Are you Gay?

[Mirani]

No, I am NOT asking you, dear reader if YOU are Gay - 'cos it doesn't matter a fig to me.

BUT - I am asked the question often and from recent threads on here it seems important to some.

My standard answer now is "Are you interested in a relationship with me?" They always say no (but I am ready for a 'yes' answer*) and I reply "Then my sexual preference has no relevance, does it?"

You see, I am not offended by being perceived as gay, as it is not an insult or a negative. And my sexuality is no-one else's business except mine (and my partner).

I don't go around asking other people (however they are dressed) their sexuality - why does someone think they can interrogate me about mine just because I am en femme?

* If they were to say 'yes' I would answer "thanks for the compliment, but I am already spoken for :)"

[tamarav]

My standard answer "no, but I am pretty damnned happy"

[Deborah Jane]

My answer...."No, but my boyfriend is" :D

[Ze xx]

I don't go around asking other people (however they are dressed) their sexuality - why does someone think they can interrogate me about mine just because I am en femme?

I have recently had to fill in housing forms as I'm in the process of moving into a council flat.

I was asked on the form my sexuality :Angry3:(non of your business) AND I was asked my gender (male, female, trans) :eek:

To be fair, the lady dealing with me was very embarrassed at having to ask, she said that she strongly felt that it was no ones business, but it was to do with prejudice, the same reason why they ask you your race on forms. Still think it's none of their damn business!

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Just love the stereotypical questions and thoughts from others. I have been asked that and my answer has always been, "why do you ask", are you gay?

[Mirani]

Just love the stereotypical questions and thoughts from others. I have been asked that and my answer has always been, "why do you ask", are you gay?

Luv it! Might borrow that one :daydreaming:

[Nicole Erin]

No one really asks if I am ghey, they just assume I think.

You know what? With my CD comtacts, I may or may not ask if they prefer men or women but even if they tell me, I usually forget their response cause it does not matter to me.

It is like "I don't remember if I asked but do you like men or women?"

See we CDs can get away with that cause we are cool and all.

[Jess_cd32]

My answer...."No, but my boyfriend is" :D

LMAO, your a pip Deb! (that's a compliment to your humor in the U.S.)

That's the first thing my SO asked with horror on her face the first time she saw me dressed fem, "are you gay!" I don't like the assumptions made that cd's are all gay or weird etc... just because we dress fem.

It's just lack of knowledge on their part and some total ignorance w/ others that can be crude in their remarks.
I'm not gay, I just love GG's (and have loved alot of them,lol), but I have a good understanding of everyone's basic sexuality and believe we are all born the way we are, everyone is unique and should be accepted for who they are.

I used to be homophobic years ago when younger and immature untill I got knowlegeable on the subject, now I have friends of all types and they make life interesting, and some are the best people you could know, most more so than my straight friends.

[Sarah...]

Am I gay? I would probably answer "I've no idea". Being married to my gorgeous and curvaceous wife, physically it seems I'm not. However thinking of who I am psychologically, perhaps I am.

Sexually hetero and gender gay?

Who knows? Who really cares, actually?!!!:heehee: I'm me, I love my wife, I love my sexuality, I love my gender, so I'm happy. That'll do!

Curiously, I'm wondering if there's something about how I'm telling people or how they perceive me 'cause no one I've told has yet asked what is supposed to be the standard question - "are you gay?".

Sarah...

[Jennifer Devine]

I'm bisexual but mostly go for women both real and transgendered

Jen xxxx

[Jessicaparkson]

I've been asked it a bit. Usually it's more like "Oh my #%^&$%#$! Are you a @$^#%$^&#$%% gay guy!?".

My answer: Depends on which way you look at it. (To answer the question you didn't ask. I'm not gay)

[Ze xx]

Before I found out that my SO was a cd, I was not aware of knowing anyone who was an M2F cder. (I have a friend who is an F2M trans, but don't know him well enough to talk to him about his sexual preferences)

My only idea of M2F cding was what was shown on tv and films. M2F are usually portrayed as gay men, often using their cding to entrap unwary males (think Priscilla, queen of the dessert) Tbh I assumed that it was an exclusively homosexual trait. I couldn't understand why a man would want to dress as a woman, but not become a woman with the surgery etc, and still want to be with a woman.

