What have you done for the community lately?

[battybattybats]

I just stumbled on this great little article http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/home/Frontpage/2008/02/07/02210.html

With a great point
Transgender Warriors Paved The Way So That You Could Go Out on Saturday nights. How Can You Contribute to Advancing Tolerance?

In the larger metropolitan cities around the world we have become familiar, even if we are in some cases not totally accepted, yet that is something that many of us take for granted. Our ability to step out in the light of day was paved by transgender warriors before us, who refused to be less than who they were. And it was that fearless and unrelentless commitment that makes your Saturday night romps possible. They risked losing friends, family, careers, and enduring arrest, mental and/or physical abuse and being socially exiled.

In every movement there are those that put themselves out there as beacon's of light, in many different ways, to guide those in the shadows and that is still true today. But the real question is WHAT HAVE YOU DONE LATELY? Isn't this part of your community too, isn't this part of who you are? Believe it or not it does not take much to make a difference. Some say, "I can't be in the spotlight - I have to much to lose". So they attend the local events to "get" what they need and call it a day.



The article goes on to give some simple steps.

So I'm asking of myself and everyone here: What have you done for the Community lately?

On my part:
With some cis friends I'm not yet out to that I run a roleplaying game for I introduced a transexual npc character and had her slowly educate them and gently shift their perceptions through fictional interaction.

I've also involved myself with the discussion forum on the Australian Human Rights Comissions Sex and Gender Diversity project to ensure that logic and sense got applied to the divisive views of some who wanted their issues dealt with seperately or didn't want certain groups involved and to ensure that someone was speaking up for those not represented.

What have you done? Or if nothing yet, what can you do to change that?

[Shelly Preston]

Not everyone likes to shout from the rooftops what they have done for the community

Some will quietly work behind the scenes

As long as we as a community are moving forward I dont need to hear about
who has done what

I congratulate all those who are doing there little bit even if its only in a small way

[Sheila]

I understand what you say Shelly, but perhaps what Bats meant was "Let's have a chat about all the things we might be doing". After all, there's more to cross-dressing than sitting at home in front of the mirror, or going out shopping to keep the entire lace-making industry in business.

Sorry Katie B, but this sprung from a thread where BB asked me in a post what I was doing for the community, after I asked him to watch out for my thread in the loved ones section

[Annaliese]

I just stumbled on this great little article http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/home/Frontpage/2008/02/07/02210.html

With a great point

The article goes on to give some simple steps.

So I'm asking of myself and everyone here: What have you done for the Community lately?

On my part:
With some cis friends I'm not yet out to that I run a roleplaying game for I introduced a transexual npc character and had her slowly educate them and gently shift their perceptions through fictional interaction.

I've also involved myself with the discussion forum on the Australian Human Rights Comissions Sex and Gender Diversity project to ensure that logic and sense got applied to the divisive views of some who wanted their issues dealt with seperately or didn't want certain groups involved and to ensure that someone was speaking up for those not represented.

What have you done? Or if nothing yet, what can you do to change that?
Some time it is the little thing that win the war. For me I ware girl slack and jean to work every day I also ware make up every day, do my students notice, some do. Will this make a difference yes I think it will.

Annaliese

[LA CINDY LOVE]

Shelly I do not feel that Batty is shouting from the roof tops about what she has done for the community but why more of us are not shouting from the roof tops for our community in general.

Katie you are right we Cd's are more concern about how we look and can we look better then issues regarding our community, passing and going out seems to be our biggest concern.

There is a thread were some feel that gays have more rights then trans gender, in there community they have those that shout from the roof top and those that work behind the scene way more then we have in our community it seem like they fight more from our community then we do.

And Jess you need to let it go.



LA CINDY LOVE

[Veronica27]

Contributing to an online forum such as this, can make a significant difference in helping others to cope with their crossdressing related problems. For most of us, there is too much to lose by simply coming out to everyone, or "shouting from the rooftops" as some have mentioned. Also, if we are not careful how we behave when we do "come out", it could have a negative impact on the efforts to promote understanding.

