Forced Fem and Humiliation?

[switcheralso]

I have never experienced or had a strong desire for humiliation but I have had a strong desire for forced fem. Really if my wife would force fem me I would be in heaven. That is such a strong desire. I was wondering what the difference really is from being forced fem and humiliation? What degree of separation is there between the two activities?:dom:

[Patti Remick]

Its an interesting topic.

Ive read that the entire thing about the 'forced' in forced fem(inization) is that its the minds way of alleviating all the GUILT that some CDrs have about CDing. If you are 'forced' that you dont have to take reponsibility for your actions (CDing).

Perhaps this is true, perhaps not - its just what Ive read. Im not trying to be judgmental.

Luv and Hugs,
Patti Remick

[mykhelee]

When I was a young CD 21 years of age a SO and myself rented a 3br house together. As she still went out to her mothers every couple of weeks I continued to dress and stashed my stuff in the attic.
One day when I came home from work she called me upstairs and all my finery was laid out on the bed. She was always a wee bit DOM and this opened things up.
Her son spent every other weekend away, so...
I was required to be clean shaven, and wore only feminine attire whenever the opportunity was there. I was her maid, cook, slave, and anything else she desired. During the next 2 years I acheived quite a wardrobe. We were also into bondage and light punishment, if the make up was not up to par, corset not tight enough, snagged hose, shoes not polished properly, if she wanted to spank, she would find a reason. I was always under femmed unless at work. As soon as I arrived home I would shower and my clothes would be laid out for me. Wore womens clothes out rarely.
There was no humiliation, the desire for that comes from low self esteem, the desire to perform it comes from arrogance. A little slap and tickle can be a fun thing. It is a loving experience.
We split up when she forced the line of acceptable practices to move.
Don't know if I could give myself up to anyone like that again.
I learned how to do make-up, do my own hair, and be stylish in my clothing choices. So I guess it was worth it.
Just remember that forced FEM can lead to more than you planned on, even if the ground rules are laid out.
Hope this helped some.:love:

[LilSissyStevie]

I was wondering what the difference really is from being forced fem and humiliation? What degree of separation is there between the two activities?:dom:

I would think that being "forced" to do anything should be just a little bit humiliating.

My wife is the dominant one in our relationship and I am submissive but it's not some cartoon porn mag Mistress/slave relationship. Our Femdom relationship originally evolved because my wife has a much stronger sex drive (my sex drive is merely normal although my sexual predilections are not) and it caused a lot of friction between us after the honeymoon wore off and I started being "too tired" and having "headaches." I was the "girl" in the relationship from the start.:heehee: The solution was for me to make a decision to always and joyfully submit to her needs. Of course, I already had tendencies and fantasies in that direction already. In return, although she's under no obligation, she makes it interesting for me. That includes forced feminization, humiliation, BDSM and etc. In fact, I only infrequently crossdress without her participation. She has a lot of fun with our arrangement because she's naturally dominant, but for me submission is more like a need. Interestingly, my libido has picked up quite a bit. I'm extremely fortunate to have found a soul-mate in her.

I don't feel any guilt about it and I don't have low self-esteem. I experienced guilt and self-loathing before I came to accept myself as a "sissy" submissive. Now I know who and what I am. I try not to psychoanalyze it too much but think of it as a kind of therapy. Through D/s I get to re-live much of my childhood trauma in a controlled, safe environment. The outcome of our play, no matter how harsh it might appear to an outside observer, is always incredibly satisfying to me. It's cathartic. Somehow, it takes the sting away from the past and allows me to accept and forgive. But, I would probably be this way even if I didn't have all that baggage. There's no way to know. I didn't consciously choose this life, but I do choose it now.

[janetcd2]

My wife, before she became sick, took me shoe shoping and had me try them on in public loved the humilation.

[fluffy_kingston]

... the 'forced' in forced fem(inization) is that its the minds way of alleviating all the GUILT that some CDrs have about CDing. If you are 'forced' that you dont have to take reponsibility for your actions (CDing).


