My Changing Needs

[tasha_cd]

I have a question of quite an explicit nature so if anyone is offended by such questions please stop reading now.
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I have been on HRT now for about 5 ½ months and have already started to see some small breast development. Unwanted erections have stopped and my penis has started to srink.

What I wanted to know is, I know that I will loose the ability to produce seemen and thus ejectulate (not that I want to) but I've also seem to have lost the abilty to reach an orgasm.

I can try in vain for 20-30 minute with nothing but a tired arm and a red penis. Even with my partners help, kissing and cuddling and / or nipple play I still get nothing.

While I'm somewhat ambivalent to it all (take it or leave it) she is disapointed that I can help her reach an orgasm very quickly, she can not return the favour.

How have you girls overcome this problem, will it pass in time, or is this just the way it is.?



Renée

P.S. Yes I know that my ID Calls me Tasha. That name I picked a long time ago to join this group but have since settle on the name Renée

[GypsyKaren]

HRT will not only kill your sex drive, but also your ability to have sex, so it's not something that will pass in time.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Sharon]

Life's Rule No. 33, sub-paragraph a: You can't have it all. Sub-paragraph a, sub-sub paragraph ii: On occasion, one must choose among divergent wants and needs and be realistic about what is and is not physically possible.

Phew! -- that dang rulebook is getting way too heavy to be pulling out so often.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

mildly explicit answer below......
:2c:
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i've posted on this before...i have 2 wonderful experienced doctors..one of them a transwoman..both have told me that their #1 complaint of post op women is sex drive/inability to orgasm......if you want to have pleasurable orgasmic sex as a woman..you have to keep your own ability to enjoy sex alive through this journey....

my doctor who is trans commented that the way to do this is to simply keep your "sexuality" alive and that you should not be ashamed to masturbate..even as a guy when you think of yourself as a woman.....

i am 3 months on estradial, spiro and finesteride and i have masturbated quite often....over time my emmision has become much less but i'm able to ejaculate.. it's getting more difficult tho. for obvious reasons.

my doctor says that if i can't orgasm she can lower the testosterone blockers....

so its true that you can't have both...

its just that you have to manage your meds and your own personal needs as you discover yourself in this journey.. more testosterone = more erections/orgasms...maybe that works for you ..it doesnt work for many girls i know..

also you may want to consider that your needs truly are changing..

perhaps your no longer responding to the same sexual cues and added to your lower testosterone its adding up to your current situation.

you should talk to your doctor about it...

[tasha_cd]

I know and understand that there were going to be changes and this does not change my decision to transition for a second.

It's not that I'm trying to ejaculate (yuk) but I guess I will probably miss that euphoric sensation that came with it.

So is that really it, the end of any sort of sexual pleasure

I know “Life's Rule No. 33, sub-paragraph a: You can't have it all.”
……but sometimes would be nice.

What about post SRS ? will that change anything?



Renée

[GypsyKaren]

As a post-op, I can say that everything works just fine.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Priss]

Hmm... The Orgasm thing.

Iam not an expert by far, but I know that there are some risks to all of this. Especially with SRS. After all, things may not always go as planned during any surgery.

The way it went for me, was that up to SRS I never really had a problem tossing one off as a former friend used to call it. I've always been visually stimulable, mentally stimulable, heck I guess Iam just easy... After SRS, I had my first Orgasm at about the 3 month mark, it just happened while I was doing my dilations... Today, while I don't do it near as much as I did prior to SRS, I still don't seem to have a problem once the mood strikes me.

Perhaps you're trying too hard. Stress to perform may very well be working against you. You may also be transitioning to the point where it takes more mental work than physical work. Give yourself the time and space to explore yourself, your fantasies, etc... Don't push yourself to have the orgasm, just let it happen.

If all fails, check with your doctor. Perhaps your HRT needs some adjustment.

[Jenna1561]

Hi, First some background, I take Spiro 100mg daily (8 months) and Estradiol 2mg daily (5months). So Renee, we've been on about the same amount of time. My first 3 months of Spiro were lower dosed at 50mg daily, but when I added the Estradiol, my Spiro was increased.

My penis has diminished in size; I haven't had a spontaneous erection in over 3 months. It is extremely difficult to become erect, but it does still occur; I am capable of a minor orgasm when masturbating but only a small amount of seminal fluid is produced and NO fluids are ejaculated. I cannot maintain an erection very long and it is a very soft/weak erection.

However, I don't know if it can be called an orgasm, but i do have a small amount of breast growth and areola enlargement and when they are "played with," I have the most intense feelings of pleasure wash over what seems like my entire body. These feelings are so totally different from a male orgam, last so much longer, and are so intense that I literally have to grab hold of something to help control my body. I have always enjoyed being "played with" upstairs, but since HRT, it is simply fabulous.


Jenna

[Valeria]

i've posted on this before...i have 2 wonderful experienced doctors..one of them a transwoman..both have told me that their #1 complaint of post op women is sex drive/inability to orgasm......
That's a fairly common complaint of cis women too, of course. For many trans females, the solution is quite simple -- take progesterone and/or testosterone supplements. Either will help with sex drive.

[Steph Butterfield]

I have no desire to play with " it " until it resembles what I should always have had, its only use is in the lgr.

If it is shrinking in size, thart could be an indication of too much oestrogen being taken. I was 7 months on 2 mg oestradiol per day, then 5 months on 4 mg per day and 6 mg last 8 months..and my donor skin has not shrunk in size.

I do not have male sex drive anymore thank goodness, I look forward to being active 6-12 months post op.


Stephanie

[Avito]

There are many Estrogen supplements available on the market which are not soy base, which will still stimulate growth. I have been taking these and they do work. Therefore you could reduce your normal dosage for a while which perhaps may give you some intermediate pleasure, but my understand is that he has to go down to zero before it comes back up again, so I face the same problem.

[Joan Merrie]

Hi, First some background, I take Spiro 100mg daily (8 months) and Estradiol 2mg daily (5months). So Renee, we've been on about the same amount of time. My first 3 months of Spiro were lower dosed at 50mg daily, but when I added the Estradiol, my Spiro was increased.

My penis has diminished in size; I haven't had a spontaneous erection in over 3 months. It is extremely difficult to become erect, but it does still occur; I am capable of a minor orgasm when masturbating but only a small amount of seminal fluid is produced and NO fluids are ejaculated. I cannot maintain an erection very long and it is a very soft/weak erection.

However, I don't know if it can be called an orgasm, but i do have a small amount of breast growth and areola enlargement and when they are "played with," I have the most intense feelings of pleasure wash over what seems like my entire body. These feelings are so totally different from a male orgam, last so much longer, and are so intense that I literally have to grab hold of something to help control my body. I have always enjoyed being "played with" upstairs, but since HRT, it is simply fabulous.


Jenna

And what a lovely feeling it is. The firsttime my wife did that to me ,I thought I was going to pass out.:hugs:
4 months 4mgs Estrofem 3months 100mgs spiro daily.

[Anna the Dub]

Hmm. I have been on HRT for a looong time. I had an orchidectomy about 10 years ago, and yet I can get an orgasm fairly easily and still wake up with erections in the morning (I really hate them). My sex drive is much diminished, but can stimulate on demand. My endo has said that my testosterone level is 'negligible' and my oestrogen level is quite high. When I asked him about the erections and ability to orgasm, he said that not everyone loses this 'ability', only about 50%. Oh, there is one very enjoyable thing I have discovered on HRT, and that is that my breasts are now a very sensitive erogenous zone, my first ever zone. That is really nice, just wish the erections would go for good.