Smiling Huh?

[Sarasometimes]

Does anyone else here have trouble smiling when dressed in public...? I think that men are taught early to maintain that guard. If we when enmale smile at other men it gives them a bad vibe so, for me at least, I still have that embedded in my brain. I act very different when dressed and with GG but still need to consciously remember to smile. This behavior is normal for women. I think I have a lot of femme mannerisms down fairly well but this is one that i am having trouble with. Any feedback would be great. Thanks, Sara

[Desiree2bababe]

I can certainly relate. Smiling is a big part in passing for sure. I never could get it right and when I tried, my cheeks hurt the next day.

[Angel.Marie76]

Does anyone else here have trouble smiling when dressed in public...? I think that men are taught early to maintain that guard. If we when enmale smile at other men it gives them a bad vibe so, for me at least, I still have that embedded in my brain. I act very different when dressed and with GG but still need to consciously remember to smile. This behavior is normal for women. I think I have a lot of femme mannerisms down fairly well but this is one that i am having trouble with. Any feedback would be great. Thanks, Sara

When I was at the club the other night, my GG friend reminded me that I needed to smile more.. at first I was so nervous, but as the jitters faded, (i.e. wandering around a packed club fully dressed and not getting a single rude comment or look) I found myself finding reasons to smile very easily.

For me, it was confidence that I felt like I was passing, or that I could be myself and not have to worry about the stupidity of people that have no respect for the free will of others. This helped remind me that I was out to have FUN, d@mn it! I'm sure that, perhaps, if I had been harassed at any point in the night I might have had reasons to mute myself again (or not, right? ;-} )... regardless, for the .02$ it's worth, perhaps it is the glow from the 'pink fog' within that should give you reasons to smile. :D :hugs:

[AliciaWeb]

I think Angel has made an important point, confidence is a key to easier smiling. I always find that the first minutes of a trip out fairly tense and have to be very concious of facial expression. As I am accepted, (or at least have no adverse reaction), confidence increases I relax and the smiling becomes more natural, a self supporting spiral.

Keep smiling.

Alicia

[Miss Tessa]

Actually, that is one of the key mannerisms you need to pass well as a woman if you expect to be transsexual and live like one.



It was hard for me to learn that.It is one of the most difficult mannerisms to develope and learn.

When you are walking on the sidewalk and are about to pass somebody walking toward you, instead of giving the man a little nod like another man would, you must remember you are dressed and made up like a female and need to SMILE.

[Christie ann]

I hardly ever smile at men, but no matter how I am dressed, I try to remember to give woman some eye contact and a quick smile. In almost every occurrence I get a great smile back. Personally I think they like a man looking them in the eye instead of at their chest.

[Sweet Cindy]

I'm guilty of not smiling enough. But I look like an angry raccoon when I do. So I don't.
Practice, practice...

[windycissy]

No doubt about it, a smile is the best camouflage! I'm always so happy to be out and about as a woman that it comes naturally :)

[docrobbysherry]

In some Southern European countries, if a woman smiles at a strange man, it is an invitation to flirt with her. Women there, don't smile nearly as much as in the US.

I was in Moscow this summer. No one was smiling there. The women don't even look anyone in the face. Women shop keepers/workers don't even smile at their customers!:sad:

[Sally24]

I slowly learned to smile more by doing all of my photographs. I would pose for the photo, try to think of something funny and laugh, then tone that down to a nice smile. Eventually I found how to smile like that without trying too much.

I notice now that almost all of my photos I'm smiling in so it does work, just takes lots of practice.

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[Alice B]

To smile is a basic part of my nature, so I don't have to worry about that.

[Karren H]

I don't have a problem smiling no matter how I'm dressed!!

Happy girls always smile!!

:):):)

[Deborah Jane]

If you smile round my way, they wonder what you know that they don,t :heehee:

[Lisa Golightly]

Always been a pouter myself...

[Nadia-Maria]

Smiling may be cultural. I will speak only for my country.
Of course girls do smile more often, but smiling is essentially specific to the person and personality. Extraverted people are more expected to smile (and speak loudly and laugh) than introverted ones. Often the expression is more or less neutral, but I know a lot a men that are always smiling.

As your typical introvert, it has always been extremely unnatural to me to keep a smiling face.
Hence it was extremely difficult to take a good pic of me in the past, because I don't know to smile at will. I smile only if you tell a good joke.

The first pics I took of myself enfemme were very bad especially due to my too serious and unsmiling face. So that I needed as a rule to take over than 100 pics to have at least one pic to keep...

After a year of taking pics of myself as Nadia, I believe to have done a good job as for smiling. But I need always to keep present in mind I MUST smile.
For pics it's much more easy now than yet for videos. Often my first video is to throw away because I forgot to smile throughout it.

In any case, training is the key.
If I succeeded in it, you can do it

Yes we can !

Kisses

Nadia

[tamarav]

I seem to have a problem not smiling. I mean come on, if we are out and dressed we should all be smiling like Cheshire cats.

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Sometimes I feel like a grinning fool...but I love it.

Tami

[Sam44]

I hardly ever smile at men, but no matter how I am dressed, I try to remember to give woman some eye contact and a quick smile. In almost every occurrence I get a great smile back. Personally I think they like a man looking them in the eye instead of at their chest.

Amen.

Based on this thread I'll have to think about smiling at men more instead of a verbal greeting. I (almost) always get a smile from women whether I just smile or if I say "Good morning" (or whatever.) Men are a little more hit or miss: perhaps I should just be smiling to help lessen the cognitive disconnect caused by my cloths and my beard.

[KandisTX]

I have found that when out and about, if I have a smile on my face, people tend to be less scrutinizing of me while en femme. Women tend to smile more than men, so if you are dressed as a woman, and are doing your best to pass, but you are not smiling, that will likely bring closer examination of you from others, thereby outing you and possibly ruining your good time ;) So, I say this to you SMILE LADIES, SMILE... besides, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Tess]

This topic is an example of why I love this website. It never occured to me about smiling, even though I know that women smile much more than men in most situations. I think I lost some of my smiling ability as I moved through the ranks of management and had to quit being the court jester making comments from the back of the room. It's a struggle now for me to get a natural looking smile when photographed. Well, here's another area for me to work on. On a related topic, how about laughing? I'm not a very feminine laugher...you can hear me from the next county.

[Nicole Erin]

Well there are different smiles of course.
There is a way to smile at a man without looking gay.

Just kinda have to learn the man to man smile and the en femme smile.
For the man smile, the upward nod helps too, a "manly" gesture, not something to do en femme.

I gotta say when I am dressed I can't help but smile. If I try it for photos it looks stupid...

[Violet]

On a related topic, how about laughing? I'm not a very feminine laugher...you can hear me from the next county.

Heh. I'm a GG and oftentimes you can hear my laugh in the next county, too, though it isn't overly low-pitched. And if you really get me going, I can let out a most unfeminine snort or two.

I know for me, when I am out and about, smiling is oftentimes a nervous reaction. You know how dogs grin and show their teeth when they are being submissive? Kind of like that. Like, "See? I'm friendly and nice and non-threatening! Nothing to see here!"

ETA: Also, I wonder if smiling itself can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like when you stand up straight, you feel stronger and more confident-- I wonder if the same holds true for smiling. That the more you do it, the more confident and natural it will feel.

[Sally24]

I wonder if smiling itself can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.That the more you do it, the more confident and natural it will feel.

And happier.....I agree!

[Fab Karen]

I live in a metropolitan city. If I had a dollar for every GG in public who isn't smiling, I'd be rich.

[Annemarie]

Smiling may be cultural. I will speak only for my country.
Of course girls do smile more often, but smiling is essentially specific to the person and personality. Extraverted people are more expected to smile (and speak loudly and laugh) than introverted ones. Often the expression is more or less neutral, but I know a lot a men that are always smiling.