Well said.

[loveslingerie in oc]

I've never experienced "forced fem" but think it would be exciting and allow myself to exhibit my submissivness regarding CD'ing. Maybe someday it will happen ... if i'm lucky. Frances

[Raquel June]

There was no humiliation, the desire for that comes from low self esteem, the desire to perform it comes from arrogance.

What? You're a total humiliation junkie!

You said you were into BDSM, punishment, forced fem, and that your SO was the dom. You said she bossed you around, required you to shave, laid out your clothes, and looked for reasons to spank you. You said she was strict about your feminine appearance and were her maid/cook/slave. You also said this was when you were 21, and I get this crazy feeling that she was significantly older than you and there were weird mommy issues involved.

So how can you possibly say there was no humiliation? Humiliation was at the heart of all your activities.

edit:

I didn't mean this to sound negative. It's just that you really can't separate forced feminization from humiliation. When you want someone to force you to do something (even though you're plenty willing), even if your motivation is simply that you want to dress femme but you feel guilty, then you're playing a little humiliation game. You're pretending you don't want to do it, and they're making you do it. A guy who truly doesn't want to wear a dress being forced to wear one is humiliating.

Actually, being forced to do things you don't want to do can be outright traumatizing, but at the very least it's humiliating.

I'm just saying it's a silly game of semantics to pretend it's not humiliation. I'm not saying it's a bad practice to get into. Nothing wrong with anything between consenting adults -- even if one of them is pretending to be non-consenting :)

[MarinaTwelve200]

I have "Exciting"fantasies about it, but judging from my almost automatic strongly negative responses in RL situations concerning family and friends attempting aspects of forced fem on me (trying to put lipstick on me, etc)over the years, I Think that is something that I really DO NOT want to happen.

Interesting on how our fantasies may not always conform to our real desires.

I think that this fact is extremely important in alledged TG/TS situations. I , for example would not REALLY want to become a real Woman, but I find it a GREAT fantasy.----Thats why I warn those who declare such a desire, you cant be really sure you are not dealing with some kind of SM fantasy, or a genuine desire untill you can see your REAL reaction to a RL situation--your own mind CAN AND WILL lie to you at times.

[angelfire]

Interesting how our fantasies may not always conform to our real desires.

I feel the same way. I love the concept of forced fem and humiliation and all of that, however in reality I don't think I could do it. I have a very strong sense of pride, and I do not have any desire to serve someone like that. Roleplaying it out every now and then I think I would like, but I wouldn't want to make any changes to my lifestyle as such.

[Toni_Lynn]

Hmmm ... the abuse that I suffered as teen over my crossdressing makes the thought of forced femme and humiliation fill me with revulsion. I just wanted to be, and I was humiliated over it. To this day I can't reconcile why I was abused for just being me. Sorry

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Jaquelyn]

My wife and I are into bdsm. She is my mistress. We are NOT 24/7 lifestyle, however, we do play as often as life allows, and belong to a lifestyle group, which we regularly particpate in. All that being said, I am NOT into forced fem; I like to dress, and get off on dressing not being "made" to dress. Although, I like dressing as a "maid" LOL. I do, however, enjoy humiliation, which comes in many forms, none of which have to do with dressing as a female. For example, my mistress may make fun of me in front of the group, sometimes in public, about my attitude, attire (male), or the dreaded penis size issue!!! Now, that may seem harsh, mean, horrible to most folks, but, within our femdom relationship, it is part of our "scene". Forced fem for some guys is the mother of all humilation tactics. Being forced to dress as a female is very humilating for them. I have a very good freind within the group, who is VERY masculine and he sometimes "swithces" or plays the sub role not the dominate role. When they switch, he loves to be forced feminized. It puts him in a very submissive place, which he enjoys. Jaquelyn and Stephanie are very good freinds, however, they are very different girls. Jaquelyn is open and bubbly. Stephanie is very quiet and reserved (because she is being humiated by being brought out) I hope that helps to explain some of the subtle differences and please, if you have any questions about the lifestyle, please feel free to ask. :heehee:

[LilSissyStevie]

Interesting on how our fantasies may not always conform to our real desires.


