Love Dressing up but still very attracted to woman.

[prene]

It seems I am a male who loves dressing as a female but wants to still be with a female.

I am confused.

Sometimes I feel I want to be female but I am not turned on by the male body.

????

I just love the look and feel of the female body on me.

[Jamie S.]

It's completely natural to feel confused. I think you'll find most CD's are heterosexual and in no way interested in sex with men. I am not attracted to men at all, but still dress. Everyone is different though, but if you're not attracted to men, then you're simply not attracted to men and should not be worried. Crossdressing and Heterosexuality are not mutually exclusive.

[nikki47]

Me too theres nothing wrong with you,you just love to dress and look as good as you can.I'm totally hetrosexual,but i just feel right getting dressed as a woman,from clothes to makeup,shoes and wig.Then i also love being a man,don't be confused just enjoy our gift.

Nikki

[prene]

I can spend hrs showering, cleaning my face, attaching my breast forms, corset, hose, shaving, makeup, hair, mascara, earrings, neckless, jewlery and I have just started to use womens perfume (female-fermones).

[Darlene Dippy]

Perhaps how you feel is contagious - because I've got just the same symptoms!:)

Darlene

[Mirani]

Easy to understand if you accept the premise:

Gender presentation is not connected to sexual preference.

How we prefer to dress and what we wear does not dictate who we desire to have sexual relationships with.

A SuperHero Macho Male presenatation doesnt mean "hetro" .. actually doesnt mean Gay either ... just means it how someone presents.

SuperCamp girly guy doesnt mean Gay .. or straight or bi ...

as for me ... spending 80% of my time en femme doesn't mean I dont like the way my bits work or that I would rather "be" a woman .. just means I like to present as feminine to the world.

So, relax and enjoy who you are.
Relax and enjoy your sexuality.

:)

[Jennifer Devine]

A lot of people have asked me why i don't fancy guys due to the fact that i dress like a woman and i always tell them that just because i choose to wear women's clothes doesn't automatically mean that i've suddenly turned off my feelings for women and that i'm going to get cozy with a man
That is the misconception that many people have and it is one that is never likely to go away.
They never once think that girls can be lesbians.
As far as i'm concerned, i'm a straight man who wants to become a lesbian woman.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Of COURSE. Liking the LOOK of a wonan's body is a Hetrosexual guy thing. Its a wonder more guys dont CD (perhaps more do than we think)

The BIG mystery is why SOME GAY guys CD, as they are interested sexually in MEN and "manly" things Apparently CDing for a Gay and a Hetro are based on different motivations and desires.

That assocoation with "Gay" and CD arises from school kid stories when we were told by a equally ignorant peer or an adult afraid to say too much that a "Homosexual" was a guy who thought he was (or wanted to be) a woman.

Somehow the true definition--a guy sexually attracted to other guys got lost--or at least relagated to "something else gays do" status in the minds of most people who never bothered to look up "homosexual" in a dictionary or other relyable source.---And kept beleiving the kid's definition even into adulthood.

[luvSophia]

I agree with Mirani. Just as driving a big 4 X 4 pickup truck doesn't raise my testosterone levels, neither does painting my toenails or wearing panties lower it. Those are just socially assigned indicators for gender that are often confused with biological sex.

[Mirani]

The BIG mystery is why SOME GAY guys CD.

Not a big mystery at all .. unless of course we stereotype.

If only we would see people as individuals with differring values / choices / options / desires / hopes / expectations / fantasies / circumstances / backgrounds / opportunities / responsibilities / etc, then we wouldn't keep giving people attributes that they don't give themselves.

[trisha11]

I also believe it is completely natural to have the feelings your having. What I know and what I have researched up to this point is that most crossdressers are heterosexual. For what ever reason we enjoy all the feminine things that woman do. This does not mean we have to like men, or want to be with men. Some of us do and most of us do not. I know when I get all dressed up as Trisha I do not want to be with a man, I do not find the male body attractive at all. Now the female body on the other hand, that is a different story. giggles.

The best advice I can give you is to enjoy your girly time, be who you are, and remember that just because you dress up as a female doesnt mean that you have to be attracted to men.
trisha

[Tasha McIntyre]

Perhaps how you feel is contagious - because I've got just the same symptoms!:)

Darlene

Wow, contagious it is. I feel exactly the same way.......luckily for my wife lol.