It is purely ignorance, but hopefully even in my ignorant state I was still happy to live and let live, I certainly wasn't intentionally rude when I did meet cder's. I was ignorant about it, so when I found out it affected me I set out to find out about it. If my SO wasn't a cder, or if I still didn't know, I would probably still assume that it was a homosexual activity.

And yes, one of the first questions I asked my SO was whether or not he was gay, and whether or not he still wanted to be with me.

What I know now is that the media view of cder's is biased. Usually in a story line it's used to show that the character either is gay or 'isn't quite right in the head'. I also know that that view is what made me panic when I discovered my SO's cding.

[Tracii G]

You know most of my life was the normal hetero sexual life style which is fine.I was dressed en femme at a party and actually met a guy sitting on the other end of the couch.
We talked and had lots in common he knew I was a guy but said I looked very nice as a woman.The more we talked the more we connected and became great friends.
We have been dating for maybe a year now and he is just a great guy to be with no hang ups or expectations and lets me be me.
I don't consider myself "GAY" so I guess "BI" is what I am. Funny thing I'm not attracted to men in general just that one(he is very handsome). I still like women,I enjoy looking like one too.
Main thing is don't get hung up on stereotypes or trying to fit everything into a box it just doesn't work.Its a big big world out there.

[docrobbysherry]

My only idea of M2F cding was what was shown on tv and films. M2F are usually portrayed as gay men, often using their cding to entrap unwary males (think Priscilla, queen of the dessert) Tbh I assumed that it was an exclusively homosexual trait. I couldn't understand why a man would want to dress as a woman, but not become a woman with the surgery etc, and still want to be with a woman.
If my SO wasn't a cder, or if I still didn't know, I would probably still assume that it was a homosexual activity.


This is EXACTLY what I thot up until just ONE YEAR AGO! AND, I had been dressing for nearly 9 years. At first, I thot I must be gay! Then, I thot I was the ONLY CD that wasn't! A year ago, I found this site and learned what CDs r really all about!:o

I get hit on constantly by guys on other CD sites. NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME IF I'M GAY! THEY JUST ASSUME I'LL BE INTERESTED IN THEM!
Even tho my profile says I'm straight!:sad:

EVERYONE assumes CDs r gay. As a closet CD, I could care less, but if I went out dressed often, THAT mite get real old!:doh:

[tricia_uktv]

I strongly believe we are all born bisexual and society moulds us one way or another. But then I may be wrong

[Ruth]

This topic comes around regularly. People who have had no direct contact with either gay men or MtF crossdressers tend to assume they represent two faces, if you like, of the same thing.
There is some overlap, but really not enough for any sensible, critical person to make this mistake.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Of Course I do NOT want to be thought of as "Gay". Gay people are often discriminated against and are often the targets of "gay Bashers".

I find that most people who ASK that question don't know what "Gay/Homosexual" even means. Even as adults, they still think its a guy who "wants to be a woman" or "Thinks he's a woman"---something they learned from a school friend in Junior high, years ago and never bothered to look up from an authorative source like a DICTIONARY or something. Oh, a few know about the guy on guy sex thing, but to them, thats just "something else gay people do"---and NOT the primary determinant---which it is.

It gets me angry, as I have little patience with which I consider ignorant and intellectually lazy people. I have nothing personally against Gays, only DOLTS who dont know what a gay is.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

To those who I want to know then I tell them I'm bi...but to those who ask and I have no reason or interest to let them know I simply say to them, "if you want to know that answer , "you've got to buy the book". Then they usually ask if I have written a book and I tell them I'm working on it and only have 300 pages done and that's just through my early 20's....so it will be a while before I finish....usually that ends it right there....

[serinalynn]

NO i'm not gay---- I just love women and what women wear.