That's because of who is in control. In a fantasy about being dominated or anything else for that matter, you are in control of what is happening. In real life, you're not. In real life D/s you have to turn over complete control to someone that you trust absolutely. When I can find that "zone" it's a near religious experience.

[Raquel June]

I have "Exciting"fantasies about it, but judging from my almost automatic strongly negative responses in RL situations concerning family and friends attempting aspects of forced fem on me (trying to put lipstick on me, etc)over the years, I Think that is something that I really DO NOT want to happen.

Maybe you just haven't found the right person to put lipstick on you :)

[LilSissyStevie]

"Forced feminization" is an unfortunate term since, at least in my case, there is nothing "forced" about it. I willingly submit to it. Just "feminization" would be a better term. In fact, my desire to crossdress was re-awakened after several years dormancy when my wife got it in her mind to feminize me one day (just lipstick and panties). To be honest, I probably dropped a hint or two previously that I might enjoy something like that.

There was no turning back after that.:D

[Raquel June]

I suppose there are just varying degrees of how "forced" it really is in your little game.

For example, the OP is talking about barely-forced feminization where someone is trying to turn you into a girl without going all BDSM with it. That really doesn't have much of a humilation component to it.

[Kathy4ever]

Would love it, but my wife does not approve of my dressing. She caught me one morning and almost went balliistic. I wish she could be more free in her thinking.

[stevie b]

Good post. The thought of forced dressing from a sexual side is great, but I don't think will happen here although I dress most of the time at home.
But the other day when planning a week away in November my wife said it would be easier if I stayed dressed for the whole week:eek:
My heart was pumping like mad. I said `what take no male clothes`, `yep`, was the reply.
Now that is exciting. will keep you posted.
xx

[Electra]

Since I like being in feminine attire, forced feminization doesn't make sense for me personally and certainly it isn't humiliation for me. On the other hand, asked to put on maid's attire, which I would gladly do, but then made to work a whole day as maid would be a humiliation to me because I dislike those tasks.

[Toni_Lynn]

I wanted to post a follow up to my comments, principally because this topic elicts deep feelings. I do have to begin by stating that I do understand that such play can give a person quite a rush, and I say this because I know that what we as CDers do is very psychological. Hey, I get off on the whole psychological aspect of mixing up the genders. For me, while forced femme is icky because of past hurts, I do enjoy 'persuasive femme'. By that I mean, play that involves stuf like 'You need to wear a bra.' or 'You should only be wearing panties.' Nothing is done forced.

As far as humiliation goes, my main objection is because it links femininty with inferiority, sees it as something that is humiliating. Nothing about being feminine or girly is humiliating in my mind, regardless of what is between your legs!

To me the beauty of the love I share with my wife is based on total equality and a desire to give of one's self to the other.

Huggles

Toni-Lyn

[docrobbysherry]

often crave to become submissives in non threatening situations. Which is why professional women DOMS do so well. Lots of stressed execs, with heavy responsibilties, get relief when they submit to a DOM.

Forced fem MAY be a humiliation fantasy for some. But, they could just as easily have a fantasy of being forced into a cat suit, diapers, or animal mask!:heehee:

[susan2010]

I remember I had this incredibly complex fantasy when I was 8 or 9 that there was a whole network of people kidnapping young boys and forcing them to wear slips and petticoats because of course so many women secretly wanted to see boys all dressed up. How I prayed they would come for me!

[mykhelee]

I am in agreement with StevieC. I was not being forced to do anything I did not enjoy doing anyway. When able, I never wear drab.

Sometimes you feel like a nut.....we all sail to our own breezes.

