Do It Now, Do Not Delay Because You Will Live To Regret It

[Jae]

Deleted By Jae

[Tracii G]

It would be nice to get professional make up and pics done.
How about some more pics?

[KarenSusan]

There's no way you can be called a toad, Jae.

[TGMarla]

Don't be so hard on yourself, Jae. We are what we are, and regrets have no positive impact on our lives. All of us here live somewhere on the transgendered bell curve. Some desperately want to be women. Others are comfortable as men, but like to dabble in femininity. My advice would be to soul search in order to come to better self-understanding. This is the way to a comfort level that works positively for us.

Jae, you may be 65, and only now exploring the feminine within you, but bag the regrets and live in the moment.

[Cristi]

I agree 100% with the message here.

I've been dressing since almost before I can remember, but never started going OUT until just a few years ago, when I was already in my 40s.

I look back now and see how MUCH fun I missed (and how much easier it would have been) in my teens and 20s. :( Looking back at photos of myself, I see now that I could have gone out en femme and passed with little or no effort, just a change in the way I brushed out my hair and a few dabs of makeup.

Heck, I look at one of the few photos that I DO have from that era of myself in a tartan skirt, tights and white blouse and I see a GIRL, not the 15 year old boy I was. I wish I'd seen that in myself then, I would have been out on the town every weekend!

So the message is DON'T WAIT. :)

[crystal99]

Not that easy, I tried to do it when i was 17, i grew my hair over the summer before college and planned to tell everybody (i thought at that time i must be gay - i didnt understand) but at college loads of girls showed me interest, and i liked that alot, so i thought i probably shouldn't dress full time as i then knew i wasn't gay (again, didnt understand that wanting to be a girl was different). So i shelved this dressing thing but it still popped up thoughout the years with spats of dressing, then purging clothes, then dressing again ...

Im now 27 and been toying with the full time idea again recently. Problem is i dont know if i could stand to hurt the others around me, i would probably have to run away (With palm out turned on forehead - bit dramatic but hey), also i have to work, with the public, and we all know how accepting they are.

Are any of you millionares who could give me enough to live on for the rest of my life? then i would xx (Pink fog decending!)

[tamarav]

Try to be kind to yourself, looking back and regretting life is simply not worth it. Many of us have made mistakes in life, or simply omissions, but we can't go back and change things.

Jump in with both feet, take a little nasty talk from others that don't like the fact that you are now doing what you want to do, and move forward.

Your old sis,

Tami

[crystal99]

Thanks for the support Tami, i know its a hard decision. I love my partner so much but this would end it, thats my main concern.

I also always wonder whether i look good enough and would pass. I have a photo on my profile if you want to pass judgement but the camera is crap (my excuse) x

[Nicole Erin]

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Look, it is like this - When someone first starts seriously exploring their femme side, it is very exciting. Each new purchase seems great, first time you pierce your ears, paint your nails, shave body hair, whatever.

At first it is all very exciting.

But as time goes on, these things, while fun, just aren't exciting anymore, it is just normal everyday life.

So regardless of age, this pink fog is strongest at the beginning. You should be enjoyig this right now.

So many older CDs wish they started earlier, but let's look at the advantages our older sisters have -
The beard is easier to hide, unlike the younger girls black facial hair. [mine]
Normally the kids are grown and gone, so not as much problems hiding it or "what if his/her peers find out?"
If you are retired or close, no need to worry about what your coworkers or boss will think if found out. AND plenty of time to enjoy YOUR life.

If you are alive to enjoy anything, enjoy it. Only when one is dead is it "too late".

Erin

[Megan70]

You are the PRETTIEST ugly toad (your words) I've ever seen. Really!
Megan

[Veronica27]

Hi Jae

Your photos are indeed lovely. I am 69, and have had the urge to dress fully and be out and about since the day I sneaked into my sisters room to try on one of her bras when I was about 12 years old. I didn't know what compelled me to do that at the time, and I certainly had no idea why I continued to fantacize and daydream about being all dressed up. My occasional limited attempts at crossdressing always resulted in feelings of guilt and shame and yet they would not go away. I guess to a large extent I was a product of the era I grew up in, when crossdressing was strictly taboo.

To make a very long story short, I have been dressing up at home, with my wife's understanding and cooperation for nearly twenty years now, but it still took a long time for either of us to accept the extent of my need to do more than just stay behind my closed windows and doors. About six years ago, my wife suggested that I dress up at Halloween to distribute the treats to the kids at the door. That took a lot of courage, and created quite a stir in the neighbourhood. (Everyone took it good naturedly and kidded me about it, and said I would have to do it the next year so they could see me.)

I did dress a couple of more times, but tried to make it more of a costume, so as not to give the impression that I did this all the time. Once I tried to look like a witch, and another time more like an angel.

Finally, I decided to just do it, and registered to attend a crossdressing event. I have attended twice now, and plan on attending one or two other events in the near future. I have never regretted that decision.

To bring this back to your point, it is very easy to regret what you did not do, when you have hindsight to guide you. However, in my case, I think it has been more of a frustration, rather than regret over what I did not accomplish. We cannot overlook the culture in which we were raised, and the difficulty we would have encountered had we made the decision to be more open in the past. Frustrating, yes, but I probably did the right thing.

What is more important now, is to be aware that times have changed, crossdressing is far more acceptable even if still misunderstood, and life is far too short to dwell on our regrets and frustrations over what might have been. We senior crossdressers have the opportunity to still salvage some of the excitement and thrill that comes from getting out there among other like minded people, regardless of what some narrow minded folks might think, as long as we do so safely.

If I had been able to do this when I was young, and probably more passable, then perhaps I might now be discouraged by my present toad like appearance, and my frustration over my "looks" might keep me from wanting to attend and enjoy all the crossdressing possibilities that are now available to us.

All the best

Veronica

[Veronica27]

To Erin

"Our older sisters have advantages too."

You are so right. I am 69, retired and the kids are grown with families of their own and living in another town.

Some other benefits you did not mention are:

Many older men appear to have little or no leg hair. Having shaved legs does not raise as many eyebrows when you are an old geezer as when you were younger and had those bushy hairy appendages.

Sadly, most women do not retain their youthful beauty as they age. Not many men do either, but the distinctions between male and female facial features are not as pronounced in the elderly as they are in the young.

Saying and doing as you please is somewhat of a right that is granted to the elderly but denied to the younger generations. The word cantakerous comes to mind. Eccentricies are often overlooked in seniors who are simply dismissed as old fools. Rather than being upset at this, I take advantage of it.

As I discussed in a prior post on this thread, I am only now starting to realize the full potential of my crossdressing, so the "pink fog" is still very alive.

All the best

Veronica

[Wendy Pul]

Hi Jae.............welcome !!

I just turned 65 but my spirit is still 35.....I've been c-dressing off and on for over 35 years....I've stopped myself from becoming the person I was meant to be for all these years so that I wouldn't lose friends and family....6 months ago after 2 divorces, two children, and 5 grandchildren I decided that I would regret it for the rest of my life, if I didn't screw up my courage and pursue becoming my true self...a woman...living that life full time...

Yes, I regret I didn't have the "balls" :) to do it sooner, but I truly loved my wives and children and was afraid of losing or hurting them, along with jepordizing my professional career and their financial support....but now I'm single and kids are grown and the time is right....

I too look in the mirror and see a toad....my gender therapist says I'm lucky to have a feminine shape face (like you have) and relax and change what I can and accept the rest...Right now the financial decision is between facial plastic surgery plus hair plugs versus SRS....
ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE..............(((Hugs)))).......Wendy

[Darlene Dippy]

Jae we all play the 'game' of looking back, with hindsight, and saying if only.

Live for the moment.

Maybe arriving where you are now 'late' will make the experience that much more valued.

The toad bit is sillyness can you tell the differance between an ugly and pretty one?:)

Darlene

[PamelaTX]

Look at it this way, hon. You could have waited until you were 85. You look beautiful to me!

[gennee]

Hi, Jae. I started dressing in 2005 at age fifty-six. I didn't know I had a gender issue but when it was revealed to me I embraced it after a period of denial. I haven't looked back since.

I'm 60 and dress every day. Being a late bloomer has its advantages. l see it as a time to discover new horizons about ourselves. Look at it as a journey.

Gennee

[Nicole Erin]

... when you are an old geezer...
:heehee:

Even tho, I am kinda glad I started when I did cause if I don't quit smoking my lungs away, I may not know what it is like to be "an old geezer". :heehee:

Well, if someone ages and becomes hard of hearing, they don't have to endure as much verbal abuse either.

[Jessicaparkson]

Thanks for the post Jae.

Well I guess at 18 I can be called "younger". Like some others I toyed with the idea of being gay but I just liked women! That was around 15...ahhh..hormones.

Anyways. I'm 18 now. I'd like to think I'm a bit wiser, or at least maybe not as stupid to rush into things without thinking them over. I am glad I decided to live this now, I'll just have the chance to experience so much.

Ugly toad? Nay,you jest! Nay,you slay me! Remember. Out of every "ugly toad" comes a beautiful princess :daydreaming:

[Jonianne]

Jae, I know how you feel, I've felt the same way many times. However I try to remember that it is life's experiences that have got us to where we are now. Yes, I so much regret the missed opportunities of the past, but we cannot change that. What we can do is to be thankful for our honesty with our selves now and go from here. I'm saying this as much to myself as you.

Also don't be so hard on yourself. I looked in your photo album and you look great - just like a woman - at age 65! You look a lot younger than that! Maybe someday I will find a professional makeover place to try to make myself look as nice as that.