Don't want to be a Woman.

[kayla_cd_va]

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way. I don't want to be a woman in everyday life. In my day to day life I'm happy being a man. I know alot of crosseressers talk down to you if you even hint that your crossdressing is sexual. Mine is. I love the femine feeling but only want it for sex. I like being with men and being dressed fem for their pleasure. The feel of stockings and the way I feel in high heels is totally erotic. The make up, the wig and painted nails excite me sexually. Does anyone else have similar feelings. Just dress totally fem for sex but not out to make a political statement or function in every day life as a woman?

Kayla

[Katheryn]

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way. I don't want to be a woman in everyday life. In my day to day life I'm happy being a man. I know alot of crosseressers talk down to you if you even hint that your crossdressing is sexual. Mine is. I love the femine feeling but only want it for sex. I like being with men and being dressed fem for their pleasure. The feel of stockings and the way I feel in high heels is totally erotic. The make up, the wig and painted nails excite me sexually. Does anyone else have similar feelings. Just dress totally fem for sex but not out to make a political statement or function in every day life as a woman?

Kayla


Kayla, hun, I"m sure everyone has different reasons, but mine are much like your reasons. I have no problem with my male half, but I do have this female half that merely wants expression from time to time. If I wall her up, she gets cranky and my male half personality sours, so I just do things to allow her out.

Also, everyone's level is different, some are satisfied with wearing some femme things around the house, some are satisfied with an anonymous drive. None of these things are wrong for the individuals involved. What satisfies one's needs is not necessarily enough or, perhaps, is way beyond another's needs.

Kate

[Angie G]

If that works for you great go for it with my blessings. for me it;s the girl aspect I love being a girl if only in being dressed And in a state of mind.:hugs:
Angie

[TGMarla]

It's become something more than sexual for me, but it still has a large degree of eroticism for me. So if you cut out that "something more" I just alluded to, you're square on.

Oh, and I applaud your saying so. You're very right about CDs looking down their nose at you if you admit to such a thing. But I suspect that it's true to some degree for most.

[Natasha Carlo]

I'm kinda like you...

But a little confused :(

I like being a guy. But at the same time I want to be a girl.
I dress for sexual reasons, but at the same time, I dress because I want to be a girl.

But... I still like my guy side.

I'm having a problem with wanting to have my cake and eat it too....

Everything you described Kayla, is TOTALLY normal!

Every CD, tgirl, grrl etc... has different things they like! It's just what makes us all unique :) Don't worry about it. Just do what makes you happy hon!

[BrianaMarie]

Kayla,

Very interesting. I'm a GG and I've really questioned this myself.If you over analyze it, it can become extremely confusing. As a Best Friend of a CD and a SO it makes you wonder from time to time. Is this really where she/he wants to be or does she need more? For me, I hold trust in the fact that our communication is strong and the foundation of our relationship is even stronger.

I can only imagine how confusing this must be for all of you and can only hope that each of you allow yourself to be whatever you feel the need to be. At the same time loving yourself throughout the entire journey!

Hugs!

[flacindycd]

Just wondering if anyone else feels this way. I don't want to be a woman in everyday life. In my day to day life I'm happy being a man. I know alot of crosseressers talk down to you if you even hint that your crossdressing is sexual. Mine is. I love the femine feeling but only want it for sex. I like being with men and being dressed fem for their pleasure. The feel of stockings and the way I feel in high heels is totally erotic. The make up, the wig and painted nails excite me sexually. Does anyone else have similar feelings. Just dress totally fem for sex but not out to make a political statement or function in every day life as a woman?

Kayla

WELL SAID, I TOO FEEL ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME WAY...ADD IN A LITTLE ESCAPISM TO IT THOUGH ,AT LEAST FOR ME, IT SEEMS TO MAKE ALL MY TROUBLES DISAPPEAR WHILE I'M CINDY ...AS FAR AS SEX GOES , YES I ENJOY IT IMMENSELY AS A SEXUAL THING AS WELL..TRUTHFULLY I TRIED JOINING A "HETRO" CD/TGIRL GROUP ON YAHOO...THEY DENIED ME SAYING THEY DIDNOT LIKE MY PROFILE BECAUSE IT WAS TOO SEXUAL AND THE FACT THAT I WAS BISEXUAL...WELL I WROTE THEM A NASTY GRAM BACK ..SAYING CONSIDERING WE AS A GROUP ARE SUPPOSEDLY VERY PERMISSIVE, THAT THEY WERE ACTUALLY BEING QUITE BIASED IF NOT ALMOST RACIST.. BUT THATS JUST MY VIEW...AS FOR THE YAHOO GROUP ,WELL I REFUSE TO ASSOCIATE WITH THAT KIND OF PEOPLE...THAT THINK THEIR ARE ABOVE EVERYONE ELSE...SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT....BUT I'M GLAD TO SEE I'M NOT ALONE IN MY LITTLE OLD WORLD OF CROSSDRESSING...HUGGS GURLZ

[Elly E]

I totally wish I was a girl. But I have to accept who I am and just enjoy pretending.

