Clothes or gender [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

MonaSmith

05-29-2005, 04:42 AM

As they say "clothes do not make the man" or in this case woman. The clothes are secondary to me. I'm not into over frilly, extra girly things, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt are my current fave outfit, it's about how I feel. In boy's or girl's clothes I still feel like a girl. The only real difference is the wig and boobs that I wear when dressed, and the amount of make-up that I wear.

The question "do you cd to wear fem clothes or to be someone else ?" doesn't apply. I wear femme clothes to be myself, not someone else.

Love Mona xx.

(Could you imagine all the fat, hairy blokes of this world, walking aound in their floaty Summer dresses???? I'm almost glad that it ISN'T acceptable!!! ;) )

suzi_cd

05-29-2005, 04:46 AM

(Could you imagine all the fat, hairy blokes of this world, walking aound in their floaty Summer dresses???? I'm almost glad that it ISN'T acceptable!!! ;) )

Sounds like the Bounty kitchen towel adverts.

"have You tried it wet yet?" :eek:

Suzi

xx

CharleneCD

05-29-2005, 04:46 AM

Dressing for me is a way to release and express my feminine side. There is a difference in me when I am fully dressed. So in truth when I am dressed I am Charlene. When in drab I am Ed. I can see distinct differences in the personalities. As Charlene develops I think there will be a bit of Merging between the two but still each will have traits all their own.

Mia lynn

05-29-2005, 04:50 AM

Maddie

To me its all about being a girl. Even when dressed as a guy I still think of myself as being Mia. It would wonderful if we girls could be accepted for what we are.
hugs
Mia lynn

MonaSmith

05-29-2005, 04:58 AM

Sounds like the Bounty kitchen towel adverts.

"have You tried it wet yet?" :eek:

Suzi

xxOh god, yes!!! I think that I had blocked this out of my memory, good call Suzi.

I'm hoping that this thread won't turn into another "It's not fair, why can't we be accepted in society?" kind of thread. I have said it before and I'll keep saying it. We can't sit in our closets and moan that nobody is doing anything to help us be accepted, while we are doing nothing to help ourselves.

Love Mona xx.

suzi_cd

05-29-2005, 05:07 AM

Oh god, yes!!! I think that I had blocked this out of my memory, good call Suzi.
.

Sorry if I ruined your Sunday ;)

Suzi

xx

Maddie Knight

05-29-2005, 05:13 AM

Sounds like the Bounty kitchen towel adverts.

"have You tried it wet yet?" :eek:

Suzi

xx

I think those guys probable enjoy cd'ing, they keep making the adverts.

Amelia Moxon

05-29-2005, 05:14 AM

When I dress up it is about being a girl, I don't consider myself to be a man in a dress when I dress up, I consider myself to be a girl. I d wear feminine things when I’m in bloke mode though.

Mona, good to see there are more jeans and T-shirt girls out there, that too is my preferred mode of dress, nice jeans, cute top, coupled with a smart pair of heels, about 3" heel height, perfect for me.

Michelle xxx

MonaSmith

05-29-2005, 05:15 AM

Sorry if I ruined your Sunday ;)

Suzi

xxNah, that's okay, I'm about to go food shopping at the local supermarket, my Sunday was already ruined :D

Mona xx

Sharon

05-29-2005, 05:31 AM

If it were suddenly acceptable for men to wear feminine clothing in public, it would have absolutely no bearing on how I dress, although I would be less self-conscious and cautious when out in public.

I have to go along with Ms. Smith here -- I just feel more comfortable when I match my appearance with my mind. I only occasionally wear skirts or dresses, being perfectly content in jeans or shorts and a nice top. Make-up is a daily routine for me, but sometimes that simply means powder and light colored lipstick.

Lady Jayne

05-29-2005, 07:11 AM

Isn't it strange, we go on about the right to be accepted and dress however we like, but the truth is if it did become acceptable many of us would hate it.
Dressing for many of us is mearly a tool to enable us to feel and express our femininity, how much more difficult that would be if it became common place for men to wear frocks and makeup, perhaps what we should be pushing for is the right to be accepted/treated as female whether genetic or not!

