Tempted to go all the way?

[Deborah Jane]

Are you ever tempted to go all the way and start living as a woman full time and even possibly consider SRS at some point in the future?

I am often tempted, but i,m not sure if i ever will.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm not sure temptation is the right way to put it. Either your place in TG land is rooted in the TS end of the spectrum or it's not. If you aer TS, then whether or not to transition is something which must be somehow reconciled.

I guess if one identifies with being a CD'er, then temptation to transition may be common. But I'd think that succombing to this would lead to disaster more often than not once the novelty of living full time as a woman wore off.

[Miss Tessa]

The only advice I can give is a personal account.

When I started my Real Life Test the novelty wore off after like a week. The bad parts of being a woman were bothersome, such as always making sure your nails were perfect and clean and taking care of yourself to female standards. And also the mental aspect of living as a TS was starting to take it's toll because the hormones were driving me crazy, making me have worse moodswings than usual and crying alot.
After a few months I started to get better emotionally and thinking more clearly as my mind acclimated to the hormones.

If you're not prepared to loose your male self entirely and can't work through it psychologically then I don't think someone should transition. Even at that time in my life I had friends who were TS and CD that told me maybe full time wasn't for me.

[TxKimberly]

Tempted might be too strong a word but I have of course thought about the idea. Thing is I love my wife and no where in my vows did it say "I will honor my vows . . . until I decide I just 'have to be me' and live life as a woman."
Add to that the fact that we have built a reasonably good life for us that I am not willing to throw away.
Add to that the fact that modern medical science can make us look "more" femme than we do now, but they still fall short of making most 40+ men look like a convincing woman.
Add to that . . . (you get the picture)

[avril findlay]

Living as woman full time is definitely on my agenda when I can qualify for early reirement. I'm out to my family and friends and I know I can pass as a female. I wouldn't like SRS, but I would love breast implants. Wearing a bra properly? Low cut dresses? Yes please!

[Joy Carter]

I truly belive I should have been born female. But I set my lifes course years ago, and I shall remain male, as long as my spouse will have me.

[Ally K]

I've often thought about it, but I love my male life too much. I love the fact that I can go back and forth from male to female.

Of course, when I'm en femme, I don't want to change back! lol But I think that's how everyone is...

[Sandra]

My SO did this about four years ago.

She lives as a female full time. As to SRS/hormones she has said that she doesn't feel the need to be a female as most TS's do.

[Angie G]

I've often thought it would be nice. but it's just a dream for me. hun If there is a way for you to do it and you want it maybe you should go for it Deborah. :hugs:
Angie

[lisa531]

I know i have thought about it, when i was young at times i really want to be a girl but the testosterone would kick in and would wonder what is wrong with me? the desire to be a women is still there stronger on some days than others, i know its something that is hard for us to deal with and to go all the way is a huge steep, sometimes i wonder how different i would be if i had the internet when i was younger to see that i wasn't alone.

[TommiTN]

Tempted, yes from time to time. But I have no interest in SRS. I like my "in between" status. I can present either as female or male as desire and circumstances permit.

[TGMarla]

Like so many others, I have considered it, and even longed for it. But ultimately, I will not. SRS and full-time living as a woman is just not in the cards for me. Joy and Kimberly summed it up best for my situation. I really love "being" a woman, but I'm just not going to go through transition and SRS to "become" one.

I know it can be frustrating, Deborah. But coming to grips with who and what we are (in my case, a MTF crossdresser with transexual tendencies who will not be getting a sex-change) can take some time and can be somewhat discouraging at times. I've learned to deal with it.

[stevie b]

I am thinking about it more and more. Since I have been able to dress when ever I wanted to (apart from work) and now with my wifes blessing I really feel I have found the real me. I have seen my doctor and have been refered the Genger Identity Clinic, now waiting for an appointment.
As for hormones, this may be the way forward but not sure about surgery.
xx

[AshleyCD]

Some people just know from a very early age. I think those of us who just think about it are more on the fence and can only really know if they would be happier by trying to live as one full time.

This Halloween was oddly surreal for me. I have been getting better at makeup and have hair that really helps soften features. I startled several people as they were not expecting my voice when I walked pass them and said hi back to them. A friend even said she kept taking double takes as she would walk back into the room and ask herself who the women is, but then realize that it was me. I went to several parties and got the same reactions, so at this point my confidence has been boosted, though I need to find that female voice, I think probably the hardest part for many of us.

The really interesting part though for me was not feeling anxiety. I felt it when I first came out of the bathroom after dressing at my friends house and they didn't know what I was doing at that point. As they are all very kink friendly it didn't phase them for a second and actually didn't say anything at first. After that intial anxiety I just felt natural and the rest of the night wasn't nervous at all. Actually felt less nervous then in my normal male mode.

So now I know that the only thing holding me back is my voice. I don't know if at this point I would want to go all the way, but I certainly want to practice getting the voice. I know now that I can actually relax out in public, though except for Halloween I would be nervous unless I could create that female voice and once I did I am sure now that I would be totally comfortable.

As I don't live where I am able to practice I will have to practice on the commute to school. If only we could be as lucky as the person on youtube, who has tutorials and can easily switch between the deep male voice and a very natural female voice. You know the one that uses tools to help out...

One last thing is I have found that I no longer feel the need to always do the whole dress up to just wear the clothes. I really like just wearing the blouses and skirts around the house, even in male mode. It is really to bad one can't go out looking totally like a female until one speaks and then get the looks. There would be no question for me that it would be the way that I want to present myself to the world.

Oh the very last thing is I would not take hormones as I do enjoy and like having it. It is probably the one thing that makes me go ok and realize that to someone who truely feels that they should be a women, that it doesn't matter to them about the sexual pleasure. I enjoy my sex drive and from experiences I have read it pretty much gets lost, but for them it is a good thing. Read people transitions and you will get a better idea of how you fit into the TG world, hope this helps.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I guess I'm jsut weird....weird being the conigtative word here since I dress female aside from my gender maleness....

have I thought about being exclusively female???? I guess because I know I am perfectly happen and balenced at adressing my bi gender...(a word that I keep coming back to over other terms that float around here...TG Transvestite, crossdresser et al)....The bottom line si I believe and feel that I have a female side of self and a male side of self. One is the dominant side, my male side, since that's what I've got "down there" and the female side comes out as Stephanie as well as being shaved all over "except" and in dressing femme and having my toes painted 24/7 as a symble of my bi-gender when not dressed as a female....

So this allows me to be perfectly happy with myself and balanced as well....so I must be weird huh????

[Jonianne]

The older I become, the more I wish I had been born female. I know myself pretty well. Inside, I identify as a male, a sensitive male, but a male nonetheless. I wish I could identify as a female, but in reality I don't. I do identify with females, not as a female, but with females - if that makes any sense.

So, with my very male body and mind, no, I am not tempted. I will have to be satisified with just having my female spirit.

[Sonia Greene]

Been thinking about this, and my considered opinion is, that were I younger, I would transition. Now I take certain medicaments for typical age-related failings only, which could be difficult for the hormones and so on, to co-operate with.
Since the age of mid-20s I have neither done, nor watched any sport. It seems an awful waste of effort to me! I know almost nothing about car engines or machinery in general.
But I like shopping, colours and clothes, and am very happy to spend time talking about things including feelings, rather than doing energetic pursuits.....and I can cook pretty good too. Could I dressmake? Perhaps, if I applied myself...the answer's Yes!

[StaceyJane]

I suppose I have too much invested in my life as a male. But if my family were just completely ok with it and there were no money concerns and I didn't have have to worry about what other people thought and if surgery were quick and and painless....
Yes. I would do it so fast it would make your head spin.
Becoming a woman is a goal I'll probably never accomplish. Maybe, IU can come out to my family, maybe I could even get to the point that I lived as a woman everywhere but at work...
But the actual surgery might be too far...

But We'll see...
Who Knows what tomorrow may bring......



Stacey :)

[Faith12]

Hi Deborah when I was a kid I would nightly wish to wake the next day as a girl,i remember falling asleep saying over and over " I wish I was a girl". I don't know how my life would be are if I would be happy today if that dream to be a girl come true. But sadly now that I'm alot older it may be I have come to accept and like my male side,and have for to long repressed the female male side of me.Galdly I have found you girls, and I see ( and with you all's help) I'm not going to repress the female side anymore.I think it is best for me to have both worlds and see where this path is going to lead me to.

[Jessicaparkson]

I'm transitioning currently and I'll definitely say it's not for everyone. I have no doubts that this is what I need to do though.

[Scotty]

I'm pleased just having my femme side, hidden under hte male side during work hours otherwise femme off hours.

It's a good balance and b/c of life I cannot transition, nor do I really want to - I like my life as it is and I like my body looking like a woman under the clothes, it's for me anyway not for anyone else.

[Denise01]

Living full time as a Woman, is definately in the plans for me, and if all goes well, I hope that will happen within the next year.

If all goes well I hope to start to Transition fully witin 12 to 18 months. SRS in the future depends on wether the doctors will allow. That is my long range plans at present

Denise

[Karren H]

Plain and simply..... nope......

[Kathy4ever]

I would luv 2 live 24/7 as femme. One day I'll get the nerve to let the real me be shown. It is depressing to hide your true feelings and thoughts.

[DeborahAnne]

I would love to of and I think I would of had I realised 40 odd years ago that I wasn't alone out there. Have to be content now as an older lady with meeting and encouraging others.

[stellatoo]

I have thought about it; and before meeting my ex about 14 years ago I had started making tentative plans to live full time-or as much as I could considering work.

Now that I'm on my own again it's reared its head once more but...

I do so much more now in a male role that if I didn't go 24/7 it probably wouldn't be much more than what I'm doing now!

Still there's this urge tugging away at my skirt hem like an insistent child...


Stella

[michelle2b]

Since early childhood, I did not belong in the male world. That does not necessarily mean that I belong in the female world. I think gender is a spectrum and while I do not belong to the male end of it, I really have no idea what it really means to be on the female end. In fact, nobody on earth is truly on the male end or the female end. If such people exist on both ends, they would probably be psychotically uncaring or psychotically emotional (I know I am making an exaggeration here).

Anyway, while I know that I do not fit into the male world and I am unsure what it really means to be female, I do feel more comfortable being myself when I am in the female side of the spectrum because the female side provides me a framework in which I feel real and I feel a sense of belonging.

About going all the way, I do not know yet. I have some reservations about complete transition - I need acceptance by my family, a decent occupation that is a continuation of my career I have built so far, a close circle of friends, good health, kids and a partner (female partner - I am lesbian) who will stay with me for the rest of our lives. If I can have all of these, then I certainly would like to go all the way. If not, I won't. At present, I am merely testing the waters on the female side.

[az_azeel]

There was a time when i was little i used to want to be a girl so bad.. those were cold dark and lonely days. In fact there was little known about being a crossdresser and like many others I thought i was the only one.. It was only as little as ten years ago i found the value of the internet and started doing some research.. it was then that i realised that who i am, what i am and more important accepting the fact that im simply a crossdresser and that im not alone... self acceptance is most important in my eyes.. there are a number of people that yes srs is what they need and it must be an emotional rollercoaster for people in that frame of mind and good luck to them, however i have seen programmes that follow transgendered people and there have been one or two that realised it was not for them.. interesting thread Debs and i will end this on a lighter note.. i know how much you love your music... :heehee:

wsiPtvfdvDY

[Kate Simmons]

In the beginning I was way up there Debs and it wouldn't have taken much to push me over the line to transition. Once I realized it was all about getting in touch with the feelings for myself, however, it was an entirely different story. I can fulfill either role really but it's always my choice my friend.;):)

[Samantha43]

I'm happy where I am. I wouldn't change a thing.

[ElaineB]

I sometimes consider it, just for the adventure. I suppose it is appealing more now that I realize I could really do it. I am my own boss and I work from home. Although I am hardly rich, my savings are such that if I wanted to I could quit working and retire today ... so I really have little or nothing to lose finance-wise. Most of my old friends and family I rarely see in person, and it would make little difference to me if I never saw about a third of them again. So why not?

Well... the answer is "because it would be harder to meet women." Most days that is enough to discourage me. Most...

I usually think it would make it harder to meet people in general too ... but ... on the other hand I would meet different kinds of people while dressed, and have nothing to hide from them, and that thought is interesting enough to counterbalance the "no women" problem ... in my mind anyway.

I am not keen on an actual sex change, although having real boobs would be nice. I do not socialize like a woman. Doing it with guys doesn't appeal to me ... so I had best keep all my equipment. Maybe I might change my mind after being en femme 24/7 for a while though ... who knows? That is the draw in the idea - that it would be something really new for me.

On the other hand, aside from the fake boobs being a pretend woman would probably suit me as well as being a real one would ... and has the big advantage I can change back when I want. And I can do a bit about the boobs by building up big pec muscles.

So there I sit, gradually collecting ways to fake femme and trying not to let it get in the way of my male social life and keep an eye open for interesting CD opportunities all at the same time, trying to have it all.

[imarocker2]

If I had the money, I would consider it. But I think I am getting too old to pay that much cash for a result that I would probably be less than happy with.

[jazmine]

I fantasize about it. But that's all. I'm going to spend the rest of my days on this rock as male(I feel more comfortable that way). I'll just wait till my next time around, to be female. It'll be a lot cheaper that way, and more natural. My guy-side is too deeply seated with myself and others to change it permanently.