As your typical introvert, it has always been extremely unnatural to me to keep a smiling face.
Hence it was extremely difficult to take a good pic of me in the past, because I don't know to smile at will. I smile only if you tell a good joke.

The first pics I took of myself enfemme were very bad especially due to my too serious and unsmiling face. So that I needed as a rule to take over than 100 pics to have at least one pic to keep...

After a year of taking pics of myself as Nadia, I believe to have done a good job as for smiling. But I need always to keep present in mind I MUST smile.
For pics it's much more easy now than yet for videos. Often my first video is to throw away because I forgot to smile throughout it.

In any case, training is the key.
If I succeeded in it, you can do it

Yes we can !

Kisses

Nadia

I agree with the above, smiling in pics did not come naturally to me at first, but with practice anybody can do it, just learn to relax a bit.

[Tess]

Now that this thread has pointed out the use of smiling, it seems obvious to me. Anyway, here in the south women smile and talk to complete strangers, even in the nation's 4th largest city. I really notice the difference when I travel to the northeast.

[Jennifer Cox]

Perhaps Take That had it right when they sang Shine ...

Stop being so hard on yourself
It's not good for your health
I know that you can change
So clear your head and come round
You only have to open your eyes
You might just get a big surprise
And it may feel good and you might want to smile, smile, smile :bs:

(No, I don't remember lyrics that well, but I've just been watching their concert at the O2 on TV. OMG, I must be getting really girly watching boy bands! :eek:)

[Deborah Jane]

OMG, I must be getting really girly watching boy bands! :eek:)

You,ll be wanting to dress as a woman next :heehee:

[Jennifer Cox]

You,ll be wanting to dress as a woman next :heehee:

First chance I get - whenever that will be! :sad:

[Anna the Dub]

I smile at everyone when I say hello, regardless of how I am dressed. Even in male mode (well androgynous mode, as I don't do male mode anymore), most men usually respond with a smile themselves. I suppose it helps that everyone I know knows I am ts, so the men don't look at me as one of them really (I know this because some of them whilst talking to me look down at my chest!! And I am only an A cup). The women all respond with a big smile back to me. Makes me feel good.

[Shannen]

I have really learned what a difference there is between how women "interact" with smiles since I started walking around amongst them... as one of them!

I find that as a man, I can still interact with that smile with women... they seem to be very willing to share a smile with a man, something I didn't think was possible a few years ago... come on! really! If a man is smiling at me he must want something, right?

At first, it really bothered me! I thought I was evil for walking around as a women, tricking all these real GG's into smiling at me! Now I realize they are smiling at another human being, doesn't matter what gender I am presenting as.

It makes me sad to hear there are cities/regions where people are not looking at each other and smiling.... Let's get some good vibes going and spread them today!

:hugs:

[T Sara Lynn]

I'm surprised people attach such a stigma to a simple smile! Boy mode or not, I've always smiled (and usually made eye contact) with the people I pass on the street. I've never thought twice about it, either, it is me, it's what I've always done. Reactions? They range from none to a smile and maybe a "hello" in return. If somebody wants to think I'm either gay or whatever I don't care. What I am is friendly. That's what I think people see.

Yes, GG's do smile more than men do, but men smile, too.

[Dragster]

I'm with Christie Ann, I smile at most people I pass, and I also get many more smiles back from women than from men. It might be different if I went out dressed!

Tamarav, when I'm out, I'm not dressed (wife is still anti), but I still smile like a Cheshire cat. Could it be because that's where I live?

Karren Hutton, we all know you don't have a problem smiling, I've yet to see a photograph of you without a HUGE grin on your face. You must have the biggest smile on this forum!

Tony

[Serena]

I don't normally smile in male or female mode anyway. I guess it's hard because I don't like doing it. I only do if I see another friend in which I usually wave and/or smile.