How does it make you feel?

[N_luv_w/crossdresser]

I posted recently and i guess it just looks like a poll but the topic is please help....I am a SO wanting to know what my lover is expecting. I have never seen him dress because he told me that I have never brought it up. What is a good way to bring it up. He is very masculine but wants the woman in him to come out. And with that I mean during sex. he says it would be a few times a month that he may want to do it. I do not have a problem with any of this I want to know a little about how when you told your SO what kinda thing were you looking for them to say to make you feel like they were going to be true and accepting to the fact. I am needing to know our relationship depends on me and what i think. He wants to get married one day and I love him for who he is. I do not know what to say to him though because he is one who thinks alot about things that are said and i do not want to be took out of text from how i really feel.

You are all very beautiful BTW and I am glad I choose this forum to join.

[susan2010]

jenn:
wow. It sounds like you are a caring person and are trying as best you can. As someone whose so is not supportive, I look on with envy. Maybe it's shame and embarassment that's preventing him from being open with you. Most of us grew up ashamed of what we wanted to do or be My only suggestion is to continue to let him know you love and accept him for what he is. Keep it up!

[RhondaJean]

Oh my! That's quite a tall order! It sounds like you have thought about this and are past the initial shock and truly do love him for the person he is inside and not by what he might want to wear or how he may want to express himself. CONGRATULATIONS and BLESS YOU!
You have never seen him dressed as he states that you've never brought it up,, but he wants to be able to express his inner girl with you sexually. And if I understand the question,, how do you bring it up? I might think of a coule small suggestions that may or may not open the door, so to speak. In the languid afterflow time of lovemaking,,, maybe have some fun, bring him some sexy panties to put on,,, or maybe some evening,, when you are both in the mood for some playtime,,, maybe you can change into a pretty little nightgown, and have one for him. Come out dressed in your gown and invite him to go get into something comfortable, have the nightie on the bed with a note indicating that this is for him. I am not suggesting that you may never initiate sex, but take the lead,, let him be led, allow for him to be more submissive. See where that leads...
You sound like a joy of a person and I hope that this works out mutually to the benefit of you both! Let us hear back how this works out.

[Angie G]

And we are glad to have you with us Jenn. Why not just tell him You want to make love to her tonight then do it.:hugs:
Angie

[ReineD]

Hi Jenn,

It was wonderful the first time I was with my SO dressed, even though she felt a little nervous. I did tell her she was beautiful and I meant every word. Then, events took on their own momentum. If I had had anything scripted, it would have flown out right out the window!

Just tell her how you feel from your heart. Your love for him comes shining through your words. Be yourself, and let nature take its course!

:hugs:

[Raquel June]

I had some trouble understanding exactly what you were saying, but it really sounds like crossdressing has nothing to do with your relationship issues. I think you need to put some serious thought into what you want out of the relationship and if it is even viable.

You already said in the last thread that you had broken up with him and/or cheated on him four times. You also said he told you that he fantasized about being with men, and he told you that he didn't need a woman because he already had a woman inside himself.

You both have been very hurtful to each other, but it sounds like now he's being mean to you deliberately. Is he being abusive to pay you back for hurting him before? Whatever the case is, your relationship has serious problems. You mentioned that he also over-analyzes things and takes things the wrong way, which sounds like he's just looking to start fights with you.

Normally around here you'll see a crossdresser who is a little too obsessed with crossdressing trying to figure out how to make a relationship work with a partner who has trouble accepting it. That's something that can eventually work out. But your situation is different. You're in love with him, and you accept him the way he is, and he's just playing games with you.

This is just a bad relationship. Normally, couples counseling might help, but it doesn't sound like you two are even much of a couple. Besides, it's hard to find a counselor who is good at dealing with crossdressers anyway. I think you need to get yourself some counseling, though, just to help yourself personally. It's a little frightening to hear you say that this man is your soul mate when it's such a bad relationship. Saying "but I love him" or "he's my soul mate" in the face of emotional abuse is a sign of severe codependance, and your life is going to be a painful one if you don't sort out what's really best for you.

Good luck.

[faltenrock]

Goot to have you here Jenn. I've had thank experience with my wife, I came out to her in 1995, we got married in late 1996.
I was nervous like hell. I dressed up at daytime and I was very much afriad what she would think and how she would feel when making love with me being dressed. She didn't talk about the way I looked at all. It was a very satisfying experience for me. For her, I think it was just ok. Later, the follwoing years we repeated that many times until around the year 2002 when she said, she didn't want to see me dressed again. She also didn't want to make love with me being dressed.
Until today, I dress if she's not around, she doesn't mind but is not happy with that. These days, after many disussions about the dressing, she seems to be more accepting the fact that I need this as a balance for my health any my personality.
Take it easy and do what you feel is right for you. If you don't want it, let him know asap.

[docrobbysherry]

Because it doesn't sound like your relationship problems have much to do with CDing.

It sounds like u have severe communication problems! U have important things u wish to discuss with him, but don't feel comfortable, or even know how to begin. And it doesn't sound like he's been completely up front with u about his CDing either. Maybe other things, as well.

Jenn, I'm sorry. It sounds like u really care about this man. But, if u can't discuss your feelings openly and freely with him, I don't think u can't have a successful relationship with him!

I suggest u just open up to him, and tell him everything you've mentioned here. He will either open up to u, too. Or close down and shut u out. Either way, you'll know his tru feelings for u! If he's the thotful type, it may take him some time alone to sort out his feelings for u!

Good luck, dear. U sound like a sweet, loving soul! U deserve a man who will give that same love back to u!:)