Need advice for a newbie to CD

[Snowman]

I'm not great with words so i'll just go about saying i've always had a huge desire to CD. As a younger adult I would try on my mother and sisters clothes when no one was around. Now i'm in my 40s and married with 2 small children. I'm totally heterosexual and desire women only but the urge to CD in sexy womens attire has gotten extremely strong over the past few years. I wish I could explain it. I know for a fact my wife would freak if she knew and I really don't want my kids knowing, at least till they are much older. I enjoy being a man and have no desire to transform in anyway.

Any advice from people who have been in this situation would be greatly appreciated.

[matilda]

I'm not great with words so i'll just go about saying i've always had a huge desire to CD. As a younger adult I would try on my mother and sisters clothes when no one was around. Now i'm in my 40s and married with 2 small children. I'm totally heterosexual and desire women only but the urge to CD in sexy womens attire has gotten extremely strong over the past few years. I wish I could explain it. I know for a fact my wife would freak if she knew and I really don't want my kids knowing, at least till they are much older. I enjoy being a man and have no desire to transform in anyway.

Any advice from people who have been in this situation would be greatly appreciated.

I was in the same boat as you. The thing about this web site is that there are so many variations of CDers on this site that you really feel that you are not alone. Many are alot braver than me, I am and probably will always be a closet dresser. Like you it started when I was young when I became fascinated with bra's. I married and had 3 children, and like you was in my 40s when the urges to wear womans clothing became strong. I now wear a bra most of the time. My wife knows but does not approve. She usually says nothing. I often read the threads on line and have found one important thing is that I am not alone, and that there is nothing wrong with me.

[Carin]

Welcome to the forum Snowman. You will find yourself in good company here. There are many in your same situation. You will find advice regarding the challenges and danger to your relationship in keeping your secret. You will also find support from transgendered people in your situation who also feel that they can not share this with their spouse/family.

It is your journey. Only you can walk it. The support, advice and insights you will find on this forum can help you navigate these waters.

I'm glad you make it here.

[joann07]

There are no specific laws that say you can't wear women's clothes. Unfortunately, it's a societal thing that makes its so.
Rest assured, there are many on this site who share the same thoughts so please speak your mind.
We all support one another.

Hugs!

[Pattie O]

Hi,first thing I would do is write a list of what you enjoy doing with the Cd thing.Is it something you would like to share with your wife .If so ,baby steps may be the best approach.Im in the same boat but I am sure that I must go forward rather than backward with it as being closeted forever is too difficult .My wife knows and does not really approve but Im trying to gradually bring her around.I am so into this that Im currently having a formal dress made.The dressmaker asked me if it was for a special occassion and alas I said no.Just for me.But I have found that soon there is a xdressers/trans dinner dance in my city and partners are welcome.I would love to ask my wife to come or if not allow me to go.Im just working up the courage to ask and discuss.

Good luck and welcome to the land of over the rainbow where dreams may come true

:daydreaming:Pattie O

:thumbsup:

[jill s]

Beware! Strong is the pink side of the force.

[Ria]

Identical situation here. I love my wife, I have two little kids, 100% hetero, and get this...

After eight years of being married (Im 35 yrs) I told my wife. She already knew!

I've had CD urges since I was 10 but the older I get the more I want to do it. WTF? I don't get it? I come back from a ten day hunting trip, driving quads, shooting rifles and wearing camo. I love it but couldn't wait to get home, shave my legs, and CD ASAP!

Anyhow, you may be surprised, she could already know about your CDing. One thing I found helpful is this; don't take yourself too serious. God played a little practical joke on me with this CD thing. There is no denying that it's a deep inherent urge, Just be sure to control it.

When you explain it to your wife, and make no mistake you will have to explain it sooner or later, don't act like it's the end of the world. If you make a huge deal over it, she will also. You're simply coming clean with her on a skeleton that won't FIT in your closet anymore.

I wake up really early in the morning now to CD, I lock the door to my den, and get projects and planning/thinking work done prior to my day starting. I found it helpful to make use of CD time. Make CDing your secret weapon. (yes I do end up serfing Ebay at times for way too long, drooling over skirts, dresses and shoes) I'm working on this.

[Elle1946]

I really can't give advice but the thing that I want to say is that you are in the same boat with a lot other CD's.

[Karren H]

Same here.... the big thing is finding a balance.... If you get unbalanced.... everything may or probably will be lost.... wife, family, friends... job... money.... etc.... So better think about that before you make the plunge.... I have found that balance so to speak and I'm having the time of my life.... lives.... :)

[Marjory]

You have lots of company on this site. I'm in the closet and only CD when it's VERY safe. I'm retired now now my wife is pretty much home all the time now. Used to get oout on business trips a lot but those days are over. Good luck and keep it safe while dressing and always remember to double check to make sure put everything away. Install a boss button on your computer at home for this site.

Marjory

[Snowman]

I can't explain why the urge is so strong now since it's been sort of dormant for a few years but whenever I see a woman dressed up in sexy attire I just wish I could be. I have a bit of a Latex fetish too. That skin tight, shiny look just makes me crazy.

[Angie G]

I always thought my wife would freak but I snaked my way into her giving me a skirt to wear And the rest is history She not only didn't freak but I fully dress 5 day a week.:hugs:
Angie

[EveMarie]

No need to try and explain the "desire" sweety, we all feel the same thing to some degree. My favorite is when I see a business woman in a neat tailored siut with her hair and makeup immaculate. I also am enamoured over the retro '50s look, as I had my new hair dresser do for me this weekend.

If your business allows you to get out of town or if you do get the chance to be away from family and relations I would try to "express" yourself then, in a room, a little at a time. Living in the closet is not easy, but like a drug habit it can help relieve some of the stress of dealing with the urges.

Sorry for the "drug" reference but I can see no other analogy. I have also found that finding a GG that understands the issue and can be a completely platonic friend can help get you started. Buying clothes, learning makeup, walking correctly, habits and mannerisms, can all be learned from a GG. (for newbies that is "Genuine Girl").

Welcome to the forum sweety and good luck in your exploration of the female world.:daydreaming:

[Snowman]

I am self-employed and I spend a lot of time at the office so I can at least "express" myself up there occasionally once the day is done and everyone is gone. The GG idea is something I may explore.

[docrobbysherry]

I can't explain why the urge is so strong now since it's been sort of dormant for a few years but whenever I see a woman dressed up in sexy attire I just wish I could be. I have a bit of a Latex fetish too. That skin tight, shiny look just makes me crazy.

I am kind of a closet, "fetish" dresser. That means it turns me on sexually. I'm single now, so that's NOT such an issue for me.

U AREN'T! If dressing is sexual for u, remember you're married and be;
VERY VERY CAREFUL! :brolleyes:

[Alice B]

Just accept that you have the desires and be selective on acting upon them. If you can find the courage discuss it with your wife. Mine is very conservative so I first did a lot of on line research, printed out many articles that were to the point. I then sat down with my wife, told her of my desires and gave her the materials to read. After much discussion with her, and convincing her that I was not gay and had no desire to become a woman we arrived at an agreeable solution. That I could dress when she was not around. That was almost three years ago. As time has passed she has become more and more accepting and now allows me to dress when she is present. She mostly stays away from me, but not always and I always ask first. If she is hesitant I pass. If she is OK with it at I dress fully and have a wonderful evening and go to bed wearing my forms under my nightie. The key is honesty. You will hear that a lot from many on this forum. Good luck with discovering your female side.:hugs:

[Davinnia]

Joining this wonderful forum is a big first step in the right direction. If you said to me 18 months ago, before I joined, that I'd end up telling my wife, having my own wardrobe & drawer space & posting photos so I'm seen by others like me... I'd have said No Way !
The more you read here, the more you learn about yourself. The first step I took with my wife was to say how much I loved the feel of satin, & eventually I wore one of her nighties in bed. Every step has to be small but each one is progress.
I think some of your situation relates to age. I was 50 when I came out to my wife, I just didn't want to continue in secret, in denial & dishonestly. I'm in a much better place now.
Who knows where you'll be in a year's time, and I wish you luck in your journey.

[beckycdinks]

I have defintely started in fits and starts, a few clothes with fetish in mind, then I got over the fetish and realized CD is what I want to do. Now I'm at a stage of shaving, legs first and finding the best way to do that. More shaving then learning makeup comes next I suppose.

[Chari]

You are definitely not alone in your CD feelings, needs, and actions. Many in this forum are also at a simular point in their CD life. Whatever your question or concern, members here will offer good advice. Enjoy your stay.

[TerriM]

Hi
Karen hit it on the head. Balance is the key. I compare it to my love of pizza. I could eat a whole pie, but I don't because I don't want to weigh 300lbs. Im turning 60yrs old and still struggle to find this balance. (I mean with the CDing, the pizza thing was easier)

Yours Terri