Busted!!!!!

[Donnadcd]

My wife got a little curious and found me out. I'm glad she did.

I was always too chicken to flat-out tell her, so it came out this way.

Like Lucy, I had "some splainin' to do" - which I did. She doesn't seem too understanding. I figured as much.

Where it goes from here? Not sure.

For me - I'm hoping I can move fast forward with my dressing.

[Holly]

...For me - I'm hoping I can move fast forward with my dressing.I'm thinking you have some work to do on your priorities. :sad:

[Karren H]

I'm with Holly... better work things out before you fast forward yourself out of a relationship....

[Donnadcd]

I'm thinking you have some work to do on your priorities. :sad:

You're 100% right - I didn't mean it the way it sounded.

Thanks for pointing that out.

[Tamara Croft]

For me - I'm hoping I can move fast forward with my dressing.Oh puh-lease... just because your wife found you out, does NOT give you the green light to run head on into the pink fog... seriously... get a clue already :brolleyes:

[Di]

Like Lucy, I had "some splainin' to do" - which I did. She doesn't seem too understanding. I figured as much.

For me - I'm hoping I can move fast forward with my dressing.
I guess you are trying to be cute or funny at least I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are not so uncaring or selfish.
As you prob have read she will prob have more questions in the days to come...answer honestly and you can give her this site to talk to other GG's so she doesn't feel alone and can understand and learn. Best wishes hope things work out.:hugs: for you both!

[Karren H]

Oh puh-lease... just because your wife found you out, does NOT give you the green light to run head on into the pink fog... seriously... get a clue already :brolleyes:

For some reason, when my wife found out, the darkness of impending doom made the pink fog very hard to see!! Lol

[Sally2005]

I interpret moving ahead in fast-forward as being able to move out of the dilemma of how to tell to the now we all know and how do we deal with it phase. On one hand I can understand that you feel free, but on the other hand don't forget to let her catch up with you so that you don't throw away the other stuff that matters. Personally, I feel like a yo-yo...sometimes the pink fog comes in, other times it is the challenge that drives me and other times I just feel good and sometimes CDing feels the most alien to me...one reason I've not told my SO, but I'm not hiding too much...although not perfect if she asked me first, as in your case, at least it would solve the being a big chicken problem. Concratulations and Good luck!

[Sandra]

For me - I'm hoping I can move fast forward with my dressing.

Really, I bet your wife has other ideas.




She doesn't seem too understanding. I figured as much

But you want to move quickly, how selfish.

[PamelaTX]

I have to agree with the other ladies here. I think your top priority now is preserving your marriage.

[Amanda Shaft]

Wow, everyone’s on your case aren’t they!
Sharing your secret may well lead to new opportunities to express yourself, but you do need to take your partner on this trip with you. I hope you are fortunate and that she will embrace the ‘new you’ but you’ll have to let things happen at her pace rather than yours. Show her it’s going to be fun and not a threat.
Amanda

[Donnadcd]

Wow, everyone’s on your case aren’t they!
Sharing your secret may well lead to new opportunities to express yourself, but you do need to take your partner on this trip with you. I hope you are fortunate and that she will embrace the ‘new you’ but you’ll have to let things happen at her pace rather than yours. Show her it’s going to be fun and not a threat.
Amanda

I thought about it a little and - yeah, the way I first worded it came out wrong. For that I deserved some criticism.

My marriage and relationship with my wife are definitely my top priorities, but suppressing the feelings I've had all these years needed to come out one way or the other. Not being able to express myself has been slowly eating me up.

As has been stated before - had I told her about Donna a long time ago, things might be different. But it's just the getting it out in the open makes me feel like a huge weight's been taken off my shoulders - I truly wanted her to know about me. Unfortunately, some damage has been done. I just hope I can mend it, or at least make it a little more palatable.

I definitely plan to make every effort to try to give her every opportunity to understand. I truly hope she is involved in letting me explore my true desires. But only she can decide if it's something she wants to be a part of or not.

[Teri Jean]

Maybe she needs assurance that she is your wife and you want it to remain that way. Take her out on a real date as you did early in your relationship, possibly to a supper club or dinner theater. Make it her night and unless she brings up the subject keep the night about her. Your marriage is to important for it to end over a misunderstanding and she needs to see that from you. Good luck girl and my thought are with you. Hugs and Kisses :-) Keli

[Natasha Carlo]

I'm not surprised that she isn't understanding.

People are always skeptical/afraid of things they don't understand. Take the time out to explain things to her. Show her that you love her just as much as dressing is part of what makes you, YOU.

I'd bet we all tried to stop dressing at one time or another, and we just realized that it's not something you can stop doing, like a bad habit of biting nails. Dressing is just another part of you. Show her that. And show her that it's never going to change your love.

Plus, if you two wear the same size, explain to her how her warddrobe options can increase! And if you two wear the same shoe size OMG! I'd be jealous!

[Tamara Croft]

Plus, if you two wear the same size, explain to her how her warddrobe options can increase! And if you two wear the same shoe size OMG! I'd be jealous!:brolleyes: seriously... :brolleyes:

[ChristineRenee]

Well if she doesn't seem too understanding about it...then maybe you should try communicating with her about it rather than just going fast forward with your dressing. Just saying.

[Vicki65]

I told my wife before we married. Figured it best to do it then before we did things it was harder to undo.

At first she was a little weirded out - big shock I guess that her big butch hairy assed bloke liked prancing around in a dress! :D I took things very easy, didn't dress for a while, gave her a chance to get her head round it and decide if she could live with the way I am.

We've been married five years now, and whilst she doesn't take an active part (and I'm not sure I want her to - I'm no Jessica Alba in a spandex catsuit!) she appreciates it's part of me, is happy for me to do what I need to do, and loves me all the more for being honest and trusting her with my secret.

Be open, be patient, and be ready to compromise if necessary.

[tampacd]

This was a huge bomb to drop on her. After the shock wears off, she'll have A LOT of questions for you. From my experience, (my girlfriend found my clothes, I had to fess up so she wouldn't think I was cheating.) my SO was afraid I was going to turn gay, or otherwise becoming some other person that she doesn't know. What you'll need to communicate is that this is a part of your personality and it doesn't change how you feel about her. In my case, I had to be a little persistent in showing her that this is not going away, but spent a lot of time talking with her while I was dressed en drab. She eventually warmed up to it and it was really cool, I hope the same for you. You'll need to be VERY patient and help her understand that you're still the same person, that she didn't accidentally marry a pervert.

[Tina B.]

Donna, I know it is a great weight off of you to have it out in the open, but the weight you just removed, you put on your wife, now that she knows your secret it becomes her secret, whether she wanted it or not, that's a big load you put on her, so if she is important to you, then you need to give her time to adjust to the weight of it, and see if she is willing to share the burden of it, before you go on to the next step. stepping out of the darkness does not mean it is safe to step into the fog. Many a marriage has been lost on the rocks not seen because of the PINK FOG. Don't lose your way, by running to fast into the unknown.
Tina

[Kayla_CD]

However it got out, it's out. And you stand on the cusp of something new. Make sure that it's the best thing for both you and your wife so that the two of you can happily move forward.

[Nicole Erin]

However it got out, it's out. And you stand on the cusp of something new. Make sure that it's the best thing for both you and your wife so that the two of you can happily move forward.

hmm, finally someone made a response that wasn't giving Donnadcd a hard time.

And Donnadcd, don't feel bad, cause anytime someone posts about a trouble with their wife, people usually gang up on the poster. That is why it is not a good idea to discuss marriage problems around here.

But yeah just give her a bit of time, you two will figure something out. Some wives kind of let it slide, some don't want to see it even if they know it is happening, and some wives actually participate.
Just give it some time and explore options. My wife and I have been thru the ups and downs and ultimately, we came to terms we both were happy and agreed upon [it is specific to our situation]

You will too :)

[gennee]

My wife found my stuff one day, so I told her everything. I was going to tell her later but it came sooner than expected. One thing I was concerned about was how this was going to affect my marriage. She was shocked :eek: at first. In time she has come to accept dressing as a part of me. If dressing was to affect my marriage, I'd stop dressing at home.

The fact that I told her that I loved her helped ease her concerns. Now she'll purchase clothing for me from time to time. We share coats, skirts, blouses, sweaters, and dresses.

Gennee

:)

[Donnadcd]

You are all so right - It's going to be a very long road to travel on this one. She is struggling with the whole notion of finding out and where things might lead. Thanks for all the input - even the criticism - I needed it.

[Holly]

Donna you are doing the right thing. Take your cues from your wife. Be honest in your responses to her questions. Let her set the pace. Gather some material to share with her when she shows an interest... better her to be exposed to the material you gather than some of the mis-information that is out there about CD/TG persons. Most of all, keep reassuring her that your love and passion for her continues unabated!

[Di]

Keep talking to her and remind her you are the same person she has always loved and you love her very much AND were afraid to tell her AND from here on out no secrets.
When you think she is ready maybe tell her about this place where she will have other gg's to talk to. Best Wishes:hugs: