I need some advice...

[Andrea85]

..


Well, I really don't know how to put my thoughts into words right now, so if I seem to be jumping back and forth, I apologize. Anyway, I'll try to start from the beggining. I always wanted to be a girl ever since I was little. Well, I ended up suppressing the urges for a while when I was younger, and they went away. Then when I lived with an ex gf, the urges came back, and when she was at work and I was home, I would try on her things. After we split up, I just supressed it again. I still had the urge that time. It was stronger than the first time I felt that way. After that, I met a friend that coaxed me back into crossdressing again. It felt great to do it again. When she left I couldn't anymore, but Not being able to made me want to feel more femme that time. After a while, I got up the courage to buy my first bit of femme clothes myself. It was nerveracking but worth it. I kinda dressed from time to time when my parents were gone away for the weekend or at work. I wanted to dress more. And then I met my fiance. I didn't think she would be with me if she knew, so I kinda went into denial about it all for a while. After we'd been together for a while, I started getting clothes and dressing every once and a while. Anyway, lets jump forward a bit. She found out and we're still together. Ive stopped a couple time since we've been together and every time, my urge to dress has gotten stronger. Also, I've actually begun to want to transition. Since she and I moved to my parents to pay off debt and for me to save up money to become a CNA, I've not been able to dress as much. And I've had the urges to transition even more than I ever thought. Does anyone know why I'm like this, or thinking the way I am? I'm so stressed that I don't know what to do. If I transition completely, I seriously doubt she would stay with me. But if I don't transition, I don't know if I can be happy with myself. Does anyone have any advice? I need something right about now...

[MJ]

you need to see a counselor who deals with gender issues and you have to do this before you go any further with your relationship. she needs to know about you.
you could be a transsexual and until you deal with that your life will be a mess

[Di]

Hon it is a part of you it will never really go away for long so do not make promises you can't keep on that account.
As far as transitioning ....no one can really answer that but YOU.
I agree with MJ try to find a counselor who deals with gender issues. The stress you are feeling might only be from not being able to dress in the situation you are in now. Best Wishes. Di

[docrobbysherry]

If there r ANY posts here, at DON'T advise u to see a counselor, or therapist, I'll be surprised!

The reasons u need to see an experienced counselor is, THEY will know the rite questions to ask! Without asking the rite questions, even if u think u have answers, they won't be the rite ones!:doh:

[Sandra Dunn]

You have gone through several purges and each time the need to get in touch with your female side returns, it returns with a stronger passion. You could go full TS, then you might only need to go full time TG without the SRS.

The first thing to do, which you've started already, is to talk it over and over with your SO. If you're not able to seek out a TG knowledgeable counselor then start reading a lot of books concerning TG issues. Many girls dress full time without going through the SRS and have found their place and peace. I would suggest you try going full time non-op TG first for about a year, many counselors will suggest the same thing.

Each of us must find our own place in the TG spectrum and the best thing to do is to take steps not leaps towards your own center of balance. Another thing that will help is to take bellydancing lessons and learn about your body and how it moves. Either way you go you need to know how to be a woman and not just look like one standing there. You need to move, behave, act and think like a woman.

Attitude

HUGS Sandra

[Andrea85]

You have gone through several purges and each time the need to get in touch with your female side returns, it returns with a stronger passion. You could go full TS, then you might only need to go full time TG without the SRS.

The first thing to do, which you've started already, is to talk it over and over with your SO. If you're not able to seek out a TG knowledgeable counselor then start reading a lot of books concerning TG issues. Many girls dress full time without going through the SRS and have found their place and peace. I would suggest you try going full time non-op TG first for about a year, many counselors will suggest the same thing.

Each of us must find our own place in the TG spectrum and the best thing to do is to take steps not leaps towards your own center of balance. Another thing that will help is to take bellydancing lessons and learn about your body and how it moves. Either way you go you need to know how to be a woman and not just look like one standing there. You need to move, behave, act and think like a woman.

Attitude

HUGS Sandra





I actually had a friend suggest dressing full time, but its not just the clothes that satisfy me. It's the closest thing I can get to being a woman. It;s not the look, I wanna be the real deal.

[Carin]

Does your fiancee understand much about TG stuff? Is she under the illusion that it is a passing fad. If you plan to marry her, then she needs to know the full spectrum of what being TG means. You owe it to her and to the future of your relationship.

..
If I transition completely, I seriously doubt she would stay with me. But if I don't transition, I don't know if I can be happy with myself. Does anyone have any advice?
If you are not happy with yourself, do you really thing you can participate in a fulfilling relationship. This is never going to go away. Do not be selfish in this, only thinking of your self. Think of her. Allow her to make an informed choice.