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Julie
05-30-2005, 01:17 PM
No matter how bad you think you have it there's always someone who has it worse. So quit your crying and appreciate all the good things you have.
Guys have no idea what they are missing out on and the girls aren't telling. That skirt I had on last night coupled with pantyhose was so sensuous! :drool: I have never known of any guy clothing that feels that nice.
Repressing dressing, no matter how well you have convinced yourself you don't need to, is bad for the soul. There's nothing in the world that can take the place of a good night out dressed.
Look past the appearance and you may find beauty your eyes can't see. This is something I am seeing more and more.
I have asked myself hundreds of times why I ended up TG. I have come up with many reasons but none really seemed to click. But last night, after Escapades closed, Laura and I talked for almost two hours and I learned lesson #4.

The first time I saw her I thought she'd break me in half if I crossed her and that was almost a year ago. Over time I got to know her a little but never that well. She's a tough looking broad and that can scare a lot of people away. If I wasn't dressed I doubt I ever would have gotten to know her. But one thing that's a constant is when people accept me dressed I know they accept the real me and that is something that means a lot to me and I open myself up. Laura accepted me for who I am.

If you ever saw the movie "Shallow Hal" you would know what I am talking about. Once you look inside a person and see them for who they are you get to really know them and looks don't matter. Laura isn't into TGs but she looked inside me and liked the person inside. Same with Dawn. Both have told me it's not how you are dressed, it's the person inside I love. That may be the single greatest thing I learned from being TG.

Last night when I saw this picture of Laura and me

https://home.comcast.net/~julimarie/images/5-05/julie_laura.jpg

I just loved it because I had found a great friend by looking inside her. She's the type of person who would go to the wall for a friend. She taught me a lot last night and I will be forever grateful to her.

When I look at that as something I learned because I'm TG it makes all the pain and anguish seem trivial. I doubt I would have ever enjoyed the deep relationships I have if I wasn't TG. It kinda makes me happy I am.

Lady Jayne
05-30-2005, 01:24 PM
Well said!:thumbsup: :clap:

derminator
05-30-2005, 01:25 PM
Julie - i think you've said it all......... perhaps there's a further lesson for those CD'ers who feel they are not up to the mark of ever passing off as a woman....... remember lesson #4... the beauty is from within!

CharleneCD
05-30-2005, 01:25 PM
It is so great to see you back and posting again Julie. I am so happy you have been able to find true friends. Other than Bunny I have always been incapable of making friends. Now with my dressing and the introspection and changes it is causing, i have hope that that will change. You have shown me the example.

Jerry
05-30-2005, 02:48 PM
Julie, I swear this is the best picture I've seen of you. There is complete comfort in your posture and your smile. You are radiating! Keep it up.

Jerry

Ava Mouse
05-30-2005, 03:10 PM
Well said Julie M!

Ironic that we crossdressers, so obsessed with how we look, can see the inner beauty of people better than some 'normal' people...?

I think we're just trying to bring that inner beauty out, instead of covering ourselves with a false image? We want our inner self reflected in outer self. People notice it when the outer matches the inner...

Tristen Cox
05-30-2005, 06:17 PM
No matter how bad you think you have it there's always someone who has it worse. So quit your crying and appreciate all the good things you have.
Guys have no idea what they are missing out on and the girls aren't telling. That skirt I had on last night coupled with pantyhose was so sensuous! :drool: I have never known of any guy clothing that feels that nice.
Repressing dressing, no matter how well you have convinced yourself you don't need to, is bad for the soul. There's nothing in the world that can take the place of a good night out dressed.
Look past the appearance and you may find beauty your eyes can't see. This is something I am seeing more and more.


You are so right :clap: :thumbsup:

GypsyKaren
05-30-2005, 07:14 PM
You know, I have to agree with everything you said, especially about seeing your inner beauty. I have finally learned to love myself for what I am and not be ashamed of it. I see myself for what I truly am, a kind, loving, compassionate person, and not a freak in a dress. Thank you for putting it all so well.
GypsyKaren

racquel
05-30-2005, 08:18 PM
Amen.

Julie
05-30-2005, 08:58 PM
Julie, I swear this is the best picture I've seen of you. There is complete comfort in your posture and your smile. You are radiating! Keep it up.

Jerry

Jerry,

I'm still trying to comprehend how deeply I was affected by this. When I read your post it helped put the pieces together for me. Yes, you are right. I was completely comfortable and Laura helped me get there.

Maybe I'm feeling so emotional by this experience because I stopped stuffing Julie away and let her become one with Jim.

I had a long talk with my sister today and I told her how I am finally okay with being TG and how that resulted in Jim and Julie merging together, regardless of dress. If you saw the look on her face you would know how happy she was for me. I mean she was beaming. Pretty cool :cool:

When I look back I see how embarassed I was about my femme self all my life. Now I am so grateful I am that way. I was in a therapy session Thursday and the therapist asked me why I need emotional relationships. I was baffled why she would ever ask that. When you have a close relationship with someone and it's a give-give situation, it's one of life's greatest joys. I wouldn't trade it for the world. That's the way Dawn and I have been from the start and now Laura and I seem to have that too.

It wasn't that long ago I was so down I thought there's nothing good ahead. But it was my desire to dress that got me out of the house and into a social environment where people loved me regardless of how I looked. From there it just went uphill. Had I not been TG I very well could have just cried in my beer and felt sorry for myself. Another blessing of being TG. It just keeps getting better and better. At this moment in time I am so happy I was gifted with my TG personality (I didn't think bragging about being TG would bother you girls since you all have the gift too :D )

https://home.comcast.net/~julimarie/images/5-05/tg_jules.jpg

Teddie
05-31-2005, 07:31 AM
Julie,

Thank you! I've been having some issues with my dressing. Not liking what I'm seeing. Too many people around the house (kid home from college, not working, and hanging around the house :thumbsdn: ) I was almost ready to pack everything away for who knows how long. But, after reading your points, I'm not going to. I'm going to do what I can to be me, when I can.

You said, "Repressing dressing, no matter how well you have convinced yourself you don't need to, is bad for the soul. There's nothing in the world that can take the place of a good night out dressed." How very true. Being dressed is the best thing that can happen to you soul. The feeling is deep, and ever lasting.

Then you said, "Look past the appearance and you may find beauty your eyes can't see. This is something I am seeing more and more." You are so right. Looking in the mirror, I sometimes see my male self in makeup :eek: But, then I look again, and I see my feminine self, and I love her :) She is me.

melissacd
05-31-2005, 08:23 AM
Julie,

When I read your posts I get a very good feeling. A great sense of warmth, calm and acceptance come over me. Are you sure that you were not sent here from another planet to bring the good word of cross dressing to our world :)

While I am not anywhere near where you are in my cross dressing process, I am glad that there are others like yourself out there who give me hope and help light the way.

I am so very glad that I have come to know you through this community. You are a fountain of wisdom and I cherish that. You have great beauty outside, but most importantly you have great beauty inside.

Thanks so much Julie,

Hugs
Melissa