One GIANT Leap

[TrinityTAM]

I'll start out by saying that I've been going to see a counselor for social anxiety and depression for about a year now. She's been great with me; totally compassionate and understanding. When I first started looking for a therapist I really just picked her at random, but I'm totally glad it was her. I've thought about bringing up the whole gender issue with her, but always decided against it. I was far too scared to broach the subject with her.

I really started to think about bringing it up within the past couple of days as my session was tonight. This time though, I seemed to feel much stronger about it than I had in the past. Needless to say I was scared out of my mind and really considered bailing out again. I wasn't sure how to approach the subject at ALL. She didn't list any kind of sexual or gender issues so I was pretty unsure as to whether or not I should attempt it. The fact that I felt totally comfortable and at ease (as much as I possibly could with something like this) with this woman was a big reason why I though I should try.

I decided to start asking her how her list of the issues that she deals with works. I asked if any of the people she sees bring up other issues and how she might deal with them. She told me that if the relationship she has with that particular person is strong enough, then she will help them deal with things that might be outside her area of expertise. She even happened to mention that she had a client who was dealing with MtF issues! Her saying that made me feel much better and finally, after thirty minutes of beating around the bush, I told her. She was completely understanding and supportive and immediately started asking questions in order to start learning more. At that moment I felt totally and utterly relieved, unlike I've ever experienced in my life. I just wish we had more time to talk!!

Normally I've been seeing her every two weeks, but she thought we ought to meet again sooner and I totally agreed. I'm ready to see her again tomorrow! I'll have to settle for next Wednesday though, but I just can't wait!!

[docrobbysherry]

Most qualified therapists r your friends! Just be sure u don't do all the talking!
U need to be sure she'll help u, not just use u as learning experience!

I believe if she's legit, she'll soon explain that what you're doing is ok! :)

[TrinityTAM]

Most qualified therapists r your friends! Just be sure u don't do all the talking!
U need to be sure she'll help u, not just use u as learning experience!

I believe if she's legit, she'll soon explain that what you're doing is ok! :)
I'm kinda surprised that I haven't gotten more feedback than this. Maybe this forum isn't as good as it used to be.

[Shelly Preston]

It sometimes takes people time to digest the post before they reply

Please do not be so quick to judge

I am glad you have found a counsellor with whom you can discuss your gender issues
I am sure it will help now that you have got over the hurdle of telling her
You will be more relaxed knowing its not something you have to hide

as with anything if your not sure exactly wht is meant by any comment ask for clarification

Good luck for next week

[Darlene Rochelle]

I NEED someone I can talk to. My gender issues have been "boiling over" lately. I need to have a woman to talk to,don't feel comfortable with a male therapist.:sad:

[uknowhoo]

Congratulations on coming out to your therapist! That's a big, scary step, but I'm very confident you will be glad you took it. With a fuller understanding of who you are, she will be much better able to support you on the road to self-awareness and acceptance.:hugs:



The first time I saw my therapist, 4 1/2 years ago, it took me a half hour of beating around the bush (background, context) before I stated- for the first time ever- that "I'm a crossdresser." I was shaking like a leaf- in a very stiff wind. She, like your therapist, has been wonderful! It was she who suggested I seek out an online community, which brought me here. That, as I've stated before, has had a profound, positive effect on my life.

Sadly, I had my last appointment with her on Thursday, as she's moving to Maine. :cry: I will be seeing out a new therapist (definitely also female) at some point soon.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Trinity,

You'll see that you have had a lot of people read your thread withour responding. I think this is because you have made a statement rather than asked a question of the group. Asking a question automatically produces a response from people.

When I read your thread I thought great for you.....it's been playing on your mind and you took an adrenaline dumping step to communicate with your therapst. But I didn't feel the need to reply.

So, after putting in my :2c: well done girl, may this be the beginning of a new era of enlightenment for you.

[docrobbysherry]

I NEED someone I can talk to. My gender issues have been "boiling over" lately. I need to have a woman to talk to,don't feel comfortable with a male therapist.:sad:

It appears all the posters here, including me, have had female therapists. I think there's good reason for that.

1. I found it easier to talk about personal details with a woman. Because I was used to that.
2. It is my belief woman r GENERALLY more patient and understanding than men.
3. I believe women r also OFTEN less judgemental than men.

Please find a qualified therapist immediately! U have no idea how quickly u will start feeling better about yourself and your life!:thumbsup:

[Jenna Lynne]

The first time you talk with someone about it is the most difficult -- and the most necessary. After that it gets easier!

A good therapist should absolutely accept and support you in your quest for self-acceptance. The only ones to worry about (in my personal opinion) are those who come from a strong religious orientation, as they may have the attitude that crossdressing goes against the Bible. I don't want to get into a religious debate (believe me, you don't want to get me started!). I'm just saying, when choosing a therapist to talk to about gender issues, this might be a potential source of problems.

If you're uncertain about where your therapist is coming from, you might start interviewing your therapist by saying, "I'm not gay, but I want to know how you feel about homosexuality, and how you work with gay clients." The therapist's answer will give you some useful information ... and if they duck and dodge, that's a red flag!

I've always had women therapists. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking with a man about this stuff.

***Jenna Lynne***

[Alice B]

You have made a wise decision and if you stick with it and listen you will grow considerably and resolve many issues. Good luck.

[TrinityTAM]

Thank you for all the replies. I guess I really just wanted to hear a lot of 'atta girls for me. :)

For those of you who've talked to a therapist about this then you already know the utter feeling of removing about a three ton weight from my chest. You understand my feelings of utter happiness and anxiousness (the good kind!) to see my therapist again. I cannot WAIT to talk to her next week and see what kinds of questions she has. I feel like I'm totally ready and comfortable to answer anything she asks of me. I really don't think I could possibly see myself talking about this with someone else from how at ease she makes me feel.

Next Wednesday cannot come soon enough!

[RylieCD]

It appears all the posters here, including me, have had female therapists. I think there's good reason for that.

1. I found it easier to talk about personal details with a woman. Because I was used to that.
2. It is my belief woman r GENERALLY more patient and understanding than men.
3. I believe women r also OFTEN less judgemental than men.

Please find a qualified therapist immediately! U have no idea how quickly u will start feeling better about yourself and your life!:thumbsup:

When I first started looking for a theripist I also thought a female theripist would be easier to talk to as well, but what I first tried was finding someone who specialized in gender issues. I called around and found someone (female, but should that matter)who said they were. But it ended up I was there second gender patient and I felt like a lab rat. After more searching I found another (male, also should not matter) that has been highly recognized in the tg community in this area. He has been great and has been refering to the DSM/IV and WPATH which I dont think the previous DR ever did.

I would recommend anyone who is thinking about therapy, 1) do it, 2) do you research find someone who has experience with gender issues.

[Dragster]

I guess I'm lucky, I came to terms with myself through the input from the good people who populate this forum; from answers to my own questions and those from others. No one I know has gone through therapy for anything, so I would not automatically have gone down that route. Even though my brother in law is a child psychotherappist, and his wife and adult one, I would NOT want to discuss my CD activities with either of them. That's far too close to home! I would, though, like to help my wife down the route to acceptance that I'm a CDer, but it doesn't look like we are going to achieve that without help.

Tony

[Sally2005]

I tried it for depression and I have to say you have to be very careful who you pick. They are generally in less demand than a doctor so they may tend to want to meet too much when you really should spend time between sessions reflecting on what you learned. For depression, I found medication to be much more effective because you are stuck in a state because your seritonin is low. If you are stuck in the pink fog, there is no medication so be careful...personally I found this forum and experimenting to be a great place to learn about myself and overcome any shame. It took many years, but I believe I now know exactly who I am.