A Re-Introduction

[JiffyJ]

Hi,
I introduced myself on here some months ago after discovering this fantastic forum.
At that time it hadn't been long since I had come out to my SO and although things went better than I expected, she was / is unable to accept my need to crossdress.
I told her about this site and that I had signed on to it, but she didn't take it very well, I think because I didn't discuss it with her beforehand. She simply isn't interested in bringing this side of me into our lives.
When I first told her, we talked and talked about it, but I found it so hard to talk about with her because I knew she didn't like it and quite honestly I fudged a few of our conversations out of fear. As time has gone on, I've found it all but impossible to bring up anything do do with womens clothes.


I look at this site regularly and it helps to read the comments and questions that I see here.

[Lee Dee]

Hi Jiffy, sorry to hear that things have not been going well on the crossdressing front. As you've probably read on here many times though, three important threads come through; honesty, communication and time. You have been open and talked about things as best you can, perhaps time is now the key. Time for things to sink in and for your SO to try and come to terms with something quite major that she didn't know when you first met. What if the "shoe was on the other foot" in respect of something she hadn't told you, wouldn't it take time for you to think about possible consequences and the future, finding meaning with it all? Perhaps the 'time' bit will help, letting the dust settle and seeing where you both are with it? There is plenty of support here, you know that. Take care, Lee.

[Tina B.]

Jiffy J, sorry to here you SO didn't take it so well. Sometimes they do, some times they don't, you just never know where it will lead. but it sounds like you are still OK on the rest of things, so give her time, and if she never changes her mind, just remember, this is not something she bargained for when she got together with you. That does not made her a bad person, just one that has her own feelings about such things as a man and a womans role in a relationship, and some people can not get beyond that. If that turns out to be the case, you will have to decide just what you can live with and what you can't. But there are many on this site that have found a way to dress when they can find the time away from wife and kids, and never let them find out about it, and many that have wives that know, but prefer not to see or hear about it. You just have to find what level, she is comfortable with, and what restrictions you are comfortable with, and hope they are compatible.
Good luck with it!
Tina B.
But remember, at least you told her, and tried to be honest, so hold your head up high!
:rose2::rose2::rose2:

[Jaclyn NM]

Hi Jiffy, I'm Jaclyn, and find myself in a somewhat similar situation. I recently came out to my wife and she seemed fine with it. We even went out shopping together, and she bought me some thigh high stockings, and I helped her pick out some sexy shoes for her. But then after seeing me dressed, she has seemed to cool on the idea, and it has me perplexed, and troubled. I guess I might have gone too far, too fast, and so now I'm slowing things down, and trying to regroup, but I'm not giving up the fight (so to speak). I love my wife of 35 years, and would do anything for her, but now that I have opened up about my crossdressing, I plan on pursuing it for as long as it takes.

[Angie G]

Hi Jiffy sorry things aren't so good at home you do know your alway welcome here and can PM me if you wish hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Inachis]

You have done your best to be honest with your SO, but she is uncomfortable with that. Something that you need to remember is that people do not change, but hearts do. As time goes by she will think about your conversations. She may grow accustomed to the idea of you in woman's clothing, but then she may not. All you can do is hope that y'alls love can overcome this obstacle. If it does not then try again, and let that person know early. There is someone out there for everyone. I bet it will work out for you either way. This too shall pass.

[Jess_cd32]

Are you dating my SO on the side? just kidding lol, they sound so identical

[JiffyJ]

Thanks again everyone for your support.

She told me in no uncertain terms a while ago that there was 'no hope' of her ever allowing me to dress, well at least beyond undies and hose.
That was a fairly crushing moment and I became very down after that. But I could never blame or begrudge her the way she feels.
Like so many of us on here, I wasn't up front to begin with.
Do I wish I had have been? I'm not sure.
My life could be very different now if I had have been, but apart from the CDing I'm exactly where I want to be. I wouldn't change her for the world.
We have kids which may or may not have a bearing on her feelings towards it, although I suspect she'd feel the same if we had none.

My SO is my best friend, as she should be, but I can't talk to her about this. It can be terribly hard.