[Raquel June]

As far as humiliation goes, my main objection is because it links femininty with inferiority, sees it as something that is humiliating. Nothing about being feminine or girly is humiliating in my mind, regardless of what is between your legs!

Humiliation doesn't have to come from a feeling of inferiority. It's more a feeling of being exposed, vulnerable or helpless.

For example, most people would be humiliated if they were forced to be naked in public. That sense of humiliation does not imply that people think nudists are inferior.

[angelfire]

Humiliation doesn't have to come from a feeling of inferiority. It's more a feeling of being exposed, vulnerable or helpless.

For example, most people would be humiliated if they were forced to be naked in public. That sense of humiliation does not imply that people think nudists are inferior.

Very good point Racquel, and I agree.

Although there is definitely a difference between craving humiliation vs. public humiliation. I may like it in private, but if exposed to the world would be a different story.

Also, it is not that I view women as inferior which is why it is humiliating, it is partially because I have such a strong sense of masculinity, that giving that up is humiliating.

[LindaCD63yoNJ]

Forced fem, humiliation are examples of the mental facets of being a cd. I have found through my many years of cd that the mental aspects play an increasingly important role, perhaps even more than the physical. I think that is one of the reasons I like role olay so much.

[Miss Tessa]

The line between the two is drawn when somebody is being abused in some way and one partner becomes uncomfortable. That's my definition of being humiliated. When somebody is demeaning you.

I don't like forced femme or humiliation. I'm into a little bit of bondage, but not S&M or any fetish stuff really.

I think forced femme and that kind of stuff gives CDin' and TG people a bad rep because normal folks associate all those things.

Heck, most people don't know the difference between a Drag Queen, a transsexual, or a intersexed person.

[MsJanessa]

I'm pretty sure it is part of the same continuum--in any event I'm the Lady who will do both to you.:dom:

[paulaN]

In my case it would be hard to force the willing. The hole idea of forced fem is welcomed in my book. I can not explain why, I just now that I am ready.

[Laurie A]

often crave to become submissives in non threatening situations. Which is why professional women DOMS do so well. Lots of stressed execs, with heavy responsibilties, get relief when they submit to a DOM.

Forced fem MAY be a humiliation fantasy for some. But, they could just as easily have a fantasy of being forced into a cat suit, diapers, or animal mask!:heehee:

For me there, the attraction to forced feminization is not so much the desire to be humiliated, but rather feeling that my dom/wife is the instigator for my CD'ing. When I am the sub I am relieved from making any decisions. To me this is a big time stress relief, because it also gives me a pass on my feelings of guilt about being a CD. I guess what I'm saying is that I want the guilt to go away, but I'm not looking to be humiliated or demeaned.
FWIW I'm ok with cat suits or diapers, but animal masks?:o

[Raquel June]

FWIW I'm ok with cat suits or diapers, but animal masks?:o

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom#Sexual_aspects

It's probably a lot more widespread than diaper fetishes, actually.

There's interesting math regarding furries. Furry conventions are over 90% males. Furries claim to be over 50% totally straight. But 76% have had a relationship with a furry. Maybe it's just that the girl furries get a ton of action. :heehee:

[Laurie A]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom#Sexual_aspects

It's probably a lot more widespread than diaper fetishes, actually.

There's interesting math regarding furries. Furry conventions are over 90% males. Furries claim to be over 50% totally straight. But 76% have had a relationship with a furry. Maybe it's just that the girl furries get a ton of action. :heehee:

Wow! I must be living in a cave! This is all new to me! I learned two new words to add to my vocabulary, "yiff" and "plushophilia"! Do furries CD? If they do, they CD under the costume or over the costume? Thanks for the link

[Raquel June]

I dunno ... but I think most of those furry conventions are combined with anime conventions, and anime conventions tend to have a lot of crossdressing cosplay going on. If ya wanna look into it, there are some multi-million-member forums for anime/cosplay/furry stuff...

