Alexis Ann
09-29-2008, 12:58 AM
Hi girls,
Happily married to the woman of my dreams. Alls well in my world. Shes accepting in her own way and allows me the freedom to indulge in my hobby as she calls it.
I work within a heavily alpha male, type A personality job field, and am comfortable in it. Fitness and strength are paramount. I like to work out and lift weights, engage in martial arts etc. I am in good shape and due to the oppurtunity to spend more time at the gym lately, getting a heavier across the shoulders and thicker in the chest and arms.
Problem is...when i am away from that world (days off), i want to indulge in the hobby. When i get all dolled up, i look good (so i've been told by my honey) and i agree. I look pretty good :)
But when i am all dolled up, i look at the heavy shoulders and (mildly) thick arms (that i am happy with in guy mode), i go *sigh* and view it as detracting from the overall presentation.
If that makes sense.
The same qualities i enjoy about myself at work, i find as a liability when dressed. As it stands now...when dressed, i look like a fit, tall and curvy (with some help mind you, but alot is natural) woman who works out alot.
So have any of you encountered this? How do you reconcile the desire to achieve both gender's ideals of beauty / body shape mentally.
Seems like i have two people inside of me...one wanting to get 'cut' with a nice male physique, and the other wanting the ideal female form. Confusing.
Is there anyway to resolve this? I've tried thinking of it in the following terms, "There are some really hot, muscular and fit woman out there. Maybe i can pass myself off as a female weightlifter or fitness junkie when i retire and decide to go out on the town."
Sorry if i rambled and made no sense what so ever, but i've had a long night. Hope ya'll get the gist of the question.
AA
Happily married to the woman of my dreams. Alls well in my world. Shes accepting in her own way and allows me the freedom to indulge in my hobby as she calls it.
I work within a heavily alpha male, type A personality job field, and am comfortable in it. Fitness and strength are paramount. I like to work out and lift weights, engage in martial arts etc. I am in good shape and due to the oppurtunity to spend more time at the gym lately, getting a heavier across the shoulders and thicker in the chest and arms.
Problem is...when i am away from that world (days off), i want to indulge in the hobby. When i get all dolled up, i look good (so i've been told by my honey) and i agree. I look pretty good :)
But when i am all dolled up, i look at the heavy shoulders and (mildly) thick arms (that i am happy with in guy mode), i go *sigh* and view it as detracting from the overall presentation.
If that makes sense.
The same qualities i enjoy about myself at work, i find as a liability when dressed. As it stands now...when dressed, i look like a fit, tall and curvy (with some help mind you, but alot is natural) woman who works out alot.
So have any of you encountered this? How do you reconcile the desire to achieve both gender's ideals of beauty / body shape mentally.
Seems like i have two people inside of me...one wanting to get 'cut' with a nice male physique, and the other wanting the ideal female form. Confusing.
Is there anyway to resolve this? I've tried thinking of it in the following terms, "There are some really hot, muscular and fit woman out there. Maybe i can pass myself off as a female weightlifter or fitness junkie when i retire and decide to go out on the town."
Sorry if i rambled and made no sense what so ever, but i've had a long night. Hope ya'll get the gist of the question.
AA