dressing and sex

[Eve_WA]

As a side question to the one I just posted about how do you tell someone...

I have noticed that the more I become Eve, the more accepting I have become of her, and the more I live as her, the less I think about sex. When I started, there was a certain fetish about it, and it energized me sexually. But now, as I have become more mainstream, as I have become more comfortable with myself, the less this occurs. Where as now, its not on my mind, its not a drive, and dont masturbate hardly anymore. Is this normal? Is this just my mind changing gears, and learning a new way to think? Will the drive return?

I do find it interesting, as many of the gals in my area have gone the opposite direction, and are running around like bunnies... Now, this is not me, has never been me. So I dont worry that I will turn into some lil ****. But I would like to have SOME desire eventually... ya know?

Has anyone else felt this?

Thanks ever so much!

Eve

[KATIE TV]

Sounds a bit like me, when I was first dressing it was a big "turn on" but the more I did it the less sexual it became, I now dress most of the time at home and the dressing is not sexual at all, it is just "normal". I live with a GG and we have a normal sexual relationship but it is certenly "spiced up" for both of us with me in say, in my maids uniform, All I can say is "be happy" and do what you wan't to do and the sex will be "well normal", I'm sure that some of the other "girls" will be of more help than me but thats how it's worked with me. Love Katie. XX

[Electra]

Eve_WA, your experience corroborates with mine. In the early days of my CDing I could hardly put on panties and skirt without getting strongly aroused and, that had to be taken care of before I could proceed. Now, as I have become used to dressing it hardly ever happens. On the other hand, when I'm fully dressed with makeup and wig, I feel quite excited, sexually I mean, and I want a man to admire me although I wouldn't like to actually have a sexual relation with one. I think what you are experiencing is not so uncommon with CDs.

[KARI AN]

I can relate to that at first it was a turnon now its just me. today is my day to enjoy myself and I quess I can say it cleaning day also.

[Stephanie Michelle]

Hi Eve,

I am very similar to your situation. There could be lots of reasons for the change. For me it is that I am 51 years old and as you get older your sex drive slows down. It also could be a medical issue. For me although I have always been confortable for who I am and my crossdressing it is just in the last year or two that I felt relaxed in dressing and do it because I that is how I like to dress. It is just like anything else, a normal function of the day. I am married with 3 kids they are teens and out of the house alot. My wife is OK with the dressing but is worried that the kids will find out if I am not careful.

I wish I had friends in the area that I could socialize with but I don't.

I have found a great amount of support on the forum from reading all the posts, although I don't post alot.

Basically rule out any medical conditions and if that is OK I am sure that like me you are just getting comfortable with dressing because you want to not for sexual pleasure.

StephaniE

[docrobbysherry]

When I started serious dressing about 8 years ago, I thot I was finished with sex, at age 50+. Dressing started turning me on again! The sex urge returned!

Over the years, my dressing has gotten very involved and complicated. While I'm organising clothes and accessories, and puting things on, I'm preoccupied with getting it all just rite! No turn ons now!
However, when I'm finished and I see Sherry in the mirror, I get as excited and turned on as ever! Still performing, in my 60's.:o

If your sexual desire has dimmed, there r usually good reasons! As Katie mentioned, go see your Dr. and have him run some tests. Unless u r happier without the urges!:battingeyelashes:

[Eve_WA]

Katie,

To answer your question, really, at this point. Not much of anything turns me on. I mean, it still works... When I watch some porn or something like that, it works. So thats not the issue. I just have no desire. I used to be a fairly sexually charged individual. And I realize that this slows down with age. But it just seems to me, that the more I become female, the less I think about Mr Happy. Nor do I have any desire to be sexual as a female... that just has no interest for me.

As far as the doctor issue, I have been recently checked out, and all my blood work and everything is OK. So its not a physical issue. Its one of desire. It just isnt there.

Eve

[Stormgirl]

I have no sex drive anymore either,I'm not sure it's depression or just my "habit's regarding feminine behavior. Btw, I live in Seattle, Kirkland area specifically.

[Jennifer Cox]

Hi Eve,

Similar story with me too - used to find it a big turn on - which is probably why, for many years, I was fairly content just doing undies. These days, I'm only really content if I can dress fully, and I find that it's much less of a turn-on. (Not that that's a bad thing :o)

Now I'm wondering if my recent need to dress fully is related to this fact - is it cause or effect ? :idontknow:

[Toni_Lynn]

Initially, all those years ago, my crossdressing was totally non-sexual. After all I was a kid, and I didn't know from sex! It was the late 60s and yes, I was that innocent. When, I was 13 and 'things' started happening, then the sexual aspect entered into it.

It all went along this way, and then after I turned 40, and my train wreck of a marriage (in which I was totally denied -- sexually and crossdressingly) ended, it became very non-sexual.

Now that I am in a marriage filled will love and total acceptance, it has become sexual again, but this time, well, the best way that I can put it is that it is summed up in the fact that there is a difference between having sex and making love!

And the fantasies that come true are beyond wildest dreams. I am a very happy girl! Viagra -- we don't need no stinkin' viagra!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[KandisTX]

Have you recently been put on any sort of medication? Some medications have a nasty side effect that diminishes ones sex drive.

Years ago, my dressing was at a point I couldn't even think about wearing something femme without becoming aroused. This was especially difficult in class when I saw one of the girls bras or slips showing and I just wanted to be wearing the same thing. As I got older, and my dressing became less and less 'naughty' and more and more a part of me (i.e. I got brave enough to buy my own stuff, or steal (though I used the term borrow at the time) my sisters or mothers clothing), the sexuality of it lessened. Now, the dressing does not turn me on, but there are many other aspects that do, such as finally having a wife that enjoys my being dressed as much as I feel comfortable dressing.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Cathytg]

As I read the first several responses I thought that I have been just like everyone else but I can see that there is no "everyone else".

Anyway, I, too, found it impossible to dress and not to be sexually active about it. Delicately put don't you think? But over the past several years I am finding that the sexual side has become less compulsive although still just as exciting. But it's the compulsion that has dropped away and that's not all bad.

[femw/i]

I find that I am always sexually aroused when I dress. I know that it is a compulsion. I think to myself that I do not ever want it to stop. The sensation is unbelievable.
That's why when I see an attractive women wearing something that I myself would enjoy, I think of the sensation and wish that was me.

[LilSissyStevie]

I've been a "fetish" crossdresser since puberty. That was about 40 years ago. The only difference is that then I was by myself and now I have a participating wife. If crossdressing ever lost its erotic power, I'd probably lose interest. Maybe not - I do like the challenge of getting the look right but it holds no other attraction for me.

[sissystephanie]

Most of my sex drive disappeared years ago, primarily due to a rather botched hernia operation. At least that is what my dear late wife always thought. However, the desire was still there and we made do. I don't get "turned on" when dressed, but I dress because I like to, not to get "turned on." That is not going to change!!

Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[femw/i]

I've been a "fetish" crossdresser since puberty. That was about 40 years ago. The only difference is that then I was by myself and now I have a participating wife. If crossdressing ever lost its erotic power, I'd probably lose interest. Maybe not - I do like the challenge of getting the look right but it holds no other attraction for me.

Yes I feel the same as you do. I am not looking to attract anyone. If I where marry I would want too get it right for her and myself.
Also I have doing this for fourty years also.

[flacindycd]

being a cd since the late 60's , I can honestly say, in the beginning is was all about SEX, not until about 5 years ago did it really change much, Being aged 55 now at least for me around 50 my Dressing became more of a Challenge for me to become better looking than alot of GG's out there, I know this sounds crazy but at least in my mind I thought I could/did look better than alot of GG's. but thats a matter of opinion, that said, Sex now plays a minor role in my life , dont get me wrong I love sex , however its all about QUALITY NOW , not quantity.
1 drawback for me has been the older I get the more I spend on things for "CINDY"

[T Sara Lynn]

I'm also in my 50's (56 tbe), and my libido has been on the way "down" for some time. Early on, dressing did cause arousal, but then, so did seeing my wife nude! Now, well, there's more important things, IMO.

I am on HRT, and yes, that does diminish (how about "stop"?) sexual desire, but it was on it's way out anyway. You know what? I like it! Yes, I like it! It's such a relief to have the "sexual pressure" gone, to be able to meet other people and not imagine them naked, to not get a woodie when the wind blows - my quality of life has done nothing but improve as a result.

In reference to your diminished sex drive, is it normal? I can't answer that, other than to say as a male ages it does diminish, and if you're on HRT, it will really diminish. My question to you is: do you mind?

[mykhelee]

I do not get turned on by dressing, maybe a little, with the right outfit. Not a sexual turn-on,maybe, but an energized turned on. I would dress for the right woman without a doubt, perhaps for the right man, unsure about that though, been years.

[Miss Tessa]

I agree with Sara Lynne.

I am on estradiol and spironolactone (anti-androgyne) so not only do I not really care much about sex at all.I also find it much more difficult to get erect, and especially the quality of my erections are much more diminished now.

When I lived as a boy I liked to screw alot and now I still like to, but just don't think about it in the sense that a man does.

My CD friend is suuuuuccchh a horny girl and I have trouble keeping up with her! LOL
Maybe she's not 4 me then. That's what I'm thinking.

I don't have sex as often as I did prior to transition. But I still like to meet new people to hook up with at least a couple times a week to keep things fresh so I don't feel like a prude.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

Dressing for me was somewhat of a turn on at first but even then there was something more there than sexual. Now that I am retired and living full time at home it just seems such a normal thing to do. In those few times I have to wear male clothes to go out being back home and dressed gives me a sense of relief. I just feel that this is who I am now and I am so happy being this way.

[Samantha43]

When I was younger crossdressing was a huge turn on for me. Of course it didn't take much to get me turned on back then! As years have passed it is much less a sexual turn on and more of a comfort and contentment feeling. My sex drive hasn't really changed much. It has diminished over the years, which is normal. I have been married to a very attractive GG for over 20 years so the drive is still there and sex is still a very important part of my life.

[suchacutie]

My female side brings me closer to my wife, makes me more informed about being a women, and now we spend even more time together. So...if anything, there is more "activity", not less. I'm 58 and it just gets better :)

tina

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I'm a 41 year old non masturbating virgin....nuff said. (Though I have experimented with my nipples which feels nice)

I freely admit that dressing can be arousing, but the arousal embarrasses me and I wish it didn't happen. I don't feel the need to do anything traditional with the arousal. I have tried the lying down and rubbing the arousal against the bed thing, without touching "it", but there are no "fireworks" or anything. I just don't feel the need to "do stuff" like some do.

But I am weird and have genito-urinary issues. I'm hypospadic (with a touch of chordee) and have meatal stenosis.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[LACD]

Like many others, it was such a big turn on when I was young. When I first started dressing I wore my Moms things and it was still kind of a rush. As I got older I started buying my own things, mostly lingerie as I was really into the bedroom thing(self gratification). After I got married my dressing was far and few between and it was still a big turn-on. Dear Wife suspected I CD'ed but wasn't really to upset until she saw me fully dressed for the first time. After many long talks she is understanding and supportive of my dressing. My sex drive is still there while hers has waned some. We still have a very good relationship and she helps me with shopping and good fashion advice. I still dress for some of our bedroom adventures and we both find that it kind of spices things up and is different. Sorry to be long and boring. Oh, by the way, we will celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary this coming January.

[maid phylis]

dear eve ,this is an interesting question.when i first starting to wear lingerie i found that my sex drive had deminished and the more i wore it i felt that i could do without it.now as i am dressing and going out dressed i feel more comfortable in my feminine gender and not caring about sex any more.i guess that the more you move into that feminine part of you you really start to feel like a woman and i love that feeling.:love:phylisanne

[Margot]

I'm 62 and happy my sex drive has almost gone. My wife is estatic about that fact too. She prefers I be just a loving husband and tender girfriend.
Now if I could just develop bigger breasts I'd be more than happy.
Margot

[jennifer24]

Me too, when I first started dressing it was a turn on, now I really don`t have no desire to get sexually aroused just by dressing up, all though when I dress real sexy I and get good looks from men it`s somewhat a turn on.

JENN:)

[Robynts]

Eve,

I think my experience is similar to mine. The more I am Robyn the more comfortable I become. I am me, and it is not a sexual thing, it is a comfort level thing. Sure, Robyn has a sexual side, but that is not the focus of her existence.

Robyn

[Jennifer Devine]

I get extremely turned on when dressing up and the woman in me starts to take over!
My ultimate fantasy would be to have sex with a woman while dressed as a woman myself!
Wer're both wearing silky nightdresses and the sheets are all silky!
We then cuddle up and enjoy each others love!
And the rest.............i'll let you know when it actually happens! lol

[Paula T]

I do not get turned on by dressing, maybe a little, with the right outfit. Not a sexual turn-on,maybe, but an energized turned on. I would dress for the right woman without a doubt, perhaps for the right man, unsure about that though, been years.

How about the right CD:eek:

[EveMarie]

I'm afraid to answer this honestly, but I feel I'm a bit of a sexaholic. The fact that I "dress" as a woman has no effect on my sexual urges. I can't help but look at an attractive woman and fantasize, or when I see a cute man, or young man, to think of how I'd feel in his arms. whether I'm me or Evie, sex has always been a part of my life, always and always.

:o

[Leohose]

I find that I am always sexually aroused when I dress. I know that it is a compulsion. I think to myself that I do not ever want it to stop. The sensation is unbelievable.
That's why when I see an attractive women wearing something that I myself would enjoy, I think of the sensation and wish that was me.

Yes that describes it oh so welll

[Lori Robins]

Eve, I have just one question for you..... define "normal"!!!!! I think everyone is different. Me, I still love sex just as much as ever. My partner calls me horny little rabbit. Well she is just as bad as me so we are a good match.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

SEX ------------------------------------------------------- > EMOTIONAL

The above pretty well describes the life of a crossdresser

JoAnne Wheeler

[beenherelongtime]

i haven't had time to go into all the respones, i will later, because they are interesting.
i went throught the same path, that most of us do., aroused, then waning, but i still enjoy silky clothes.

[Debutante]

As I come into my late 50s, this seems to become party true. But I still have a strong erotic side... I have fantasies, esp. with my wife.... but we haven't put that all together yet, and I feel left out of the best sex I could have: crossdressed in certain outfits that turn me on (not the ones you may think of), doing a CD script with my wife, etc.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

When I started, there was a certain fetish about it, and it energized me sexually. But now, as I have become more mainstream, as I have become more comfortable with myself, the less this occurs. Where as now, its not on my mind, its not a drive, and dont masturbate hardly anymore. Is this normal? Is this just my mind changing gears, and learning a new way to think? Will the drive return?

You've just described what most cders go through, according to everything I've read, experienced, and the posts in this thread. There is a certain evolution process and not every cd will choose to progress as far for a variety of reasons.

In regards to the sex thing - for me, I prefer to make love to my wife while dressed up. It's good either way, but when I'm dressed up, the experience is something I can't really describe. The words beautiful insanity comes to mind. The point I'm making is that I don't think the "drive" really just goes away. I think it evolves/changes as one explores. Then again, I'm sure it's a little different for everyone in that regard.

[MaryAnn40c]

When I was out the first time I was very excited just to be out.After that I was out to have fun and never thought about sex.I have ended up spending the night with a couple of guys(not on the some night). These guys were ones I meet from some ex girlfriends. I am happy with being bi(and safe too).:2c:

[Prissy Linda]

For me sex while dressed is the best ever, It's not just the final result that is rewarding but everything leading up to it. A nice dinner, a glass of wine then tender kisses while slow dancing. I love feeling like a sexy beautiful woman who is desired by either a man or a woman.

[Briana Blonde]

<--- Transvestic fetishist.

[docrobbysherry]

Rite after the honeymoon, you're like bunnies for awhile! :D

10 years later, all u really want, is to be left alone to get a good nites sleep!:brolleyes: