I'm trying to be an Ex - Crossdresser!

[KateSpade83]

Ok people, I'm trying to quit crossdressing! I guess the biggest source of bad karma with my crossdressing was it's use for fetish - so I'm trying to stop that. What influenced me? I went to Barnes & Noble and read a book about Hell, then bought 2 books about Hell written by Bill Wiese and a book about Heaven. I'm scared STRAIGHT from reading about the authors experience of 23 minutes in Hell. So I got to God and reflected on my life and said I gotta try to quit crossdressing!

Looking back on my life, I guess all my paranoid episodes were brought to me by God to warn me of his displeasure with my crossdressing. So how am I gonna quit? I'm not gonna purge! I purged 5 times before and always came back. Plus now I tally that I probably spent over $14,000 in clothes, but now these clothes can fit a beautiful woman my size! So I tell God to tolerate my possession of clothes - that I won't use them for fetish, but I might occassionally break down and would like to see myself in a beautiful skirt suit! - That's all I'll do!

So I'm trying to convert myself! I'm gonna transfer my clothes to a beautiful woman my size and adore her in my clothes! So I'm not gonna suffer the pain of a purge!

My progress today? I went to Victorias Secret and cashed in a coupon for a free panty - I claimed it for a future girlfriend, - why not, it's free! And I'm not gonna wear it!

I did enjoy this site and I learned a lot about crossdressing from it. It was the main site I looked at every day. But now I'm not posting much anymore or as frequently as I used too. I did like making Pic threads and getting feedback, but I hardly ever broke 1 page of comments. So I guess you people didn't think I was beautiful enough, but when I looked in the mirror I was stunned by my beauty and would say to myself, "This is how I'd look if I was born a woman!"

Well, being a woman is futile, and now I guess I'm gonna try to be more of a man and have good karma and luck with girl.

Yeah, I had to rant about myself and my latest feelings, maybe you might not see me much here anymore, but I do love female impersonation and like looking at the Pic Gallery.

So now I don't know what the future holds. I am a reluctant crossdresser that struggles with crossdressing. I'm just trying to hold back now. Are you guys gonna miss me? I don't know if I'll stick around here, maybe I'll post less, I did enjoy this place.

Maybe I'm going through a phase?

[JenniferR771]

Cd comes and goes. You look great in a skirt suit. I love suits. Maybe you went too far in the past few months. It is ok to be manly for a while. Limit yourself. You are on the right track

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Kate, you don,t go to Hell for being a crossdresser, thats reserved for people who do really bad things [i.e. Hitler and people like that]

Crossdressing is innocent and harms no one and if you,re religous you will also believe God created us all, crossdressers included, which means it can,t be wrong in his/her eyes!!

Personally i expect you are just going through a phase caused by stress related to your recent employment problems.

Take as long as you need Kate, many of us go through phases of rejecting and denying our crossdressing, but don,t purge your clothes as i,m sure one day in the future you,ll need them again and you did look good in them.

Remember you are who you are for a reason, God created you that way and i,m sure he/she had a good reason for it.

Take care :hugs:

[Karren H]

Well Jessy... Katey. Your off to a good start since your here talking to us!! .if I were you, I'd seriously thinking about deleting my ID here and on MUT (I can take care of that if you like?) And never ever coming back. Cold turkey.. No looking back!! And don't respond to any of these replies because you know and I know that we WILL talk you into staying..

[Jilmac]

Kate, whatever decision you make has to be yours alone, but as Deborah saidyou won't go to hell for crossdressing. Hell is reserved for the truly evil and there is nothing evil about crossdressing. I can fully understand your feelings about purging as I purged more times than I can count. There is never any way a true crossdresser can quit because there is something hard wired into our being that will always make us crave our feminity. Perhaps some soul searching is what you need for the time being, re read those books but read between the lines. Kate Spade will always be a part of you, maybe you just have to know her better.

[Christinedreamer]

You can find all kinds of supposedly authoritative interpretations of Biblical teachings and lake of eternal fire prweachers. Too bad they never REALLY learned what Jesus taught.

