Topaz
05-26-2005, 10:47 PM
To give you a clue as to why I am posting this. I want to provoke some thought on this subject and to perhaps educate and learn.
I found out recently that my husband was born intersexed. His parents didn't wait to see whether he would lean toward female or male. He was "assigned" to male by surgury when he was an infant. It didn't take. He was beaten as a child if he displayed his female side in any way. He tells me that he doesn't remember his father ever hitting him with an open hand, it was always a closed fist.
Recently after he spent some time talking to his mother and asking painful questions she revealed to him that he was born intersexed. He told her they chose wrong. He's still revealing things to me slowly. I don't know yet if he has told his mother about his cross dressing or not. Or what ever got him to ask the questions to her that he did. I guess that will come in time.
It has brought new understanding and depth for me. I find I love him even more today than I did a month ago.
I know that this is not the reason most of you ladies dress. It may only be my husband who dresses for this reason, I don't know yet. My husband knows I plan on posting this, he supports me in this although his and my fear is the unknown reaction that will happen when I post this. (Sounds familiar doesn't it?) I'm hoping it will be positive.
My daughter wrote this and I find it very insightful. I have her permission to post this where ever I want.
Hugs,
Topaz
... now to tackle a closeted discussion.
There has been much publicity on Gay culture, Gay lifestyle, Gay rights, Gay community and so on. The Gay Community is identified as GLBT... Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered (a package term for transvestites and transexuals). However, the problem here is the community left in the closet and the unasked questions only recently begining to come to light about some individuals in the "Transgendered" community. The problem I refer to here is the one of the intersexed or more commonly known as the hermaphrodite community.
Most of you will know that hermaphrodites are born with sexual organs of both male and female, to varying degrees and levels of functioning. Since the birth of cosmetic surgery, those born with this variation have been submitted to a process of gender assignment. That is, the parents and doctor decide which set of organs to remove and which gender the child is to become and consequently be raised as. Often, this is a relatively easy decision as one "set" of genitals is often more developed than the other, ie. a child with a fully formed female reproductive system, but also with a small penis instead of the normal clitorus. However, there are the OTHER cases... the children born with both "sets" of organs developed and working... leaving the parents to choose if they prefer to raise a boy or girl. After this decision is made, the cosmetic surgeon operates and presto... the baby becomes a "normal" boy or girl and is sent off with the parents to be raised as such. End of story?? Perhaps not...
Now how are these hermaphroditic children created in the first place??? This is a really interesting question and the research on the develpoment of fetesus has come up with some answers (theories... not certain.) that raises a whole new brood of ideas and questions about human sexuality. We all know the process is started with egg and sperm unite and make a cell which multiply... that's the easy part. However, research has brought up that ALL fetuses are originally FEMALE (remember, we all have an X chromosone... see how this might mess with people's perception of sexuality??? one could argue that by this nature we should all be bisexual... and yes, the argument has been made.)... at some point in development the Y chromosone kicks in causing the female internal organs to theoretically drop and continue developing but as male organs from this point on. Now, consider that a penis is really an enlarged clitorus, and the testes are the equivalant of ovaries. Hermaphrodites are genetically coded with XXY chromosones, as compared to our XX or XY chromosones... thus causing the fetus to develop 2 sets of organs, the Y chromosone causes one set to develop as male and the other set stays female.
Still with me here??? Ok, now after the gender assignment surgery has taken place and the child has been sent home, most parents of these children will raise the child by a strict ideation of male/ female roles, ie. dresses and dolls vs. pants and trucks. (Whew us "normal" kids thought we had it rough if we wanted a toy for the other gender??? Not at all!!) During this upbringing, the parents also have to make sure to take the child to regular appointments to the doctor to make sure the child gets the hormones needed to keep them developing in the "right" direction and thus repressing any contrary effects nature might bring in. Let's say simply that this process can make puberty a very rough and extremely confusing time... particularily if hormone treatments and nature really decide to battle this one out!!! Also, this is the time sexual identity begins to establish itself.
Now if all goes as planned, the child grows up into a "normal", "straight" adult. However... what if they made the wrong choice???
We all know that there is a "disorder" called Gender Identity Crisis (re: Boys Don't Cry... great movie!!). But the question that arises is how many of the people afflicted with this "disease" or transvestitism and transsexualism for that matter were originally born hermaphrodites??? Not all, of course by any means or implications, however as a largely unexplored subject that seems to be purposefully left waaaay back in the closet, the implications of just such a senario are too large to ignore. So where are the questions?? Where is the research??? Has there been any tracking of these children into the adult years?? I ask these questions because over the last few months it has come to my attention that some of the "transgendered" community have been discovering, through much asking and prodding, and occasionally fighting, that they were born as hermaphrodites... and their parents chose wrong.
This revalation brings up the question of hermaphrodites rights. Should they have the right to reassign their physical gender identity? Why should they be labeled as transsexual if they choose to do so??Should it be made easier to change the necessary paperwork for these individuals to adopt their true identities as the gender of their choice or in actuality, nature?? Should parents have the right to assign a gender to their newborn hermaphrodite child? Should the child have the right for the surgery to be left undone until the child is old enough to clearly establish their gender (most of us are clearly more boyish or girlish by age 5) or even until their teens when they would be most able to make an informed choice? Should parents have the right to surgically alter any childs genitals for reasons other than necessity??? (Consider this one carefully... it not only covers the removal of a girl's clitorus as a Somalian religious/ cultural practice, but also the removal of a boy's foreskin as standard accepted practice here in the US, though most families who opt for this do not have the reasoning of culture or religious beliefs to back up this practice unlike the Jews.)
So why is it exactly, that the gay community has chosen to leave this one in the closet, rather than bringing it out into the open and fighting for the rights of these individuals as a matter of course... or even as a service to some of the transgendered community who have discovered that this is an inescapable part of their lives?? Can those of us who fight to promote the rights of the gay community feel we are doing our best in this field without also fighting for the rights of the hermaphrodite or intersexed community??? Shouldn't they be included as well???
I, for one choose to fight for the equal treatment and rights of all people on this planet (or other planets, if anyone from them arrive...), as such I feel this is a subject that has been kept in the closet long enough and should no longer be ignored. Will you choose to help in this struggle??
P.S. For a really good reading on gender assignment and the Nature vs. Nurture argument, read As Nature Made Him... it discusses some of these
points, though it is not about an intersexed individual.
"This is a post I made in a group I go on... I plan on posting it on other groups as well... feel free to post it wherever you wish. Much love,"
I found out recently that my husband was born intersexed. His parents didn't wait to see whether he would lean toward female or male. He was "assigned" to male by surgury when he was an infant. It didn't take. He was beaten as a child if he displayed his female side in any way. He tells me that he doesn't remember his father ever hitting him with an open hand, it was always a closed fist.
Recently after he spent some time talking to his mother and asking painful questions she revealed to him that he was born intersexed. He told her they chose wrong. He's still revealing things to me slowly. I don't know yet if he has told his mother about his cross dressing or not. Or what ever got him to ask the questions to her that he did. I guess that will come in time.
It has brought new understanding and depth for me. I find I love him even more today than I did a month ago.
I know that this is not the reason most of you ladies dress. It may only be my husband who dresses for this reason, I don't know yet. My husband knows I plan on posting this, he supports me in this although his and my fear is the unknown reaction that will happen when I post this. (Sounds familiar doesn't it?) I'm hoping it will be positive.
My daughter wrote this and I find it very insightful. I have her permission to post this where ever I want.
Hugs,
Topaz
... now to tackle a closeted discussion.
There has been much publicity on Gay culture, Gay lifestyle, Gay rights, Gay community and so on. The Gay Community is identified as GLBT... Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered (a package term for transvestites and transexuals). However, the problem here is the community left in the closet and the unasked questions only recently begining to come to light about some individuals in the "Transgendered" community. The problem I refer to here is the one of the intersexed or more commonly known as the hermaphrodite community.
Most of you will know that hermaphrodites are born with sexual organs of both male and female, to varying degrees and levels of functioning. Since the birth of cosmetic surgery, those born with this variation have been submitted to a process of gender assignment. That is, the parents and doctor decide which set of organs to remove and which gender the child is to become and consequently be raised as. Often, this is a relatively easy decision as one "set" of genitals is often more developed than the other, ie. a child with a fully formed female reproductive system, but also with a small penis instead of the normal clitorus. However, there are the OTHER cases... the children born with both "sets" of organs developed and working... leaving the parents to choose if they prefer to raise a boy or girl. After this decision is made, the cosmetic surgeon operates and presto... the baby becomes a "normal" boy or girl and is sent off with the parents to be raised as such. End of story?? Perhaps not...
Now how are these hermaphroditic children created in the first place??? This is a really interesting question and the research on the develpoment of fetesus has come up with some answers (theories... not certain.) that raises a whole new brood of ideas and questions about human sexuality. We all know the process is started with egg and sperm unite and make a cell which multiply... that's the easy part. However, research has brought up that ALL fetuses are originally FEMALE (remember, we all have an X chromosone... see how this might mess with people's perception of sexuality??? one could argue that by this nature we should all be bisexual... and yes, the argument has been made.)... at some point in development the Y chromosone kicks in causing the female internal organs to theoretically drop and continue developing but as male organs from this point on. Now, consider that a penis is really an enlarged clitorus, and the testes are the equivalant of ovaries. Hermaphrodites are genetically coded with XXY chromosones, as compared to our XX or XY chromosones... thus causing the fetus to develop 2 sets of organs, the Y chromosone causes one set to develop as male and the other set stays female.
Still with me here??? Ok, now after the gender assignment surgery has taken place and the child has been sent home, most parents of these children will raise the child by a strict ideation of male/ female roles, ie. dresses and dolls vs. pants and trucks. (Whew us "normal" kids thought we had it rough if we wanted a toy for the other gender??? Not at all!!) During this upbringing, the parents also have to make sure to take the child to regular appointments to the doctor to make sure the child gets the hormones needed to keep them developing in the "right" direction and thus repressing any contrary effects nature might bring in. Let's say simply that this process can make puberty a very rough and extremely confusing time... particularily if hormone treatments and nature really decide to battle this one out!!! Also, this is the time sexual identity begins to establish itself.
Now if all goes as planned, the child grows up into a "normal", "straight" adult. However... what if they made the wrong choice???
We all know that there is a "disorder" called Gender Identity Crisis (re: Boys Don't Cry... great movie!!). But the question that arises is how many of the people afflicted with this "disease" or transvestitism and transsexualism for that matter were originally born hermaphrodites??? Not all, of course by any means or implications, however as a largely unexplored subject that seems to be purposefully left waaaay back in the closet, the implications of just such a senario are too large to ignore. So where are the questions?? Where is the research??? Has there been any tracking of these children into the adult years?? I ask these questions because over the last few months it has come to my attention that some of the "transgendered" community have been discovering, through much asking and prodding, and occasionally fighting, that they were born as hermaphrodites... and their parents chose wrong.
This revalation brings up the question of hermaphrodites rights. Should they have the right to reassign their physical gender identity? Why should they be labeled as transsexual if they choose to do so??Should it be made easier to change the necessary paperwork for these individuals to adopt their true identities as the gender of their choice or in actuality, nature?? Should parents have the right to assign a gender to their newborn hermaphrodite child? Should the child have the right for the surgery to be left undone until the child is old enough to clearly establish their gender (most of us are clearly more boyish or girlish by age 5) or even until their teens when they would be most able to make an informed choice? Should parents have the right to surgically alter any childs genitals for reasons other than necessity??? (Consider this one carefully... it not only covers the removal of a girl's clitorus as a Somalian religious/ cultural practice, but also the removal of a boy's foreskin as standard accepted practice here in the US, though most families who opt for this do not have the reasoning of culture or religious beliefs to back up this practice unlike the Jews.)
So why is it exactly, that the gay community has chosen to leave this one in the closet, rather than bringing it out into the open and fighting for the rights of these individuals as a matter of course... or even as a service to some of the transgendered community who have discovered that this is an inescapable part of their lives?? Can those of us who fight to promote the rights of the gay community feel we are doing our best in this field without also fighting for the rights of the hermaphrodite or intersexed community??? Shouldn't they be included as well???
I, for one choose to fight for the equal treatment and rights of all people on this planet (or other planets, if anyone from them arrive...), as such I feel this is a subject that has been kept in the closet long enough and should no longer be ignored. Will you choose to help in this struggle??
P.S. For a really good reading on gender assignment and the Nature vs. Nurture argument, read As Nature Made Him... it discusses some of these
points, though it is not about an intersexed individual.
"This is a post I made in a group I go on... I plan on posting it on other groups as well... feel free to post it wherever you wish. Much love,"