Ibuki_Warpetal

05-29-2005, 07:14 AM

I would wear a kimono or be a China doll or something,
but I would still be me.

susanmaid

05-29-2005, 07:19 AM

I am just happy that I can dress to reflect my true self and proud to do so.

pantywearer208

05-29-2005, 08:19 AM

i wish it was acceptable for men to wear dresses and things in public for whatever reason. i have always liked the frillier items be it dresses,blouses,lingerie,etc. i do feel better in the frillier things as i like the softness against me. i don't wear the clothes because of any taboo and if was exceptable i would be out and about in the frilliest dress and accessories.

i agree with the statement that was made that clothes don't make the person. in some cases people dress to feel like and be a woman. in my case i love the clothes a lot better than mens and just wish that i could wear whatever i want like the women who wear mens clothes.

hope i didn't make anyone mad at me and i respect anyone choices of why they dress.

Rachel Morley

05-29-2005, 02:03 PM

I would love to be able to wear skirts and dresses in public as a feminized guy. Wearing girl's clothes makes me feel good. I have to agree that it is about "feeling femininity" or what we as guys perceive it's like to be feminine.

For me, the clothes help the girl come out, but I think the level of dressing that makes the girl come out, varies from person to person.

So to answer your question: "do you cd to wear fem clothes, or to be someone else ?" - I cd to be myself. Sometimes I feel more girly than other times and so I dress accordingly.

Angel

Anna

05-29-2005, 03:24 PM

i was trying to think of something very worthy and erudite which might succinctly express what i feel about this very subjective area...but whilst i was looking up big words in the dictionary Lady Jayne said it perfectly for me. Nice one Lady, ireally couldnt have put it better myself. :D x

jjjjohanne

05-29-2005, 04:50 PM

First, Maddie, I love your Avitar!

I dress for the clothes. If it was ok for me to be a man and wear the clothes, I would be free! I don't personally try to become a woman. I have tried to pass as a woman so I could wear the clothes in public, but it was about the clothes that made me pursue "womanliness."

I feel like I am probably the odd ball here!

CharleneCD

05-29-2005, 05:04 PM

Jjjjohanne,

Remember that as a group it doesnt matter why or how much we dress. We all just love to dress. No need to feel like an odd ball here.

Lindahexi

05-29-2005, 05:16 PM

If it was acceptale for men to wear dresses, skirts, makeup and feminine things, would you still use breastfoms and a different name or just be a guy in a dress?
For me I'd still dress as Maddie with breast and using a different name because its about not being a man. I'd probably wear dresses and stuff as a man but I don't think it would be the same as changing myself into a girl.

The question is, do you cd to wear fem clothes or to be someone else ?

Even if it was acceptable for men to wear skirts and makeup, it would make no difference to the way I feel. I want to be Linda, the clothes are part of the illusion that I have, but I need the whole package; the forms, the makeup,the wig. I need to feel and act like Linda, in fact most of the time I am Linda. I feel more relaxed and complete en femme and wouldn't be happy just feeling like a guy in a dress.

Wendy me

05-29-2005, 05:23 PM

for me i would say i think i would like to wear anything i want any time eather mode...
but my dressing goes beyond just jumping in some fem clouthing i think it comes from within me ...the way i think ..the way i feel...i realy enjoy my wendy time.. i had a thread abought crossdressing your mind ......for me i derss and thats to be wendy...a guy in a dress ....??? no we put "him" in the closet were "he" belongs.........see this ...
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6609

Akyra

05-29-2005, 06:02 PM

juz gimme yur shooez.....

can i buy a vowel??????

Melissa A.

05-29-2005, 06:18 PM

"Hi, my name's Melissa and I'm gender dysphoric."

All together now: "HI MELISSA!"

It's about BEING a girl. And feeling female. And I don't want a cure. I would no more wear a skirt when not being Melissa than I would go to my male-dominated job dressed. I love my male life, and am in that mode most of the time. But NEED to experience the half of me that is female in thought, spirit, and appearance(well, kind of, with alot of work!!) often. I share that part of me with those I choose to share it with, but hide it from no one. I wish Melissa could go shopping at the mall without being stared at and ridiculed, but that ain't the world we live in. I make the best of it.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

AbbyLee

05-29-2005, 06:24 PM

For me, it is a state of mind whatever I wear. I dress fem to be fem. If wearing fem was sanctioned, I would, depending on my feelings at the time,
be whichever I wanted.

