She doesn't want me to shave my chest...

[Inachis]

My wife has known for years now, and has generally been okay with it. However, I told her that I wanted to shave my chest just to see how it looks, and she did not like that idea. She says that she loves my chest hairs, there soft and fluffy, and she just cannot bear to part with them. I think my luck has finally run out, whatever am I to do?:doh:

[Annie D]

She may be hesitant to have you shave your chest because once you do so the skin will feel as soft as hers. Your wife may not be comfortable feeling a chest that feels like another woman. Additionally, shaving your chest puts you one step closer to femininzing yourself and she may not be comfortable with that. Take it slow and talk to her about her feelings about it, not your feelings. You may learn why she feels the way she does.

[Amy Hepker]

Ya, I went through that too. My Lady liked me to have chest hairs because she really liked running her hands over them. She got pretty mad when I shaved everything else though.

[_Cecilie_]

Same thig here, so I leave it, but I shave the top part so it doesn't show over my top. I can understand her ofcourse. I also try to only shave in the winter time.

[Charlena]

I too only shave the top part for the same reason

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

I can say for us divorced or single dressers that the ability to shave it all off is a blessing. I allows us to be as feminine as we can be. There should be equality in the relationship, many times women make unilateral decisions on how they look without consulting their SO's, us girls have the same right. Personally, I think you can shave your chest or anywhere whenever you want, it is your body, just do it.

It's funny people don't like change or the way things look after a change is made. They get so comfortable with the way it is, that when it changes they instantly don't like it. I suggest that you shave it off, don't tell her and when she see's it and most likely freaks a little, tell her you will keep it shaved for 2 weeks and if she still dislikes it after 2 weeks, you will let it grow back for her, but you need to tell her that you need to do this for you and if she loves you, she will allow the trial shave.

For me, the first time I shaved my chest, it looked odd, very different. But after a week I preferred the fell and look of my shaved chest. Do yourself a 2 week trial shave and I am pretty sure your wife or SO will let you keep it shaved. :battingeyelashes:

[Tina B.]

Well for my 2 cents worth, if you have a wife that is other wise supportive, I would just learn to live with a hairy chest, why upset your support system, and take a chance that she would then be justified in deciding she does not like this whole CD thing.
Given time, and talk maybe things could change, but as a married man, and wanting to stay one, sometimes compromise is necessary.
Tina B.

[jennCD]

Sounds very similar to my situation, except that she would prefer that I kept shaving my chest but was totally against me having bare legs. In my case, I'd prefer both areas hairless but that's not an option so something to deal with.... at least tho I know she's making an effort to work with my TGness as she took the family out today and said she was "giving me some time alone" to be me.

:)
jenn

[Mirani]

.. many times women make unilateral decisions on how they look without consulting their SO's, ......

and if she loves you, she will allow the trial shave.:

My experience is that women may make a unilateral decision - however it is almost always to enhance or reflect their innate femininity. It is NOT to change their presentation from female to male.

I hate such statements "If she loves you, she will...." sorry that's NOT a measure of love to allow a trial shave.

Could change it around .. "If you love her, you will negotiate a trial" ....

Selfish pursuit of personal goals is fine when you aren't in a relationship. However, in a relationship, in my view, it is about mutual giving and occasional compromise.

I would encourage discussion, negotiation and compromise. I wouldn't sacrifice a relationship on the altar of selfishness.

[Jo_so]

As a wife of CD, I dont quite understand this. She accepts your dressing? I am in early stages of dealing with this, yesterday I went with hubby to hairdresser, he had brows, toes and butt waxed. It is a beautiful butt, now a luscious butt. Have some fun and get her to remove the hair....

[Bernadina]

Some women just plain like the hair. My wife prefers it gone.

[Ze xx]

I like the chest hair, but I don't mind it shaved. It's the stubble in between that I have a problem with. My SO doesn't dress all the time, so he only shaves it off occasionally.

I would say keep talking to your wife.

Good luck xx

[dancinginthedark]

Since I am fairly sure there isn't a crossdresser here that can explain to a GG why you like to dress why expect her to explain why she likes chest hair? It is what it is.

All of life is a compromise. You like to cross dress and she likes chest hair. All things considered if the rest of your life together is good I think this one is a no brainer. I don't think your luck has run out. You've been blessed. Are you unable to see that?

Just my POV. As always take what you can use and let the rest go.

respectfully
dancin

[Sheila]

I can say for us divorced or single dressers that the ability to shave it all off is a blessing. I allows us to be as feminine as we can be. There should be equality in the relationship, many times women make unilateral decisions on how they look without consulting their SO's, us girls have the same right. Personally, I think you can shave your chest or anywhere whenever you want, it is your body, just do it.

It's funny people don't like change or the way things look after a change is made. They get so comfortable with the way it is, that when it changes they instantly don't like it. I suggest that you shave it off, don't tell her and when she see's it and most likely freaks a little, tell her you will keep it shaved for 2 weeks and if she still dislikes it after 2 weeks, you will let it grow back for her, but you need to tell her that you need to do this for you and if she loves you, she will allow the trial shave.


BAD, BAD idea.

If so far you have been blessed, why oww why are you trying to take it that step to far?

Can anybody explain, when you have a generally accepting partner, you just have to keep pushing the bounderies. Love is not a game of boundery pushing:doh:

[Tasha McIntyre]

I have an accepting wife which I am very appreciative, but she is not totally supportive. She accepts me wearing girly clothes but would be upset if I took it further by shaving, waxing etc. Communication is the key here as the boundaries can be a bit fuzzy sometimes. Work out what works for both of you.

As far as your luck running out Inachis, many girls here would cherish the support you get at home. You are indeed lucky :)

[Di]

Well for my 2 cents worth, if you have a wife that is other wise supportive, I would just learn to live with a hairy chest, why upset your support system, and take a chance that she would then be justified in deciding she does not like this whole CD thing.
Given time, and talk maybe things could change, but as a married man, and wanting to stay one, sometimes compromise is necessary.
Tina B.
Thanks Tina just what I wanted to say and you said even better:D
Compromise in a relationship is the way to go...I like all smooth ...your wive must really like your chest hair.....so cover it up or just shave the top...not a big deal.:D

[unclejoann]

I have shaved all over in the last couple of months and my wife is now repulsed by me physically. She is "embarassed for me".

I have since joining the forum really begun to feel comfortable expressing the femme side, but her comments today make me wish I could just shove it all in a box and forget about it. But like so many of us, it won't fit in one box.

I would suggest you don't bother to shave unless you get her blessing before hand, because it takes a long while before it comes back and every day is a reminder of the disappointment (for both of you).

[Jonianne]

........All of life is a compromise. You like to cross dress and she likes chest hair. All things considered if the rest of your life together is good I think this one is a no brainer. I don't think your luck has run out. You've been blessed........

I agree. My wife has been wonderfully supportive, taking me on my first outing 8 years ago and helping me ever since. She likes my hair on my chest, arms and legs, so this is our compromise. Of course my dressing out and about is in the fall and winter (long sleeves, skirts and tights), but thats our agreement and I love our happiness together.

I have been blessed.

[katia]

My wife has known for years now, and has generally been okay with it. However, I told her that I wanted to shave my chest just to see how it looks, and she did not like that idea. She says that she loves my chest hairs, there soft and fluffy, and she just cannot bear to part with them. I think my luck has finally run out, whatever am I to do?:doh:

I shaved my legs and chest about 3 weeks ago and it feels great, my wife hasn't noticed as she doesn't get that close anymore :o problem is I like it as my manboobs look nice with no hair and feel so smooth and I can see a cleavage :) but I am going on holiday in 3 weeks and unless the stubble (that hurt's when the rash appears) I now have grows a lot in 3 weeks I won't be able to take my t shirt off or wear shorts without raising suspicions ( but i want tanned legs and chest ),but you can bet as soon as I get back home I will buy some hair remover out and get rid of the hair again.:devil:

PS She doesn't like my hairy back and is quite happy to shave that,she did once ask me if i had shaved my legs but that was a couple of weeks after and hair was growing back so she checked and assumed i had trimmed it back a bit far.........but if she knew about my dressing and supported me i would only go as far as she agreed with.............

[Jilmac]

When I met my SO a year ago I had a fairly hairy chest. After I bought my first pair of breast forms I decided to shave my chest clean so I could glue the forms on. My SO was disappointed at the complete loss of her plaything, (my soft furry chest), so we agreed to a compromise. I now keep a well trimmed landing strip between by breasts that doesn't interfere with my forms. She's happy, and I can still maintain my femme look.

[serinalynn]

I have shaved my upper chest quite frequently and I don't think my wife cares if I shave or not she knows i like wearing a plunge bra and a low neckline top.

[suchacutie]

That's the real question. What does the marriage mean and how important is your wife? No one is perfect and we all don't think in the same way. That's why we talk, and that's why marriage requires such hard work.

Personnally, I am very interested about differences in thought patterns between the genders. I really want to understand how to think as a women would when dressed, and I want it to be natural and automatic.

My advice is to ask your wife why this is so important so that you can understand it and her. The more the two of you share these kinds of thoughts and the more she sees you are clearly interested in her opinions and thoughts, the more likely "experiments" like shaving this or that can happen. Tell her that you are really interested since you didn't see it as a big deal and she does. Make it clear that you want to know the emotion behind it...and then don't request it again. I would be surprised if one day she offers to shave you if you'll do something for her...just as a trial :)

just my :2c:

tina

[Kelsy]

My wife doesn't mind me shaving my legs, my privates, my chest and nipples my under arms, or my face! She will not stand for a shaved stomach:eek: I can't imagine why I would want a naked beer belly come to think of it. works for us!!! now breast implants are out of the question!!!

Kelsy

[KellyCD]

I personally don't have chest hair to begin with and my wife HATES chest hair anyway so that's not a problem for us.

But what I find funny is all the comments about compromise, they all involve you NOT getting what you want.

Which is,

shave my chest just to see how it looks

Because,

she loves my chest hairs, there soft and fluffy, and she just cannot bear to part with them

If she wanted to change her hair style/color/lenth/etc. to something that you could not "bear to part with" listen to how this sounds...


1: It's HER body and she can do what she wants to it or with it.

2: You should learn to "comprimise" and accept her because she is "more comfortable" with herself now.


You want to change something about YOUR body that she doesn't agree with. Now if she wanted to change something with her body and you didn't agree with it would she still do it?

If she,

Wanted to cut all her hair off?

Could you just say "No" and she would have to live with it? Doesn't anyone see something wrong here?


I apologize for saying stuff that might offend someone it's just I'm becoming very angry with everything involving relationships recently. Seeing this thread allowed me to vent about certain things. I'm not saying you should go ahead and purposely damage your relationship by shaving your chest, I'm just angry that something like shaving your own chest is damaging to a relationship.

[Inachis]

Thank you all for your ideas, and comments on this issue. We sat down and talked (this is becoming all to frequent of a scenario lately), and came to a compromise on this issue. I cannot shave my chest as she is not comfortable with this option. She said its just far too much of a change that she cannot deal with, probably ever. But, I can shave my legs, my bottom, my groin, my upper arms, and trim my lower arms. For some reason all of these are okay, just not the chest as it is symbolic of my manhood. I think it is a reasonable compromise.

As for coverage of the chest we are going out this morning to find tops that are chest hair friendly, Some kind of nude colored under armour t-shirt, and a choker collar that will hide the lines from this t-shirt. We'll se how it goes. Thank y'all once again for help on this matter.

[Melora]

Every time I bring it up with her.. She quotes (Be a Man)!!
Then I bring up her favorite 80s Hair Metal bands.. = Also Metalica!
Hehe on her!!! :) :) Hehe!
The leggs = I Dont know..
My arms are simple....
I Tarred the roof, I got some on my arm.. Couldent get it off.. Soo Off it went. When it grows in, Then.. I HATE the way it looks!
It Works!! ;)

[MsJoann]

My GF has been wanting to feel my chest hair again after 10 years of my being shaved. I refuse to let it grow back. It's my body afterall and I can do what I want with it.

[Tiffany Leigh]

Then dont. Love is ALL about her and not yourself. I going out on a limb here and probably going to hack a few off, but a major problems CD's have is overcoming the selfishness. I am on a re-marriage and learned from the past that love for another and love for self dont mix. Now 7 years into our relationship and letting her set the boundaries, we have a strong relationship that has 100 % respect for each other. In the process, she is opening up more and realizing the benefits of a best friend that she can trust and a lover that completes her, that also works on my side also. When I decided that my bride was #1 and not I, the happiness started flowing.

Love,


Tiffany

[Satrana]

So if like to see your SO in a skirt, is she willing to "compromise" and wear a skirt every day to keep you happy?

All this talk about love and selfishness is nonsense. If you love her then you will respect her wishes......so how come the same idea is not applied to her as well. If she loved you she would respect your wishes. You are being selfish by wanting to shave, she is being selfish for not wanting it shaved. This discussion just goes around in circles. Either both of you are selfish or neither are, make up your mind.

Not shaving your chest is not a compromise, it is giving in to her demands and does not represent a fair settlement. The only fair compromise is where the chest is shaved 6 months on and off or something similar.

And one last note - how does your SO know if she likes a shaved chest or not. If she is not willing to try with an open mind then she is doing you a disservice. If she is going to demand that the hair stays it should be after you have shaved for a while so she can get used to it and then let her tell you just how important the hair is and how the relationship will be damaged if it does not grow back.

[Inachis]

And one last note - how does your SO know if she likes a shaved chest or not.

I am comfortable in saying that she has been with other men before, even one's that have shaved their chest.

[Vickii*]

My girlfriend didn't want me to shave my armpits and I just went ahead and did it. Oh well!

[Kate Lynn]

no big worry,my wife don't want me to shave off my fur coat either,she just loves them that much,but she don't mind if I shave my legs.
Sometimes you have to give in to them,compromise is good....:)