[DemonicDaughter]

I recently discovered I'm bunnisexual... and I love it! :D

[suzy cool]

If you are dressed to attract men (in their view) then why the hell aren't you gay? Because otherwise it doesn't make sense. (to them). I mean, why the hell would anyone in their right mind dress as an attractive woman unless they were trying to attract a man.
It has a very credible logic....until you start to wonder about the straight guy who is attracted to women..that they are attracting. :eek:

[Kayla Shadows]

I get the same question."are you gay". No ."I dont believe you".Well,I know who I am so it doesnt matter.If you want something to believe,go to church.

The only thing I hate is "gays".As in when people say that.It has a racist tone like "whites","blacks".It makes it sound like someone isnt human anymore.

[Lisa Marie]

Nope not Gay here!

[LilSissyStevie]

My inclination it to just "admit" to being gay. Once, when I was incarcerated, I had a psychiatrist insist that I was, among other things, a "latent homosexual." That was back when it was still considered a mental disorder. I just said, "so?" I really didn't care what that guy thought even though at the time I thought he might be right. It turns out that I'm only attracted to genetic females, but I'm definitely not a normal heterosexual. The doc was actually on to something but he only had two different pigeonholes to put everyone into.

[Emma26]

Nobody considers me gay... I have a girlfriend... but then again I'm transgendered. Not very many people knew that though, and before I got my girlfriend I'm sure there were plenty of people who thought I was gay even though I never cross-dressed in public.

I guess I could still see somebody asking me it, because I'm not with her all of the time, unfortunately. XD

[Alex!]

I've never been asked if I'm gay. In any case, I'm not.

I've never been asked if I'm heterosexual either.

Seems impolite to ask either way.

[Jilmac]

I think it's a common misconception that anyone who enjoys wearing women's clothes must be gay. Some people can't even fathom a straight person having a desire to crossdress, but then they may be the same people who belive being gay is a chioce.

[MichelleGray502]

To answer your question NO I AM NOT GAY, I like females Just as much as I like being one, I have been asked that question many times over the years and like what has already been said on this thread. a lot of people are not very well educated on Trans comm and presummed all MTF girls are attracted to men and that is totally not true.

I have been happly married to my wife for 8 years now and wouldnt do anything to hurt her, But even if I was single I would be looking for a supported GG that would accept my fem side and let me be myself. That's me and everyone is different as the old saying goes "TO Each to there Own and thats the way it should be in this area and accept people on who they are and the way people live there lives is there own business and nobody elses..

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I'm not sure what I am. I've had bi experiences, but would'nt call myself gay, cause men dont necassarily do it for me on a whole. I love women for there beauty and femininty, more than a sexual thing. I have a huge respect level for women too. As soon as I find someone accepting for me, she is my special lady, thats what I'm looking for.....

[countrygirl]

For me I am a crossdresser and I am gay. When I am dressed, I still like guys. Sorry never was attracted to Females. I know it is kind of funny being a crossdresser and being gay. But I am. I am proud of it to. I have appected my self for who I am and I do not care what other people think.

[Christinedreamer]

I go into a few 50+ generic chat rooms and I have acknlowedged several times that I crossdress. I get tired of explaining the facts to neophytes but then sometimes when I do I end up converting (to some degree) a homophobe or at least reducing the ignorance level somewhat so it isnt always a bad thing. In addition some folks really like me to come in and give the conversation a new twist aside from "Hi-g'bye".

As far as answering the "R U gay?" question in person, I counter with "what color do you consider yourself?" If they say white or any other specific color, I respond with amazement as I have travelled all over this country and never met a white person, a black person or red or yellow etc. I HAVE met shades of brown, beige, salmon pink, etc. So after I let them mull that over, I usually have an slightly more open door to discuss how I view myself but at the same time I remind them (politely- usually) that unless they are attracted to me, it makes no difference.

I even get questionaires from some of my large corporate clients if I am a "woman-owned or other minority owned" establishment. This is on the same form with the requests for my tax ID number as a vendor of record on their supplier list. I fill in the appropriate information and just write NA everywhere else. Who I am or what I am is MY business especially on contracts, rental applications etc.

I have also asked a few folks who are against gay marriage if they are parents or exactly when will they be reproducing offspring to justify heterosexual marraige as that has been one major marriage definition marker for the homophobes. By their definition, you cannot marry unless you are capable AND planning on having children BORN to you.

If not, then whether or not I am gay may be of interest to you. But if you are a homophobe or TG phobe, be warned: I do not date outside my species.

[Sophia de la luz]

Not sure what I wear has much to do with sexual draw. It seems like dressing as a woman is an inside love affair of some kind. The female likes the male body, the male is allowing the female to express.
When I was at burning man I was acutely aware of my attraction to females.

[Niya W]

When I'm asked am I'm gay. I respond you mean Homosexual. When they say yes homosexual, I say yes I like women

[CD Susan]

I have only been asked this question one time in my life. It was when I told my exwife that I liked to cd. I told her no, but she could not comprehend how any male who wanted to wear the clothes of a female could not be anything else but gay. This just goes to show how ignorant the majority of society is about the subject of crossdressing. This a shame and it only proves that society needs to be educated about the issue of transgenderism and how this applies to cd's, tg's, ts's, gays, lesbians, and anyone else who does not conform to the structure that we are expected to be part of.

[Maibh]

I'm in the closet so deep the subject has never come up because of my CD.

If the subject comes up it is because I'm in my 50s and single. My explanation is the simple truth, I was married once, deeply in love, it was wonderful, she died of cancer. So far no one has interested me as much as she did.

I may try some of the lines here in the future, sounds like more fun.

[Sarah...]

When I'm asked am I'm gay. I respond you mean Homosexual. When they say yes homosexual, I say yes I like women

Good. So telling them you're a lesbian gives them little choice but to acknowledge your chosen gender. Any further discussion starts from that important point.


The doc was actually on to something but he only had two different pigeonholes to put everyone into.

And two different pigeonholes is never enough. He probably needs a hundred or so. This is the big issue for society in general. You've got to fit into either male or female. There is no other option. Well, it's actually not true and we're the proof!!

In general it's annoying that people feel they have the right to ask anyway. It's not usually part of everyday "normal" discussion. How often do you hear people asking new acquaintances if they're heterosexual?

Sarah...

[Jess_cd32]

..................And two different pigeonholes is never enough. He probably needs a hundred or so. This is the big issue for society in general. You've got to fit into either male or female. There is no other option. Well, it's actually not true and we're the proof!!.....................

Sarah...

Good points Sarah, these medical "proffesionals" as their called really have no idea why there are gays, bi's, straight etc... . I was amazed to read not that very long ago that they still considered anything out of the norm "mental illness" WTF, it really shows the ignorance of the psychiatry proffesion.

I've seen/ read enough now to believe we're all born the way we are, that being we're genetically wired so to speak and it's way beyond our comprehention and total understanding, as well as the med. proff. attemps to understand it all.

[Karen_Ski]

When I'm asked am I'm gay. I respond you mean Homosexual. When they say yes homosexual, I say yes I like women

I love a lot of the answers here but Niya you hit it on the head! Actually I respond the ezact opposite. I tell them no I am not gay I am a normal heterosexual woman who just loves men! :love: Some get it but most walk away more confused than before! :doh:

[Kimkandy]

I get a sense of deja vu here like I have answered this before... I'm attracted to women, so I would say no, but that would include Tgirls, transwomen, ********, gg's and if I was out enfemme in a club it could all depend on how drunk :drink: I was at the time...

Kim :dom: :Party2:

[darla_g]

No, I am NOT asking you, dear reader if YOU are Gay - 'cos it doesn't matter a fig to me.

BUT - I am asked the question often and from recent threads on here it seems important to some.

My standard answer now is "Are you interested in a relationship with me?" They always say no (but I am ready for a 'yes' answer*) and I reply "Then my sexual preference has no relevance, does it?"

You see, I am not offended by being perceived as gay, as it is not an insult or a negative. And my sexuality is no-one else's business except mine (and my partner).

I don't go around asking other people (however they are dressed) their sexuality - why does someone think they can interrogate me about mine just because I am en femme?