Well thought out comments and opinions on these forums, which are often read by spouses and others attempting to understand this phenomenon, can go a long way toward promoting a quiet understanding and acceptance for both the crossdresser and those around him.

These forums have helped me greatly over the years, and I am now at the point where I can attend crossdressing events without feeling the shame, embarrassment and guilt that once overwhelmed me.

I applaud those who are able to be out and about, and what they accomplish in the way of "spreading the word", and will continue to contribute to the cause in my own humble way.

Veronica

[sterling12]

Shelly, did you read that article? Pretty much the same things you are talking about. The writer isn't asking anyone to be "out front" and a spokesperson; just to do a lot of little things that might help in this battle to gain tolerance.

Please read the article and pay particular attention to that quote from Victor Hugo. The time is now! It is up to all of us to seize the moment. Just by being out there, by being counted, by making yourself known, you participate in The Struggle.

I think Batty is doing us a service. With The age of The Internet, It's very easy to get smug and even more isolated. I think Batty and this article are reminding us about our duty. I know someone will jump in and proclaim, "You and Batty don't speak for me!" "I'm independent and will do my own thing, don't have to participate."

Your right, it's your business; do what you want to do. But, if you don't make some effort, you will deprive yourself of the very real inner-satisfaction that will come when we finally do win this thing. You WON'T be able to say, " I tried, I did something, I was part of that."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Shelly Preston]

I understand perfectly what Batty is saying

I know one or two folks who do a lot of good work but you wont here from them

They prefer to keep quiet

Just remember not everyone will tell you what they are doing to help

[Sheila]

And Jess you need to let it go.LA CINDY LOVE

?????????? you mean like this

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92654

:D

And sorry LA CINDY LOVE, we so do not need to shout more ............ we need to do this in a quiet refined matter ...... and just because some work behind the scenes, and some work quietly in the front does not mean our input is not valued, or needed but it needs to be made in a quiet, simplistic manner to most peeps if they are ever going to to listen long enough to understand :straightface: However .... I will scream long and hard behind closed doors, if it means I get to go out there representing community in a calm rational manner .......... which is my intention :eek: Crazy or what ................ here I be no longer living with a Transgendered person of which ever degree, but I am now more than just willing to support the community quietly, but put my face and name on the firing line .......... what am I doing ?????? dunno

[ggtracy]

I keep my SO's femme picture on my desk at work. I don't flaunt it but am not ashamed either, so will answer any questions that come up when/if someone notices.

may seem insignificant and certainly nothing I feel I am doing special, but I do know that I have been able introduce the TG idea to many of my friends and coworkers in a safe, non threatening way.

[Sam44]

This thread reminds me of the divide when it come to proselytizing. Some believe in a more in-your-face approach, others believe that their works are more powerful than their words.

Personally I see some people's attitudes change as I frequent certain businesses. At first, tho polite, some people are obviously taken aback if not outright put off. But as they get to know me they see that, except for surface differences, crossdressers are no different than others. We see posts about this a lot here: statements from like "Now that I've gotten to know you I'm more comfortable with people who dress differently." or "Now that I've gotten to know you I wouldn't mind if my daughter dated a crossdresser."

[Nicole Erin]

I am pretty much out at work. I don't go to work en femme but everyone knows. I think I am one of the more pleasant people there. I work with a little over 100 other people.

For some of the folks I work with, I am the first CD they have ever known. I figure Ok, so they know I am CD and they know I am pretty cool and mostly normal, having a wife, kid, job, money problems, and do about everything tht most people do.

So I figure maybe when or if they see other CDs, they will think of me and think "I work with this person named Erin who is a crossdresser and he is cool." So maybe they will spread their education if they are with someone who knows nothing about a CD and is scared of one.

I know it terrifies you all to think that *I* am out and about representing the community but for some non-CD people, I am all they have to reference CD.