AbbyLee

Kimberly

05-29-2005, 07:03 PM

jjjjohanne

05-30-2005, 06:29 AM

Jjjjohanne,

Remember that as a group it doesnt matter why or how much we dress. We all just love to dress. No need to feel like an odd ball here.

Well, thank you Charlene! I appreciate being made to feel more welcome. Odd that I would feel awkward in public and in the CD forum. I must say that your Avitar pic is a very pretty one. May I ask what brand are your hose?

Johanne

Melissa A.

05-30-2005, 12:10 PM

I just want to make clear, especially after reading jjjjohanne's post, that what I wrote applies to me, and I suspect a few others. I was giving my feelings, not preaching on what a crossdresser should be. If I gave anyone that impression, I am terribley sorry.

I love that within our community, we are a very diverse group. What works for me is no more right than what works for anyone else. The goal is to come here and feel welcome. Everyone here is, to me.

Hugs,

Melissa :)

Rachel_740

05-30-2005, 12:35 PM

(Could you imagine all the fat, hairy blokes of this world, walking aound in their floaty Summer dresses???? I'm almost glad that it ISN'T acceptable!!! ;) )

Mona,

I was driving a truck saturday morning, with all the bank holiday traffic. You say about all the fat, hairy blokes in dresses - there are as many fat (not necessarily hairy) women out there. Looking at the cars they're in I get the impression most of them are in 4*4's. Is that why there are so many 4*4's in the UK now - to carry the weight (the blokes in them are just as bad to)? It's not for the off-roading they do - the furthest off-road most of them go is off the tarmac and 20 feet to where the caravan is parked.

Anne

(Sorry if this is a bit sizist, it's just my observation)

Serena

05-31-2005, 02:35 PM

I don't dress as a woman just to wear the clothes. Serena is a part of me, like an alternate idenitity. I haven't really thought about if I would or wouldn't be Serena full time if it was acceptable though, but I can guarentee I'd do it alot more often.

MarieTS

06-13-2005, 07:48 PM

It's totally about being the REAL me--Marie. Being dressed gives me the oppportunity to be who I really am. Its not a clothes turn on: It's not a fetish. To me, the real drag is drab. Being in guy clothes and having to act the guy part is the part that feels odd. That's because the real me is then trapped in another world. But when dressed, Marie is able to flourish rather then be supressed. It gives her life.

MisterMissy

06-13-2005, 07:53 PM

I don't think I would make a very good girl without the clothes,
In fact, I'm not a good girl at all!

Mitzi

06-14-2005, 12:50 AM

Like jjjjohanne, for me CDing is all about the sensuousness of wearing the clothes. My mannerism changes to femme, just to match my appearance, not my being.

I just can't imagine getting enjoyment out of wearing, for example, a burka even tho that is very definitely a female thing. But then, were I living in that culture...

On the other hand, a CD wearing a Japanese bridal kimono with all the trimmings and traditional Japanese makeup is very sensuous for me, whereas a GG wearing the same accoutrements would be beautiful, but not sensuous.

So, for me it's definitely the clothes...and apparently a cultural thing.

Mitzi

Nikki A.

06-15-2005, 06:02 PM

I think that in some of or cases it starts out as an erotic/fetish act. Some of us stay at that level. In this case it is the clothes and not gender.
Some go all the way to SRS in that case it is gender, you feel that you are a woman and naturally you should dress like one.
Most of us are somewhere in the middle, what we feel is somewhat different to each of us.
I dress all the way to express that fem side that is a part of me, I have taken a long time to acknowledge this to myself. When dressed I would like to be treated as a lady. There are other times when I would be content being a man in a skirt or dress if I could and that was the mood (a little of both sides expressing themselves) that I was in.
Again there is virtually no time that I'm not wearing something fem under my drabs because that is what I feel like doing. I am a male with a fem side and I would not be really happy if either part was not there.
I don't know if what I said makes any sense to anyone else but me, but I haven't had a chance to rant in a long time and it felt good doing it. Now if I could get the kids out of the house at the same time I could vent a little and let NIKKI out to play.

Pip

06-15-2005, 06:18 PM

To me it's the clothes. This is kind of new to me and I am enjoying it because of the spark it put in my sex drive with my wife. At this point, I have no desire to go out dressed (mainly because I am 6'4" and definately male framed). I feel very sexy when dressing and doing make up (something I am having trouble with so far) and this is making my sex life with my wife very intimate and alive again, after being sleepy for a few years.

I have to admit that I am jealous of GG's in that I cannot appear as sexy in public as I feel at home but such is life. I'm just happy that my wife and I are having so much fun with this at home.

Pip

Stephanie Brooks

06-15-2005, 06:44 PM

I would probably wear whatever women are wearing.

There's an occasional Scottish function in this area (Alexandria, VA area). I'm 1/4 Scottish, so in theory I could wear a kilt and claim ancestry/heritage/whatever. It wouldn't feel right to me though unless I was wearing nylons and a slip, and that is NOT proper, at least for a man. Oh and a bra would be nice too. And a cami, if the slip was a half slip.

Genifer Teal

06-15-2005, 07:26 PM

This is not easy to answer. I am leaning more towards TG lately. Part of me wants to say it is not the clothes. But . . .

Last saturday Genifer was planing to go out to see an afternoon movie with and old GF. Because of some timing mishaps, there was no time for makeup. Genifer couldn't be ready in time to come. Instead, I wore girls jeans, sneakers, belt, and a pink T shirt that said Girl Talk on it. I tied the shirt in the back because it was very bulky. I kept the knot low. It was not my intent to show midriff - not that I mind, just not then.

Ok, You have a good picture of how I was dressed. After the movie my friend and I went for dinner outside near the water. It was very crowded there. I got quite a few looks for how I was dressed. I expected this and didn't mind at all. It made the day more interesting.

At one point we were waiting for some lounge chairs to become available to sit on. After hovering around a while waiting for someone to leave, these two guys asked if we wanted to take their chairs as they were getting up. It is kind of like fighting for a parking spot. Had they not done this we may not have gotten their chairs.

It was a very nice thing for them to do. I could not be sure, but looking at the two guys, they might have been gay. That begs the question, did they make the offer to me (there we many people waiting for these chairs) because they thought I might be gay also and they felt they were helping out a comrade? I'll never know but there is a storng possibility.

It was a great day and very nice to see my friend again. I really feel that my clothes said that I am not your average guy. I like that part of what clothes can do. It would have been even more fun to be Genifer, but this was an ok compromise. The clothes don't make me who I am. They do help create an image that draws attention and interest. For that reason, I'd say the clothes are important.

It is hard to say if gender is more important. I feel that gender it is very fluid. Sometimes I can be more girly and other times I'm not. I am always the same person regardless of how I act. While I have more fun being girly, I never really think of it in gender terms. I just act how I feel at that moment. It is possible that the clothes I wear can effect my actions. I act more girly in female clothes. If I had to pick a gender I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle leaning towards female.

I hope some of this makes sense.

Hugs - Genifer

JoAnnDallas

06-15-2005, 07:52 PM

It's not just the clothes for me. It's everything, the clothes, makeup, lipstick, wig, nail/toe polish, eye rings, heels, and etc. Today I added a hint of perfume and a purse I bought last night. I'm getting closer to a goal, where I will go and get gasoline en femme.

calliekat

06-15-2005, 08:30 PM

It's not just the clothes for me. It's everything, the clothes, makeup, lipstick, wig, nail/toe polish, eye rings, heels, and etc.

Since I am less then a month into crossdressing and in a position that I can't (won't) go out in full dress. I can't say too much in this topic. (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=146351#post146351)

But I do want to give my 2 cents worth. For me, it is the feeling of the dress and the feminine feeling. It isn't the name for me, but the feeling. If I were allowed to dress without re-precautions, I would dress all the time.

Alayna

06-16-2005, 01:32 AM

It is hard to say if gender is more important. I feel that gender it is very fluid. Sometimes I can be more girly and other times I'm not. I am always the same person regardless of how I act. While I have more fun being girly, I never really think of it in gender terms. I just act how I feel at that moment. It is possible that the clothes I wear can effect my actions. I act more girly in female clothes. If I had to pick a gender I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle leaning towards female.

I hope some of this makes sense.

Hugs - Genifer

I feel the same way:wave: Lately though I've taken to just dressing in bed - a down cycle if you will. It wasn't long ago that it felt weird to wear boxers out of the house! I was in some state of dress 24/7. But between these two extremes I never felt different about who I am.

I suppose if it were perfectly acceptable for men to wear women's clothes in public, whether they were trying to pass or not, I would do it only when I went all out, which would be an occasional thing. For me that means nails, make-up, hair, etc... That's not to say I pass, nor do I try to pass. In fact, I don't even like using the name "Alayna", it feels fake or dishonest or something - just not me I guess. I prefer what I show in my member pic - not a woman, but a feminine creature I suppose. Does that make sense?

Jerry

06-17-2005, 12:30 PM

I've been pondering this question for a few days and there are so many ways to approach it. Rather than go down that whole gender thing, I'll relate a little story.

When I was in high school and college I had very little access. I was away from home (Mom's stuff) and had roommates. This was also way before the internet gave us access to each other. I was stuck in my own head.

About the only thing I could do was look at the Sears catalog (there wasn't so much mail order stuff like today) or the flyers in the Sunday paper. I use to dream about how nice it would be to be in one of the dresses or skirts. And the shoes!

I thought wouldn't it be nice if clothes were color specific. The guys could wear blues, greens, and purples. Girls could wear the reds, pinks, and yellows. The black to grey to white colors would be for everyone. I'd think about a pretty pale blue skirt with a white shell. Or something.

But, as we all know. That wasn't good enough. I'd still want that pink sundress. Or the pretty yellow floral dress.

Nope, even if it was socially normal for boys to wear skirts, dresses, heels, and makeup, I'd still long for the girl in me to come out.

Hog hugs.
Jerry

Tristen Cox

06-17-2005, 01:07 PM

I prefer what I show in my member pic - not a woman, but a feminine creature I suppose. Does that make sense?
Hi Alayna, no:D But with each passing moment there's fresh hope :lol:

Maddie Knight

06-17-2005, 03:57 PM

.
It is hard to say if gender is more important. I feel that gender it is very fluid. Sometimes I can be more girly and other times I'm not. I am always the same person regardless of how I act. While I have more fun being girly, I never really think of it in gender terms. I just act how I feel at that moment. It is possible that the clothes I wear can effect my actions. I act more girly in female clothes. If I had to pick a gender I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle leaning towards female.

I hope some of this makes sense.

Hugs - Genifer

I think you have a good point here. Maybe there is no gender switch involved and we are somewhere in the middle, a third gender. Perhaps CD'ing is just a way of expressing our more femanine side.

JocelynG

06-17-2005, 04:29 PM

I would say that it is gender. I would still wear the breastforms until I had my own breasts and a wig until my male pattern baldness reversed and I could have my own hair long.But at the same time I am a classy woman and it's all about the clothes and the closest thing to pants I will wear is a nice pair of silky slacks

emmicd

07-12-2005, 10:38 PM

I crossdress because I love femme clothes!

I also consider myself transgendered without a need to transition. I do not have to be a girl 24/7 but I do need to dress as often as I possibly can.

I am a guy happily married with a young son. I need to be a good father and very supportive for my son.

I also need to be strong for my wife!

Your question is a good one. Though I am comfortable as a guy I do relish opportunities when I can dress!

I also feel if I were born female then I would be a very femme girl! I guess I would be a girly girl!

Emmi

Khriss

07-12-2005, 11:55 PM

I often relax, controle My breathing and ,,, become-the boots!? -hehe, --hey I'm not kidding!! (or is She-hmmm)

Rikki

07-13-2005, 01:00 AM

For me, it is the clothes. I wear a wig and padded bra and hips, but that is because I think that I try to immatate a womon, but if men could wear dress, I would still wear dresses, but I don't think that I would wear the padding. I would just be a man in a dress. I always wear a sheer night gown to bed and around the house and I don't put on make up nar forms and wig. I do dress th whole nine yards though at times and I can feel the change from male to a somewhat femminen person. So I don't know where I fit in there.

Rikki