How to reconcile the two people...

[Alexis Ann]

Hi girls,

Happily married to the woman of my dreams. Alls well in my world. Shes accepting in her own way and allows me the freedom to indulge in my hobby as she calls it.

I work within a heavily alpha male, type A personality job field, and am comfortable in it. Fitness and strength are paramount. I like to work out and lift weights, engage in martial arts etc. I am in good shape and due to the oppurtunity to spend more time at the gym lately, getting a heavier across the shoulders and thicker in the chest and arms.

Problem is...when i am away from that world (days off), i want to indulge in the hobby. When i get all dolled up, i look good (so i've been told by my honey) and i agree. I look pretty good :)

But when i am all dolled up, i look at the heavy shoulders and (mildly) thick arms (that i am happy with in guy mode), i go *sigh* and view it as detracting from the overall presentation.
If that makes sense.

The same qualities i enjoy about myself at work, i find as a liability when dressed. As it stands now...when dressed, i look like a fit, tall and curvy (with some help mind you, but alot is natural) woman who works out alot.

So have any of you encountered this? How do you reconcile the desire to achieve both gender's ideals of beauty / body shape mentally.

Seems like i have two people inside of me...one wanting to get 'cut' with a nice male physique, and the other wanting the ideal female form. Confusing.

Is there anyway to resolve this? I've tried thinking of it in the following terms, "There are some really hot, muscular and fit woman out there. Maybe i can pass myself off as a female weightlifter or fitness junkie when i retire and decide to go out on the town."

Sorry if i rambled and made no sense what so ever, but i've had a long night. Hope ya'll get the gist of the question.

AA

[Alice Torn]

Sounds familiar. I can sure relate to you conflict. I also, would like to be stronger, more fit. I have been blue collar all my life, including gravedigger, with hand tools. Yes, it is a double-wammy. I also fear getting more big in the shoulders, and neck, and arms, for dressing reasons, and if I ever go out again in public. I don't know the answer, except to give one thing up, or dress with clothes that balance you better. That is possible. Not very many of us looks 100% like ladies, but good resemblances in the right outfits. It may be best, to work out moderately, increasing strength, dressing in a way to accentuate the positive, balance your form. Thanks for reading my two cents.

[JaytoJillian]

I workout 5 to 6 times a week, and have done so for years. I shy away from things that will add bulk to my arms and shoulders. I'm sure some of the guys in my gym wonder about the smooth legs and shaved armpits; especially when I reach for the 20-pound barbell instead of the 60 or 70-pound one (which I am very capable of tossing around). But as a result of changing up my routine to focus on adding mass to my legs and butt, my arms have become slimmer and more defined.

[bah-bah-bobbie]

I don't work out. All my exercise comes from running and carrying stuff around a warehouse. I'm quite thin (6'4", 155lbs) but by no means frail looking and quite well sculpted. But the blood vessels on my arms protrude so badly even I am disgusted by it sometimes. I can only wear long sleeve dresses because of that, but it does nothing for my calloused hands with the same blood vessel problem.

[Karren H]

That is a problem and a lot of us have it..... And I've been able to work around it for a couple reasons.. I'm a coal miner which is a pretty male dominate field underground.. but that's never been a problem... Though I take some ribbing for being skinny and I think a lot around work know abput my tendencies and hobby...

And I'm pretty fit for an old girl but I do play ice hockey twice a week in an over 25 league... which keeps my girlish figure maintained.... in shape... But the nice thing about hockey it requires very little upper body strength.. And a lot of lower body... Hips and thighs and legs.. I couldn't bench press 100 pounds if my makeup depended on it!! Hahaha.

At home I have a tread mill, rowing machine, lateral thigh trainer like a stair stepper for skating and a universal gym but I only do upper body exersizes for tone and not for strength..

[docrobbysherry]

Same as many of the girls here, I have that problem. That is the one part of me that doesn't look fem. In an attempt to look better, I stopped all upper body workouts over 5 years ago. Hasn't helped my shoulders at all. And, altho my arms aren't very big, they still look too vein-y and muscle-y. ( See avatar pic).

The best solution for us is, long sleeves! I also use leotard tops and see thru tops. Even short sleeves help.
Lastly, I USUALLY wear gloves! Helps cover up my big hands and my "farmer's tan", too.:heehee:

[fluffy_kingston]

I used to run and lift weights. Now I do yoga, ballet and some yardwork. I think I am actually in better shape now.

My diet is excellent though.