If you are out but shy, do not be. Show people that we are just normal folks. I am certainly not shy about my CD status. You don't have to be en femme to do this, just explain yourself with pride if someone asks "why do you let your hair grow?" or "....eyebrows...?" or whatever they ask.

A few people will still fear or hate us but be as pleasant as possible.
"But Erin, if they are a-holes, it is hard.." Yes it is...

For some folks who have a phobia or hate of a group, just ONE good experience with that group can change their mind to "Well, not all of them are so bad". I know cause I have had that happen. Even now when I think to myself "I hate [whatever group]" I will quickly remind myself of the good ones from that group who have been friends.

So do you want to be the "CD who was really cool" that changes minds? ;)
I know I try to be.

I imagine for those who don;t like us girls, it is cause they are probably scared of us. Calm that fear for them.

[battybattybats]

Sorry Katie B, but this sprung from a thread where BB asked me in a post what I was doing for the community, after I asked him to watch out for my thread in the loved ones section

For the record, no it's not. I've been posting about this sort of thing for a very long time. This post came from browsing the last few days posts from the transgendernews yahoo group, reading an article of fashion tips for TG folk that was there and following the link to the site they were taken from, clicking the button on the side that said transgender, browsing through the Transgender articles on the site, seeing that one, reading it and finding that it put into simpler terms things I've been saying on this site for well over a year. Especially that people still in the closet can still do some things to help.



Not everyone likes to shout from the rooftops what they have done for the community

Some will quietly work behind the scenes

Sure! Many folk do like to be humble about such things or remain private and thats fair enough. However many could learn from them how to help. Even those in the closet can contribute without being out and it might be very important for many of us to hear what others are doing and how they are doing it.


As long as we as a community are moving forward I dont need to hear about
who has done what

Indeed you might not, but many others who would like to help but don't know how or who think there is no way they can safely could very much need to hear some of that.


Contributing to an online forum such as this, can make a significant difference in helping others to cope with their crossdressing related problems. For most of us, there is too much to lose by simply coming out to everyone, or "shouting from the rooftops" as some have mentioned.

Indeed. And some of that comes under the 'be a mentor' advice in the article. You can help the community without being out even though being out helps the community in and of itself. Discussing here what you are doing big or small isn't shouting from the rooftops, it's encouraging others to contribute whether out or from the closet in whatever ways they can.




And sorry LA CINDY LOVE, we so do not need to shout more ............ we need to do this in a quiet refined matter ...... and just because some work behind the scenes, and some work quietly in the front does not mean our input is not valued, or needed but it needs to be made in a quiet, simplistic manner to most peeps if they are ever going to to listen long enough to understand :straightface:

Hmmm... there seems to be a lot of misscommunications going on here.

Nothing in the article and nothing I said involved being loud brash uncouth, shouting in the faces of random passers by or such.

The original 'shouting from the rooftops' was in the context of the notion off people speaking about here what they are doing rather than keeping it a secret of quiet humility and good deeds without benefit of fame. And while there is a lot of virtue to humility there is also nothing shameful about working for the community either. And with our community being substantially less active than other communities, especially the crossdressers who outnumber transexuals by according to many estimates more than 100 to 1 and with us outnumbering homosexuals substantially too according to many figures then discussing this so that more realise they can do things within their power and level of outness/closetting is itself of service to the community.

Who here is advocating being unrefined? LA CINDY LOVE was using 'shouting from the rooftops' in the context Shelly did which was related to what I was saying and what the article was saying.

Though as the Suffragettes got women the vote through brash shouting, loud marches, public violence and the like and Gay people got much of their gains so many here are envious of from being 'out, loud and proud' often very loud indeed (following on from us, as we were the ones who started bashing the police back, throwing molotov cocktails, jumping on police cars etc that started the modern gay rights movement) then perhaps it is an error to discount extreme loud unrefined action as it seems to have worked for many others in the past.

But that is not what I or the Article is talking about.

Maybe we could actually get further by discussing more what people are actually doing than arguing whether we should be talking about it at all or encouraging others to do so. So maybe we should concentrate on what people do especially when it works.

One heroine is Zoe Brain.
A rocket scientist and computer engineer. She seriously repressed her transexuality through her life, not even daring to crossdress... until her body spontaneously began to transition all on it's own! Turns out she had always been Intersexed but still the cause of her spontaneous natural transition is a medical mystery with only a handful of cases. She's a conservative, a self-professed neo-con in fact. She is out, her condition forced her to be but if we look at her most common acts for the community we'll see that is only part of what she does.

Sure her being open and out does something, her telling people about her life helps everyone from the Intersex community and all of transgender with its clear biological natural evidence. Sure her academic qualifications lends her a lot of authority and her understanding of neurology and biology and genetics that shes been studying to explore her own experiences are very valuable.

But it is her regular habit of going to mainstream net articles on transgender and posting the facts in the comments threads, her habit of going to forums, even conservative forums and conservative christian forums and explaining transgender to them that is the most powerful thing she does, that reaches the most people.

Far more read her comments in one week than would be educated by interacting with her in public in the same amount of time, especially as she'd need to tell them she's trans/intersex or they'd have to 'read' her for them to get any benefit from that interaction. The face to face personal interaction is indeed more powerful often when they know your trans and that cannot be dissmissed, but the power of words is still substantial.

And while not all of us can explain the FMRI evidence or the stuff about the Lymbic Nucleus and Transexuals the way she does we can support her and we can do similarly ourselves by speaking, educating and representing and thanks to the anonymity of screen-names on the internet even the most deeply closeted crossdresser who is still able to access this forum can do that!

Even from the deeper closets we can contribute to the community in ways like that. Not for bragging rights but because it's good, because it's the right thing to do. And if discussing some of what you do in this thread helps encourage others to do likewise then that is a good thing and a selfless thing.
It can be done quietly and it can be done in a refined manner if thats your preferance or what you think will work best.

The most important thing is to get as many people as possible to do more, to do as much as they can manage, in or out of the closet. Gains made by past generations can be lost. Progress can stall. Complacency is dangerous. I'm not saying you need to become a 24/7 activist or 'shout from the rooftops' or even come out of the shadows. Just for many to do more that they can without much inconvenience and for those who do a lot to show the way to those who wish they knew what they could do to help!

[Nicole Erin]

Batty, I think what you have is a good idea.
I also believe if anyone could be a leader in this sort of thing it is you.

So I mean any ideas you have about this, some of us would love to hear.
Of course not being shy myself, I reach out to some folks sure but I would like to do more.
I am not an expert of TG or any politics though.

I guess one thing some of us "out" girls could do is get more involved with our local organizations that work towards rights and acceptance. It would be up to each of us to handle that end of it individually. Maybe the local girls could help each other. THAT is why it is important for people to speak up about how they are helping. Others might want to get involved.

Neither Batty nor mself are saying that anyone has to shout from rooftops, cause yes we understand that some folks just cannot afford to risk their well being, but for some folks like me who don't have a lot to lose, we can help things.

Helping others here on a forum is a start but it needs to go beyond that cause the acceptance we are trying to gain is not so much from our sisters and GLBT family [they already are cool with us] but the non-family folks.

Batty, whatever ideas and such you have let me know and I will see if I can come up with some things. Anyone in Indiana or knows this state feel free to PM me about this. ShannonDragon, if you read this, contact me, if I do not see you on the 25th tomorrow at the meetings.

Erin

[TxKimberly]

Nothing, absolutely nothing Batty. I just continue to sit her sucking up and wasting perfectly good oxygen while contributing nothing worthwhile.
Oh for the record, I LIKE it that you remind us from time to time that it is possible to contribute and that we should look for ways to do so.