* If they were to say 'yes' I would answer "thanks for the compliment, but I am already spoken for :)"

i kind of liked the initial post here. well done!

[Anna the Dub]

Rather surprisingly, I have never been asked the question, despite the fact that everyone in my life knows I am ts and am trundling along on the road to transition. Although, a few years back when I told my former manager what was happening, she did ask me if I had a partner at the moment. She probably meant a male partner, I would say. I think that most of the people at work probably think I am attracted to men, but then, for me, that isn't being gay, that is being hetero. As for myself, I don't really know how I feel about it. When I am on the far side of SRS, I will explore that, as I would certainly not be interested in having a relationship whilst I still have that thing below.

[CharleneT]

My answer...."No, but my boyfriend is" :D


:lol: :iagree: :yt:


!!! that is a great answer !!!

Charlene

[Mirani]

Seems many only read the Thread Title and not the content.

I was not conducting a poll or asking anyone about their sexuality - but many seem to have taken the opportunity to state it anyway.

The point I was trying to make was really a "complaint" that people think it ok to ask about my sexuality .. and its none of their business!

Oh well .. back to the drawing board.

And please Ladies ... read the thread not just the title.
No need for anyone else to declare their sexual preference on this thread!

[Rachel Morley]

You see, I am not offended by being perceived as gay, as it is not an insult or a negative. And my sexuality is no-one else's business except mine (and my partner).
Absolutely. I assume that they might think that about me especially when I'm presenting in my "girly-boy mode" i.e. not fully en femme because a lot of people are ignorant about gender expression. However, I gotta be honest no one has ever asked me "are you gay?" however I'm presenting. I do agree with you though it is kinda rude to ask in the first place!

[Suzy Harrison]

Yes, It's true to say I'm pretty happy these days ........:heehee:

[Niya W]

I love a lot of the answers here but Niya you hit it on the head! Actually I respond the ezact opposite. I tell them no I am not gay I am a normal heterosexual woman who just loves men! :love: Some get it but most walk away more confused than before! :doh:

Actually that's the nice answer. When a guy would ask, I'd sty why are you looking to get bent over.
I mean would you walk up to a random strange and ask them are they gay ??

[angelfire]

My standard answer now is "Are you interested in a relationship with me?" They always say no (but I am ready for a 'yes' answer*) and I reply "Then my sexual preference has no relevance, does it?"

I think that is hands down the best response I've heard. :thumbsup:

I've been asked maybe 4 times. First time was at a party, some girl just came up to me and asked. I was actually kinda shocked she would even ask, but I was like "ummm....no." and she just walked away.

The second time I was talking to someone about something at a party, and one of the guys at the party was openly gay, and he said something, then thinking he may have offended me if I were, he asked if I were gay, then when I said no, he was like "That's cool, doesn't matter either way. To each their own."

Third time was when I told my parents I CD.

Fourth time was at a birthday party for a friend of a friend, and I had a lot to drink. One of the guys who was gay asked if I was gay, I said "No, but I'm bi curious" and he just asked why I hadn't tried it. I said I didn't know, and that was that.

[Vicki65]

No I'm not. I would consider myself as a bit oversexed for my age actually, but only attracted to women. I find women's bodies far more aesthetically pleasing, and in fact find mens bodies pretty ugly and dysfunctional actually (who on earth designed THOSE bits to be so exposed!!!)

However, I like having men's bits, because they work well for my sexuality :o



I just happen to really really like dressing in women's clothes. :heehee:

[Annie D]

I have been going out more and more and no, I have not been asked about my sexuality. I think that because I dress enfemme without a wig, that my presentation is gay. Although I do not talk in my male voice when dressed, I try to talk as "gently" as possible. I no longer venture out in fear when I go out and I try to be as normal as possible and talk to sales associates and cashiers just as if I was dressed in drab. In our conversations, I talk about my kids and my wife and try to let them know that other than the way I dress that I am a pretty normal person.

Many of you try to become females when you go out and for me, I just try to be as feminine as possible without being "sappy". Please don't be offended, I have finally found the way for me to be a comfortable as Annie as I can.

[Fab Karen]

RIGHT ON, GIRLFRIEND

[Vickii*]

Well, I don't think I'm gay. I'm attracted to girls and I have a girlfriend, and other than that, I don't get turned on by guys. The only thing that turns me on is thinking that I'm turning on a guy while I'm dressed in drag. So I guess that's kinda gay, but I don't think i would ever have sex with a boy. It just seems really strange to me. And thats the truth...I've learned a long time ago to be honest with myself, and when I lay it all out, that's how I feel.

[fluffy_kingston]

I am bisexual. I am attracted to men as well as women, but I have no desire to be a man with another man... I want to be female and assume the female sexual role. I don't believe that fits the classic definition of 'gay'.

[Bridged]

I am so embarrassed to admit that it was the first thing that crossed my mind when I began to discover my husbands cding. I hope that all of you will understand that when you are not submerged in this lovely world, it is easy to jump to conclusions. Of course I am much more educated, but that is because I had the need to become so. Maybe, one family at a time, we will slowly but surely chip away at that stereotype by teaching our children tolerance and acceptance. I know that I am trying here at my home!!!!!!

[BananaFish]

*thinks*

Yup, still likes women ^_^

[Vickii*]

nope im not gay, if anything i'm bisexual, but definitely more straight than gay.

[MJ]

would you like me to be :) . from a ts point of view i love woman so i guess thats yes

[Vickii*]

hahah, i posted in here twice, i must have forgot about this thread, d'oh

[Shnjavi]

Heh, a doctor asked me that question...it was a military regrutation exam. Translated to English it sounded something like this:"Drugs, cults, faggotry?" Which surprised me a bit. I really don't like when ppl ask me such private questions.

[Michelle42]

I've been thinking about my sexuality a lot, and I think this sums it up:

* I'm attracted to TGs.
* I'm mildly attracted to women.
* While I don't find men attractive per se, I'd like them to be attracted to me while I'm in drag.

[samantha78]

No I am not "Gay" but have a boyfriend on the side!!! and does he ever love me lol

[TxKimberly]

My standard answer "no, but I am pretty damnned happy"

As usual I like Tamra's answer!

[PrettyFlowingGown]

Considering I have'nt been with a woman for 3 years, and the last few times I've had sex has been with men, does sought of make me think, am I gay, but as I said before, men on a whole dont do anything for me, but its strange, when I go to the beach and I see great looking guys, it does turn me on, but its coming from a womans point of view. Its like me saying, "I'd love to do something with him while I'm in lady mode".
But the times I've been with men or a couple of CD friends, its been the greatest sex ever, and I've always had a permenant smile on my face afterwards.

[MJ]

For me I am a crossdresser and I am gay. When I am dressed, I still like guys. Sorry never was attracted to Females. I know it is kind of funny being a crossdresser and being gay. But I am. I am proud of it to. I have appected my self for who I am and I do not care what other people think.

??? blond moment your a gg







Yes, It's true to say I'm pretty happy these days ........:heehee:




say What :eek:

[joann426]

me to ill go along with kimberly i am happy with my self just the way i am

[Alice B]

Replying to Ze xx's post. To ask those questions in the U.S. is totally illegal and could get the asker and his/her company in a lot of trouble.

[Kimmie]

Am I gay? Nah

However I don't object to polite admiring men. The overly aggressive guys not so much. I think GG's feel the same way.

So by dressing like a women I become more confident, understanding of women and have had more success at attracting women while en drab.

[Elly E]

I'm human, and as a sexual and spiritual being I believe that all beings of the same general race should be able to explore love and attraction as they see fit.

I enjoy the company of both men and women.

[Ria]

Nope not gay... absolutely love the female look and feel. I also love looking like a guy.

[emmicd]

Most crossdressers are straight and married to women they love and have children who provide immense joy in their lives. The crossdressing is more part of their identity and has nothing to do with sexual issues.

I am straight and I love women because they are so perfect in every way and when I'm in the City in the spring time I just can't help but notice all the beautiful women. I am very shy but I can certainly appreciate beauty and women have it!

I also love feminine clothes.

I am also married to a woman I love and my son is my pride and joy!

I don't understand how people equate guys who wear dresses as being gay.

The very few people I know who are gay would never dream of wearing a dress.

Most guys who crossdress are real men who love women!

I also don't understand how most people also equate transsexuals with being gay. Transsexuals are individuals who are born in the wrong bodies sexually.
I feel for transsexuals and realize they struggle. It is quite sad!

emmi

[marny]

Why am I PAYING FOR YOU TO GET MARRIED LOSER!

[goofus]

Actually I don't get that question that often - some people just assume I am and others - well, I don't know, but when I do get the question it isn't offensive to me, I just see it as an opportunity to bust a myth (that all crossdressers must be gay) and to expand people's awareness of the diversity and complexity of the human race.
Not that there's anything wrong with being gay of course, but to assume that any guy that puts on a dress must automatically be gay is just ignorant...

[marny]

Duh!!! Not

[Maddie22]

I don't have a problem with people asking if I am gay because I'm a cd. In fact, I'm totally for them asking with out getting offended. Shouldn't we want to educate people about who we are, the we come from all walks of life, that some of us are gay, some not, some are bi, ect... This is a way to break down the barrierers and stereotypes. Even asking our fellow members wether they are or not should not be considered rude, but rather a way to connect and understand each other as well as ourselves.

[deja true]

Gosh! Finally!

becca's answer is the one I've been looking for through all these posts...

If we've chosen carefully among our friends those that we confide in, then the question of our sexuality is not an insulting intrusion. It is a question asked by people who love us in attempt to better understand us. If we think our friends would be okay with our being a CD, then we probably also think that they'd be okay with our being gay. So there's no insult in the question, eh?

If the question is asked in a defensive way, then the asker definitely needs the education. And that's our responsibility, if we want others to benefit.

Either way, I'm not insulted by the question. Like becca, I think it's a great opportunity.

[insearchofme]

I'm not gay, but I'm pretty happy!

[Sammy777]

The point I was trying to make was really a "complaint" that people think it ok to ask about my sexuality .. and its none of their business!

I have never been asked "The question" because of my CD'ing.
I guess that's because I'm still in the closet about it. BUT...

I agree with you 100% Mirani that strangers don't have the right to boldly ask you what your sexual orientation is or just go on the assumption that you are gay based solely on what you happen to be wearing.

Of course, unfortunately, it does seem to be the most asked question from friends/family when coming out as a CD'er.

I also think that sexual orientation in general should be something that is told to family/friends & should not be asked by them.

I'm straight & nothing about me, except maybe my long hair[?], would ever give you any inclination that I was gay & although I've never been outright asked if I was gay, I've had people think I was.

A long time family friend in a conversation once refer to my best friend as my partner.
After I corrected him, his follow up statement was
"Oh... so your... "not"... then?" Nope........ lol
No harm, no foul, & it never came up again the few times after that I've seen him.
I have wondered just how long he though that before he finally spoke up about it?

I have some other times that I'll save for a later date.

[Ashlee]

I'm straight up. I'm not gay. (but I am willing to learn.....yeah, would they send us someplace special?) (Stripes 1981)

[valenstein]

For me I am a crossdresser and I am gay. When I am dressed, I still like guys. Sorry never was attracted to Females. I know it is kind of funny being a crossdresser and being gay. But I am. I am proud of it to. I have appected my self for who I am and I do not care what other people think.

You should be! Nothing funny about it really. Not all women who dress like men are trying to attract other women.

I object highly to the phrase "real men", gay men are just as much real men as anyone else, lesbian women are as womanly as straight women.
As a kid, I thought Evel Knievel was one of those "real men", until I heard he beat on his wife, I don't know any "real men" who abuse their wives.

I have gay friends that always use the stalls at work, and I suspect they do it so some idiot won't make an issue about being in the restroom with a gay man. It's sad.

The fact that you can't kiss your loved one on the street without people getting pissy or to deny a person access to a dying loved one, it's a backwards little world.