[Kayla_CD]

I don't know if it's totally only sexual, but I can agree that I don't want to be a woman full time.

[Nicole Erin]

I know alot of crosseressers talk down to you if you even hint that your crossdressing is sexual. Does anyone else have similar feelings. Just dress totally fem for sex but not out to make a political statement or function in every day life as a woman?

Kayla

Yeah the CDs who talk down to those who do this for sexual pleasure are usually older and don;t have a sex drive anyways. To hell with what they think.

For me, there is a small degree of sexual excitement to it, but not as much anymore. I may be wrong but I just feel better about myself when dressed to some degree.

I always say that a person has to decide for himself how he wants to live. That whole argument that someone is not really CD or TS cause they have sexual feelings is a load of crap.

[Clara]

I talked about this in the 'introduce yourself' section so sorry if I repeat myself. I'm finding that I want to be a guy when being out (anywhere: work, bar, visiting friends) but a woman when at home. What makes it difficult (well, impossible is the right word) is that when in femme mode at home I want to be a complete woman (natural breasts including). Is there any sexual undertone to it? Possibly. Why do I want to be a woman at home and not anywhere else, I don't know.

[mykhelee]

If a gg knows I dress and wants to go that road sexually I'm all for it, Do I get a sexual thrill when I dress, no. I acheive a level of emotional comfort that I cannot attain in drab, why, don't know and no longer care.

I do feel an inner thrill at having an outfit look good, or finding that perfect pair of shoes.

I have never been with a man dressed, myself or them. I have not done the bi in may years. You have to do whatever you are comfy with. Just be very careful, a lot of the men who are intersted in us only want the act.

[Maria2222]

I like my CD life, but like my man life better. Besides, it's too much work being a woman.

[leesametz]

Besides, it's too much work being a woman.

AMEN sister!

i need to do the brakes on the car and all the way home from work i was thinking about this and how i would like to dress for the evening and maybe go to dinner with a GG friend of mine...

the car won out because of the amount of work it would have required for 2 hours of Leesa Time...

[Ms. Wanda]

Wow....there so many things about being a woman I like....but at the same time being a man too. Sexuality to me is part of everyday life and I am very sexual/sensual being male OR female. But I will say that all of the wonderful things about being a woman are very fulfilling for me in so many ways, so it goes into my extreme sexuality quite a bit.

[Michelle42]

For me it's sexual as well. And I see no signs of that diminishing yet.

Still, we can argue that even when a woman puts on something nice it's sexual. Although her concious motivation might not be sexual (she puts it on because she just likes to look nice to herself), the result is that she gets more attention from men.

I'm not trying to imply that the turn-on is the way how a desire to look feminine manifests in a man, though. This is probably more complicated ...

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Not really interested in having sex with a man, I'm not bisexual and having the thought of sex with a man is somewhat un-appealing. But when dressed up my sexual desire is stronger. Only thing I'd like, is to find a beautiful women GG to have a rlationship with, who is okay with my crossdressing. :battingeyelashes:

[angelfire]

I'm very similar, it is primarily a sexual thing for me at this stage. I like my male side very much, but sometimes I like to feel pretty I guess. I have no intentions of transitioning or going full time. I would like to eventually go out dressed though.

[Farrah]

IMHO, I think cding is sexual to most cd's to some extent. Some may be partial, and some may do exclusive for sexual reasons. We all do it for different reasons or feelings. However we should not look down on the other for the reason we do things. We are the only ones that somewhat understand one another, so if we look down on our own, we can't expect for society to look at us in a positve light.

[Zenith]

I like my CD life, but like my man life better. Besides, it's too much work being a woman.

No kidding...it's tougher being a woman in every possible way...well men have to run up the beaches at Normandy but thankfully that doesn't happen often...and unfortunately wars are becoming an equal opportunity employer...

Honestly IMHO dressing as an attraction to clothes or roleplay or a sexual thrill shouldn't be looked down upon as a bad thing at all...it's a lighthearted fun that can be put away and forgotten about while relaxed maleness and working on cars, motorcycles etc...returns...

Those in agony are trans-people as dressing is only a means to an end...going back to male is utter misery...this just cuts deeper to them in every way...

:2c:

[Sarah...]

I don't really know if my crossdressing is sexual or not. I've never felt good about myself in man clothes and consequently don't feel attractive and sexy dressed as such. Oh yes, I frequently feel smart when dressed in really good man stuff but it never seems to translate into a good feeling about myself. Which is tough in some respects.

If I want to be me and not outwardly sexy I wear woman's clothes that I think are functional and deliberately not flattering. And that's most things given that I have a man's body!! If I feel like I want to put out some real signals I'll dress accordingly, in flirty, curve enhancing, ultra-feminine styles. Of course sexiness is in the eye of the beholder and whilst all this makes me feel how I want to feel I'm not vain enough to think I look much more than a guy in a dress most of the time :heehee:. Such is life though!

So, I guess that's me open to scrutiny! And I guess that means there is a sexual element to my mode of dress. I'll leave it to others to tell me if it works or not!!!!

Sarah...