[deja true]

And what you may find is that it is not necessarily the female that you are attracted to, it's the feminine.

Hence the guilt of being attracted to trans women, despite the fact that you know that they may be or started out as biological males.

The attraction to the feminine is for me a big part of why I dress. It's not a desire to attract anybody, per se, but a desire to become closer to that which I admire...

(Much the way that non-athletically inclined couch potatoes emulate their sporting heroes by wearing their favorite player's jersey, maybe! To get closer to that which they know they cannot ever really be... )

[Angie G]

Your cool hun most of us have these feelings it's normal.:hugs:
Angie

[cindyscute]

Im heterosexual. Dressing up actually makes me feel closer to women. It's hard to explain, I guess I just want to be one of the girls and enjoy the fun things they get to do and wear.

[Farrah]

What you like to wear doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality. WOmen wear male clothes all the time, the still like men.

[Josey]

I'm with you all! Love dressing as a woman but not attracted to men.

[Myst]

I know a lot gay men, and crossdressing so totally not their thing!

I believe that it's more of a straight guy's thing to do. But of course, everybody's different and it really is just a personal preference. I never really understood why so many people automatically assume that all crossdressers are gay - not that it doens't happen, its just not as common.

[Sammy777]

They never once think that girls can be lesbians.

Too true.
I'm straight & may not fully understand the female side of me yet, but I do know that she's a lesbian.



(Much the way that non-athletically inclined couch potatoes emulate their sporting heroes by wearing their favorite player's jersey, maybe! To get closer to that which they know they cannot ever really be... )

Very good point Deja.


There are so many ying/yang hurdles such as this to find a comfort zone with.
I personally know where I sit with this one, see above, but still have a few more I need to find my happy place with.
So I guess all I'm saying is just take them as they come and you will find the answer you are looking for.
And being here and having a sounding board to discuss things like this is already a big help.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I'm attracted to women more for their beauty, and feminity. Its not really a sexual thing. Its more respect. I'm still looking for the right woman oneday to fully accept me, but I'm quite happy being who I am, and dressing alone, or with a lady friend up the road, but in no means are we together as partners.
I have found though in recent years that I've been attracted to some males. This maybe because my feminine side has grown stronger. I've had some flings with men, but I still prefer women though, but like I said, its more a envy-ness I have with women.

[docrobbysherry]

We r just doing what we r supposed to! And taking it up a notch or two!:heehee:

Personally, if I see any sign of a man, (Robert), when I'm dressing, it ruins the image for me! And is a big turn off! I guess I'm straight after all?:eek:

["Mary"]

Perhaps how you feel is contagious - because I've got just the same symptoms!:)

Darlene
How very clever! Me, too.

[Janet Bern]

I would suggest that about 80% of us on here are men that love dressing in ladies clothes and are not one bit attracted to males. Love dressing up and I love being with women.
Janet

[trisha59]

You are all absolutely correct. We love women and we love the clothes of women. One time I was sitting at a table with a gay couple a lesbian couple and me. Somehow we got talking about crossdressing and both gay men said they never had the urge to do that. I found that very interesting.
Trisha

[curse within]

And what you may find is that it is not necessarily the female that you are attracted to, it's the feminine.

Hence the guilt of being attracted to trans women, despite the fact that you know that they may be or started out as biological males.

The attraction to the feminine is for me a big part of why I dress. It's not a desire to attract anybody, per se, but a desire to become closer to that which I admire...

(Much the way that non-athletically inclined couch potatoes emulate their sporting heroes by wearing their favorite player's jersey, maybe! To get closer to that which they know they cannot ever really be... )

I totally agree with this statement very well put , Like seeing a white male wearing a Bush jersey he doesn't really want to be Bush or does he? Im thinking he admires him for his skills as I do women in the attraction I get from them. You see every CD has a certain style in which they dress, most love being exposed in lingerie because it is what they admire.

[Toni_Lynn]

In a message elsewhere around here I told of how I saw CDing as a what I'll say is a hyper-romantic love of women, a love that is so deep that it goes beyond the need for companionship, but a worship, a desire to emulate them. Okay, that's the 5 cent psychological stuff. The real deal is, hey, you're normal, so enjoy!

That said, though, obviously it doesn't explain why you have gay CDers too. But then, I can't explain why some people like yucky stuff like liver, even though I like haggis! :)

But - seriously, I'll put this to you, my wife adores my CDing. Does that means she's a lesbian? No! After I told her about my CDing, I told her that I was totally turned on by GGs wearing men's briefs and jockstraps - which she has agreed to during our 'fun' time. Does this mean I like guys? Not on your life! Has all of it lead to great pleasure for both of us. Most totally!

again -- all I can say is -- Enjoy!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Parse Leeve]

OK.. I think I'll be the first one on this post to state that when I dress and bring 'Claudia' to life, she does have feelings toward the opposite sex(men). I have never acted on them or anything but I do think about how fem it would feel to flirt with a male or accept a drink from him..etc..

However, I enjoy my hetro boy side who has a wonderful accepting girlfriend. It is only when I dress that I would get those 'other' feelings.

[DameErrant]

It seems I am a male who loves dressing as a female but wants to still be with a female.

I am confused.

Sometimes I feel I want to be female but I am not turned on by the male body.

????

I just love the look and feel of the female body on me.

As you can see from the earlier posts, you are far from alone in this. The way you describe yourself could almost be the definition of a heterosexual cross dresser. It certainly is for me.

[Deborah Jane]

Perhaps how you feel is contagious - because I've got just the same symptoms!:)

Darlene

Damn Darlene, i think you,ve started an epidemic :heehee:

[DeSkirt]

I also love to dress in women's clothing but have no interest in men. I'm not even curios. The fact that I feel this way makes it easy to understand why a women wouldn't be turned on by the sight of me dressed. I wish my wife was turned on by my dressing, but I understand why she isn't. This makes the dressing a private matter for me.

DeSkirt

[suchacutie]

Ok, genetically I'm a guy. I know all about guys and guy stuff. I love women (well, actually one woman, to be specific) and all that guy stuff is pretty...well...boring at best and disgusting at its worst.

Given that, I see it as totally consistent that I want to understand more of what it is to be a woman. I enjoy how women think and act (usually...there are exceptions). So, after spending all this time learning how to project a feminine persona, with all that it entails, my interest is still the female gender. Totally consistent :).

Also, let's not forget that this "hobby" as Karen puts it, is something I share completely with my wife, making us closer, giving us more time together, and giving us the focus to talk about how she thinks and acts, helping Tina do the same thing. I clearly understand her so much better since Tina appeared!

:)

tina

[valenstein]

I have no rules on this. I'm flattered if any gender flirts with me, whether I'm dressed more/all/male/female. If I see the beauty in someone, that's enough, but my heart belongs to only one.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

When alone I may fantazize about being with a man, what it would feel like. Being dressed increases my sexual desires to some degree but I wouldn't act on them. :battingeyelashes:

[Jilmac]

You're not alone with those feelings. I love to dress too. I love the way I look when I'm dressed. I love the way the clothes feel on my body. I could go on about all the great things I feel when I'm dressed but it's all been said before.

I was confused for many years but I have learned to accept the fact that I love women and have never been attracted to men sexually. Even though dressing enhances the feminine side of my life I have never had any desire to be a girl.

You are no different than a lot of the people on this forum. Many of us just love to dress for the pure pleasure of it but still love and cherish females as only men can. :2c:

[suzypier]

Hi Prene, me too I feel I want to be female but I am only turned on by the female body.

Love the look of the female body and feel like one when I wear dress and heels..

[ifeelsonaughty]

All these definitions are really making me even more confused.

[Lisa Catherine]

You sound just like me. I was in denial about being a crossdresser until the last few months, and I finally went out in public en femme for the first time at SCC!! After getting in touch with my femme persona, I enjoy being my male self like I never have before, and I have a lot more fun talking to and flirting with women as well when I'm en drab!! ( I get a thrill out of making them laugh when I'm talking to them!) :daydreaming: I used to regard myself as some kind of freak, but NO MORE, I now realize that there are many more out there like me!! It's a rare gift that not many have, I will continue to enjoy going out en femme, and the inner healing that I experienced at SCC is something I've never had before!! I love getting "dolled up" and going out with other TG friends, but I'm a 100% heterosexual male at the same time! Another couple of side effects: 1) It's given me a whole new appreciation when I see a woman with a freshly shaved pair of legs, and 2) I will never again get frustrated when a woman I'm dating needs "just a few more minutes" to get ready!:love:

[Rachel Morley]

Love Dressing up but still very attracted to woman- It seems I am a male who loves dressing as a female but wants to still be with a female.
Err ... of course ... why wouldn't you be? Sexual preference has very little to do with gender expression. Ok some people like the whole "bi when dressed thing" but please don't be confused, just be happy that you are very "normal" (whatever that means) :)

[vivianann]

I am also only attracted to women. I have no desire to be with a man.

