Wishing to be women, exercise in futility?

[AmandaM]

I have a habit of looking at women, being jealous, etc. and I'm starting to feel like it is an exercise in low self-esteem. I mean seriously, they're hot, cute, sexy, etc. and I'm never gonna be them. It seems like the whole crossdressing thing is sometimes an exercise in futility. Maybe I'm a perfectionist. Anyone go through this?

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Anyone go through this?

Yes.

Instead of comparing yourself to them, compare yourself to yourself. You can say, "Hey, I'm pretty good with this makeup these days." or "I think I accessorized this outfit pretty well." or "I finally got the courage to go out and the world didn't end, woo hoo for me!"

And try self affirmations every day.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Kate Simmons]

I used to Amanda but no longer. I can be a decent looking "gal" whenever I want and that's not a big deal. Actually I admire women for their fortitude and their examples in caring. That's a tough quality to beat and comes from a lifetime of experience and sharing of themselves and giving of themselves for others. When and if I ever get to that point, I will feel I have really accomplished something.:)

[Deborah Jane]

Yes constantly, i know i,ll never look as good as i want and i know i,ll never be the woman i feel i should have been born.
So why do i keep torturing myself by trying to be?

[Sarah...]

:yt:

I'm getting that feeling a lot right now and it's proving difficult to do the self-affirming thing. I'm looking for a local support group that I can meet with - I'm hoping that may help. Was also looking for a suitably experienced therapist but they seem a bit thin on the ground up here. I'll need to do something soon though because I'm finding these feelings such as you describe really difficult to manage. It hurts really.

Sarah...

[avril findlay]

Maybe you should get out more because most women are not "hot cute and sexy"

[Jennifer Cox]

I have a habit of looking at women, being jealous, etc. and I'm starting to feel like it is an exercise in low self-esteem. I mean seriously, they're hot, cute, sexy, etc. and I'm never gonna be them. It seems like the whole crossdressing thing is sometimes an exercise in futility. Maybe I'm a perfectionist. Anyone go through this?

All the time, but I just remind myself that there are lots of GG's that feel exactly the same!

We all just have to make the best of what we've got and learn to enjoy it! :)

[Hali]

Yeah it can be an exercise in futility if u r trying to look 100% passable as a pretty woman and much more (get pregnant and so on), but if u have money and u r willing to under go surgery one can truely become very femme looking and can look cute and pretty and again we shouldnt forget the fact that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder no matter how ugly or masculine u look as a TGirl u will someday find a partner that will like u for who u r. Another fact is that not all women are pretty and attractive and besides life is not only about how one looks but life have so much to offer apart from looks.

[Karren H]

Well i'm not a prefect anything... I just like to look pretty!!! lol

[Shelly Preston]

Its just natural for us all to want something a little better

It may be longer legs, better figure, more femminne facial features

We just learn to do what everyone does make the best of what we have

[jennifer easton]

Lord yes!!! as of lately I've really been depressed, I feel as you do, I'm so damn guy, no amount of makeup will change me, but I still feel the need to be Jennifer, love to watch women, but it also depresses me. Jennifer

[Jonianne]

I am learning to try not to be self critical. One saying I have for myself in my competitive skating is:

I don't compete against anyone else.
I don't even compete against myself.
I compete for myself.

I try to have the same attitude in all other aspects in my life.

[Nicole Erin]

When dressing you still need to try to look your best.

OH hell as CDs there ain't no way we can truely compete with the hottest women out there but if we put an honest effort into our looks then we will be pretty looking. [ummm did that make sense?]

Sometimes it is discouraging yes but try not to worry about it.

ALL women see prettier women and think "Bitch!" :heehee:

[sterling12]

Some of the most insecure women that I have dated have been models, wannabe actresses, and stews. By the World's definition, all of them "cute and hot!" And as a group, they were some of the most insecure people I have ever found.

Inotherwords, not being satisfied with your looks is probably universal. You are not unique and your being very shallow. There are lots of people in this world who are not beautiful and all humans do not worship at their feet.....somehow, they manage to survive and find happiness.

And Sarah, If you want to feel like a woman, you have to do it from within. That's where a true feeling of gender comes from, not from "cute looks," not from adoration. If you can't do it yourself, find that Shrink and do it quickly. You need to work on that Self-acceptance!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[AmandaM]

You might be right. I have a nasty habit of being critical when I look in the mirror. Come to think of it, my desk also has to be arranged perfectly, loose papers drive me nuts. LOL

[docrobbysherry]

Do u think I wear masks because I resemble Charlize Theron underneath them?

I'm just doing what all of us do. Doing the best I can with what I've got! (And faking it when I can!)

Just keep on trying to improve! I think that's the best thing u can do for yourself!:)

[Joy Carter]

Like my wife say's, the cute, pretty and sexy doesn't last. I myself really wouldn't care. I just that I know if I were female, I would at least take care of myself.

[Ruth]

These are very authentically feminine emotions that you're experiencing, Amanda. Most young women spend their time trying to look like models and film stars and being upset and frustrated when they find they can't.
Just be as good as you can be.

[MJ]

me i try to look pretty. it's hard to compare myself to a gg when i am not a gg :hugs:

[charlie]

Hello Amanda!
It is not an exercise in futility. You are no more Cindy Crawford as a girl then you are Brad Pitt as a man. We are who we are. When I dress I am me, dressed as the most perfect woman I can be. When I have to dress up as a man, same thing. Our bodies are the starting point. Some are better looking then others....just like outside on the street. Passing and looking hot may be the ideal, but work with what you have and be happy. Do the best with what you have with outfits, good wigs, good makeup (put on well) and the right clothes. Feminine or masculine...both are just you!

[sometimes_miss]

An exercise in futility? Only if you're trying to be something you're not to someone else, and can't be. I'm not trying to make anyone else, or even myself, see me as a woman. I'm not. I cannot be. I gave up on ever expecting to be a beautiful woman a very long time ago. What I can be, is a man who instead likes to embrace and enjoy all of the female things in life that I can. I dress as one because that's what I feel most comfortable doing; these are the clothes I feel like I should wear, and so, I do. Of course while I'm dressed up, I automatically self identify as female; to put on any stereotypical type of male attire as seems absurd as it would to a young girl just learning how she should present herself. But I suppose that in the back of my mind, I know I'm just a guy in a dress, who for whatever reasons just feels much better embracing all things female, instead of male. I know I want to feel like a girl does, but will never really know what that is, because I don't have the all of the real life girl experiences to go with that. I don't 'fool myself' into believing anyone could see me as a GG; but I cautiously hope to find a woman who can appreciate some of the good female qualities that I do have, and can overlook my desire to want to look like one as much as I can.

[Ronni Seymour]

I also know the feelings. Just today I was admiring several attractive young women, wishing I had just a little of their hips (I'm a normal narrow hipped man:sad:). But I'm also trying to keep my frame of mind in reality and take a good realistic look at myself in the mirror when dressed. Age also is happening and I try to make the most of what I have.

[TGMarla]

When I eventually came to the conclusion that I would never transition, never be a real woman, crossdressing became a lot more fun and much less frustrating. It's more pleasurable now that the longing to actually be a woman was much less. I still have some frustration over the fact that I wasn't born the way I wish I had been, but I've learned to deal with it. Ever since then, the burden has lifted significantly, and life is much more enjoyable.