[Felix]

Hi Batty, well as for me I'm out at work and I guess although slow its helping a lot of peeps understand what it'slike to be transgendered. I have even asked for training for the staff and given them some addresses of where they can get it. I'm not entirely sure the head will do it but it's worth a shot. I have said to peeps if there is anything they wanna know I will be happy to talk to them about it. I mean the kids ask me all sorts they are very open and it's great and I tell them what they wanna know in a simplified form, it seems to work well :) I am out to my son to and he is cool with things and he is not bothered about bringing his mates to stay over which is cool. xx Felix :hugs:

[VeronicaMoonlit]

So I'm asking of myself and everyone here: What have you done for the Community lately?
What have you done? Or if nothing yet, what can you do to change that?

Not as much as I ought to, though I did try to start a local group a couple of years back. It's darn hard to get people out of the house, I got a couple of college aged FTM's interested and that was it. Then I had some personal issues and simply didn't have the time to do keep doing it.

I've written letters to the newspaper when someone writes anti-GLBT stuff.

I called my congressman's office and voiced my support for a trans-inclusive ENDA and gave my name and said I was transgendered.



I know it terrifies you all to think that *I* am out and about representing the community but for some non-CD people, I am all they have to reference CD.

It doesn't terrify me, because you have common sense.


I am certainly not shy about my CD status. You don't have to be en femme to do this, just explain yourself with pride if someone asks "why do you let your hair grow?" or "....eyebrows...?" or whatever they ask.

I made that decision a few years back, to never lie about it and be honest about it if someone asks and to try to not to act shameful about it. That's one reason I put my real name in every post.



So do you want to be the "CD who was really cool" that changes minds? ;)
I know I try to be.

You are, you are.




So I mean any ideas you have about this, some of us would love to hear.
Of course not being shy myself, I reach out to some folks sure but I would like to do more.
I am not an expert of TG or any politics though.

How about contacting the local PFLAG, I have heard they often have tons of contacts and information and often want people to talk to them about our issues. (They added transfolk to their mission a few years back)


I guess one thing some of us "out" girls could do is get more involved with our local organizations that work towards rights and acceptance.

I used to be involved with Tri-Ess in the past, I had more contacts then. Nowadays, pfft.


Maybe the local girls could help each other. THAT is why it is important for people to speak up about how they are helping. Others might want to get involved.

I'd love to hear what others are doing.



Batty, whatever ideas and such you have let me know and I will see if I can come up with some things. Anyone in Indiana or knows this state feel free to PM me about this. ShannonDragon, if you read this, contact me, if I do not see you on the 25th tomorrow at the meetings.

Erin

I'm over in north Central Illinois, northeast of Bloomington-Normal, that's the closest big town. and any groups in Chicago and Springfield are simply too far these days and I figure others are in the same boat. Anyone should feel free to pm me about practically anything.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Sally24]

I do things both small and big......

I've been to the State House in Boston several times as Sally to be heard on a transgendered rights bill.

I'm slowly coming out to select family and friends. It's a slow process and I'm never sure who I want to tell next. Most of them have never known a TG person so it is really an education for them. It's funny but most have a really awful image of a crossdresser until they see my pictures!

I help support and organize several T-girl social groups in Mass. so that new girls have a safe place to come out in public for the first time. It's great fun so it's not much like "work".

I spend a fair amount of time out in the daytime in mainstream malls and restaurants. I'm a regular at the MAC in Burlington, MA and it's always fun to talk to those girls! People generally react nicely to CDs when we present a neat appearance (with obviously a lot of effort to look attractive). Smiles and confidence go a long way to making other people more comfortable with "us". It's not uncommon for people, usually women, to come up to our table and start a conversation.

Most of these things are just everyday usual things that help expose the public to us more and more. If the novelty wears off then we will be less unusual to the average person.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

I do things both small and big......

I've been to the State House in Boston several times as Sally to be heard on a transgendered rights bill.

I'm slowly coming out to select family and friends. It's a slow process and I'm never sure who I want to tell next. Most of them have never known a TG person so it is really an education for them. It's funny but most have a really awful image of a crossdresser until they see my pictures!