God gave 10 commandments. Not found among them is anything to do with dressing. Jesus never mentioned cross dressing or homosexuality or anything of the sort. Jesus told us to come to Him JUST AS WE ARE.

All that silliness in Deuteronomy and Leviticus are just time worn and discounted rules given by political/church elders to maintain control of the uneducated masses for their own glory. If you readboth, you willfind outrageous and intensely silly prohibitions and rules that make zero sense yet they are still read and used as a fear factor for people for 2000 years.

Priests wear very lacy and frilly cassocks etc and layers of flowing robes- are they guilty of crossdressing and if not, why not. (never did understand about all that frilly stuff on a priest)

You cannot earn a place in hell (which IMHO does not exist in the literal sense)or in Heaven. Heaven is a gift from God and he won't take it back because you like to wear soft pretty things. God does not bother with playing Mr. Blackwell. If wearing wigs or lace etc. was a determining factor, then all our American and English ancestors are populating hell right now. God did not design human fashion and could care less about it. He made us naked.

You say you are worried about going to hell for dressing yet you admitted you would lie about who you were buying panties for. Lying is against the Ten Commandments, dressing up is not.

Relax, do what you enjoy and trust that you are in no danger form wearing a dress. You can do more harm trying to ignore those internal yearnings than accepting and enjoying them.

At peace with God (He talks, I listen)

Christine

[Ballerina]

I would like to impart with a bit of wisdom that has stricken me over the last year. No, I'm not trying to convice you to stay a CDer, that's your own choice, but living in fear of what lies in the beyond is something that should not be.

I have begun to ask myself one question relating to religion, and one question only, "if god condems me to hell for being a happy and laws-abiding denizen on His world, who should I feel sorry for? Myself, or Him?"

Living in fear and being overcome by it makes life not worth living in itself. Enjoy your time here and don't worry about what's beyond. If God truely is the forgiving entity that everyone makes Him out to be, then he will surely understand.

[Nicole Erin]

OK is this serious?
hahahahahahahahahha.... :heehee:

Kate, you are not going to hell for CD'ing. It is clothes. You are worrying too much.
And those books, that guy never spent no 23 minutes in hell. Well maybe he got stuck in an elevator with Roseanne Arnold as she was doing jumping jacks and he heard the cable about to snap, THAT would be hell but anyways...

Quit worrying and just enjoy your CD'ing. ;)

[Kate Simmons]

Yeah I know Kate. I struggle with it too sometimes. Mostly because I get to be too much of a fuss budget and start getting too serious. When that happens, I know it's time to take a break (originally suggested by Kieron). I let the body hair grow and maybe a muzzy and I kind of enjoy it really as it gives me a different perspective. When I do come back, it's usually not my doing but at the urging of friends. Last time it was all these guys and gals wanting to see Salandra again. I mean geez, what's a person to do after something like that? Anyway, maybe just take a break for awhile and see what happens. We really do like you Hon, so stick around.:)

[sterling12]

Your putting us on, right? Can't believe some fairy tale about 23 minutes (mind you it was exactly 23 minutes) in Hell would cause you to do the mental equivalent of trying to cut off your arm with a pocket knife.

For most of us 23 minutes or an eternity in Hell would be brought about by denying just who we are. If God made us all, he/she/it also made us transgendered. It's not a "cross to bear," it's just who you are. Surely a Merciful God wouldn't let such a trivial thing stand in the way of the two of you having a relationship. Rather than reading claptrap from Evangelicals, why not find a more tolerant church. Someplace where they don't worry about your appearance, someplace where they don't believe in a God who always wants to punish you for your supposed sins.

But, I said that you were having fun with us. All this other writing is meant for people who believe such things. I am waiting for your reply that says the equivalent of: "Hee-hee, I was only fooling with you girls." "I didn't really mean it!" You got the free panties, I'll just bet they are in your size...not your now or future Girlfriend's. You need to stop hanging out at The Bookstore, and if you can't, hang out in The Do-it-Yourself Section. Too much of that other stuff turns off the brain.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kristinacd55]

Got news for you, you'll be back & cding stronger than ever!! Thought provoking post though!!

[MJ]

sorry but some people should get a clue. as i am full time and got to and also work at a church there's no way in hell I'm going to hell just because i cross-dress after all he made me this way in the first place :brolleyes:

[trisha59]

With the shape that the world is in now I can't believe that God really cares if I slip in to a pair of pantyhose. And if she did I'm not very interested in being judged by her when this ride is over

[KateSpade83]

Ok, this POST 1000! for me! I wanted it to be a Pic Thread of me in my best PLEATED skirt suits! - It took me a long time to collect a DKNY, Calvin Klein, Jones NY, and Laura Scott one! - They're all classic beauties because it's so rare finding nice pleated skirt suits in stores! Yeah, I am a treasure trove of beautiful skirt suits, and I'm confident I'm the CD member with the most of them here!

Ok, here's a long story -

My cding started with looking at a Sears catalog - I got turned on seeing a pretty woman in a bra and bikini and had to try one on - in 6th grade. Was minor occassional experimentation up through 3rd year HS.

I had a weird circumstance once where I went to the basement with my moms stuff and then I smelled roses and felt like Mother Mary spanked me for crossdressing. Then she changed me into a woman and said this is how I'd look in the future if I became a woman. I asked if I would have children and a family and she said no, so I said I don't want to be a woman.

Then I had a bad interference with my first attempted girlfriend in HS freshman year. I got frustrated. Then I felt God changed me into a girl and I was going to school as a girl and I was wondering why I was being treated as a girl but I didn't realise I was a girl. But bad thing happen if you go to the guy's washroom as a girl, so God changed me back into a man. And then I wonder, was this just a too vivid dream or did it actually happen?

Then Sr yr H.S. - a real pretty girl in school, - the sister of the hottest girl in HS - flirted with me and turned me on so much I was inspired to be "all man" and the best man I can ever be. I was becoming so hot, secret admirers and girls would call me on the telephone and be speechless. And I became so attractive I was inadvertantly stealing the girls from other guys, one was 2nd runner up Miss Teen USA and her boyfriend was pissed she was getting attracted to me so he got my telephone number and made some girls give prank telephone calls to me and they recorded it and made a fool of me in HS. A long story short, my love didn't work out, I tried being a hot socialite but was torn down and called a schmuck and that I couldn't talk. I got majorly bummed and dischanted with socialite talking, dating woman, and just lost total confidence in doing that. That's when a nasty thought came into my mind, that I can turn to crossdressing [and fetish] to make me happy instead of girls. I guess God didn't like what happened to me, and somehow the music of that age reflected this - [Cher - If I could turn back time, Bon Jovi - You give love a bad name, Bonnie Tyler - A total eclipse of the heart]. People said Jesse, why are you causing such a commotion? I said I'm not to blame, and if it rains on Graduation Day - God will justify me. - Yeah graduation day started clear, but my curse came true and it rained so hard to prove God was angry with what happened to me. This HS incident is mainly why I fell to crossdressing, and I was so socially tramatized I couldn't socialize and talk well or get along in freshman year college. I just wanted to hide in an Apt an not live in a dorm. And this stress and traumatization affected my grades and popularity. So God didn't like that I was "destroyed" in HS. He even made girls who were inspired and wanting me in HS - see what damge was done in that I would be a major future crossdresser. God told me in my heart eating at school lunches - would you want your classmates too see your future as a crossdresser - I said yeah, I sure won't mind. And it was really weird as the girls were saying where did you get such beaufitul clothes? And then love pity started coming in like they didn't want me to be a gay crossdresser. And then my first paranoia episode in English class - long story, God was tlaking the future through my English Teacher, asked me about revenge about my classmate Jose who was sitting next to me - maybe he was putting me down and cursing me - I said to God, "La Bamba," live and let live. But that was also the name of the movie at time time where Richie Valens died in a plane crash. Well, years later - Jose who was cursing me died in a plane crash before he became a lawyer for his JD. - God's revenge? But I didn't mean to curse anyone.

Then Jr yr college was when I first seriously started crossdressing. I bought a merrywidow, and used it for fetish. Then bad karma started happening like people knew what I did. I felt a pure white dove bird outside my Apt cry. And then a guy passing by calls me a jag off. And then just bad gay karme continued in my future. Short story - it ruined my Sr Design class, and maybe ruined the start of my career.

Long career story - crossdressing always popped up in all my Chicago job where I was called gay - and this affected my employment. Always bad karma that they would know, and I never lasted long.

Other worse karma - my paranoid episodes. Long story, but in short it was as if I was seeing how I'd be tortured in Hell for crossdressing, or maybe God was testing my fidelity to his faith. Weirdest instance was a "night of the soul" - God actually showed me how I looked in his eyes! It went paranoid was my mind told me to wander the street of my Wicker Park neighborhood. As I passed this used clothing store - I SAW A MANNEQUIN OF ME! I was cross-eyed, and on the floor behind me was useless raglike clothes on the floor. Looking back, I took this to mean that God sees me as a crosseyed crossdressing man into useless clothes that didn't offer much in life. - Is that how God will judge me on Judgement Day? - So maybe I gotta change this!

Um yeah, there's lots more to rant about.

But I can't quit cold turkey. I guess I'll just adjust to doing crossdressing less. And I miss a good social life because of crossdressing.

I wonder now if good karma will hit me. Today, 2 dudes said of me, that looks sharp! - I never had dude comments in a long time. And passing by a pretty enough girl - she gave me a gy haand like she knew I was once gay but liked me?

Well, I'm hoping for better karma.

[Mirani]

Faith - the ability to believe in something unproven.

Religion - man made rules ... usually to maintain power .. and literally MAN made .. amazing how many religions demote women to 2nd class citizens.

Kate, take a breath. It is only one man's interpretation of a perceived incident. Why believe a man who had a nightmare and claims it to be a mesage from God.
Oh .. and by gthe way .. the God of Bill Weise doesnt believe in Karma. His God offers a gift of salvation .. the promise being you dont get what you deserve thanks to the intervention of the Messiah.
No I am not a Christian .. just happen to have studied The Bible as a student. (some years ago, I admit).

[jazmine]

Hey Kate.........It's God. I just randomly picked a member here to respond to you. Any other way, would have caused more of a stir then I'm willing to start at the moment. Listen Kate....your beautiful. You're also a good person. I know it is difficult to decipher truths from human-edited religions. If your feeling lost and confused, look within yourself. I don't see how nylons and two inch pumps interfere with acts as bold as love.

peace be the journey......and sorry Jazmine for using your profile.

[suzy cool]

Kate. You know why you are having such a bad time on this forum and life in general? You appear to be suffering from some sort of mild autism that prevents you from processing information the way that everyone else does. Your central processor is not doing what everyone else's is doing. So you are confused and frustrated and wondering why people seem to be against you. It has nothing to do with being a CD or not. You're an engineer, a very intelligent person, so just take this information and ponder on it.

[Wendy me]

Kate go get dressed..............lol you did not even make 2 hours with out posting ............

[Sarah...]

You know, I'd say take a deep breath and count to 10 before doing anything. Your original post sounds really mixed up. There's some really important stuff there that needs addressing. Such as considering it being futile to be a woman (though I guess you meant that as a singular assessment of your own position). However there's also some stuff that is perhaps not so important. Like, it doesn't really matter if there is more than a page's worth of comments on your pic threads or not.

Some introspection and perhaps physically talking to someone on a one to one basis might help? Just a view...

Sarah...

[angelfire]

I have a fairly decent collection of books on hell as a matter of fact, and I can say with a fair amount of certainty that crossdressing isn't going to put you there. After all, it isn't harming anyone.

And it isn't quitting if you still come back to it every now and then. You can't quit just some of the time if you think that is the problem. Cold turkey would be the way to go. The withdrawals may suck though. It is doable if you have enough will and determination though, despite what people say.

Anyway, If you truly want to quit and change your lifestyle, I wish you luck. If you truly set your mind to it, I'm sure you can accomplish it. If you change your mind though, we'll still be here. :hugs:

[Schatten Lupus]

The body is a temple. Take care of it. This includes the mind as well as body. If dressing as a woman makes you feel mentally better, and less stressed, then you are merely performing "temple maintenance."
But if that is your decision, I wish you luck on your new path.

[Vicki65]

Hope I dont alienate anyone here, but I struggle to believe in 'the omnipotent being', so struggle too with the concept of lucifer / hell etc too.

My outlook has always been 'hurt no-one - respect others - make society better'. I would like to think if there was a God, then he or she would work along the same lines.

By his own rules, he cant hate you for what you ARE. You dont choose to be the way you are. If he is your creator, then you are meant to be the way you are.

You aren't harming anyone. Stop worrying please. :hugs:

[KateSpade83]

I no longer get SSDI, Medicare, or free medicine. So I might become paranoid again. Latest thing that happened to me while shopping in drag - I saw a black man carrying a big gold purse. Then I interpreted this as - the devil has a big hold on me through my big collection of womens clothes. I had a sleepless night talking my heart out to God not to let me purge as a requirement, and that I can convert these clothes to dress up a pretty woman my size - like Britney Spears! - My exact size! So I asked God not to hold possession of these clothes against me.

Well, yeah, I'm trying to quit, but still wonder why I check out the skirt suit sales and can't let a beautiful skirt suit not be bought! I gradually adjusted to shopping less by not buying ebay clothes and saving a collection of the auction pics with prices - and I have a big collection of pictures to admire of clothes I didn't buy ! [Becasue they were not super perfect enough]

Then a bought a real portable Casio Exilim camera - and I window shop. Instead of buying two beautiful suits - 1 pant & 1 skirt suit at $200 each - I went out in drag, tried them on in the fitting room, and took pics of me wearing them. So now instead of possessing them I'll admire pics of me in them. Saved $400

And then I'm looking for a change in my weekend Saturdays. Instead of spending the day thrift shopping for womens clothes and going to the mall, I'd like something better and different. Like, I really don't have a good social life and friends. My crossdressing hurts my social confidence.

[Nicole Erin]

Kate go get dressed..............lol you did not even make 2 hours with out posting ............
Wendy, you are cruel. :heehee:

NOW Kate on a serious note about religion - there are MANY beliefs on it. Some God-based religions believe there is not hell. Maybe google "the truth about hell" and get an interesting perspective... for once it is good news...

Thing is, some teachings can sound very convincing but no one knows for sure. All sides can really push their point and make it believable.

OK look here is what I have learned, please take this as my opinion only and not as the gospel - It is not about being good or bad. Humans do not have the capability to be sin-free. All's you can do is accept Jesus as your savior and come to grips with the fact that as a human, you will sin.

I also believe that preachers and religions that love to push and talk about hell, there is something really wrong with them. It is like they have a sexual kink for imagining people in torment [like some sort of extreme S&M], and that is just not right.

Now about B&N - next time you hang out there, why not read the makeup or fashion books instead? Those are better for a CD than reading about how we are going to hell.

[Jennifer Cox]

Crossdressing is innocent and harms no one and if you,re religous you will also believe God created us all, crossdressers included, which means it can,t be wrong in his/her eyes!!

I think God's definitely a woman - I mean, would a man have inflicted this upon us! :D

[Kayla_CD]

If you're trying to quit I think one of the first things you should do is stop visiting this site. Do alcocholics just hang out in bars?

[Stacye Rose]

Kate,

I have considered doing what you are thinking of doing any number of times and the only possible way I can see that it might possibly work is as follows
The only way I can see to quit crossdressing is to take it one day at a time. All you have to do is not crossdress today, then get up tomorrow and do the same thing, and the next day, and the next day.... It's extremely simple-not at all easy to do.