[Petra1]

The attraction to the feminine is for me a big part of why I dress. It's not a desire to attract anybody, per se, but a desire to become closer to that which I admire...

(Much the way that non-athletically inclined couch potatoes emulate their sporting heroes by wearing their favorite player's jersey, maybe! To get closer to that which they know they cannot ever really be... )

This is probably the closest to why I dress. I love the female form, especially a certain part of the female form. So, I try to emulate that which I admire and adore.

[Monica Santos]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a woman and being with women. I love my wife, love sex, but love being a woman. :)

Monica

[jessica_jmt]

its amazing how different i can be when en-fem
not like i want to be with just men when I'm Jessica
I have just always loved the soft silky feel of a women
I've dreamed of being with men at times but i just think back that being brought up as a male there is so much i dislike about the way the majority of men act, look, feel, smell, sound.
i don't think i will ever be with just men,therefor i am a trans-lesbian

[Tracii G]

When I dress I do get closer to my feminine side whick I love but tend to be rather feminine in guy mode.Don't know why exactly.
I adore women for the most part and find them sexualy arousing.I flirt with lots of women in guy mode but don't flirt in a sexual way.
My SO is OK with me flirting with girls he dosen't feel threatened by it at all.I don't do it around him that would be wrong.As far as being attracted to men not really just Glenn for his personality and demeanor.He is very manly as far as looks but is hopelessly gay.
He is the first guy I had a relationship with in a Bi sense, no gay sex is my rule and we feel no need to engage in it.
He dosen't understand my need to feel my feminine side or to do the CD thing but has no problem with the whole idea.A very odd relationship but its seems to work.

[Billie Jean]

It seems I am a male who loves dressing as a female but wants to still be with a female.

I am confused.

Sometimes I feel I want to be female but I am not turned on by the male body.

????

I just love the look and feel of the female body on me.My ex dressed like a man most of the time and she still wanted to be with a male. Billie Jean

[Schatten Lupus]

I'm the same way. I find the thought of being with a guy to be a yucky thought. One thing to take into consideration though, the gender you identify with and the gender you are sexually attracted to are two completely different subjects.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I would suggest that about 80% of us on here are men that love dressing in ladies clothes and are not one bit attracted to males. Love dressing up and I love being with women.
Janet

I am one more in the bunch:)


Perhaps how you feel is contagious - because I've got just the same symptoms!:)

Darlene

Me too:) Not looking for a cure either!



All these definitions are really making me even more confused.

it will become clear with time and hanging out here.

[emmicd]

If you polled most crossdressers which I'm sure has been done many times here you would see that you are in the majority here. It is a well known fact that the majority of crossdressers are real men who fancy women. I am a very feminine crossdresser and I fall into the same category. I am a straight heterosexual male who loves women and fancies wearing pretty clothes.
I can't explain why crossdressing is looked upon as a bad thing. It makes me feel good and I am not threatening anyone if I wore a dress. It makes no sense why this is a hangup for so many. I believe crossdressers are real men who fancy women and also admire them and admire pretty clothes. There is nothing wrong with that in my book.

It takes a real man to wear a dress as I saw one of the girls use as a phrase.

It's true!

emmi
xoxo

[Marky]

Prene, your words describe me perfectly. Heterosexual but love pretending to be a women. I sometimes wake up in the morning wishing my forms have turned real. My confusion though is not so much about myself but about others. Almost everything nowadays is acceptable or at least tollerated. I don't understand why so many think so badly about CD's.

[RobinScott]

While I am attracted to and would rather be with women, I also admit that more often than not I also find my self wishing I could dress like her. I see a woman in a pretty dress or top, and I wonder if I could pull off the look (of sigh is depression that I can not :doh: )

Robin

[jking90]

i have zero attraction to the male body.

i have zero desire to be permanently female.

and yet i'm on this board.

[Lisa Catherine]

I'm in the same boat as you are. I LOVE and am sexually attracted to genetic women, but at the same time I see a pretty woman all "dolled up" in a pretty outfit and high heels, I wish I could wear her outfit in public and look as good as she does in it. I used to hate myself and consider myself a freak, but no more, since now I know that there are many others like me, and I'm NOT the deviant I used to consider myself to be, and since I've let my femme personality out in the sunlight, and loved and nurtured her, and life is SO much easier and much more fun!! Things that used to really "hack me off" now don't even phase me, and life is SO much more fun!! FIND your true inner self ( I truly hope you do, dear,) love and nurture her, find the inner connection and healing, and ENJOY life from there on, it's a great feeling and experience!! I hope you find the inner healing that I found at SCC!!:hugs::love::daydreaming:

[Norman]

i feel just like you, and i'd have to agree with jamie too, i'm obsessed with crossdressing but am extremely turned on by the female body, and would have to say that i also love the feel of my own body being female

[emma30]

I have a wife and children and i am very attracted to my wife but also i too love to dress up.I do also feel very feminine and girly when i'm dressed up and this does make me want to be in a womans role which gives me a sense of wanting to be sexually active with a man. I only fantasize about this but i can just switch from normal life to my time as a woman when the time is right.I love living both lives.

[marny]

HMMM!! get in line Hon!

[paulacd]

Contagious is the word for it - it must be an epidemic :D
I, too look at a gorgeous women dressed in beautiful clothes and wish I could look like her, but at the same time be with her (although I know there could be problems there - you know how funny us girls are about seeing somebody else in exactly the same clothing lol!
I'm totally addicted to women, but also want to look like them with the clothing & shape but have no desire in any way to alter my own body - I'm also totally happy with being a guy. The only drawback to being a guy is the stigma attached to it when you see one in womens clothes.
What a conundrum!

[sometimes_miss]

I like the diagram, Katie. Can I use that sometimes? Might help in the short term, at least until I get around to explaining everything else.

Prene, when I was a kid, I felt the very same way, just couldn't understand why. Took me years to figure it out, which stopped some other associated behaviors once I knew where it was all coming from.


posted by emmicd:
I can't explain why crossdressing is looked upon as a bad thing.
It goes back thousands of years, where males were depended on to be manly fighting machines, because each tribe's survival depended on it. Any feminine behavior could indicate a less than ruthless attitude, which could get fellow members of the tribe killed, say, should he allow an enemy to survive and perhaps kill him instead, then hurting others of the tribe. In contrast, a masculine female is no such threat, hence the low concern about females dressing as males. Sure, if a female acted more as a male, and wasn't as nurturing to her young, that single child may not survive; but if males abandon their 'manly' responsibilities on the front lines, it puts the whole tribe in jeopardy. It's not that we would do that; there are plenty of crossdressers who've served valiantly in the military. It's the FEAR that it might happen that makes it such a problem.

Claudia Sanz wrote: OK.. I think I'll be the first one on this post to state that when I dress and bring 'Claudia' to life, she does have feelings toward the opposite sex(men).
I initially got this feeling back when I was a child, when I would dress up and be a girl for my abuser. I really didn't like doing the sexual things with him, and I didn't like the way the male body smells, even when clean. But that initial feeling was one of the things that confused me so much when I was a kid. I later learned that the whole experience was linked psychologically to the only affection I ever received during my childhood. The dressing up, and anticipation of being played with, caressed, and held, the sexual behavior was all part of one 'event'. So, you could say that I 'wanted' to have sex with a guy, because I needed the affection I got from him, and no where else. Sure, even all those years that I was molested, I always had a crush on a little girl my own age, but of course an intimate, affectionately satisfying relationship doesn't usually exist between school age males and females, so an opposite sex fulfullment of those needs wasn't an option.

[BeckiB]

I am a hetro cd also. I love to dress up and feel pretty. I love to go out shopping with my wife and our friends but I have no desire to be with another man. I also like my male side. I find women very beautiful, sexy and intriguing. I like to be able to throw my leg over my dirt bike and go racing come home, take a show and be pretty the rest of the day. To me I live in the best of both genders.

Just because we are Cd's doesn't mean we have to chose one or the other. I think it is quite the opposite, we should not try to chose and just enjoy who we are! As for sexual attraction, if you are attracted to women then you are and the same goes if you prefer men but don't try to become attracted to men just so you can say that you are. It doesn't make you more female.