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Phyliss
10-18-2008, 06:17 AM
Sitting here early in the morning at my laptop and what little is left of my brains begins to “wander”

The question has been asked many times of “where are you” along the “slide” “continuum” “journey” “train ride” call it what you will. Personally I don’t know exactly where I am, but I do know I’m a whole lot farther along than I used to be, sometimes it even feels like I’m going faster than I want.

Now, at present, I’m not “all dolled up” in my best finery with complete makeup, wig, etc. but rather wearing my nylon tricot Pjs, fuzzy robe and really comfortable fur lined slippers. Not a real pretty sight early in the A.M. but that’s OK with me. Oh, I’ve combed my hair and put it up in a pony tail, dabbed on a bit of lipstick ( Mary Kay Berry Kiss ) and added a pair of clip on small hoops.

From the point of view of another person, I look like a guy who is making a sad attempt and being “girly”. Well, there isn’t anybody else to see me, and what I look like right now isn’t the point.

It’s more of HOW I FEEL that really counts.

My home office is in my basement, so a few moments ago I went upstairs to the kitchen to refresh my morning coffee. Suddenly after my adventure of this past Monday ( see my post titled “not really much caring”) I’ve sorta taken on a new attitude.

Noted how I was walking as I headed for the stairs and how I ascended them, ( legs together and taking small steps ) , holding my robe so I wouldn’t trip on the steps. As I poured my coffee I noted my finger nails, ( long and shear pink acrylic overlays) and watched myself stir it. Pinky finger extended. Not trying to intentionally do this but rather automatically ( out of habit ? ) performing the action. Came back down the steps, gently and slightly turning sideways ( as if I were wearing heels ). Put my cup on the nearby table and sat down. Of course I smoothed my robe behind myself as I sat. Did this without thinking. Crossed my legs and allowed one slipper to dangle from my foot. Took a sip of my brew and noted the taste of lipstick combined with coffee. Relished the flavor.

Time was, I wouldn’t have even begun to think about the “simple things” in life, but rather would have focused on being pretty and dreaming about “going out”. I’ve been “out” a number of times and yes it’s fun, and thrilling, but for right now, I’m finding that just being able to cultivate an “ATTITUDE “ of what I think is female, is quite a nice feeling. Not every woman wears beautiful dresses all day everyday, ( would be nice ) . The real world has a way of getting in our way and normal things have to be done.

I’m finding that I can accomplish these “normal things” with a different thought process than I used to have. Example: covered my pool yesterday, had to be careful pulling on the cover so that I didn’t “break a nail” did anyhow, and had to find it for “reapplying” later. Little things in life that any other lady would face on a daily basis.
When I had sat down I automatically crossed my legs, just now to get a bit more comfortable I uncrossed them and I’m sitting with my knees together.

So many “little things” happen during the day that it becomes difficult to list them all. What I do find is, that looking at the overall picture, I’ve so changed over the past 3 or 4 years that I’m almost not the same person I used to be.

Took my wife shopping yesterday. On the way home I asked her if she enjoyed the day. One word answer, “yes”. A bit later on she said “ I like shopping with you. It’s fun”
My reply, “I told you when we first talked that you could have a girlfriend to shop with and have a good time.” She sorta agreed to the statement. Went on to note that I hadn’t bought anything for myself. To which she said “You have enough clothes, I’m tripping on all your shoes.” “But honey there’s so much cute stuff out there.” Turned to look at her and only got a small smile as an answer.

I feel so much better about myself today than I did a few years ago. No more hiding or worry about “what will others think? “ FREEDOM is a wonderful thing. Way beyond the “wrinkled” clothes in the trunk of your car or tool box in your garage shop. No more furtive “grab and go” with a dumb lie type of shopping. Most closets don’t have mirrors inside, so I wouldn’t be able to see what I look like, much less improve on those “looks”. Really happy to be ME even if I’m not “runway” beautiful. I am the best ME there is and I’m satisfied with it.

I want to here and now thank every member who has said anything , no matter how minor it might seem. I learn from every post there is. Your contributions have helped me more than you’ll ever know.

deja true
10-18-2008, 06:29 AM
You're talking for a lot of us, hun!

It's something I figured out just a little while ago: It's not all about the clothes, is it?

There's a comforting and comfortable mindset in there somewhere, and eventually I think we all reach it...

:)

Sammy777
10-18-2008, 09:13 AM
Another great post.

I'm wondering though, is this something you have been thinking about or is it something new that came out of your recent scare?

I'm a pretty laid back person to begin with but even I tend to overlook the simple things.
Like not "stopping to smell the roses", even though I have the time to & know I should, I still walk past them, even though I know I shouldn't.
Confused yet? Ya, me too.

I guess what they say is true, Youth is wasted on the young.

docrobbysherry
10-18-2008, 09:38 AM
Such a pleasant, relaxing read first thing Sat. AM. :)

Unfortunately, it highlites how far I have yet to go, before I come to terms with my dressing!:brolleyes:

PamelaTX
10-18-2008, 10:01 AM
What a wonderful essay! Thank you for posting it.

One of the best things for me is lying in bed in the morning a few minutes before I get up and just "feeling female."

I read a lot of posts here about "what the world thinks of us," but to tell you the truth, I don't think that the world cares that much, although there are occasional exceptions. It's more how we feel about ourselves that is the real problem. Intellectually, I feel that being transgendered is a wonderful thing, something to be proud of. But emotionally? I've taken only the first few baby-steps, and I have light-years to go.

Thanks again for your post.

Sarah...
10-18-2008, 04:38 PM
I’m finding that just being able to cultivate an “ATTITUDE “ of what I think is female, is quite a nice feeling.

I agree with the others. This is a thought provoking post. It's stirred some rather sad memories for me. But that's my problem!

The point of my reply is a qualification of the quote above. And it's this: I spent a very long time cultivating an attitude of what I thought was "male" and this was usually not a nice feeling. What is a nice feeling now, for me, is not cultivating an attitude at all. So I think I really do get what you're saying, I just seem to be approaching it from a different angle.

Sarah...

Phyliss
10-18-2008, 07:06 PM
Another great post.

I'm wondering though, is this something you have been thinking about or is it something new that came out of your recent scare?
.....

I guess it's some thoughts I've had but hadn't been able to put them into words, until "recently" .

Like I've said, I didn't "see a bright light" or anything like that, but I do have a new appreciation for things. Funny how sometimes a little thing like that can get your attention. ( ya think?)

mykhelee
10-18-2008, 08:02 PM
I hadn't thought much about the situation until I read your post...
I guess I make an unconcious efftort to be manly when amongst the "normal" world, have had to many comments about feminine mannerisms The world in which I live and work is dominated by reactionary rednecks, isn't life grand.
Maybe one day...

marny
10-18-2008, 10:11 PM
you look great! what more can I say!

MJ
10-18-2008, 10:19 PM
From the point of view of another person, I look like a guy who is making a sad attempt and being “girly”. Well, there isn’t anybody else to see me, and what I look like right now isn’t the point.

It’s more of HOW I FEEL that really counts. .

hey I'm full time and feel the same way. sometimes i envy those who can switch back and forth. i could not do that :hugs:

Phyliss
10-18-2008, 10:26 PM
MJ , I don't switch back and forth, I guess what I was getting at was how my whole general attitude has changed and I kinda like it. Given the right set of circumstances, I don't think it would be very difficult for me to " Go Full Time",

Carin
10-19-2008, 07:29 PM
Good post.
For me, this 'Attitude' is an adaptation to my Self as I see myself now, as I go about my normal affairs.

Interestingly, there seems to be more and more posts along these lines than there used to be. It seems that more people are able to recognise and adjust their lives to integrate their transgenderedness. :thumbsup: