Is CDing all about Looks or Comfort?

[docrobbysherry]

After reading Phyliss's and Arianna's threads, I realized something about me and CDing. Something that bothers me!

I've always desired to know what motivates me to dress, and where my comfort zone is on the dressing scale. I may NEVER figure those things out! However, I have hoped to eventually arrive at a more relaxed CD level than where I am now!

I used to enjoy the little things Phyliss talked about more than I do now. Wearing nylons and heels around the house. A bra and forms on, and a dress swishing at my hips while on the computer. Even wearing under things out to work. I rarely do any of those things any more.:sad:

Now, it's all about the rush I get when I dress all the way! A 3 to 6 hour commitment that I can't do very often.

Instead of getting MORE in touch with my inner female, (or whatever the heck motivates me to dress), I seem to becoming MORE SUPERFICIAL!
In other words, MORE ABOUT BECOMING MY FANTASIES, RATHER THAN BECOMING WHO I REALLY AM!
More about my looks, and less about dressing as I am.

It's not where I WANT to be as a CD, but I can't seem to help myself!:eek:

Does anyone else relate? Or is it just me?:straightface:
Where r u on the, "all about my looks, or, all about being me", scale?

[TGMarla]

Well, that's a good question. It's nice when you can get a nice hybrid of the two, something that looks terrific that fits well and is comfortable.

I have some shoes that really hurt my feet, and have become impossible for me to walk in. But they sure are pretty, and they go with many of my dresses. But I'll never wear them out anywhere. I guess they're for show only. They're definitely all about looks.

But there are some clothes that I have that are comfortable, too. And I would never have aquired them were they not pretty. So.....looks first, comfort second.

[serinalynn]

I believe each and every CDer has things each concentrates on, in my case it's more comfort than beauty or looks. Being an older person on this forum, I am more into the comfort. I think that if I were 30-40 years younger I would say looking like a mature woman would be more of a priorty than comfort. It been said that women are always in competition with each other so looking beautiful and being attractive would be a necessity in younger women.

[PamelaTX]

Neither. CDing is about feeling good.

[Holly]

Interesting thread, doc. (We have to do lunch sometime:battingeyelashes:). My initial thought when I read your post was that my CDing's purpose is to align my outside to my inside... to express who I am, not who I wish I was. I am transgendered; I am not a model. I am acceptable to myself; I don't have to please everyone else. I am happy being me; I don't have to (or need to) be someone else's fantasy. I am free to explore myself and all the world I live in; I am not limited by anyone else.

[Vieja]

For me it's all about feeling good. Sometimes it comes in a rush at other times it's just a gentle feeling of contentment. I can be sure it isn't about looking good and I have pictures to prove it. I would like to put up one as an avatar but I can't seem to figure out how to do it. Then again maybe it's all for the best that I can't. LOL.

:brolleyes: Vieja

[Kate Simmons]

Actually RS it's about both appearance and self acceptance as Holly noted and about overall integration of feelings. No matter which method or what kind of equipment we may use to achieve the results, the real test is to see if the image reflected back from the mirror is genuine. I don't mean just the mirror image but what is behind that image and inside. It's not as hard as it may seem really but we are often the hardest ones to be convinced. The point is, if we feel good about it and the true (not mirror) reflection brings out the real person, we are pretty much there.:)

[Maria2004]

MORE ABOUT BECOMING MY FANTASIES, RATHER THAN BECOMING WHO I REALLY AM!
More about my looks, and less about dressing as I am.

I was in the beginning, and the most important thing for me was to be able to freely go out and about without trouble, and it was depressing to realize that I would need to wear all this extra stuff and keep everything but my hands covered which restricted what I could wear and when, and I resented that and asked myself pretty much the same question, "am I trying to live some fantasy or is this who I truly am".

So I asked myself this question, "if I had been born a genetic female, but looked EXACTLY like I do now, how would I dress?" My answer to myself was, well I'm a girl, I'll dress like one, and wear whatever I want. That's how I think about myself whenever I'm deciding what I'd like to wear either at home or out, I consider it just being myself.

[Nicole Erin]

ummm, both?
WHAT an original answer from the Mad madeomoiselle, non?

[Tasha McIntyre]

I'm about 60% comfort and 40% looks - But above all else it's 100% about feeling good

[DarleneCD]

There is no right or wrong answer to this.

It would be like expecting that everyone will have the same favorite color.

Red of course :)

Seriously this is what makes all of us so unique and wonderful. Whatever feels right to you is right.

