Just to talk...

[Arien]

Hello. I feel a little awkward posting as well... I'm new... to all of this... And I never really know the right thing to say. I would just like some advice, I guess. From some of the other boys out there. I feel a little out of place sometimes as I am a FTM CD and that's about as far as it goes for me. I'm not transitioning or actively living as a boy. I just... like to pretend I'm a boy sometimes. My partner is absolutely wonderful and supportive about it, but I am still having a hard time... being me, I guess. Dressing as a boy is something I've kept hidden for years. I was married for six years, and was pretty much forced to be an incredibly girly girl. Now, I don't have to be anymore. I was very scared to tell my SO about my tendacies, as it was something I had always hidden from everyone. He is incredibly understanding and makes it safe for me to be me. But I am still confused. I really like to dress as a boy, but after I do, I always feel really ashamed of myself. I used to have days, or weeks, when I would feel disconnected from everything and everyone. Recently, I discovered that dressing as a boy helped stop that from happening. I am not sure I really understand what this means, nor do I really feel I know who I am sometimes. I have a super girly job as well (I work in a lingerie store) and just sometimes, I get really confused about why I do this. I guess I would just like to know how the other boys here find acceptance within themselves about who they really are inside.

[Felix]

Hi Arien and welcome :hugs: I here what ya saying!! First of all I would like to say that I'm sure you will find others like yourself on this site so you are not alone Hun :) It can all be very confusing and very consuming at times most definitely. It has took me all my life to accept who I am (I am a trans man) and to stop being who and what everybody else wants me to be and even now I still for the sake of peace and so that I don't loose those such as my parents, continue being partially who they want me to be when I visit.
I know what you mean about dressing coz its the way I have felt comfortable all my life and even when forced as a little child to dress girlie I rebelled against it and it caused massive arguements. I have done the girlie thing at certain periods in my life but to no avail coz it never felt right and when I look at pics I know why lol!!! You are lucky to have a supportive partner that is most important Hun!!
I know what ya mean about feeling disconnected from everyone coz I still have those kind of days and they make me feel wiered coz it's like the world is going on around me and I'm just standing there watching it pass by!! It's good Hun that dressing as a boy helps you to stop feeling disconnected from life and I don't want to sound rude or anything but have ya ever thought of talking to someone professional about these feelings? I know it has helped me loads :) Well I hope this has helped a little Hun and I'm sure ya will find the peeps in here very helpful and supportive, I know I have xx Felix :hugs:

[ZenFrost]

Hello and welcome. :wave:

You're not the only FtM CD here, granted, many of us are TS but not all.

I know I'm not the best for advice, but if you keep feeling confused you can try to think that even if you're content with being a woman, not everyone is a cookie-cutter version of societal conventions. CDing doesn't make you weird, it just makes you you.

[Felix]

Here here Zen, well said :hugs:xx Felix