When to make the jump ?

[Suzy Harrison]

As some of you will know, I have made plans to transition in about 6 months time.

I started laser hair removal treatment some time ago and recently started on a course on Anti Androgens, with female hormones hopefully to begin in 6 weeks time.

My plan was for the hormones to have 6 months to give me the physiological boost I need when I'm dealing face to face with the customers that I meet when I'm at work.

Now my favourite female friend at work is saying that already I'm looking less and less like the guy I used to be. I've lost a lot of weight and also the laser treatment is making my face far more softer looking than before. She's a little worried that others might start to notice the changes before I'm ready to make the leap to full time and tell everyone.

I want to give the hormones as long as I can before I go full time, but of course I don't want too much speculation going on before I come out.

Has anyone else been in a simular situation?

[VeronicaMoonlit]

As some of you will know, I have made plans to transition in about 6 months time.


Now my favourite female friend at work is saying that already I'm looking less and less like the guy I used to be. She's a little worried that others might start to notice the changes before I'm ready to make the leap to full time and tell everyone.

I want to give the hormones as long as I can before I go full time, but of course I don't want too much speculation going on before I come out.

Has anyone else been in a simular situation?



I haven't, but know of others who were. They basically moved up the timetable a bit as necessary. Or if it's possible to come out at work as "in the process" thus allowing your normal schedule to go through (or a slower or faster one as needed)

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[MJ]

hey Suzy,
when you feel ready my friend 6 months is a long time but it goes fast. but when you feel comfortable then do it.
personally you can go now you look great in my humble opinion will have no problems :hugs:

[Jennifer in CO]

I was "out-ed" at work. Not intentionally, but due to a chemical spill on mine and a co-workers clothes. We were rushed into a shower area and "assisted" with removing our shirts when under mine they found another t-shirt. When it was removed they found a pretty lace-edged lycra bra that was naturally filled.

VERY long story short, my employer so much as threatened anyone who didn't accept me and anyone who couldn't could deal with him. As far as HR was concerned, I was asked to no-longer bind per my Dr (the t-shirts I had been wearing wear a smaller size) but to not be "flamboyant". I asked what that meant and she said with a smile "no see-thru blouses". So I switched from guys polos to girls polos and within 4 months was using the girls bath rooms just like anyone else. Did I have a time-table to transision?..no. Was my coming out sooner than I wanted/expected...oh yeah. Would I have changed anything afterwards...no

Jenn

[Annaliese]

Time tables are good but when you are ready then go for it. It could be longer or shorter you will know when it is time.

Hugs Annaliese

[Niya W]

Funny thing about time tables, the never work out.

[Sharon]

I think it's just a personal decision as to when the best time to make a full-time transition, based on any number of factors. I actually transitioned about three months before starting hormone therapy because it was simply the most appropriate time for me.

[GypsyKaren]

I started before going on hormones because it was something I just had to do. Timetables are nice, but go with your heart and do what feels right for you at the time.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Avito]

I agree with the others, it is as soon as you are ready.

[Valeria]

Now my favourite female friend at work is saying that already I'm looking less and less like the guy I used to be. I've lost a lot of weight and also the laser treatment is making my face far more softer looking than before. She's a little worried that others might start to notice the changes before I'm ready to make the leap to full time and tell everyone.
I have no doubt that the presence of facial hair is a strong masculinizing feature. I never had hair on most of my face, and I'm pretty sure it contributed to my being called "miss" a lot my entire life when trying to pass as a guy. But it's not really that big a deal. People that know you aren't going to regender you that easily, and it's not obvious that you are trying to look feminine (unlike, say, overly shaped eyebrows). IMO, the worst case scenario is that in retrospect people will look back and think "she's looked pretty feminine for a while", which isn't that bad a thing once you come out.

As for how quickly the hormones work, YMMV. But just anti-androgens are not going to be that feminizing by themselves, and at your age the estrogen is unlikely to work so quickly that it's a problem. The reality is that it's easy to pass as a guy as long as you maintain a guy voice unless you've reached the point where you look indisputably female, and many people who don't start HRT until later in life never reach that point without FFS.

So set your own pace. Vary it as you see fit, but I doubt that you have to worry about starting rumors just based on being extremely smooth faced. If anything, they'll attribute your more youthful appearance to your weight loss. I suspect your friend is seeing your changes differently just because she already knows you are transitioning.

[Sara Violet]

I came out about a year before I transitioned. I told my boss (and very good friend) in confidence she would not tell the district manager until after I was ready. Later that day she did, and so the district told the regional manager. For the following 2 years it was a dead end job, as I had to prove I was as strong and capable of running store as any other person. Basically I was put on the back burner until I could pass very well and every one could adjust (not just them, I needed to adjust as well).

I know my employer interviewed all my staff about what they thought of my transition. no one had anything to say, but I wonder where I might be today if some did.

[Mariah]

like everyone else says when it's time you know it. myself I just finished my first week full time and don't plan on stoping.

Mariah

[DanielMacBride]

I can only really echo what everyone else has said - it's great to have a timetable so you have a plan for where you want to go and how you want to get there, but be flexible on it :) I have found myself that I set a timetable for how I wanted to transition, and some things I have done ahead of schedule and others I took more time on because it was what I felt was right for me when I got there, and it has made my transition so far a lot smoother because I have been able to just go with whatever I know is right :)

Good luck with your transition, and keep us all posted! :)

:hugs:
Daniel

[Suzy Harrison]

I think I'll sitck to my original plan - I can always speed things up later.

For now I'm starting to notice problems with facial hair. The laser treatment seemed to worked - then I had none for 5 weeks while I was away - and recently I noticed some dark hairs returning.

I'm back with the laser treatment again, this time with the highest setting possible. It hurts like you wouldn't believe, but this is something that can cause heaps of problems when I go full time if I don't get it sorted.

PS: After observing me walking towards her the other day, my friend said I even walk like a girl these days. (in boy mode) :doh:

[Miss Tessa]

This was never an issue for me during my transition while starting hormones. I have always been into the underground/club/goth type of lifestyle and I am used to teasing and riducule and sexual orientation speculation and even people wondering if I'm male or female for those who don't know me well at all.

[Jenna1561]

Timetables are fine (I don't have one) but leave room for modifying as needed/desired. Don't lock yourself into something just because you've committed it to paper.

I've been on HRT about 5 months at age 47, not much growth in breast tissue, but skin is definitely softer and body hair MUCH finer. I've also been doing electrolysis for about 15 months and my beard is practically non-existent.

I too have been blessed with an androgynous face and been missed and maamed all my life, much more so now. As for work I'm still a guy, BUT, I'm transitioning under their noses and in plain sight and without saying anything until it's the right time. I wear women's jeans/pants, women's (and men's) polos, bra, makeup and jewelry. Very few people at work say anything and when they do it's usually a compliment. Of course my ID still reads Jake and I must use the men's room (uncomfortable, but it's always been that way), that will change someday, when I'm ready.


Jenna

[Suzy Harrison]

Timetables are fine (I don't have one) but leave room for modifying as needed/desired. Don't lock yourself into something just because you've committed it to paper.

I've been on HRT about 5 months at age 47, not much growth in breast tissue, but skin is definitely softer and body hair MUCH finer.

As for work I'm still a guy, BUT, I'm transitioning under their noses and in plain sight and without saying anything until it's the right time. I wear women's jeans/pants, women's (and men's) polos, bra, makeup and jewelry. Very few people at work say anything and when they do it's usually a compliment. Of course my ID still reads Jake and I must use the men's room (uncomfortable, but it's always been that way), that will change someday, when I'm ready.
Jenna




That's interesting as our ages are similar. I'm going to hold off for now, keep to the plan but keep the plan fluid - that is change it quickly if need be.

The important people at work already know of my position and we have already planned out how we will tell the staff and our customers.

So in many ways 'wait and see' is a good option. I was telling the girl who does my lasering about this and her reply was "well if you're slowly looking more and more female, when you do finally make the jump people won't be too surprised or shocked"..

I'll just wait to see how my body changes and how I feel inside.

[Karen_Ski]

Time tables are great however anyone who has ever been involved in any sort of a large project, and let us be honest making the jump is a major project, knows that they are at best a guideline. Many things happen that are out of our control and timetables have to be shuffled with some items advancing and some being pushed back. Suzy only you will know when it is right, both physically and even more importantly emotionally. Take the steps when you are ready be it 6 months, 6 weeks, or 6 years. Just know all of us are here to support you.