Be free and enjoy!

Dar

[marny]

Some of each,but I can I add a third option. I love the feel. I think it's time for me to go to the next step.

[Ashleyxxx]

i started dressing when i was about 10 years old a nieghbours daughter wanted me to play dress up and i liked it now i am 48 i look a lot younger am very fit but find that when i dress it is in a rush hoping that no one will see but the feeling i get is one of imense satisfaction and i feel very girly i feel young and if that makes me happy then why not , i would love to do a makeover at one of those places where you can get everything done because just for one day i would love to be pampered like the women you see getting make up done in the cosmetic department of the local department store that would be great to do that and feel that it was the norm

[VtVicky]

I dress primarily because it feels good. Not "matching some inner self with the outer presentation" feels good. I just like the feel of the clothes.

Having said that; I have mirrors in every room in the house. And I'm partial to clothes that are at least semi-transparent. So, there is clearly a visual component to my CDing. I will never pass, nor do I try. I don't bother with make up or wigs. Mine is strickly a neck down kind of thing.

Long ago I gave up trying o figure it all out, and I am now content to just enjoy it.

Ask yourself if you are spending more time dressing, or more time worring about it.

[MJ]

I'm about 50% comfort and 50% looks . i am no were near were i want to be but i try

[Nicki B]

Why one, without the other? :idontknow:

Surely we all do it because we feel more comfortable doing it - but we each have our own compromise between physical discomfort and looking as we feel we should (just like cis-women)? Where we draw that line surely varies with opportunity to dress, age, need to impress (ourselves and others) - it's never a constant?

But 'suffering for one's beauty' is essentially a feminine concept? :roflmao:


Now I must go and get these boots off..

[emmicd]

Crossdressing is about feeling feminine and looking pretty. I love the feel of smooth shaven legs draped in silky pantyhose and covered by a very pretty dress. That is a great feeling to me!

emmi
xoxo

[Jaydee]

I dress for my own inner comfort and contentment. I am not that concerned with "looks", although I enjoy appropriate style. I don't go out and would never pass if I did. What I wear is primarily age appropriate and everyday wear not from a fantasy. It is right for me and give me the most satisfaction.

Jaydee

[mykhelee]

It is all of the above...I don't get a rush when I dress, more a level of comfort. I am not above sliding into a girdle or cincher if it fits my mood and the outfit. All of my shoes are comfy even the 5" heels. I dress for comfort and appearence because that is who I am. I know that in order to go out it will require a couple of hours of face and hair work, nial polish and such, more attention to what I am wearing etc. I am very fem, can't help it.

As long as you are comfortable within your own skin, the world can take a flying leap at a rolling donut. To not exactly quote Mr. Vonnegut.

[Sallee]

interesting thread.
Quick answer for me is looking Good. but in reality I guess it is about feeling good. Which isn't always the same as comfort. Why do Guys where ties? That ain't comfort. But maybe it feels good for some guys. I feel good when I where a nice dress and heels. But after awhile that can get old. Like Meatloaf says "All dressed up and no place to go":2c:

[charlie]

The problem is that the look makes the comfort. You would not feel comfortable with your look if you did not don all the feminine pieces of wardrobe that make you happy. I can't go out without wearing the wig, nylons, undergarments and makeup! No short cuts allowed or I do not feel right. I have gotten the whole ritual down to 1.5 hours from shower to finish, then out, though!

[TxKimberly]

You know after reading the title of this thread I had expected to enter it and make some smart aleck remark asking what could possibly be comfortable about CDing? I was pleasantly surprised to see that the thread and the concept were quite a bit deeper than that.
I discovered something about myself at SCC recently that I do NOT like.
I AM vain.
I AM selfish.
There is quite a significant "me me me" component to my cross dressing that I am not at all proud of. When I mentioned this to my wife she laughed quite loudly.
"You mean you JUST figured that out? Well DDDUUUUHHH!!"

[Dragster]

Of course CDing is selfish Kimberley, most of what anyone does is driven by the pleasure they receive from doing it. Even altruistic acts give us a "warm glow", that is the motivation for us doing them in the first place!

I dress for the excitement I feel when I look at this obviously male body of mine, alluringly re-modelled to look "feminine". Shaped by corset, covered in shiny satin, heeled and stockinged. I long to add wig and make-up, but there are issues with my wife I must address first, and that's taking a long time.
I don't dress for comfort, I want to be constantly reminded that I am wearing something exciting, the tight corset again, high heels, a tight skirt that makes it difficult to walk, or the swish of satin against my stockinged legs etc.

Even now (I'm 64) the excitement is still sexual for me, but if I ever got to the stage of going out, I'd tone down my tastes considerably so as to blend in. My underwear would still be hot and I wouldn't be aiming to dress like my granny or my mother did at this age either!

BTW Sallee, I think Meatloaf was "all REVVED up and no place to go", but also being closeted, I know what you mean.

Tony

[LilSissyStevie]

With apologies to Howlin' Wolf, I ain't built for comfort. It's all about the look for me. If I want to wear something comfortable I slip on some sweatpants, a t-shirt and a pair of crocs - just like my wife does. As far a internal comfort goes, I'm usually comfortable in my own skin no matter how I'm dressed. I get dressed up for fun and erotic expression. It doesn't make me who I am. I'm already complete.
:love:

[Jonianne]

You know after reading the title of this thread I had expected to enter it and make some smart aleck remark asking what could possibly be comfortable about CDing? I was pleasantly surprised to see that the thread and the concept were quite a bit deeper than that.
I discovered something about myself at SCC recently that I do NOT like.
I AM vain.
I AM selfish.
There is quite a significant "me me me" component to my cross dressing that I am not at all proud of. When I mentioned this to my wife she laughed quite loudly.
"You mean you JUST figured that out? Well DDDUUUUHHH!!"

Kim, I used to feel so guilty (my ex really played this up) about the fact that crossdressing is selfishly about me. But you know what, it is OK to take care of our own needs. In any healthy relationship (including with our own self), it is necessary to have some ME time.

I prefer to dress more for comfort. I wish I had the looks, but I don't and anyway, after a few hours, I'm ready to take the wig and makeup off, especially if its warm. I couldn't imagine wearing heels and tight cloths all day. Thats just not me. Give me frumpy old jumpers and flats anyday.

[docrobbysherry]

You know after reading the title of this thread I had expected to enter it and make some smart aleck remark asking what could possibly be comfortable about CDing? I was pleasantly surprised to see that the thread and the concept were quite a bit deeper than that.
I discovered something about myself at SCC recently that I do NOT like.
I AM vain.
I AM selfish.
There is quite a significant "me me me" component to my cross dressing that I am not at all proud of. When I mentioned this to my wife she laughed quite loudly.
"You mean you JUST figured that out? Well DDDUUUUHHH!!"

I actually had something to say about this also, in my original thread here. But, I took it out. It sounded like a related, but different topic!

One of the reasons I keep pushing for better, more fem looks, is my dammed VANITY!
As a man, I never had any reason to feel vain about my looks. And I disliked that trait in others. Even some of the pretty women I dated!
And now I find myself becoming this conceited, selfcentered narcissist!:doh:

I don't have an SO to rein me in, and/or issue me a slap of reality once in awhile. At least u do! Sometimes, I'm uncomfortable looking good dressing, and feeling so proud of that, at the same time!:sad:

[Deanna2]

I'll vote for comfort. Femme gear is so much nicer than drab in so many different ways.

[Karren H]

It's the look for me.... If I wanted comfort... I'd wear jeans!!! :D

[JanSmith]

I agree. Dressing is to look pretty and feminine. That's why I love beautiful lingerie. I like to wear it and see it on others both males and females. A pretty person dressed in silk and lace who is feminine and takes care of themselves is a wonderful site to behold.

[Carly D.]

For me, when I feel like cross dressing full and total it can be about the look. but partial dressing up as I do more than not anymore is about the feeling of pantyhose or tights on my legs, and of course high heels on my feet and the look that these things accomplish..

[Angel.Marie76]

You know after reading the title of this thread I had expected to enter it and make some smart aleck remark asking what could possibly be comfortable about CDing? I was pleasantly surprised to see that the thread and the concept were quite a bit deeper than that.
I discovered something about myself at SCC recently that I do NOT like.
I AM vain.
I AM selfish.
There is quite a significant "me me me" component to my cross dressing that I am not at all proud of. When I mentioned this to my wife she laughed quite loudly.


As I've been slowly working towards expressing my femme self lately, I've noticed the same occurences.. Like another post before, I tend to just admire myself dressed in the mirror, because what I see reflecting back at me is not the same person I've been looking at for the last average of 30 years... and it's a good, and complicated, feeling.

For me I'd say 30% feeling, 30% comfort, 40% looks (in that order). I love the feeling of the different fabrics, I'm a huge stocking addict, and having the tighter/snug clothing just makes me feel more comfortable... which then leads to looks - If after enjoying the feeling of the clothing, lotions, care and such, which makes me (feel) happy, comfortable and content (my SO was working with me the other night, and, as she took a moment to herself and asked me a question about something and my reply was: 'Whatever you'd like hun, I couldn't be any happier right now..." as I was fiddling with a makeup compact and working on my nails.. ), that I can look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman staring back at me, well, complete the equation, I'm done. :)

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

For me, CDing is for looks and comfort. I always loved women's fashions and they feel so comfortable. I love the shaved legs,armpits and make up also. I think it depends on how each person feels.


Felicity :)

[Shannen]

I think an important point here is that we all go through stages. This isn't something that you "figure out how to do", and then do it for the rest of your life.

I often see similarities in my journey of femaleness as the journey a GG takes. Many of us just try to compress the wonderfully awakening feelings of a young women through the mature feelings of adult womanhood into a 6 month race!

Pantyhose (and the rest) feels good to me. The physical aspect as well as an emotional "comfort" from being who I am.

:hugs:

[sissystephanie]

I'm about 60% comfort and 40% looks - But above all else it's 100% about feeling good

I would definitely have to go with Tasha on this. It is 100% about feeling good. My dear late wife used to say that I could put together the oddest combinations and still look feminine and comfortable. To me, that is what it is all about.

Stephanie

[Natasha Carlo]

It's all about achieving the perfect look for me.

Some heels may not be at all comfortable, but darnit they're just so cute, and totally match an outfit!

[Susan4]

It's about feeling good, and time.

That is, when I don't have the time to do more, I find that a few things - earings, lipstick, shoes make me feel good while reading or doing chores. It's about comfort and feeling good.

Then sometimes, when I have lots of time and privacy, I can do more. I can try for looks AND feeling good.

Of course :) I'll never be able to pass. So, 'looks' is relative.

:love:

[Tina B.]

I dress to feel good, but of course to feel good means it has to be pretty, and comfortable, because I plan to wear it for the whole day, and into the evening, that can be as simple as a pair of Capri's or a skirt and blouse, from flats to heels, but if the size is right, and I am not trying to squeeze into something two sizes to small, it can all be comfortable. And i can wear make-up 12 hours a day and find it as comfortable as not wearing it. And yes I also see the vanity in the cross dressing, I feel that I look younger and prettier in feminine wear than in mens wear. But then neither sex has a lock on vanity!
Tina

[LA CINDY LOVE]

To Cindy it is all about looks and excitement, we want to say comfort but we throw that out the window for the look we are trying to achieve.

I see to many Cd's wearing a corset so tight that they can hardly breath or have there bra pack with every thing but the kitchen sink just to have a Brest line and we have all look at the Cd's who is wearing a dress 2 sizes to small that the seam is about rip and less not forget the stripper heels that put some girls on the ground and the heels that give us sore feet.

If it is comfort that you are looking for then just go in drab, as they say beauty shows no pain.

LA CINDY LOVE

[Lorna]

If we're talking about physical comfort, then I can't deny that achieving a reasonable figure and looking reasonably good involves some loss of comfort. The tight longline bra, the high-waist girdle, the suspenders, the heels...not worn for physical comfort. The beauty of being an occasional CD is the wide choice of clothing and style available for women (real or otherwise). I can go for a half-way option: short bra, tights, pantie girdle, etc and be quite a bit more comfortable and look less good...but not too bad. Or, I can feel as comfortable as many a modern woman in bra, tights or stockings with a light suspender belt worn under an easy dress or skirt...but have to accept that nobody seeing me would remotely mistake me for that "modern woman"!

At least I can choose between all the various options. In reality, though, I most often go for the less comfortable in order to achieve the best look: I soon get used to it, just as real women do. And I enjoy it. I really don't know (and am unlikely to find out) whether, if I was dressed full-time as a woman, I would be less accepting of the discomfort and opt more and more for comfortable dressing.

[Sam44]

Lorna's post reminds me that actually my goal in wearing women's clothes wasn't always physical comfort: for example if I couldn't tell I was wearing a bra what would be the point? It's exactly the little extra tugs, pressure, etc. that remind me that I'm dressed up.

Now I often pick clothes to wear in a more utilitarian way, what ever is closer to hand... This definitely leans closer to emotional comfort rather than looks.