Accepting being a TS

[RobynGirl]

:brolleyes:
Hi everyone,
I have been dealing with cd issues for years now. :doh: I am 55 and on my second marriage to a very loving wife. I came out to her a year ago as a cd and she wants nothing to do with it which I accept. But more and more , I feel like a woman:straightface: The cding does not seem to fill my desires and I seem to dwell on the fact that I want to become a woman. All of my interests seem to be dominated by things that a woman does. Clothes shopping, being totally feminine and using beauty products, etc. I often dream that I had the surgery, was working as a woman, dating men, and most importantly having sex with men as a real woman:heehee: Has anyone else ever felt this way?:daydreaming: More importantly has anyone else ever gone through with this surgery and how has your life turned out? Would love to hear from everyone, your 2 cents would be appreciated:2c:

Thanks,
Robyn:love:

[Jessicaparkson]

My earliest memories are of me hating my sexuality. I'm only 18 but my memory goes way back. I just started on the journey myself but I know how you feel in regards to the female mindset :)

[melissaK]

Lots of us find the desire increases with time. A noted therapist and MTF TS community leader Anne Vitale has said every male she has seen professionally who transisitioned started as a CDer, just not all CDers transition. http://www.avitale.com/ .Somewhere in one of her essays she gives an example of what she characterizes as a somewhat typical male CD in his early 50's who just snaps and has a complete mental breakdown after years of trying to fight the desire to transition. I went through something similar. So, no, you aren't alone in any sense.

It helps if you are a reader. You can read Vitale's site front to back, then every site she links to, front to back, and every site they link to. There are more than a few books written by MFT TS who have transitioned, and you should read one or two. Here's a website of transitioned women. http://www.karenserenity.com/OldSerenity/main.htm

You'll find a fair number who create a middle ground by opting for female hormones and no surgery, and many do hormones and don't even transition but atill live as men. There really is a broad spectrum of choices.

In the end, you will have to make the choices that suit you. I wish you the best in figuring out your own path.

hugs,
'lissa

[RobynGirl]

:)Thanks girls for your comments and hope to hear from more of the girls:)
:brolleyes:Robyn

[GypsyKaren]

I had SRS a year ago, life is good and I'm happy as a clam, I am.

Karen Starlene :star:

[T Sara Lynn]

Robyn, like you I'm in my 50's (56), but unlike you I hid and denied who I was until I was 52 or 53. The reason was I knew as a child that dressing was never going to be enough, I had to be a girl. I dressed from early childhood until I was a teen, then (((poof))) - buried it, partially through disappointment that I could never be who I was and partially due to the social conditions of the times. After I came to grips with who (or what) I was and resurfaced, I knew a transition wasn't a desire, it was a necessity. However, there were obstacles, and my wife WAS NOT one of them (as it turned out). I was well established in my life in the male role, I'm in the aviation industry (where news travels FAST), and I live and socialize in a community that may have time trying to deal with the "new" me. So, I decided (and it wasn't easy) to "just" do HRT. The way I look at it, I live as a girl full time, but I disguise myself as a male when I have to! For me, it works. So far, so good. However, I am undeniably challenged by an almost constant desire to "take that last step" - come out completely and live full time as the girl I am. For right now, reason prevails, but in the future? We all have our travails, we all live our lives differently. I do what makes me happy, with a modicum of compromise for those I know and love. I'm sure, with time, you'll do the same. And believe me, your age is NOT an issue.

Hugs ~~~~ Sara Lynn

[Valeria]

I was well established in my life in the male role, I'm in the aviation industry (where news travels FAST), and I live and socialize in a community that may have time trying to deal with the "new" me. So, I decided (and it wasn't easy) to "just" do HRT. The way I look at it, I live as a girl full time, but I disguise myself as a male when I have to! For me, it works. So far, so good. However, I am undeniably challenged by an almost constant desire to "take that last step" - come out completely and live full time as the girl I am. For right now, reason prevails, but in the future?
People have successfully transitioned as airline pilots and preserved their career before. In at least one case, they transitioned on the job and yet most of their copilots don't know they transitioned. For jobs like this, it *really* helps to be relatively unreadable as having a trans past, so I'd budget for FFS (facial feminization surgery), and I'd plan on being on hormones for a while and having said surgery before going full time at the work place. Also, start permanent facial hair removal (electrolysis or laser) and start working on a female voice yesterday.

But it can be done if you really want to do it.

[T Sara Lynn]

Thank you, Valeria! I do know people in the aviation industry who have successfully transitioned. However, I've also been witness to the remarks and derision that they sometimes face. I'm not saying that has a real effect on my going further, but it is at least a minor consideration. Having said that, I am satisfied (for now) where I am. If I decide I "can't stand it any longer", I will step out and live full time.

~~~~Sara Lynn

[Kaitlyn Michele]

hi Robyn and others..

be careful about the anne vitale article!!!:o:o
i'm being kinda sarcastic here but the truth is i never recovered from reading it..

the part that got me was reading about the old age ts women who never transitioned and how bitter and angry they are...
i also found that when i read about her description of a
middle age ts that ifelt as if i was looking at myself in the mirror..

personally i feel that my crossdressing was always my female brain bursting out and not sexual (altho i admit those sexual feelings confuse me still)

but
because you are dealing with an identity crisis, it is not about sex and it can be very serious for you...get as much info as possible before you decide what to do..

i'm currently on HRT and i've decided i have to transition...some i've talked to try to challlenge me when i say i have no choice, and i respect that they feel that way..but i know what my gender dysphoria has done to me, and just because i've MANNED UP (as i call it) my whole life doesnt mean i havent suffered HORRIBLY on the inside..

now that i'm on HRT, i feel much more centered and "real"...it's had very LITTLE effect so far on my body (started in july), but knowing that i am moving in the right direction, and having those chems in my brain has been a wonderful revelation to me. You can do HRT for a long long time before anybody would know (not counting wife/gf/bf here)..




do you have any tg friends? i live in nj , near philly...pm me if you'd like and we can talk more..