Can a counselor misconstrue fear for not being a TS?

[tgirlinva]

I am going to see a counselor soon, yay! But I am so fearful of going, fearful of transitioning, fearful of losing everything. I am also afraid that I won't be able to get HRT b/c my counselor may misconstrue my fear for not wanting it enough, not really being a TS, etc... But in fact, I'm just fearful of the unknown.

[GypsyKaren]

Just be firm in sharing your feelings and don't allow yourself to be steered away from your beliefs, you should be fine.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Sharon]

If your counselor has any experience with gender issues, he or she will know your fears are common. Besides, all you need to do is explain what you mean when you express your fears.

Good luck and remember that a therapist is on your side.

[Zenith]

This is really comforting to know that we are not alone on these things. Try and relax, (that's what I tell myself), although it can be hard. If you are like me, you are probably an emotional trainwreck until you get in to see someone...:sad:

[Rachel A V]

I think a good therapist should not "steer" you in any one direction, but only help you see where you are going so you can steer yourself. :2c:

[AKAMichelle]

You wouldn't be human if you didn't have fears. Fears don't mean that you aren't TS. They only mean that you realize the heavy price that such a decision will demand. You need to talk through those fears and find ways of dealing with them. Your therapist is there to help you. Let them.

Besides, the worst thing that you could do is lie to yourself and your therapist and have the surgeries only to learn that it was a horrible mistake for you. Trust your therapist and be honest with them. You have a long way to go before you are mentally ready for transition. You need to work through those fears. Living full time as a woman will be very stressful if you aren't prepared properly for those events.

So take your time. Learn everything you can. Find some pre-op / post-op TS to ask questions. I talked with on on Saturday night and she said something very interesting. Every TS knows that they pass the torch from one to another as they complete their transition. People will ask questions of the ones who have been through it to learn what to expect. That knowledge will then be passed on when it becomes your turn to help others coming after you. I hope you find the answers that you are searching for.

[Schatten Lupus]

If your therapist wont allow to transition because you are afraid, then get a new counselor, because I can only call one that would do such a thing incompetent.
And if you aren't at least alittle afraid, then chances are you haven't done enough research, or any research at all.

[GypsyKaren]

So take your time. Learn everything you can. Find some pre-op / post-op TS to ask questions. I talked with on on Saturday night and she said something very interesting. Every TS knows that they pass the torch from one to another as they complete their transition. People will ask questions of the ones who have been through it to learn what to expect. That knowledge will then be passed on when it becomes your turn to help others coming after you. I hope you find the answers that you are searching for.

That's what I'm here for, I always make myself available to anyone with questions that maybe a post-op can answer.

GK :star:

[Miss Tessa]

That is definitely what they might think. I have had TS friends say similar things to me when I was so fearful in the beginning.

I used to cry and complain everyday to my two TS girls who lived with me that I was going thru so much pain and stuff.

She said, "maybe transition isn't for you" but she was wrong.


I have always had bad nerves. I have terrible anxiety all my life. I should be on Xanax or another benzodiazapine, but cannot take it due to the fact I am a recovering drug addict and can't take addictive drugs other than the methadone I take everyday at my clinic.

I still have bad anxiety after transitioning. Sometimes I shake uncontrollably.

[Katrina]

...I am also afraid that I won't be able to get HRT b/c my counselor may misconstrue my fear for not wanting it enough...

Wanting or needing?

I think it is normal to be completely freaked out by the whole thing. This is a big deal and when you are ready to lose everything you have, then you are ready to transition - that's what my doc told me. I'm almost there myself.

[Steph Butterfield]

Hi Tgirlinva,

A gender specialist will have seen it all before, the nervous types are no more true TS than the confident ones, only you know how much you really want this.

I wish you luck

:hugs:


Stephanie

[gagirl1]

when you are ready to lose everything you have, then you are ready to transition - that's what my doc told me. I'm almost there myself.

are you serious? i don't want to lose my family. i can see losing friends, ok, i'll make more. but your therapist wouldn't let you transition until you were prepared to be completely dropped by everyone you love/loves you?

[GypsyKaren]

It's a sad fact that you may lose a great deal by going forward, and that includes the loss of family, it's something you have to be prepared to deal with.

Karen Starlene :star:

[gagirl1]

i understand that. it sound more like a goal than an obstacle. that kinda caught me off guard.

[tgirlinva]

Wanting or needing?

I think it is normal to be completely freaked out by the whole thing. This is a big deal and when you are ready to lose everything you have, then you are ready to transition - that's what my doc told me. I'm almost there myself.

That is one of my biggest "ropes" holding me back from transitioning. I can deal with losing friends or whatever, but family is like going through heart surgery without any anesthesia. Why do we have to choose? How is a willingness to lose your family any indication that you are ready to transition? To me, it's complete BS, thinking twice before transitioning in light of your family situation makes you selfLESS, not selfish.

[melimelo]

That is one of my biggest "ropes" holding me back from transitioning. I can deal with losing friends or whatever, but family is like going through heart surgery without any anesthesia. Why do we have to choose? How is a willingness to lose your family any indication that you are ready to transition? To me, it's complete BS, thinking twice before transitioning in light of your family situation makes you selfLESS, not selfish.

Let's talk about the 2 levels of family. First, your parents and siblings. If you have a good relationship with them, talk to them often of things important to you and to them, then they might be shocked for a while, but may well turn out to accept this new reality, partly because they may realize how it makes you feel better. I have a non-existent relationship with both my mother and father (now separated), but I told my sister and she was quite receptive.

The second level, the more tricky, is your SO and children. This is where you have to be ready for heart-wrenching consequences. Although he/she may love you, telling your SO may completely break the relationship. Or she may accept it totally. Or swing between the 2. It's very hard to predict. That's why you have to be ready for the worst...

In a sense, I find it so damn unfair to finally have a glimpse of what could make you happier, but then to realize that many persons you love will have to suffer if you do it. Might as well be angry at the rain for making me wet...

Just my :2c:

Melanie

[Katrina]

Melanie, you are totally right. It stinks that when you find something that should make you happy, it will potentially make those that you love miserable. I struggle with that daily.

I don't think my doc said that a willingness to lose my family was a barrier to my transitioning, he just said that I needed to be prepared for that possibility. I know several TS girls that lost everybody they cared about when they started down the road - that included important people like mom, dad, brothers, and sisters. It is a very real possibility that you need to prepare for.

[StaceyJane]

Fear is keping me from transitioning. It's something that I have talked to my therapist about. We are looking at how to deal with that. Having fear doesn't mean I'm not TS. It just means I have somethings to deal with.

Stacey :)