Hetro CDs accepted in gay community? and... jobs for CDs. Advice?

[wino_tg_girl]

I'm thinking about being the real me more frequently, and making it a part of my real outside life.

My delima is, how does an out-CD find friendships, romance, employment, a life?

If I want to go out for the night or meet friends, can a straight CD go to gay clubs and fit in?

If you are an out straight CD, how have you lived life and built friendships and relationships?

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A bit more detail for those who don't mind reading a drawn-out story.

I'm a young-looking 35 year old with very little social life and very little in the career department.

I've let myself become pretty chubby over the past couple years, partyl due to depression, but subconsciously because it hides how masculine I looked a few years ago when I was in a lot better shape. I make a voluptuous chubby girl

I make about $32k/yr (which is adequate in my small city) and have done essentially the same technical job for 13 years. I'm debt-free and could live on as little as $25k. I'm good at my job, but it is a service that basically adds value to the product my company sells, and my company is slashing expenses right now. My job will likely be eliminated soon anyhow, even if I don't quit it voluntarily.

I love to crossdress. It is a part of who I am. I'm not very masculine, but masculine enough that I'm not passable.

I purged my supply about 6 months ago, but am seriously considering restocking and going at it full-bore. I want to have a full collection of daily undies, groom for femininity (hairless, fem brows, pierced ears, etc). In order to go that far, I need to be out. I can't be out doing what I do now.

I want to find employment where I can be out or even in-femme. I would be willing to waitress at a gay bar, or do services for people who accept CDs. I've considered working on my typing skills adn finding a clerical govt job. I've wondered what would be involved in getting a hairdressers license. All of these things are simply my imagination run wild.

Could you advise me on job-seeking for entry-level positions where a CD could be out without severe bias or risking job security?

I only have a couple years of college. Eventually, I'd like to go back and finish getting a degree. I just need to get out of my lonely rut and let myself come out, and find friends in the real world who truly accept me if I'm the real me.

Any life advice is welcome.

Hugs,

Stacy

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Interesting question and I see now one answered it...and I was hoping to see some comments so let me take a shot at this....

First I think you may have eliminated about 99% ofthe jobs out there....and that might be discouraging at first look, but afterall your only looking for one job...and I would think that there is a job out there that comes to mind....

If you got into the make up field I think would be the easiest way to go....Tammi is inot that and seems to be OK there....

However, it might be perhaps several jobs that can be done on a part time basis until you zero in on or build up to a decent business clientel etc....

I think say you get going in make up and work at the GG shop but also try and set up doing make up for CD'ers and TGs....and then maybe branch that out to clothing consultation for CD'ers etc....like TG North I think it is....

There seems to be a lack of places where CD'ers and TG's can go for beauty services etc...

Retail clothing eslpecially in boutiques type store that tend to be somewhat ecleptic is another place....Finally and this is an area where you might find the best results is in the Gay community which has it's own culture....

Anyway good lcuk and tell us how it goes....

[Jemanda]

Just a thought... but seeing as you are obviously intelligent, why not look at some sort of freelance graphics, writing or programming that will let you work from home. Or, learn to provide services to others like yourself. The problem is you havent really found the one talent that you are good at where people will not see what you are but rather what you do. Explore a whole new career is my advice, and then see how you can fit into it in your lifestyle, have you also looked into whether you have skills in the arts? you never know, you may just hit paydirt.

[Maria2004]

In this present, you can live the life style you have described, while at SCC I was floored when I went to the job fair and saw the number of major corporations that were there, GM was one of the sponsors and others I can recall, GE, CNN, HP, NY Life, Ernst and Young, IBM, Motorola, it was amazing, so you can be openly TG and employed, check out the web site of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC.org).

Since your single and free to do as you wish, your only barriers are self imposed IMO, and assuming that our Gay and Lesbian brothers and sisters will auto embrace you is false, even though we consider oursleves friends and allies, many don't understand us anymore then we understand oursleves for the most part:heehee:

Everything your looking for is out there.

Love:hugs:

[Raquel June]

The crowds are certainly different at different clubs, but you shouldn't have people giving you a hard time at most gay clubs. I've been to a few CD-friendly events and regular restaurants now and then with CDs, but most of the places I go en femme are gay clubs.

Maria had excellent advice. I don't know what I can add to that except to essentially question the validity of your entire fantasy of going "full-bore" with crossdressing.

You need to think very seriously about what you can handle and what will make you happy. You purged 6 months ago and now you're thinking of going full time femme? You have a technical job and you haven't been to a gay club but you're thinking of becoming a waitress or hairdresser?

You act as though this is an all-or-nothing thing and you need to be totally out to the world, but that's really not the case. You don't care about keeping your job anyway, so why not show up there in a skirt? At least get your ears pierced. What are you worried about?

Why do you think having no body hair, femme brows, and pierced ears is something you can't do without being out? Many of us do that, actually. Just go to the boy vs. girl pics thread and look at how many guys have pierced ears and nice eyebrows in femme mode and still look like normal guys.

I'm a software engineer at a very conservative defense contractor, and I hang out en femme at gay clubs on the weekend. It's really not a problem.

You're getting a lot of energy going here, but I doubt following through with these ideas would actually leave you fulfilled. Everybody has dreams, and a lot of them are unattainable, and when they are attained -- even after many years -- we often find that we don't feel like the complete person that we thought we would.

[sterling12]

I'll second Raquel. My experience is that you will get some tolerance at Gay Clubs, but don't expect a lot of friendliness. Yes, individuals will come up and talk, but you will also get a lot of "blank stares," and people looking not happy to see you.

There has been a big change in The Gay Community over the last twenty years, you won't see many effeminate guys. A lot of gay men now believe that their best strategy is to appear and act like other straight males. Things that smack of effeminacy are often abhorrent to them. As a CD you fit the mold for effeminate. Yes, they often have Drag Shows, but somehow performers get a lot more slack.

And, they know that most CD's aren't gay; people in The Clubs are usually playing The "Hit -On" Games. Unless you are openly inviting male mating game aggresion, I wouldn't worry about that type of attention either.

Peace and Love, Joanie