Put your beautiful skirt suits away-pack them in a box or something where you won't see them or have ready access to them. Fill your time with other activities that have no relation to anything clothing or fashion oriented. Stay out of places like Victoria's Secret, going there-on any pretext-will not help you stop crossdressing. If I were trying to quit I would also do what Karren suggested and delete all references to the forum, and any others like it you may visit. You will have to sucessfully change three things: You playpens-forums like this one and stores like Victoria's Secret. Your playmates-us and any other crossdressing outlets you may have. And change your playthings-skirt suits and evertything feminine.

Remember all you have to do for it to work is not crossdress TODAY!!

You can do anything for one day you wouldn't be willing to do for the rest of your life. I wish you the best of luck, I truly hope you are able to stop-I don't think you will be able to, but I will keep you in my thoughts.:hugs:

[KateSpade83]

Ok, maybe I'll be here less if I try to quit.

Before my crossdressing era I did have a charmed life and good karma happened.

Crossdressing era - devilish paranoid episodes and bad karma in life.

My mom is a good pure woman that prays a lot, and so much good karma happens to her - like she sees a statue of Mother Mary smile at her, she sees a vision of her, or other good karma.

Just have to say, not much good karma in my life. Maybe it came form using crossdressing as fetish. Maybe just dress up beauty session will be harmless? - I'll try not to do it often.

Well, I just want good karma in life!

Might just participate in the Lounge and be a relic? I still admire female impersination and liked to be amazed a transformations.

[Vicki65]

There's something I dont get...

A few of you seem to have a similar outlook on quitting crossdressing as quitting smoking or suchlike. As though CDing is a BAD thing. OK, its not mainstream, but is it a bad thing?

I thought the view was that its just another expression of personality. An expression of a female aspect to your personality. Surely a female aspect to a male personality is a good thing - a foil to the typically male traits of agressiveness and insensitivity? My wife appreciates that I'm a good listener, and sensitive to others feelings. I regard these as female traits. (OK, its not ideal to package traits to sexes, but we only have history to go by.

I am glad I have these 'female' traits, and wonder if CDing is just myself allowing me to express these female traits further. Why fight against whats natural? I expect (and know from my own experiences) that quashing them will only result in unhappiness.

It's society that needs to change, not us.

[Bootsiegalore]

Yeah... We're all gonna burn in hell.

What about all the non-cd's on wall street that stole everyones F'n retirement..... Are they going to go to the promised land because they did not crossdress????

As long as you are a good person and you help others and are honest I do not believe that exploring your feminine side is going to cause you to burn in hell. Why did our "God" give us these feelings, which we have had to hide most of our lives for fear of being ostricized by "normal" society?

Maybe we are the ones who are correct!

Do not read so much into what you read!

Tara

[Mirani]

I wish you all the very best - BUT .. please consider this:

"Karma" is Sanskrit and exists in Indian religions such as Hindu, Jain, Seikh and Buddhist.
Through the law of Karma, the effects actively create past, present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for ones own life and the pain and joy it brings to you and others. The results of "fruits of actions" are called karma-phala. In religions that incorporate reincarnation (NOT a Catholic/Christian concept at all) Karma extends through ones present life and all past and future lives as well. Christainity preaches one life and an afterlife, not a cycle of reincarnation.

So - if you are considering your Mother's faith as a guide to life - if she is a Catholic (which I interpret from your post) then .. Karma is anathema to that faith. Fell free to chop the chain of Karma from your belief system - or you might realease yourself from the guilt of sin associated with the Catholic religion. But the two do not mix.
Read more than Bill Wiese.
As I have said, I am not a Christian but I do know the Bible says that that Jesus said "I do not condem you" to a woman caught in adultery. Hey .. thats heavier than wearing a skirt suit!

Sorry for the sermon, but I always feel sad when someone changes their life as a result of seeing a piece of the jigsaw, rather than the whole picture.

Good luck.

[Sophia de la luz]

Now I don't feel so bad about the $11,000 I've lost recently in the markets. If a normal person spends $14,000 on clothes, $11k on investments is nothing at all.
As for hell, bring a handbasket. I doubt very much God or the Devil cares what you wear on your flesh. From what I gather, their passion is what's in our hearts. But, hey, maybe God has nothing better to do then monitor our clothing choices for evidence of divine level disobedience.

As for what you wear, suit yourself. :)

[KateSpade83]

All this time - I felt like a reluctant crossdresser addicted to the beauty of femininity! I have succumbed too much and bought too much!

Ok, maybe I'm going through a phase where I feel like abstaining from crossdressing as much as I can and see if God blesses me with good karma in life.

I was using the word karma as either good and bad instances or luck, etc, not the Indian term.

And it's really hard to quit shopping and let beautiful stuff pass by!

[Vicki65]

As I said to a relative recently, its just money. If what you earn doesn't bring you happiness, then whats the point of it?

You're dead a long time.

[Mirani]

Sorry Kate - you are out of "luck" .. for that too is NOT a Christian concept. There is no "luck" attributed to the "Christian way". So, if you believe in your mother's faith ... and it is your faith too .. well you are indeed "lucky" to know that there is no "luck" in the Bible.
Read about Job. He was a truly Godly man, seeking to follow God's ordinances. BUT .. well you know the story (if not .. you should!).
Job did not get any "luck" from being a totally Godly man.

Conversly, many "evil" men in this current day (drugs dealers for eaxample) live a life of luxury and to the full without "bad karma" affectimg them. According to your Bible, they will be judged by God on Judgement Day.

Also, just the other day, a christain woman was murdered in Afghanistan
http://www.theherald.co.uk/news/news/display.var.2461950.0.murdered_christian_aid_worke r_only_in_afghanistan_to_help.php
Just trying to show you that it may be worth you reconsidering your stance on "Karma" or "luck" being a consequence of a "good" life or a bad life.

Be You. Be Kind. Be loving. Your god wont mind what you are wearing when you you are kind, loving, generous and forgiving.
Just my view ....
Perhaps all you need is a dose of self-control (when it comes to purchases).

[meg_dc_00]

You should consider seeing a therapist. Really. You need to learn to accept yourself, no one is getting hurt by crossdressing.

If God exists, it probably woundn't care a less if you crossdress.

[KateSpade83]

Ok people, I'll tell you one good karma God did to me!

Since I got my felony in 2002, probation for 30 months, no one would hire me because of my probation and I lived on SSDI. 2001 to 2005 - no employment! The only saving grace I could use on my resume was lie that I went into my brother's computer business and gave it a try during those years! But my brother did try a business during those years!

And in 2005 I kept sending out resumes and recruiters would dismiss me left and right because I was unemployed for 4 years! The only job I got was a bottom of the barrel bike messenger job, pay was too low so I quit [$900 / month].

So I was working out in the Chicago Lakefront and I told God in my heart how hopeless I felt and that I couldn't live on SSDI forever. That we went to Lourdes 3 times to bless me with a good permanent well paid job that lasted - and that he never gave that to me! So I became desperate and told God straight out I'm just useless now and only good for a gay man, no woman would ever like me. - If you curse me in life to be poor after I struggled so hard in college for a top notch degree I might as well go gay because you never blessed me with a good job and income!

I guess God heard me. A recruiter named Jeff M. took some kind of special liking to me plugging me for good jobs despite my unemployment for 4 years. Another recruiter got me a job as a Mold Technician - but that was way beneath me and I told God that's not good enough for me! Then it happened, all of a sudden, Pentair Electronic Packaging was desperate and need a Technical Writer quickly! They hired me without an interview and this resurrected my career! But the Eng Boss found out I was "gay" [a crossdresser] and my position was restructured out - discrimination again. It was 7 months employment. But the mysterious part was the day before the first day of work at Pentair - I was working out at Chicago Lake Shore Drive and a gay man hit on me! In short, I felt this was a test from God to see if I would go gay according to my threat, but I turned him down.

Then one contract job led to another with an increase in pay until I last got my dream job at Jacobs ESCG - NASA's primary Engineering contractor. Best place I ever worked at, but maybe I wasted God grace at that time by spending too much on women's clothes and not getting into women. But I'm not good at dating. Well, there is a general slowdown in NASA work, so I guess I'm not gonna be there anymore.

[Tina B.]

[QUOTE=KateSpade83;1468583]I no longer get SSDI, Medicare, or free medicine. So I might become paranoid again.

Kate, your own words, think about it! Maybe this is what is bothering you, not that you are a crossdresser.
I hope you find peace in your life, but if not, at least a frind to talk to.

[Mirani]

So I became desperate and told God straight out I'm just useless now and only good for a gay man, no woman would ever like me. - If you curse me in life to be poor after I struggled so hard in college for a top notch degree I might as well go gay because you never blessed me with a good job and income!

.... I was working out at Chicago Lake Shore Drive and a gay man hit on me! In short, I felt this was a test from God to see if I would go gay according to my threat, but I turned him down. .

Oh Kate .. how could you post such a homophobic comment? I am disappointed and saddened to see such a viewpoint and demeaning comment. You might as well have said "Gay = evil and deserving of punishment." :thumbsdn:

No point in continuing a discussion - Seems you aren't in a place to hear what's being said .. you have fixed your position.

One last suggestion .. get therapy!

Oh .. and if you still believe in "karma" ...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7683189.stm

[KateSpade83]

Well, you may or may not like my experience but I had to let it out and post it.

But I do think there should be tolerance for gays at work. I'd don't know about gay marriage, I feel gay employment rights are what matters.

And truthfully, my position is I don't want to be a gay man. If I did that I'd think God would consider me too impure to go to Heaven - just my own view.

It's weird - when I was young, I had a special instance where I felt God had asked me how I'd be tested in life. I said gayness, and if I was blessed with wealth that would be too strong a desire to resist. Didn't know women's clothes can be so addicting!

[Mirani]

It isnt about "experiences" .. its about values. And yes, everyone is entitled to express their opinion. But I will always challege homophobia wherever I see it ... just didnt expect to see it here.

By the way, did you read any of the links I posted ... and if you did .. what's your view on their Karma .. did they deserve what happened? If they didnt .. well how can you believe in it now?

[Charleen]

Me, I'm waiting for Santa!

[Fab Karen]

God is a drag queen & she's upset you've gotten so confused.:)
Throw out that book by some self-righteous a-hole who no doubt isn't following the teachings of Jesus. Go and study the history of the writing of that religion's book, it will give you some great insight ( rewritten many times throughout history ).
Thinking your problems come through crossdressing is as logical as thinking they'd come from wearing the color red.

[KateSpade83]

It isnt about "experiences" .. its about values. And yes, everyone is entitled to express their opinion. But I will always challege homophobia wherever I see it ... just didnt expect to see it here.

By the way, did you read any of the links I posted ... and if you did .. what's your view on their Karma .. did they deserve what happened? If they didnt .. well how can you believe in it now?

Job was tested by God for faith because the devil questioned God if Job would still be faithful too him if God let misfortune upon him.

The earth is the realm of the devil, no wonder why drug dealers flourish in wealth. - A devil's blessing to them.

No, it's suicide being on a Christian mission to help Afgans with a treacherous Taliban around.

I didn't promote homophobia, I just had to state what happened to me - I told God I'd be gay if he didn't bless me so he blessed me.

[Tamara Croft]

This thread has gone way off topic... and is done. You want to take the piss about things, go find another forum to do it, this is a support forum.

[Shelly Preston]

This thread has gone far enough

There have been a lot of comments made which really belong in the religious section

Also this is a repeat of comments made some time ago and its just brings up the same old arguments