[DeSkirt]

Origanally posted by dela
For me there, the attraction to forced feminization is not so much the desire to be humiliated, but rather feeling that my dom/wife is the instigator for my CD'ing. When I am the sub I am relieved from making any decisions. To me this is a big time stress relief, because it also gives me a pass on my feelings of guilt about being a CD. I guess what I'm saying is that I want the guilt to go away, but I'm not looking to be humiliated or demeaned.

I feel the same way. I would like to have my wife want me to CD even if it meant doing something to or for her that she wanted, like being the maid or rubbing her feet at the end of the day. I guess I am looking for a way that my CDing would be a welcome part of our relationship, not a favor.

[Laurie A]

I feel the same way. I would like to have my wife want me to CD even if it meant doing something to or for her that she wanted, like being the maid or rubbing her feet at the end of the day. I guess I am looking for a way that my CDing would be a welcome part of our relationship, not a favor.

IMHO, being the maid or rubbing her feet would an easy trade off having a SO who welcomes your CDing. You make an interesting observation, and made me wonder how many SO's tolerate CDing as a "favor" versus how many embrace (or enjoy?) CDing as a significant aspect of the relationship. I'm not trying to highjack this thread, because I think humiliation as part of a D/S relationship can be based on the Dom's dislike for the behavior they are belittling.

[Laura_Stephens]

Forced fem and humiliation are not the same thing.

I have been "forced" into wearing women's clothing by a professional lady and it was not humiliating.

I have also been forced into other activities after donning women's clothing (such as licking her body AFTER the highlight of the afternoon) and I considered that to be humiliating since she laughed at me while doing it.

[femw/i]

I always had a fantasy about being forced fem.
I would enjoy giving up control, I think it is my nature to be submissive.
Although I don't enjoy abuses humiliation in a nasty way.
It may happen way I lest expected, hopefully?

[voyagernails]

I don't think that it is so much the factor of being humiliated, rather just the threat, whether real or perceived, of being "forced" to do feminine things. The fantasy of being taken to a salon, being told to sit in a chair, and having my hair, nails and makeup done to my S/O's directions and whims is the ultimate turn on for me. Just clean fun. Now if I can just convince the S/O to do it. She has taken me for pedicures, but never asked for color to be applied, that only happens at home.:sad:

[sometimes_miss]

Ever since I learned about guilt causing the 'forced' part, the very vast majority of my fantasies involve a woman 'sympathetically' understanding everything I've gone through and dressing me up because she loves me and wants to help me. And I think to myself as I type this, yeah, right, like that's going to happen any time soon. Which is why it's such a nice fantasy, right?

[Laurie A]

Ever since I learned about guilt causing the 'forced' part, the very vast majority of my fantasies involve a woman 'sympathetically' understanding everything I've gone through and dressing me up because she loves me and wants to help me. And I think to myself as I type this, yeah, right, like that's going to happen any time soon. Which is why it's such a nice fantasy, right?

So, to paraphrase, you would enjoy being "sympathetically forced" to CD? That is a nice fantasy! The trick would be to convince SO's and wives to participate.

[Randee]

I think the attraction of the "forced" part is having the control taken from you an put into someone elses hands to dress me in feminine clothes. This relieves one from the guilt about dressing in feminine clothing.

Here's an idea you can try an understanding girlfriend and I used to do. When we had time to do this, by agreement, she would call and tell me to 'be ready'. She was specific, but it usually meant I was to be shaved hairless which was exciting. She would arrive at my place and, after inspecting me, deliver me what I was to wear. Usually it was one of her leotard and tights outfits since they stretched to fit me very revealingly, and she had a number of interesting styles and colors. I put them on and then got into her car and she drove me over to her place to spend the evening and sometimes overnight. That meant I had no clothes of my own and no male clothes available to me at all. So that was as far as the forced part goes. Since she was very accepting of my desire to dress with her like this, there was no humiliation except when her friends dropped by. Then she decided whether I would be seen or if she would lock me away in hiding or in her back yard. My car was not at her place since she had driven me. So no one would suspect that I was even there.

