A very odd day

[Cissy Suzie]

I had the chance to dress up today, it is a rare thing to have two days in a row.

I was taking a few pix, when I got an IM on my AIM from a friend I have known for 10 years. She is a bi woman and has always been very open about her sexuality, I told her about Suzie years ago and she just said well we are "different" aren't we?

Anyway she asked if she could call me on the phone, I said of course, she called and was in tears. She had just broken off an 8 year relationship with her girlfriend. We talked for at least two hours, her crying, me saying anything I could think of to try to make her feel better.

She finally stopped crying and we had a little nervous conversation, then hung up.

I took a few more pix, and when I looked at them I couldn't get past this one. I did crop it but it is pretty much me, and what I see scares me.

I see that aloneness my friend is feeling tonite and I wonder, are we doomed to be so totally different? I see that in my eyes and it scares me a bit. I am not an unhappy person but I see that separtion that only we, and our sisters like my friend will ever know.

http://www.geocities.com/cissysuzie/may30.jpg

[xam]

I just don't know what to say!

[Mira]

What you see is the truth. Aloneness in a sea of humanity. Feel it, live it. Let it flow over you and through you. At this moment your life, you have tasted a bit of what it means to be human. I cry for your friend, her suffering. In the end, we are only who we are, we feel all that we feel.

Your picture, sad as it may be, is inspirational in how real life is. This is a moment in time, a day to always be remembered. It will only come once, and you are here, on these forums chroniclizing, recording this instance that will never be repeated.

I am honored to be among the few to share in this with my limited understanding. Thank you. Life is but a flickering flame in the eternal struggle of understanding and acceptance. This is a day you've drawn us all one step closer to that goal. We are alive.

[Tristen Cox]

Interestingly enough I see that in my eyes even though I am smiling. There's always that look of being beyond the regular boring life most people take for granted anyway. Viva la difference. Why because it is our right and our freedom to do so. Lots of things we like may cause pain, but not being who we are can strip our soul of it's wealth. Be who you are. No reason to be ashamed of that no matter where you are or who you are.

[Sigrid]

I see that aloneness my friend is feeling tonite and I wonder, are we doomed to be so totally different? I see that in my eyes and it scares me a bit. I am not an unhappy person but I see that separtion that only we, and our sisters like my friend will ever know.

Suzie,

That is, indeed, a very poignant picture. Now have a look at your avatar. Did you feel so doomed when you took that picture? We all feel that separation from time to time, but then we also get feel the absolute joy in discovering the other person within us. Something very few others will ever experience in their lifetimes.

~Sigrid

[Elysia]

We all feel that separation from time to time

you have tasted a bit of what it means to be human.
This is a poignant picture. It captures a feeling we can all relate to. I agree with what has been said. In addition, I’d say this is not a feeling unique to cross-dressers or even, I’d guess, to people who are from obvious minorities; it is part of the human condition.

To recognize it, to be in touch with it, and to express it, directly and honestly, requires a sensitivity and artistry that maybe more common in our community—after all we do go to great lengths to express ourselves authentically—but the feeling, that of being separate, lonely, misunderstood, it’s something everyone experiences.

That you’ve managed to capture it, well… that make you an artist. Cissy, I’m moved by your art. It is a wonderful picture.

I hope you do not stay in this feeling too long. I also like pictures in which you are happy.

[Cissy Suzie]

Thank you all for your support and advice. My friend sent long email last night saying she was sorry for bumming my day out. I replied that there is no bummer, I was glad to be there for her.

Yeah, well maybe I had a little too much vodka yesterday and just got on the pitty pot for a while. Like I say I am not an unhappy camper, I just felt bad for a little sister and let it get the best of me for a while.

Now ... as for Tristen ... I may be a lot older, but I am beginning to believe we may be some kind of twisted sisters, or something. It is uncanny, the similarity of the look.

Love ya all ! :)

[Holly]

Being able to emphasize with a hurting friend is one of the joys(?) we get to experience as we become more and more in tune with the more feminine nature. Sissy, it shows me that you're growing.

[Priscilla1018]

I hope it was'nt the Swedish stuff,Stolie is much better.

[Cissy Suzie]

I hope it was'nt the Swedish stuff,Stolie is much better.

Hee hee! I keep a liter of Grey Goose out for company, but I also keep a liter of Fris in my freezer, it is Danish and is the only freeze distilled vodka available.

Goose is good ... Fris is just as good at a fraction of the price!!! Woo Hoo!!!

[Deanna2]

They do say that your eyes are the window to your soul.

Whilst I make eye contact with people to whom I'm speaking, I don't know that I'm ever 'looking' at their eyes. Maybe I should. You've given me something to think about.

Luvya