I help support and organize several T-girl social groups in Mass. so that new girls have a safe place to come out in public for the first time. It's great fun so it's not much like "work".

I spend a fair amount of time out in the daytime in mainstream malls and restaurants. I'm a regular at the MAC in Burlington, MA and it's always fun to talk to those girls! People generally react nicely to CDs when we present a neat appearance (with obviously a lot of effort to look attractive). Smiles and confidence go a long way to making other people more comfortable with "us". It's not uncommon for people, usually women, to come up to our table and start a conversation.

Most of these things are just everyday usual things that help expose the public to us more and more. If the novelty wears off then we will be less unusual to the average person.
MlleEerin you are so right People have a very very bad image of a cross dresser and like Sam is trying to say some people are outright put off by us, I say that very few of us interact with people on a daily basses so what do they real know about us.

Any time that a Cd's goes out in the day time and do every day things are a very big help for our community, I feel that this gives people ( IF WE GET READ) a chance to see us as every day people, not to many of us go out in the day.

People who do not know Cd's feel that we all are gay or just working girls and it is that working girl image that our community is label with and that's because that is all that people know about us.

We need to do a better job in showing people who we are if not then our community will always have a up hill battle.

I know lot of us want to do more for our community........but the risk factor is just to big and more Cd's are in the closet then those who go out so I feel that a very small number is left to carry the load and stand up for our community.....and I say thank you.


LA CINDY LOVE

[battybattybats]

There we go, now the balls rolling.

C'mon folk, if you aren't doing anything surely there's something you can do.

Join in and show us you care about others. Ask about how you can do something someone else has done.

If your terrified and stuck deep in the closet you can go to a media article on a transgender piece of news, go to the comments section and using a totally made-up anonymous name make a 'transgender is ok' type of comment.

That wont hurt you and every voice counts, every person can help.

Then come here and add your name to the list of those doing something to help, big and small, out and closeted.

If you can post here at all then you can do at least that.

[Lisa Golightly]

Nuffink, which as I tend to unknowingly gather the forces of malcontent and division when I do get involved is probably the most positive thing I can do :)

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Its not much, but I support my sisters out there that might need someone to talk to. I dont go to meetings and whatnot anymore because I feel I've grown beyond the need for them. Sometimes I march in the parades and lend a helping hand at charity auctions.

Thats what I can do for now

Zara

[Mydia]

Its not much, but I support my sisters out there that might need someone to talk to.

Pfft, not much? That means THE WORLD to a lot of people...It lets them know they aren't alone and that they have someone to be open with without fear of rejection.

I do this, too. I met a fellow transgirl on Gaia Online and we've become really great friends. I referred her to this forum as well :3

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Pfft, not much? That means THE WORLD to a lot of people...It lets them know they aren't alone and that they have someone to be open with without fear of rejection.


Thankyou for saying so cause like my other post about being an artist... I'm my own worst critic. Sometimes I just feel like I didnt say enough or do enough ya know?

At the same time, I get a lot of support back and make new friends out there. So there is a wonderful exchange.

I'm here if anyone just wants to talk. I may not be as knowledgeable as some being that I only crossdress, but I am a good listener ;)

*hugs*

Zara

[battybattybats]

Pfft, not much? That means THE WORLD to a lot of people...It lets them know they aren't alone and that they have someone to be open with without fear of rejection.

I do this, too. I met a fellow transgirl on Gaia Online and we've become really great friends. I referred her to this forum as well :3

I concur! That is a lot. It's also in the list of things people can do in the article i linked!

Lady Zara and you too Mydia are both doing important things which do count!

We need to celebrate those who do these things and to encourage more to join in.

If we all do a little bit it all adds up to a lot!

[Miss Tessa]

What have I done?

Well actually, not much, other than give advice, lessons, and support to my fellow TG's.

And the other thang I have been doing is educating my family on TG issues so they will understand their other daughter better!

I think I'm making a lot of progress with informing and being accepted by my mother and father better for the girl I am.