afraid of being juanita

[Juanita O]

Hi girls

I am afraid to be juanita because I don't know if i am fully accepting of myself or not. I still hear my father telling me that real men don't wear dresses.( I was caught when i was about 10yr old wearing my mothers skirt). When do i know that i have really accepted my self as Juanita. Juanita is a very big part of me but there is still some doubt. Help me.

[fluffy_kingston]

Your sig tells the real story. You don't have to feel guilty about it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately, a book that has not stood the test of scientific scrutiny is still used as a moral compass.

[Shelly Preston]

Juanita

It make take a long time before you accept who you are

Each person here has to find their own level be they CD ot TS

You will find yours :hugs:

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Juanita.
You,ve just got to let yourself be who you really feel you are, i,ve spent years fighting it and in all honesty it leads to nothing but self destruction and self loathing.

Just allow yourself to be your true self and only then can you be truly happy :)

[Schatten Lupus]

I myself have only recently 100% accepted who I am. And I can say, it's great not having to deal with the mental turmoil that comes along with denying yourself who you are.
Denial I found was just a long road filled with nothing but more denial. And if you do love being a girl, I would say for you denial is needless.
My own family would shun me if they found out I crossdress, but if they found out I am trans, and want to become a woman physically, they would disown me. But the liberation of my own self makes it worth the risks.

[Sandra Dunn]

So many people try and use the Bible to control so many things and that is where the base of just about all of the transphobia comes from. What most people don't realize is that there is a third gender mentioned in the Bible. Don't try and translate that gender with western methology and difinetion. You must look at the antiquety difinetion of what that thrid gender really is. When you see what makes up the thrid gender you soon realize that we are part of a very large gender group.
We and nor can science change who we are. When I accepted myself fully for who I am it made a huge difference. Anger issues went down to nearly zero, I make friends easier, I am happier and things seem to work out better for me now. We made an agreement that I could go full time as long as she got one night a week with me in butch mode.
One thing to remember it's all about attitude, the people you meet , make them feel like it's their pleasure to see you and that you graced them with a visual of your beauty.
HUGS Sandra

[Juanita O]

Hi Girls

I want to say thanks for the comments, very helpful.

[Nikki A.]

We all go through this, how and when you come to terms with yourself is a matter of time. This is a part of who we are and it is nothing to be ashamed of, this is the first step, to get over that you are doing something wrong. After that it gets easier to explore who you are and where do you want to take it.
It took me a long time to get over being "ashamed" untill I realized that there was nothing wrong as I was just letting me express my softer side. Alot has changed in the last year and I've done things that would have been inconcevable a few years back.
In other words, be yourself, and let things happen at their own pace.

[Angie G]

there is no doubt hun juanita is a real part of you. and your not doing wrong by dressing and it won't go away. So forget what your dad told you. It does take a real man to wear a dress. so put on a skirt and enjoy yourself.:hugs:
Angie

[DameErrant]

Hi girls

I am afraid to be juanita because I don't know if i am fully accepting of myself or not. I still hear my father telling me that real men don't wear dresses.( I was caught when i was about 10yr old wearing my mothers skirt). When do i know that i have really accepted my self as Juanita. Juanita is a very big part of me but there is still some doubt. Help me.

If you want to be happy and emotionally healthy, then you have to learn who you are and accept yourself. To own your feelings, as the popular psycho-babble expression says. Otherwise your life is based on false premises and will never lead to wholeness and happiness. It's not easy, but if you accept it as a process, and don't rush it, you can move towards your goal.:daydreaming:

I have finally come to accept Diane as more than just a part of me, but as an important expression of who I really am, just as much as my male side. My goal is to integrate all aspects of my self so that the difference between Diane and "Don" is a matter of the degree to which each is expressed in any situation, not simply depending on how I am dressed.:hugs:

As as to real men not wearing skirts, look to Sir William Wallace, (Braveheart,) Alba gae braugh!
:drink:

[mykhelee]

Juanita dear,

If it feels good, do it. The feelings of guilt brought about by the disapproval of those we love are very hard to shake. I have cd'd off and on for 22 years and just now feel comfortable enough to speak to my daughters of it. Go at YOUR pace. You'll be fine. :2c:

[Vieja]

Hi Juanita,

Like you I got caught by my father wearing my mother's slip and I was scolded unmercifully and ridiculed for several days after and even my sister got into the act. As a result I have been so careful that I never got caught again. In those days I didn't have a name but I never stopped dressing and never felt guilt. I even wore panties to school until I saw a group of boys ganging up on small boys like myself and taking their pants and running off with them. That would have been embarrassing enough without having been found to be wearing panties.

You should not be afraid to be Juanita just keep remembering you are one of a vast number of individuals who for one reason or another feel good about wearing women's clothing.

Vieja

[gwenola-lisa]

:love::love::love:accept yourself as we all do
i love to walk in the parisian streets, around Champs-Elysees-Opera-Louvre.
wearing trousers or skirt, with my heels on the sidewalks playing a tap dance.


gwenola-lisa-(France)

[DeeDeeB]

It is normal to want to live up to your father's expectations of you, and normal to be confused when your own desires prove different from those expectations. There does come a time, however, when you have to understand that even the best parents aren't always right, and much of what they tell you is opinion, not fact. So don't judge yourself in the eyes of others, but be true to yourself.

I've been fortunate in that my parents brought me up to be myself, and they never judged me harshly for differences of opinion. Because of that, it's been relatively easy for me to accept Dee as a real part of myself.

Dee :fairy1:

[Schatten Lupus]

Here are some of my favorite Nietzsche quotes:

"What is the seal of attained freedom? -No longer being ashamed in front of oneself."

"Call me whatever you like; I am who I must be."

"Once the decision has been made, close your ear even to the best counter argument: sign of a strong character. Thus an occasional will to stupidity."

And my favorite quote:

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

[vivianann]

I understand how you feel, I use to feel the same, but I have overcame the guilt trips that I was going through. I know it is easier said than done, we are here to help you. so feel free to ask for help.:hugs: Vivian

[femw/i]

I like Juanita have not fully accepted that I enjoy crossdressing. I feel that my appearence does not allow me to be free with who I am. I still care what others think of me. I realize that is not healthy. It only hurts me.

[Monica Santos]

Hi Juanita,

It sounds like you've been CDing for some time. It won't go away...those feelings of being Juanita. The more you struggle and deny those feelings about being Juanita, the longer it will take you to accept who you are. You'll need a clearer state of mind to accept Juanita. Just let nature take control.

Monica:2c:

[Jilmac]

It seems your father is uninformed, it takes more than a real man to wear a dress, it takes a real man with a set of brass balls.:heehee:

[Juanita O]

Hi Girls

I want to say thanks to all of you who commented about me being afraid of Juanita, it is nice to know that i am not the only one who has experienced this problem. I know that it will take me a while to accept myself as Juanita.

[DameErrant]

You will make it Juanita. After all Juanita is you, and you are not two people, but one person, just more complicated than most. :hugs:

[marny]

be yourself girl