[kymmieLorain]

Thought about it yes, Concidered sometimes, will it really happen probaly never. If I lost my family and had the money to do the whole package. including total body maybe.

Kymmie

[MJ]

if i ever win the lotto i will change myself in to a super model worthy to grace the covers of playboy... but i fear I'll just be boring little old me :heehee:

[Rachel Welsley]

I have been told and I quote" you can remodel the house all you want but whatever you do, don't change the plumbing." doe this sound like she'd have no problem with me transitioning as far as pre-op trans, or is that just me?

[Alandra]

I almost told my single-parent, conservative, Lutheran, raised in south-central Minnesota during the 1950's dad when I was a grade-schooler what was on my mind. I really wanted to be a girl, and I knew there were surgeries & everything to do it, even at THAT early age. (This was the early-to-mid 80's)

I'm not sure if "the world" got to me, or I realize how nice it is to be a man sometimes, or if I now realize how difficult transition really would be, or what the story is.

But at this point, I am content to be the best damn CD this side of the North Atlantic, and be male OR female as I see fit as my body-type and overall lifestyle allows for this.

Ooooo-RAH

[joann426]

have thought of it to but ill go along with kimberlyalso i just love my wife to and love just what i am doing just fine aint going to change any thing on me at all:love:

here i say

girls just wanna have funn!!!

[Farrah]

When I was younger, I thought about going all the way.

[suchacutie]

Now that I've tasted life from the perspecitive of both genders, I can't imagine going back to only having one gender available. I love being able to present, and live, in both genders and feel very privledged to have a supporting spouse and the chance for what is, effectively, two separate lives.

tina

[Laura_Stephens]

If I had the opportunity to live my life over, I would have transitioned whern young -- even if it meant that I had to give up the very comfortable lifestyle that I live now.

[LilSissyStevie]

If given the chance when I was a little kid, I would have become a girl in a heartbeat. Girls, after all, didn't need an excuse to be feminine. Let's face it, it's much easier to be a girl than to be an effeminate boy and that doesn't change much as you get older either. The thing is, I wanted to become a girl. I never felt that I actually was a girl or that biology had played some kind of cruel trick on me. I was girly but I wasn't a girl.

I spent a lot of time going down blind alleys wondering if I was gay, bi, TS, a pervert or just mentally ill. I thought about transition a lot when I was in my 20's. But I wasn't like any of the people I knew who were TS. I wasn't a guy. I wasn't a girl. I wasn't TS. I wasn't gay. I wasn't bi. I wasn't exactly hetero. I finally came to the conclusion that the kids in elementary school already had me figured out. I just didn't like the verdict: I was a sissy, fairy, nellie boy, nancy boy or whatever they are called in your neighborhood. Once I accepted it and came to appreciate that aspect of myself there was no need to transition, I already arrived at my destination.:D The transition was all in my mind. I don't have to be a girl to be girly. I don't have to be gay to be a little queer.
:love:

[flacindycd]

I enjoy being able to split my life as a GUY and as CINDY, so I'd have to say positively NO

[trisha59]

This is an interesting question. I do not desire to change anything. But on the other hand if someone put a gun to my head and forced me to change It would not be the end of the world for me. The one thing that do wish for, and no procedure will ever give me, is the experiences of growing up a girl. Getting dressed in your first dress and tights. Getting your first pair of dress shoes, etc. All of those little girl experiences that only little girls get. As soon as we solve that space time thing maybe it will be possible.

[Suzy Harrison]

Although I have never liked being a guy and always felt more female than male - I never thought I would ever transition.

I felt I could never pass, would loose my job and all family and friends would desert me.

As I got older I started to want to change more and more. It got to the stage where I would rather loose everything than to stay the way I was .

But the way things are working out I am able to change, but nothing else will. I get to keep my job, family and friends after all.

So you never know what is just around the corner..

[KarenS]

I'm very content as a man but can't stay away from the other end of teh closet either. I don't think about reassignment.

I can tell you I occasionally see a woman's shape (breasts, hips, butt, wrists, ankles, or neck) when I am out and sigh to myself thinking that I wish I had her shape. Its the size and contours that I think about the most - always things that clearly would help me to pass far easier.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Sure - we all consider that - it is up to each of us to decide for ourselves - however, now having a former brother who had the SRS and seeing what all she has had to go through, I beleive I will stay a crossdresser.

Your sister,

JoAnne Wheeler

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

No I never been tempted. I enjoy CDing and wearing pretty clothes and such, but I still like being a guy. I love having the best of both worlds. Who says that you can't have your cake and eat it too?


