Ever read this book?

[Susan Loves Life]

Recently I came across this book on the net and I am wondering if anyone else has read it. If so what do you think of it?

Personaly, I think it should be required reading for everyone.

Book title - So You Want to be a T-Girl - A Realistic Guide to the Transitional Journey

[suzy cool]

I've not read it and I haven't heard of it. I would read it if it was lying around somewhere because I like reading, but I am not interested in transitioning so I wouldn't go looking for it.

[Alana65]

I'd never heard of it, but would read it if I had it. Sounds interesting.

[Lisa Golightly]

Never heard of it, but not that bothered... All books are subjective and when it comes down to 'me and mine' then I'm tacitly unmoved by others experiences in decisions that are potentially holocaustic to 'me and mine'.

Read as much as you need, but remember it all comes down to you in the end...

[Deborah Jane]

Never read it, never heard of it either.
I,d take a browse through if i saw it though.

[Susan Loves Life]

Sorry for not including the link to this book, here it is.

http://www.mtftransition.com/t-girl.htm

Love to hear your comments :hugs:

[GypsyKaren]

I just read it, every last bullshit filled page of it. I agreed with a few things, and yes it's hard out there, but she sure as hell ain't speaking for me or about me. What I did find very interesting was she never said she had SRS and thought it was a waste and unnecessary, but she's going to tell me how it is? I know quite a few supposed transsexuals who lash out at those of us who have had SRS, and notice I said "supposed"...she's full of herself and the whole thing isn't worth the time or bother, just someone with a bug up their ass who can't stand to see someone happily passing her by.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Kimberley]

:iagree:

The writer was anything but objective and lost credibility very quickly in my opinion.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Jennifer in CO]

:iagree:

The writer was anything but objective and lost credibility very quickly in my opinion.

:hugs:
Kimberley


thats an under-statement....yawn

I lost track...did the author actually say they were any or all the aboe (TV?CD?TG?TS?)

Jenn

[Sally24]

Just read about half of the first "book". I guess talking about how impossible it is to transition is better than making it seem easy and really fun, but she has many things either wrong or at least out of date.

Read it if you want to see another side of things but don't take it as gospel, rather a bitter persons take on the whole subject. Anybody who transposes the transvestite and crossdresser's definitions can't be very well informed to begin with!

[Susan Loves Life]

I just read it, every last bullshit filled page of it. I agreed with a few things, and yes it's hard out there, but she sure as hell ain't speaking for me or about me. What I did find very interesting was she never said she had SRS and thought it was a waste and unnecessary, but she's going to tell me how it is? I know quite a few supposed transsexuals who lash out at those of us who have had SRS, and notice I said "supposed"...she's full of herself and the whole thing isn't worth the time or bother, just someone with a bug up their ass who can't stand to see someone happily passing her by.

Karen Starlene :star:

Yes, I do have to agree with your opinion of the book. However, it does point out that being who we really are is not all roses. And yes she is expressing a biased opinion (bigoted perhaps?) but if you ignore the "gargage" she expresses, then you can glean the "pearls" that lay within.

Just my opinion, and by the way, SRS is something I plan for in my future. :)

Love to all :love:

[Kimberley]

As I see it, this type of writing is just what we dont need. We have enough wing nuts (right handed mostly) who use misinformation against us, that to even support this kind of junk in any way is contrary to our cause.

People will glean what they want and if they get this kind of poor information it only serves to fuel their prejudices; something none of us needs.

Just my opinion.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Sara Jessica]

Gosh, will this darned "book" ever go away for good??? I have read it twice, the last time being about a year ago. It's full of stuff that might be meant as prudent information but it comes across as if it is intended to scare, nothing more and nothing less. I'll steer clear rather than read it again.

[GypsyKaren]

Yes, I do have to agree with your opinion of the book. However, it does point out that being who we really are is not all roses. And yes she is expressing a biased opinion (bigoted perhaps?) but if you ignore the "gargage" she expresses, then you can glean the "pearls" that lay within.

Just my opinion, and by the way, SRS is something I plan for in my future. :)

Love to all :love:

Pearls? What pearls? She's an idiot. And do you know anyone who has an "all roses" life? Anybody, gender be damned? I sure don't, everyone has to pay their dues in one way or another. In any event, anyone who belabors the point of keeping a penis like that is not a transsexual to me.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Susan Loves Life]

Pearls? What pearls? She's an idiot. And do you know anyone who has an "all roses" life? Anybody, gender be damned? I sure don't, everyone has to pay their dues in one way or another. In any event, anyone who belabors the point of keeping a penis like that is not a transsexual to me.

Karen Starlene :star:
Penis?? He**! they can chop that thing up and make a vagina for me, the sooner the better too ):D

[Valeria]

I guess talking about how impossible it is to transition is better than making it seem easy and really fun, but she has many things either wrong or at least out of date.
Her opinions were never in date, and no, I'm not at all convinced that making transition seem like a living hell worse than death by a thousand cuts is less destructive than overly minimizing the challenges involved.

I've critiqued her writing in more detail, and it's really not worth the time to repeat it all, but let me just note that she's both transphobic and homophobic to a large degree (and it's really, really obvious).

I'd never claim that transition is easy for everyone. It's very hard for some people, with significant challenges at times. There are no guarantees. Some of us never totally succeed in rebuilding our lives. But it is certainly not hellish for lots of us. My quality of life improved measurably the day I committed to going full time, having surgery, etc., and it has only gotten better and better since then. That's true a lot more often than people think. Often times, at least in terms of what really matters, transition really is like a walk in the park.

Trash like this has contributed to a lot of people delaying transition. It contributes to people committing suicide because life is hopeless. It contributes to the extremely destructive mentality that you should only transition as a last resort to suicide (the so called "transition or death" mentality).

I think that this "book" is one of the most destructive things I've ever read, and I wonder how many people have died as a result of horrible "advice" like this. I hope that there is a special place reserved in Dante's hell for people like this.

IOW, I'm not a fan...

[Susan Loves Life]

:eek: Ok, ok, I get the point!:doh:

I agree, this book is negative and paints a bad image. however, I still would like to point out that there are a few, a very few, good points that the author points out. For example - Do not self-medicate. Personaly, I think that is something that everyone who is considering\undergoing the transition needs to be aware of - there are dangers, serious dangers to self-medicating.

Peace to all - :love:

[Nicole Erin]

Ok so I voted before I read a bit of it.
She seems to be awfully mad about some things.
Interesting read though.

She really seems to have it in for CD and DQ.

I wonder why she hasn't figured out that people are going to live as they see fit? It is like she is trying to say who is allowed to transition and who is not.

[Kelly,R]

I liked it it was really down to earth,transitioning is hard road to travel and that is what she is saying.If you think it is just bullshit...then you are a fake.because it is hard,unless you are one of the gold pocketed few.Any info someone prints is worth reading,you can agree...or disagree,it's your right.I have talked to many who trans-ed all the why,and most all say the T-world is a dark and back stabbing world.Thats why most of them go steath as soon as they can.:2c:

[Sharon]

If you think it is just bullshit...then you are a fake.because it is hard,unless you are one of the gold pocketed few.Any info someone prints is worth reading,you can agree...or disagree,it's your right.I have talked to many who trans-ed all the why,and most all say the T-world is a dark and back stabbing world.Thats why most of them go steath as soon as they can.:2c:

First of all, your assertion that anyone who posted that parts of the book are BS is a fake is totally untrue. Where do you get off making such a claim? And the person who I know for a fact is not a fake is far from being "gold pocketed."

If you agree with the author's statements in the book, that's fine, but do not come in here and make claims that are outrageous and inflammatory. :Angry3:

Okay then, about the TS world being "dark and back stabbing" -- is this a blanket statement? While I know only three post-ops on a one-to-one basis -- I mean they are friends -- none of them are back stabbing -- far, far from it as a matter of fact. And back stabbing to who? Stealth to who? Do you mean they no longer participate in social gatherings where people resent them -- you have quite a bit yourself, Sweetie -- or do you mean that they don't carry placards announcing to the world that they are post-op transsexuals? Heck, I'm still pre-op at the moment, but I suppose you would consider me stealth since I choose to just live my life just being me, just another woman going about her business.

I won't ask you to apologize, because I sense one wouldn't be forthcoming, but how about softening your dark views on those who have made the difficult choices they have, often at great personal expense, both physically and emotionally?

[Susan Loves Life]

:eek::eek: WOW, golly gee, heavens abovbe, and etc., etc.

I had no idea what the reactions would be when I started this thread, looks like I stirred uip a nest of "something" - Gee, isn't it fun to express our opinions - but seriously, I must agree with GypsyKaren, I live my life as a transgender individual every day and I am not in stealth mode, nor will I probably ever be. I am just a girl who does her own thing and is being true to herself - don't paint us all with the same brush.
:eek::eek::tongueout

[Valeria]

I liked it it was really down to earth,transitioning is hard road to travel and that is what she is saying.If you think it is just bullshit...then you are a fake.because it is hard,unless you are one of the gold pocketed few.Any info someone prints is worth reading,you can agree...or disagree,it's your right.I have talked to many who trans-ed all the why,and most all say the T-world is a dark and back stabbing world.Thats why most of them go steath as soon as they can.:2c:
I transitioned "all the way" years ago. I actually am completely "stealth" in my daily life - which is to say that I get consistently gendered as female and I don't divulge details about my medical past to friends and coworkers - but I'm certainly not trying to avoid other trans women (a goodly number of whom are sweet and caring, in my experience).

She's an idiot, and what's worse, she's a bigoted one. She self contradicts herself constantly, asserting one thing emphatically as fact in one sentence, and then claiming something totally incompatible is fact in the next. She makes up bogus stats in several places. She makes absurd statements about hormones and surgeries and electrolysis that make me seriously question whether she's ever even *met* someone that took hormones or had facial surgery or went to an even vaguely competent electrologist. Either she's lying or painfully ignorant or just totally delusional. Take your pick.

She makes horribly destructive statements like:

You will eventually lose everything; that fact has been beaten to death. Understand it, accept it, it is the truth.

Hon, get the gun, put it to your head, and pull the trigger now. It’s over. You will not win this one.
It's simply not true. Here are some actual facts: We don't all become unemployable. We don't all lose our friends (though I grew away from mine). We don't all lose our lovers. We certainly don't all lose our families. In fact, not only do we not all lose our families, I know more than one trans female whose parents *paid* for them to have SRS. I also know more than one trans female who has married a loving man post-transition. I'm lesbian, so marriage isn't an option, but I've got a great family, complete with a wonderful life partner and a young daughter born post-transition.

Now let's see why she says your personal life and existing relationships are doomed to failure:

But as time goes by, your secret female life grows. While out, you meet others like you, and you are encouraged. And you begin having more sex behind her back. You are out, dressed in drag, going to bars, having sex, and acting like a woman, and your wife, who married a man, is home relaxing, reading a good book or watching a movie, patiently waiting for her "man" to come home from the gay bars. Right. This will have a happy ending.
Oh, I see. Well that makes sense. If you are low-life scum, cheating on your wife by dressing in drag and trolling gay bars (as she apparently did), then yes, it's going to end badly for you, and rightfully so.

Now let's look at how she views lesbians:

It is by far easier to pass as a lesbian than it is to pass as a genetically born woman. Most of us take on women or other transsexuals as partners. And when it comes to activism, the vast majority of them are lesbians, and most of the rest are bisexual. No need to worry about hair, just take what you have and toss it in a ponytail. No need to look femme, just hang out with other lesbians. And no need to cry aloud that you are a woman, just become a lesbian.
I'm sorry, but WTF? Lesbian women can't be "genetic women"? In fact, they aren't really women at all, just some form of lesser creatures? And passing as a lesbian woman is supposed to be easier than passing as a straight woman?!? Moron.

Oh, and then there are ignorant statements like this:

That’s right... most TS’s are lesbians. So, the penis may come in handy from time to time.
Yeah, that makes sense. Everyone knows lesbians are eager to have a penis used on them in sex. :rolleyes: Idiot. While I still had one, I never once participated in penetrative sex of any sort (but she clearly did, since she clearly functioned as a straight man pre-transition). It didn't work that way for me at all, because I've consciously identified as lesbian since I was a teenager. It also didn't work because I was dating lesbian women, and it turns out they often *don't* want to be screwed by a man. Go figure.

I could go on and on. She's majorly homophobic, so she makes oodles of ignorant and intolerant comments about lesbians, gays, and LGBT people in general. And she's majorly bitter, and her own transition was apparently hellish due to her making tons of mistakes (she admits she woke up one day and immediately went full-time with no advance preparation, which is pretty darn stupid). But why bother?

I'm an admin for a forum for younger transitioners that has hundreds of active members who are living full-time as their preferred gender, and we have a long thread with scores and scores of women mocking this diatribe as the stupidest, most ill-informed thing anyone has ever read. It really is quite funny, if you take it as satire -- but unfortunately, some people take it seriously, not as the ravings of a mentally disturbed xenophobic woman in desperate need of major therapy.