Age Commitments

[Jessicaparkson]

I've known my whole life that I wasn't male but I always tried to ignore it to make my parents happy. I'm going on 19 now and I've been looking into going full time and transitioning. Recently my grandparents (who have been very supportive) said that they would pay for anything I needed to do. I'd like to ask what everyone's opinion is on my age. Some have told me to wait until I'm much older, some say wait a few years, others say if I know it go for it. Thoughts?

[T Sara Lynn]

Jessica, your age can be an issue, and some could make it one. You may be a mature young person, capable of very rational and considered decisions, but not knowing you I wouldn't even make a suggestion as whether to go ahead or not. What I can say is see a therapist. They can legitimize your feelings and answer your questions. Ultimately the choice is up to you, of course, but if you're searching there is no better place to go than to therapy. You'll learn about yourself and it will help you make your decision.

Just for discussions sake, if I was your age, and had made sure I was going the right way - OMG, I wouldn't hesitate! The closer you are to puberty, the more your body will respond. Also, I'd have my whole life in front of me to live as I should (or could) have.

Here's hoping for good advice, young lady. And good luck!

~~~~Sara Lynn

[Sharon]

I see no reason to delay your transition at all, no matter who does or does not support you, as long as you are secure with yourself and your desires. You're an adult, you know what you need, and you shouldn't be allow financial dependency or independence be the reason for doing anything in this regard.

[KaraChristine]

Hey Jessica,

I agree that therapy and counseling is the best way to go. And you probably know that it's better physically to transition earlier in life - your body will respond better to the transition and you will be perceived more easily as female than if you wait to transition.

Do you live in Seattle? I just moved from Seattle to Vegas, and there is one of the best transgender support networks in the country right there on Capitol Hill in Seattle. The Ingersoll gender center has a trans support meeting every wednesday night at 7pm - there are usually about 30 or 40 REALLY COOL, really well adjusted transgender people who show up every week. They could be an enormous help to you in making decisions and figuring out this stuff. You should definitely go. The location for the meeting is on the website at http://www.ingersollcenter.org/

Good luck and realize that you have lots of people who've been through this to help you out,
Kara :D

[John]

I was 18 too, when I decided I needed to transition. All I can say is that it wasn't a mistke for me, and if you'r sure, then go for it. Some kids transitioning in adalecence, if your personaly ready then your age makes no diference.

[MJ]

the bottom line is when your ready...and if you feel ready now go for it..
if you feel ready..that is

just don't regreat it later thats all. all the best

[Andi]

Jessica, I think if you feel ready, have the proper counseling to lead you, and willing grandparents to help finance you there is no reason to wait. The longer you wait the more male entanglements/responsibilities you pick up and that just makes transitioning more difficult. I did the "man" thing because everyone expected me to be a man and I was too weak to follow my heart. Now at 64 I feel the window of opportunity has closed for me. Don't waste a single day waiting because others are trying to influence you. It's up to you and your counselor help will guide you. Be happy everyday!!:hugs:

[GypsyKaren]

There's no such thing as an official time-line to follow, if it's what you want and you feel ready to do it, then go for it.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Kerrylee61]

Oh how I can relate to the waiting thing... Same goes for me and now at 61 it's way too late. On the other hand, when I was 20 something way back then, I knew more about the whole issue that the shrinks so what does that tell you?

Hugs

Kerry Lee

[Jessicaparkson]

Thanks for all the responses :)

[empressdiver]

If you are sure about transitioning, then the sooner you are on hormones the better. The longer you wait the less you can reverse the male development effects of testosterone. And you are at the age where this will be occurring very fast.

One way to buy more time as an interim measure is to take spironolactone to suppress your body's production of testosterone, without taking estrogen to immediately start breast development and other feminizing changes. This will kind of put your male development on hold while you go through the time-consuming process of therapy and counselling.

[Jennifer in CO]

well, here comes another "shrink"wrapped comment. Go see one. At a minimum get on a t-blocker so that you have a cleaner slate to work with once you make a decision next month or next year. The main thing is to stop that horrible testosterone from making the choice more difficult now!

Jenn

[Scotty]

See a counselor, IMHO - if I were back when I was 21 and wearing my wifes clothing and thought I would transition or KNEW what i was, I certainly would have done the same...

10 years of alone time, help from this and another website and I have myself figured out (Mostly)......

Can't hurt, a counselor will help you from making a mistake, in the event it MIGHT be one....or they'll work with you ahead on your road to transition - in wihch case your age is great...