Sometimes we played a little dressup putting me in her costumes and swimsuits and pantyhose. But most of the time it was just come cozy time being together with me feeling a little captive because I had nothing to wear besides what she had dressed me in. And she would decide when I could be returned home still in her outfit. It was good fun. Try it With a few adaptations this can fit a lot of our situations.

[tanya1976]

Having tried being forced to dress, didn't work I was far too eager(!), and humiliation games with my girlfriend, what I found was that what I really enjoyed was the submissive aspect such role playing involved. This is really just a natural extension of the submissive tendencies I express when dressed anyway, and a role I much prefer to the usual dominant one placed upon me by society...

[caressa]

Then there's the aspects of CD-partner's switching-roles, which removes the menacing depth of certain humiliations, making them easier to compartmentalize.

[Jennifer N.]

I don't think that it is so much the factor of being humiliated, rather just the threat, whether real or perceived, of being "forced" to do feminine things. The fantasy of being taken to a salon, being told to sit in a chair, and having my hair, nails and makeup done to my S/O's directions and whims is the ultimate turn on for me. Just clean fun. Now if I can just convince the S/O to do it. She has taken me for pedicures, but never asked for color to be applied, that only happens at home.:sad:

This would be the only forced part that I would enjoy; yet enjoying it might would mean that it is not forced. However, being told to sit in the chair at a solon and having these things done would put a new spin on things, would it not?

It would be kind of like a daughter being told that she had to wear a skirt today with pantyhose and heels.

[suit]

the idea of forced is sort of fun..as long as it goes as you hope!
the idea of being caught dressed and then kept from undressing ! mmm
sort of like having a zipper jamb...and then getting caught but if anything the zip is pulled allthe way closed ! she sasy "and now.. enjoy! "

[bonniebma]

Graet thread. I've always found this subject alluring and the idea of a GG directing me to dress is quite exciting. While I don't dwell on the psychology (it is what it is)there's a close connection between my submissive side and my CD side.

[MarciManseau]

You'd have to force me to not be feminine, and I'd fight you every step of the way. I guess I'll never see what's humiliating about being a woman. To me, it's a great honor to be a woman 24/7, a vast improvement over being male. I've always known I was meant to be a woman.

Hugs, Marci

[Miss Tessa]

I feel the same way Marci feels.

You'd force me to be male.

Early in transition I hated having to change back into drab clothing to go certain places I wasn't out yet @.

[AmandaM]

I could go for the forced fem, but not the humiliation. I am naturally submissiveness and I love strong women. But, it's more of a personality thing, not a need to be dommed, ok a little light dom would be fun. I do have a French's Maid's outfit. Can someone tell the wife to stay home and try it?

[cyndyw]

Would like my wife to have a friend in a salon who wanted to feminize me. She would make me very feminine and dress me as a sexy female. Then she and my wife would take me shopping and keep me dressed as a female for a month. Every day I would go to the salon and my wife's friend would make sure I looked like an attractive sexy female.

[bobbi]

Would like my wife to have a friend in a salon who wanted to feminize me. She would make me very feminine and dress me as a sexy female. Then she and my wife would take me shopping and keep me dressed as a female for a month. Every day I would go to the salon and my wife's friend would make sure I looked like an attractive sexy female.

Like we all haven't had that dream.

[jacques]

hello,
I have always felt guilty about my crossdressing - something says it is wrong yet I cannot stop it. At one time I had a system to hint to my wife that she should tell me to dress - I would not feel guilty then because I was being told to do it!
Female domination and humiliation seem to be common themes in cross-dressing fiction. I wonder if this is because we are looking to free ourselves of the guilt?
what do you think?
luv to you all,
Jacques

[susan2010]

Jacques:
There might be something to your theory.
When I was 5 or 6 I felt very guilty about wearing my sister's petticoat and I had an elaborate fantasy about being kidnapped and forced to wear petticoats. Heck, still do.