[Scotty]

I'm happy being a happy balance.
While My jeans are women's 501's you can't tell them apart really from mens - T-shirt or long polo shirt - androngonous dressing for me...
Long hair, ear rings (male/female diamond studs) -

It's a balance for me, half an half - and while I just bought some new loung pants that are clearly femme and I wear pink around the house a lot, when I go out nobody would know.

Two spirits...

[MsJanessa]

Darling I suspect that most of Us started because of the erotic feelings we got and still get when dressed---many of Us branched out from there.

[Schatten Lupus]

I dress to feel more like a woman. Allthough me and my SO have come to a compromise that she doesn't want me to transition, crossdressing is ok.
Allthough lately, she has brought it up alot lately. I've been wanting to ask her if she wants to go to a therapist with me to help work out or issues over it, but we can't afford one right now.

[susan fuller]

I would love to be a woman full time but am too old to make the transistion. I also love making love to a woman so I would have been a lesbion if I were a woman full time.

[charlie]

Hello Kayla!
I hate to admit it, but yes I do love the sexual part of dressing up. I love it when men tell me I'm pretty, when they buy me a drink, when they touch my legs or hold on to my hand. I don't want sex with them though, just like the compliments and the male/feminine attraction stuff. I too would never like to be a female all the time. I don't want sex with a man either...but the game is fun! I now know what was going on in the girl's heads when I used to chase women in bars and in college.

[rickie121x]

Kayla, I agree with you. For me, crossdressing is like loving a woman.... I want to be with her for good feelings I get - totally non sexual. She is my friend - making me feel more fulfilled

When I am with her I am stimulated by my male hormones in the primitive mode - protective, possessive. Those are strong motivators and good feelings.

She is very much my alter ego - her notions very much alive within my trains of thought.

She turns me on sexually, seriously... that is one the habitual reasons I keep coming back to her. She is my most sexual friend and partner.

Dressing, and going out, prolonged periods of being "dressed" are all foreplay to me. Ah yes, it is extremely sexual, but that's just a part of an incredibly large psychological, emotional, and sensual experience.

Rickie :daydreaming:

[Dragster]

Spot-on Kayla, you've described my feelings exactly. Because my wife is so "anti-CD" I haven't progressed to nails, make-up and wig yet, but I yearn for the day when I can. It was sexual for me from day one (I had my first orgasm, accidentally, wearing my mother's girdle over 50 years ago), and even at 64 it's still highly erotic for me. Because I'm not out, I don't know how I'd respond in male company. I think I'd really enjoy their appreciation, but, being 100% hetero (and happily married for nearly 40 years), it would go no further than providing eye candy and flirty conversation. I provided a fuller answer to a question in another thread earlier tonight, here's the link; it's post #24
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92201 (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92201)

Tony

[Tess]

It started out sexual for me many years ago and dressing still has a strong sexual component. Over the years I've grown to love wearing feminine cloths even without the sexual angle. I'm bisexual, probably leaning on the gay side, but that part of my life developed separately from my cross dressing. I love women, can't imagine loving a man, but much prefer men sexually. The sexuality and cross dressing have merged a bit over the years even though I never thought it would. I guess I'm just a crazy mixed up kid.

[LilSissyStevie]

Crossdressing is a form of erotic expression for me. It's just one tool of many for that purpose. I don't really have a guy side. I've never felt like a man even when doing "guy" stuff. I don't even really like the company of men. I much prefer the company of women. On the other hand, I don't mind being a male. I'm perfectly happy with my male parts (except for the hair!) I'm just not a woman on the inside and really wouldn't want to be one. I'm neither man nor woman nor even something between. I'm a fairy!
:love:

[Ballerina]

I'm like that, too. I don't want to be a complete woman. I don't even want to wear many of the forms, change my personality/attitude, disguise my voice, or even be called "she" (unless as a playful joke/nickname). I just want to be me.

As far as eroticism goes, it started out being erotic and now I don't know what to make of it. I believe it's still has that charge on me, but I think there's more to it now that I've come clean with myself about my CDing. Probably doesn't help that I'm afraid that it may be nothing more than the erotic charge, and that my GF will be afraid of that... But, who knows...

[Electra]

In the beginning whenever I put on feminine clothes I used to get a strong erection, so strong that it had to be taken care of :happy:(DIY unfortunately as my wife did not and still doesn't know about my hobby). This does not happen often now as I have become more used to dressing. I am happy being a hetero male and don't want a sexual encounter with a man, although when in CD mode I would like to be admired by a man. So altogether I think there is a sexual component in my CDing but it's all really mixed up. Does this make sense?:confused:

[Sam44]

For me there is definitely a sexual side to CDing. I certainly was aroused (and probably looking for arousal) when I first experimented with wearing the bras and panties that my mom threw out. I sometimes get aroused when I'm planning what I'll wear in the morning or on my next drive and I usually feel like toning down the outerwear after sexual release.

In spite of the above I still feel that I'm just more myself in women's clothing. That self is definitely heterosexual, I have no fantasies of being with a man, or passing as a woman or even wearing makeup. I just like wearing the clothes.