Felicity :)

[Raquel June]

I'm on HRT, but I still live as a guy most of the time. When I was about 3 till 12 years old I always prayed to wake up as a girl. After puberty it turned into more of an occasional crossdressing thing that I felt guilty about. A couple years ago I started going out and I realized that I really don't have much in common with most crossdressers.


I suppose I have too much invested in my life as a male.

I can understand that. I think there are really two basic kinds of crossdressers -- the fetishistic ones who get a real thrill out of it and have no desire to be a woman, and the TG ones who just don't want to transition because they think it's not worth it. The TG ones usually also have different places along the gender spectrum where they fit. Some TG crossdressers really hate being guys and the only reason they don't transition is out of fear (often fear of how it'll affect their family), but there are other crossdressers that I would still consider TG, but they're OK with being a guy, too.

I guess I fit in a weird place on the spectrum. I'm TG, and while I'm friends with a lot of crossdressers who do it for fetishistic reasons, I'm also kinda offended by people assuming that's why I do it. I'm slowly transitioning, but at the same time I don't hate being a guy like I used to, and I don't have psychotic anger towards my genitalia like I did for awhile. I honestly

The one thing that really confuses me is the crossdressers who don't get a sexual kick out of it and also don't at all consider themselves TG.

[Jilmac]

I have thought about it now and then but alas, it's just a fantasy.

[SissyMin]

If I changed I would want to know that it would come with good results. That is what is holding back from starting HRT, if I am not happy with the result, than maybe I would've thought better to stay as I am, even if it may not be what I truly want.

[nvlady]

I think I probably speak for ten or twenty girls on here when I say my immediate answer was no and I wasn't even going to read this post.
I am very happy the way I am with an occasional visit to the other side of the closet.

[jenniferTgurl]

Every day! I plan on going full time in the not to distant future, maybe by the end of 2009. As far as SRS goes I doubt I will ever do that, maybe if I were 20 years younger.

[MissConstrued]

The world is my urinal, and I like it that way. :D





The one thing that really confuses me is the crossdressers who don't get a sexual kick out of it and also don't at all consider themselves TG.


Sexual kinks have a way of losing their edge over time, but people still have sex. The raging hormones and sex drive of youth no doubt give way to something different as one ages, perhaps leaving an emotional high or something. At any rate, why try to create another pigeonhole?

[Raquel June]

Sexual kinks have a way of losing their edge over time, but people still have sex. The raging hormones and sex drive of youth no doubt give way to something different as one ages, perhaps leaving an emotional high or something. At any rate, why try to create another pigeonhole?

How am I trying to pigeonhole anyone?

So would you describe yourself as a crossdresser who doesn't get any excitement out of wearing women's clothing? Yet you don't consider yourself to have any transgender feelings? What are the feelings you do have that motivate you to identify as a man yet dress as a woman?

Even referring to each other with feminine pronouns (as 99.9% of M2Fs here do) seems pretty odd if you're not going to admit to any TG feelings. I guess it's just semantics.

[Sophie_C]

The way I see it is that I am TG and fully self-aware of it.

I see gender as a gradient from masculine to feminine and I lie severely toward the feminine side.

Any sort of dressing doesn't change that fact.

So, dressing as a man is simply myself dealing with that situation in relation to the world around me.

I've known this, at least on a subconscious level since I was very, very young.

To answer the question: If there were no negative consequences to myself doing it, I'd consider going the standard RLT and see how it went, with hormones, FFS, the works.

But, that isn't the reality in 2008, now is it? :thumbsdn:

We ALL know the standard story where people lose their job, their families and friends, basically everything they hold dear to themselves as a consequence of transitioning.

It is the exception where such a thing only makes a small negative impact on one's life. In fact, I can't think of a single example where damage was not done to some degree or another as a consequence of transitioning.

I do honestly believe that in under 50 years, people will be identified as TG early enough to have it dealt with before puberty, giving them the ability to have lives relatively close to other women, but in 2008 the public has such a ways to go, that the damage is severe for anyone who goes along that journey.

So, I am too driven by reality to be tempted by it.

[MissConstrued]

So would you describe yourself as a crossdresser who doesn't get any excitement out of wearing women's clothing?

I didn't say that. "Excitement," I suppose, may be subject to semantics. Yeah, I get a kick out of it. But not the kind where one dresses up just to spank the monkey. (Okay, not any more. :o) It's more of a diversion... some people collect stamps. How dull. My friends find me more entertaining than collecting stamps. Which is all very cool, because I wasn't exactly a popular teenager. Maybe it's exciting because it's all just so very wrong. And things that are wrong, you know, are just more fun.



Even referring to each other with feminine pronouns (as 99.9% of M2Fs here do) seems pretty odd if you're not going to admit to any TG feelings. I guess it's just semantics.

I don't. Note my lack of "femme name." I actually racked my brain for days on a user name for this forum, until remembering that I really am just a guy in a dress. I'm not a she, not a her, not Sally, Sue, or Helga. I am not a woman trapped in a man's body. I don't think I have much at all of what they call a "feminine side," though I don't complain too much about how long it takes my date to get ready.... I work, race, shoot, ski, drink beer, and chase women. I am a man, and not confused in the least about it.

Think Eddie Izzard. Jeans and beard, or heels and fabulous makeup -- he's still Eddie. The girls say, "what a beautiful man! I want to have your children!"

[Raquel June]

Yeah, I get a kick out of it. But not the kind where one dresses up just to spank the monkey. (Okay, not any more. :o) It's more of a diversion...

I know what ya mean about not anymore. :heehee:

When I was little I wanted to be a girl so bad, I would always get into my mom's stuff until she started hiding all of it. My parents ended up moving their bedroom upstairs and telling me I wasn't even allowed to ever go up the stairs without one of them with me.

Then after puberty it became an exciting thing for me that I just felt gross about being excited about. I no longer felt like a little boy who wanted to be a girl. I felt like a pervert. So I avoided it as much as possible. I ended up just trying on my GF's clothes about once a month.

When I got out of a long-term relationship a few years ago, I went and bought a whole bunch of clothes, but then I realized it didn't turn me on at all, but it still made me happy just to have the clothes. These days I really don't care what I'm wearing unless I'm going out. I just like to dress more girly when I'm going to be hanging out with people who are going to treat me more girly and not try to talk about football.

I don't mind people calling me my guy name -- especially friends. There are girls with my guy name, after all. I don't like being called "him," though. That makes me feel like I'm being made fun of.

[Sammy777]

I'm not a she, not a her, not Sally, Sue, or Helga. I am not a woman trapped in a man's body. I don't think I have much at all of what they call a "feminine side," though I don't complain too much about how long it takes my date to get ready.... I work, race, shoot, ski, drink beer, and chase women. I am a man, and not confused in the least about it.

I have to agree with pretty much everything you said here.
Because you pretty much described me, lol.

But I do happen to like my name & like being referred by it on here.
Also if all you know is someone's female name on her how else are you supposed to refer to them?
I guess I could call you by your guy name, but I don't know it!
Same goes for most others here.

Yes, for most here [CD'ers anyway] is does boil down to man in a dress,
But does that mean you would still rather be called "Bob"?
If I am/was around other people fully dressed I would not like to be called my [guy] name.
It doesn't matter that I know it is still me & that She is not some "other" person/personality but just rather a part or extension of me that I am showing at that time.

My brain does tend to run down the middle of the gender road as well as left & right. Which makes me equally artistic & logical, happy to be a guy & accepting that I sometimes like to be [or at least play the part of] a She & yes, I have recently begun to realize, accept & to identify as a TG, more so because I like the way I feel & the way I look dressed & it is not just a turn-on/fetish/kink for me.

I think a "kink" or "fetish" is something you like to do, like playing tennis. Its great fun but you can take it or leave it.
This is something unlike a sport or hobby or sexual component that can not be dropped or forgotten about when it no longer suits my wants or needs.

Also, unlike most things, this has a name attached to it.
If Bob likes wearing a leather mask during sex, Bob is still Bob.
If Bob plays golf 5 times a week, he's still Bob.
If Bob spends 30 hours a week playing Warcraft, yup still Bob
But if Bob wears panties, Bob is a Crossdresser.

We all have & use names for different parts of our personalities like sadness, anger, joy, being funny, ect, well you get the point.
So why not a name to help identify this part of yourself?

One more thing, also just like you, I pondered what name I wanted to be known as here & I , like most settled on a female name that I have always liked & since have begun to identify Her by, whatever She was, is now, or will ever become later on.
Doesn't mean I think I am or want to be Her or that I don't like being a guy or want to change, ect, ect.

[edit: Important note, before coming here, I never used a female name for myself]

In short [to late] "A rose by any other name will still smell as sweet."

PS: MissConstrued, Not all of this is a direct response to your quote but rather a bit of rambling thrown in for good measure.
Sorry for the phone book reply.

[Raquel June]

Also, unlike most things, this has a name attached to it.
If Bob likes wearing a leather mask during sex, Bob is still Bob.
If Bob plays golf 5 times a week, he's still Bob.
If Bob spends 30 hours a week playing Warcraft, yup still Bob
But if Bob wears panties, Bob is a Crossdresser.

We all have & use names for different parts of our personalities like sadness, anger, joy, being funny, ect, well you get the point.
So why not a name to help identify this part of yourself?

To be fair, I think more people in leather masks go by "slave" than "Bob."
Last time I tried to play golf everyone kept calling me Petey (that's not my name).
When I'm playing games, my name is Flaming June or Judy Nails or Lilith or Kaminoitte.

Now that I think about it, even considering holiday get togethers, I've probably heard my "real" name less than 5 times in the past month.

[TGMarla]

Deborah, I have been tempted towards that idea all my life. But I came to the conclusion that that particular path is not the one I want my life to take. In coming to that decision, I have been much happier, and much more comfortable in my crossdressing. It's become much more fun, and much less of a weight to carry. But there is not a day that goes by when I don't have that ping of regret that I'm not female. But I'm not going to have SRS. I'm just not.

[jessielee]

Tempted might be too strong a word but I have of course thought about the idea. Thing is I love my wife and no where in my vows did it say "I will honor my vows . . . until I decide I just 'have to be me' and live life as a woman."
Add to that the fact that we have built a reasonably good life for us that I am not willing to throw away...
dear Deborah,
this question has been around a while yet i am glad you posted it.
like Kimberly and others, i am not tempted, because of choices made long ago, because of love.
but i wish i could have considered this long ago. things would have been quite different, i say sometimes. which begs the question; would i deny my children ever having been born if i could go back and do it differently?
upon reflection, i admit-no, i would not if i could.
even so, i feel tg, identifying as a woman inside. just one who's not going to do anything final about it. a chicken? perhaps, but for reasons of choice.
but my real question is;
they say that you are a crossdresser if you dress as the opposite gender. "opposite" clinically or opposite in identification?
am i "female" because i say i feel that way?
or because some silly tests rank me that way?
or is all this just useless fantasy. posturing and utterly laughable if not pathetic, from a technical standpoint?
friends, we can be shot down rationally, logically and clinically
so quickly. we are easy targets.
and can continue to dream and imagine.
and dress.
female or not, received or castigated,
this is heart over head.

[sometimes_miss]

Even referring to each other with feminine pronouns (as 99.9% of M2Fs here do) seems pretty odd if you're not going to admit to any TG feelings. I guess it's just semantics.
I try to address folks in whatever way they want to be addressed. I kind of find the references with opposite pronouns to get rather confusing, as you don't know who or what you are addressing after a while. I'm one of those who don't feel there is anything wrong with being a 'guy in a dress', so I don't mind people addressing me as 'he'. That's what I am, after all. For some, however, the need to identify as female makes them want to feel addressed as 'she' or 'her'. To each their own. The thing that I find kind of absurd is when they start slipping 'sissy' phrases into normal vocabulary, like 'tee hee', 'giggle', 'sweetie' etc., stuff that most women don't ever use. But then, some like it. To each their own. I have to respect that, even though I don't really like it.


Note my lack of "femme name."
I had to think about this for a bit also, before I created an avatar and a name for myself. It's simply easier to have a name for people to address you. 'Sometimes_miss' defines me; 'Lexi' gives you something to call me. As I didn't want to put up my real name here, I simply took a feminine nickname of the masculine name that I would have picked for myself if given the choice.

To answer the original question, then. For a long time, I thought I would be happier if I went for SRS, and became the girl I felt I was supposed to be. Over the years, and much, much research, I discovered why I crossdress and why I feel the way I do, and it's not because I was supposed to be a girl. In fact, the vast majority of 'me' is very, very male (as are probably many of the guys here). So, transitioning would be counterproductive. My crossdressing is an attempt to be pretty, and attractive, a result of being lonely and the stress that comes with that. I never felt the desire to crossdress when I'm in a woman's arms; only when I'm not, and when there doesn't appear any possibility of it happening in the relatively near future.

There is no way I could ever be the pretty female that I yearn to be when I'm dressing up. It's simply a physical impossibility. Also, I'm attracted to women, not men. Becoming a hulking MTF transsexual with unmistakable male body features would make me unattractive to pretty much every female on the planet, destroying any possibility of finding a girlfriend. At least as a somewhat normal male oh, say 90% of the time I have at least a remote chance. Women attracted to male crossdressers are much less than 1% of the female population; women attracted to MTF transexuals is a tiny fraction of that. Women attracted to transexual women who look like linebackers in a dress, I shudder to think of the numbers....oh, maybe, none? And so, no matter how much it seems like a nice dream, I have to remember that reality is a completely different thing. So, no transitioning for me. No SRS for me. I will dress up when I need, and hope and dream of an understanding woman out there for me somewhere, no matter how unlikely it may be (but I also buy lottery tickets). Because, you never know.

[Janie Gunn]

No, corrective surgery isnt something that I'd have, nor would I take hormones. I often wish I had boobs, but the consequences of going through with those things are too great, as I still hope to find a wife and then have kids. I like my male life too much to go all the way, so I just have to be happy dressing like a woman, without pluses or minuses!

[Patrice]

As to whether surgery is in my future, I cant say - I never have been able to plan that far ahead. I take my life one day at a time, always have and always will. But I am going ahead on the other half, took me a year to make up my mind and gather enough courage to do it, from here on out I will be living my life entirely in women's clothing, as a feminine person (notice I didn't say woman).

I have a deep and abiding hatred of labels, even as common language has brought us together it has also acted to keep us apart. Man/woman, black/white, TG/TS, Harvard/Yale, Conservative/Liberal, Masculine/Feminine - maybe it all just means I'm not a team player. I ignore and despise all that tripe, all Ive ever wanted to be is a simple 'ME'. Part of 'ME' is a person who subscribes to the general fashion and grooming practices commonly associated with the female of the species, but I am not trying to BE a woman - I'm just trying to be ME.

I could rant about this labels issue for hours :devil: Final note, I don't want to be taken for a lady, I don't desire for people t come up to me and say 'miss, ma'am, or 'ask the lady'. I don't want to change my name! I just want to be accepted for ME enough for people to say, "Hey Bill, how ya doing today? Nice skirt, where'd you get it?"


Final Final word, I know I used a label above (feminine person). Hated doing it, but thats language for you, cant use it without using labels - no matter how much you hate it. :D

[Christina Nicole]

If I was more aware of my situation before I was married, I'm 95% sure that I would have transitioned. Then I figured I was, to put it very, very simplistically the woman in my life because I had no other woman. Was that wishful thinking or self-delusion? I don't know. Later I realized that I was the woman in my life because I am her. I don't want to leave my wife, so I'm leaving my "her-self" for the lack of a better way of phrasing it. Bad choice either way, but it's better for us even if it might not be better for me alone.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[julie w]

To be successful at transitioning you have to look like a women built like
a women and have you own hair and have a career that you can work as being a women just because you have srs and implants
wont make people think you are a GG I have been fighting being TG
my whole life and have always wanted to be a women but I have to get on with
my life as a man

[Carole Cross]

I have dreamed of being a woman since the age of 12amd at 16 I nearly went through with it but something made me change my mind and I decided to live my life as a man.
I now realise that this was a mistake and I am now planning to go all the way. I know the journey will not be easy and that I could lose the support of my family but I am prepared for it, I hope. :daydreaming:

[TSchapes]

Q: What's the difference between a cross-dresser and a transsexual?
A: Two Years!

Like many here, I have thought about it and when I was younger actually inquired about it. However I never got any guidance on it and through my own indifference, never pursued it. I wonder today what my life would've have turned out like?

However, I'm 55 and I can't see spending 2-3 years of my remaining 20 (if that's what I got) going through transition, upsetting my wife, son and family and spending all that money. Above all, I'm pragmatic. For me just to try and keep Father Time away, is costing me a fortune!

Something that keeps coming back to me though is the question: "Am I not more than just my gender(s)?"

I'm trying hard to keep my TG-ness in check.

-Tracy

[Danielle Hyatt]

Hi Deb


If that is what you really want than go for it. Just be sure that is what you want! Me on the otter hand I will nevr go thorugh it because it is not for me.

Plese PM me if u want.


Your Pal
Dan:D

[jessiejess112]

I've had fantasies about living as a Woman for a long time, and at certain times the urge is stronger. For example when I first started taking digital pictures of me as a female a few years ago and then posting them online. I really liked the positive comments and encouragement, and was seriously thinking about living as a Woman. But after all that initial excitement, I became preoccupied with other things in my personal life, and crossdressing took a back seat. Nowadays, sometimes I can go on for weeks without the need to dress, so I'm happy I didn't take any drastic steps. I know the urge will eventually come back stronger, but based on what happened in the past, I'm pretty sure transition is not for me.