Loss of sex-drive.

[Nicole Marie]

Would like to know if anybody else is dealing with this. Have finally come to accept my feminine self with therapy. Now I have lost interest in sexual activity, either as a male or female. Any comments? FYI, I am a 40-something MTF CD/TG, married, heterosexual and she does not know.

[Sam44]

My sex drive ebbs and flows (in my first marrage we went for years without sex at one point and AFAIK neither of us missed it...)

FWIW I noticed that after sex (or even masturbation) I have a much lower "need" to wear skirts, etc. or my breast enhancers. So I can't deny that in my case there's some linkage.

My dad's only advice when I announced I was engaged at 17 was "Don't forget your homework." For years I had no idea what he was talking about, but I later learned that my parents had sex nightly till their 25th anniversary when my father asked if they could change it to every other night :)

With this in mind I remember to climb out of my own little world and have a good time with my wife as often as possible even if sometimes at the beginning I'm not necessarily in the mood: But I sure enjoy it anyway after I get started :)

[janet73]

As I have gotten older, my sex drive has decreased significantly. Been married over 30 years, and we probably are down to a couple of times a month. Curious about the hormone factor. If my testosterone levels are decreasing, does that explain the increase in desire to dress in female clothes, but without the previous levels of sexual stimulation?

hmmm....

[StaceyJane]

My sex drive has really faded. I really don't have much of a desire for sex. I only have sex with my wife to please her.

Stacey :)

[Genifer Teal]

Can't get it into gear? Maybe it's a trans problem. I'd also check the driveshaft.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I have never had a huge sex drive. I think part of the reason is due to the fact that while attracted to women, I mainly think about being them as opposed to being with them. I am also very passive sexually. Since I don't make many advances towards women they percieve that as not interested.

A line in a tv sitcom really hit home. 2 guys out at a bar. One is a player, the other never gets the girl. The player say to the other guy - you are like a 24hr convience store, when it come to getting women. You never close. Bad humor aside, I seem to fit the same description. I have no trouble meeting and talking to women. I never turn it into something more. I believe this has less to do with my ability to date women and perhaps more to do with limited sexual interest (in gerneral).

Gen

[TommiTN]

As I have gotten older, my sex drive has decreased. Been married over 30 years, and we probably are down to a couple of times a month. Curious about the hormone factor. If my testosterone levels are decreasing, does that explain the increase in desire to dress in female clothes, but without the previous levels of sexual stimulation?

hmmm....

In a word, yes probably (OK that's two words). As men age our testosterone levels drop off, but our estrogen levels remain fairly constant. Testosterone is the major factor in the level of sex drive be you male or female. Women have less of it naturally so their sex drives are usually lower than a man's of similar age. So it tends to even out. Does that make a man more likely to CD as he gets older? Can't say for sure but there are a lot of older CDers out there.

[Jess_cd32]

Can't get it into gear? Maybe it's a trans problem. I'd also check the driveshaft.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Good one Gen,LOL

Nicole, I'd talk it over w/ your therapist and see what he/she thinks. They may just to be on the safe side run a few blood tests, I lost mine for a short time, turned out it was an endoctrine problem. Problem now solved.

[flacindycd]

Being over 50 now (54) my sex drive has fallen quite a bit, only 14 years ago I was good for sexual fun at least 4 times a week, with or without my wife, now It is more like about twice a month, I find that most of the time I would much rather help my wife orgasm and that alone gives me great pleasure(whether I orgasm or not seems to not really matter to me)

Honestly dressing FEMME gives me more pleasure and longer lasting satisfaction than any orgasm could ever do for me , but I must admit when younger I did have alot of fun!!!!:D

[Annaliese]

I am 55 and the same here have not had sex in over (I had to stop and think when the last time was) I don't know when I last had sex can't remember. Have not miss it, is this what geting old is.

Annaliese

[María José]

I have been in therapy too and after I accepted my feminine self I have also noticed that my sexual desire has decreased. I´m 51 years old and I´m not sure what is the reason, the aceptance of my femenine self or the age ...

[insearchofme]

I'm 59 and have no loss of desire. I do take a suppliment that is not designed for sex drive but for general youthfulness. I'm not sure if that is what is doing it but I workout regularly and I know that helps.

Hugs,

[MJ]

me well I'm 48 not married no sex drive and can't afford to get it fixed

[Deborah Jane]

Sex drive?
Is that a turning off the freeway?

[Karren H]

Married 33 years.... what sex drive? Hell... what's sex.... I can't remember!!

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

But don't have a problem doing it if needed, just need someone to do it with. :battingeyelashes:

[Amy Lynn3]

I'm 62 and have plenty of snow on the roof and have plenty of fire in the furnace too.

[Angie G]

I'm not as big on it as I once was. But then I'm 60 years old now maybe that's it.:hugs:
Angie

[Alice Torn]

A lot like Gen, have had lots of women friends, but, never had a lover, or sex. When younger, felt like my male sex drive was a predatory thing, and many women consider it so, so I was ashamed of my male drive. At 54, the only sex I have had, is solo, and the last several years, has almost vanished. Ginseng helps a little, but, being on meds, has killed it too! I do grieve, the fact, that I never had sex, with a mate, but, twice, i had a chance, but, due to morals, didn't go all the way. One said suppliments. I can't affore viagra. Natural ginseng, health food store elixers might help a little. Dressing totally got me turned on, at first, but the old bloke in me, and lady, the laucher just have a hard time launching the rocket, now.

[Tip or Ozma]

I am sixty-one. When I turned fifty I was found to have prostate cancer. Part of the therapy included hormone treatment (suppression of testosterone that lasted for two years--absolutely no interest in sex). Now, ten years later I feel like a teenager, and with the freedom to wear female clothing and express my female side withing a loving partnership (a wife who is true companion), I am randier than ever. Unfortunately on one hand, my wife is dealing with post-menopause issues that have decreased her ability and desire for intercourse. Fortunately on the other hand, our relationship has grown stronger and emotionally more intimate as we build new pathways for demonstrating physical appreciation for each other. Cross-dressing is part of the mix.

[Samantha43]

My sex drive is still going strong. I've been married for over 20 years and still she turns me on (there is a song to that effect). My sex drive is't what it was when I was 20. I had a perpetual woody back then. :devil: I still enjoy sex very much. It is an improtant part of my life and my relationship with my wonderful wife.

[Tess]

Well, 64 here and still in business in that department. I've had my testosterone checked looking for a cause of osteoporosis and it was normal. I could have told the doctor that without the blood test. I'm certainly not operating like I was at 18 but I'm happy to report that my wife, who is older than I am, and myself still enjoy that part of our relationship on a regular basis. Crossdressing seems to help keep the furnace stoked for me.

[laura.lapinski]

I still want it, and crave it everyday, multiple times a day and I'm 45. Thank god because I enjoy it so much. Hope it lasts.

[joann426]

sex drive still have mine but i the so wood touch me at all i wood have a big woody still love her to death

[michelle2b]

I do not mean to offend anybody through this post - I think the loss of sex drive may be due to factors different from self-acceptance.

I have not lost my sex drive one bit. I am 30 now and I knew since very early childhood, around age 3 or 4, that I was not male inside my head. I reached that acceptance by 16, and the acceptance that I can be attracted to women and still be a woman by 22. I was on hormones for a few months first, but that did not change my sex drive. I stopped hormones to preserve sperm and it was agonizing to not have sex for 3-7 days, which was necessary for sperm banking. Now I am back on hormones and I have not lost my sex drive. The hormones affected sperm motility, but not sex drive.

[Promethea]

I don't think estrogen supresses sex drive. On the contrary, I think it affects sex drive on a similar way than testosterone. Recently, with the accepting of this part of me, my body has started showing signs of producing it's own estrogen (that's discussed on another thread), and less testosterone.
I've always been a very sexual person, but since I started CDing my sex drive has gotten even higher!

[LilSissyStevie]

I haven't lost much of my sex drive over the years (I'm 54) but I didn't start out with a lot. My wife has always had a much greater sex drive than me and she's 8 years younger than me, too. My libido has always been on the low side of normal for a guy and hers is greater than any woman I've ever known. That was a source of friction between us in the beginning because she, quite reasonably, expected me to be the "man" in the relationship. So, after the honeymoon was over and I started having "headaches" she took it personally.

We finally realized that neither of us were well suited to the roles that our culture assigned us. So we switched. She takes the lead in directing our sex life and I do whatever I can to please her whether I feel like it or not. She makes it interesting though.:D She's very aggressive sexually and I'm passive. She likes being in control, I don't. The funny part is that taking the submissive, passive role is a huge turn on for me and my sex drive is greater because of it.

[Kris Vasquez]

I'm 54 and I never have any sexual experiences en femme anymore but have a very good sex life with my wife as my male self.

[Nicole Marie]

Thank you to everyone for all of your wonderful, humorous, genuine and informative comments. I will certainly take it all under advisement and discuss it with my therapist.:o

[glynnis]

I reckon Im pretty lucky my sex drive is pretty high,mind you my wife is 17 years younger than me,Im 66,and that keeps me pretty spry.I find dressing en fem always gets me hot.

[AKAMichelle]

It happens. Years ago I read a book by Napoleon Hill called "Law of Success". I read the book in my early 20's and never understand everything in the book.

The one line that stuck out to me was - A man will never be successful until sex is not the most important thing in their life. In my early 20's I thought he was full of bunk. Now I understand as sex is no longer the most important thing in my life.

[MWCMDarlene]

I haven't lost any sex drive, nor ability, nor deisre. However, the wife and I haven't had any for almost 2 months. She will attribute it to my CDing, because she doesn't like it, but that isn't the case. I have moved out of the bedroom and have been sleeping on the hide-a-bed sofa for the past couple of months. There are some other issues, for one, we had an argument but I have gotten over that since then. Another issue is that I snore enough to cut down every tree in the Sahara Forrest and turn it into a desert. So I'm sleeping there to allow her to sleep at night. For if I'm snoring, she makes me move to the sofa, so, since I'm going to end up there anyway.....

If she were willing, I'd be more than happy to make love to her every day, but she doesn't have the drive or desire half as much as I do. Never did.

[charlie]

As others have said, I'm over 55 so some to the fire has ebbed. However, I also notice that when I dress for 4 days in a row, my drive decreases even more. I think there is a relationship between dressing and sexual activity. To much being and acting fem as opposed to acting like a regular male.

[michelleceedee]

Hi, 66 here and a life long vitamin freak. I still have sex 4-5 times a week. Vitamins, staying in shape and an active imagination + keeping the wardrobe up also help keep other things up! If you are healthy then sex is 90% mental!
I have heard one theory expressed by a CD friends doctor: As men age their testosterone production drops dramatically. His theory was that might explain enhanced interest in ones female side. If you read thru the feedback above an awful lot of you gurls have seen sex vanish. Odd coincidence or?

[Raquelle C]

The one line that stuck out to me was - A man will never be successful until sex is not the most important thing in their life. In my early 20's I thought he was full of bunk. Now I understand as sex is no longer the most important thing in my life.

Wow. I completely understand that statement. Being in my 20's, sex is almost always on my mind and sometimes a difficult distraction. I hope to maintain both a strong a sex drive and a strong focus on being successful. Interesting correlation none-the-less.

[paulaN]

I have always had a high sex drive. I still do at 51. I do need a longer recovery time. I don't seem to have any problem with once a day. Sometimes twice.

[LindaCD63yoNJ]

I am 63 and began to lose drive at 55. But, being dressed helps. I also find bdsm play helps me a lot as well

[FlygrlChristy]

Can't get it into gear? Maybe it's a trans problem. I'd also check the driveshaft.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I have never had a huge sex drive. I think part of the reason is due to the fact that while attracted to women, I mainly think about being them as opposed to being with them. I am also very passive sexually. Since I don't make many advances towards women they percieve that as not interested.

A line in a tv sitcom really hit home. 2 guys out at a bar. One is a player, the other never gets the girl. The player say to the other guy - you are like a 24hr convience store, when it come to getting women. You never close. Bad humor aside, I seem to fit the same description. I have no trouble meeting and talking to women. I never turn it into something more. I believe this has less to do with my ability to date women and perhaps more to do with limited sexual interest (in gerneral).

Gen

That was too funny Gen:roflmao:, as for the rest:iagree:

Christy

[Nadia-Maria]

But, being dressed helps.

I think so.
I have two distinct sex drives with different sensations, undressed to my SO, and dressed solo.
Adding both up, I believe the bottom line is better than if I had only one unique drive.

[Miss Tessa]

I used to like to have sex alot when I was living male.

Now I don't care and usually let it just come to me and let sex be initiated by somebody else.

And I never liked men sexually before living as a woman.

[Joy Carter]

Due to personal reasons we gave up on sex. Not that we don't love each other. But I'd never go out on her as long as we are a couple.

[Bootsiegalore]

I have been uinterested in sex for a while. I do not know why. I am now 45 and a CD and it just does not interest me. My wife is frustrated and jumps me from time to time ..
Tara

[suzy cool]

I'm 98 and blame my lack of sex drive on being a CD.

[sometimes_miss]

I kind of wish it would go away, considering there's no one else to have sex with. I think it's part defense mechanism, the excitement of fantasies and complete focus on orgasm distract me from the real problem, a 'deficiency' in affection. Kind of the same thing that keeps many of us going out for one night stands when we're young, leaving the woman as soon as we're done, then feeling empty in the morning and repeating the same routine. Not getting the affection 'tank' filled always leaves us feeling like we want something, but don't know what it is. Our sex drive makes us horny, so we think it's that; try to satisfy that hunger, once done it often leaves us tired enough to sleep. Then we wake up and the pattern starts all over again.

[heidi99]

It seems a little similar to my former relational situations. I found that carrying around a secret hindered my performance. I came clean in the relationship with my wife, and it helped. Just my opinion.

[karynspanties]

I have the sex drive of a teenager. Now my wife.........that's a differant story.

[Carol Elizabeth]

At the age of 78, my Uncle Joe went to the doctor to see if the doctor could do something to lower my Uncle Joe's sex drive.

The doctor told him,

"Joe, your sex drive is all in your head!"

My Uncle Joe said,

"Yes, I know it's all in my head. That's why I want you to lower it!"

Sorry!

CE:doh:

[docrobbysherry]

While still married, over 10 years ago, we stopped having sex the last 2 years together. For years before that, it had required her to kick start my motor anyway.

After separating, I had lost all interest in sex AND women. Since I was over 50 at the time, I thot it was old age. Maybe with some help from the prostate meds I've been taking for over 10 years.

About 8 years ago, I found that CDing was raising my libido, ( and other things), considerably!

I'm now over 60. Sex is on my mind now more than ever! Either alone with my fantasies, in my morning shower, or as my live fantasy woman, Sherry!

From experience I can tell u, SEX IS ALL IN YOUR MIND!:heehee:

[KarenSusan]

I'm 62 and haven't had sex in about 30 years and don't miss it at all.

[Miss Tessa]

I agree with Myrna.


Estrogen does not suppress sex drive and neither does androgyne/testosterone blockers like Spironolactone.

I am on those for almost two years and what I noticed is no loss in sex drive, but a development of a female sex drive.

To me, the observations I have made about myself and how it has effected me is that I don't seek out or initiate sex often at all. I just let it come to me. Part of this is purely psychological for both TS and women and some CD's because the transformation makes you pretty and attractive and you no longer are the one seeking out sex because so much of it comes straight to you.

I also notice that instead of having a primal male sex drive like wanting to penetrate and thrust a lot, I am more sensual and take lovemaking much slower and savor it.

[Janicejane]

Like many have related my sex drive when younger was like a perpetual motion machine, never more than a thought away. I am a smoker but also quite physically active, even though now classed as 30% disabled. I have I guess many more responsibilities and the stress factor in life is higher. I don't find any difference in sex drive whether dressed enfemme or not. I just find now that it takes an awful lot longer. My staying power was always very good, now it takes forever and my wife has sometimes had to stop me because of dryness. I believe we are still very much in love and this helps to keep the sex thing at bay as she knows it can take so long. I'm now nearly 50 and have no idea how much longer I have left on this planet so I'll certainly aim to enjoy my life that I have and whether sex features in it or not I'll be happy.

Janice
xxx

[Bev06 GG]

In a word, yes probably (OK that's two words). As men age our testosterone levels drop off, but our estrogen levels remain fairly constant. Testosterone is the major factor in the level of sex drive be you male or female. Women have less of it naturally so their sex drives are usually lower than a man's of similar age. So it tends to even out. Does that make a man more likely to CD as he gets older? Can't say for sure but there are a lot of older CDers out there.
Hi Tammi,
I have always been led to believe that womens sex drive improves with age and a mans fades. That is what all the text books tell you any how. I have to admit when I was alot younger I was very tired having looked after four young children all day sex was the last thing I had on my mind. Bed was for sleep.
Now I'm older, the kids are less dependent and hey ho its worked for me. My partner on the other hand sometimes needs a bit more encouragement, proving to me that men do tend to mellow with age.
Bev

[josiegirlcd]

I feel the drive to have sex is still there but would like to be dressed when it happens. Sadly the wife doesn't participate. After 10 years I am just wanting a change.

[Trinni]

Definitely check yourself out physically but also even without going the dressing route with her, maybe explore other new sexual things. It might just be what you need to bring it back.

[Tommie Rae]

My sex drive took a nosedive about 6 years ago and my wife and I did not want a sexless marriage so I talked to my doctor about it. She ran some tests and found my testosterone levels were fairly low. So now I use a prescription testosterone gel and that does the job nicely. The other thing that really helped was taking a chance and dealing with my crossdressing. I knew my wife would not be happy hearing that it was not going away but once we both admitted that this was just a part of who I am then keeping secrets wasn't being such a drain on my psychological/sexual self. Talk to your doctor and talk to your wife.

[Marjory]

Welcome to your forties!! Do you take any blood pressure medication? If so talk to your doctor. They also have pills for that problem now so it's really a non problem.

[susanmichelle]

My sex drive is gone all the way, dont think it has anything to do with age or crossdressing for me though. I think mine is all the drugs Im on and have been on now for years. Started for me with blood pressure pills and lately for the last 8 months i have been on lortabs, muscle relaxants, anti seisure pills and now 200 mg of morphine a day for my bad back. So guess I cant really relate to anything to do with dressing as before i had a great sex drive and never had any problems. i even tried the viagra and other type pills and all i got from them was a headache. Bummer

[ErikaLadyoftheDesert]

I am too much in feminine mode that I really don't fancy sex with another woman. When as Erika I "dream" of being romanced by a sexy man that will treat me like the lady I know I am inside. Of course this just remains a dream. :daydreaming:

I will occasionally "put out for the wife," and "go through the motions," but neither of us is satisfied with it. :doh:

I am fascinated about the theory I read above that as we age our testosterone decreases while our estrogen stays the same. Increasing the desire possibly to CD, while decreasing the male sex drive. That answers a lot of questions for me.:eek:

[Susantgrl]

Can't get it into gear? Maybe it's a trans problem. I'd also check the driveshaft.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

I have never had a huge sex drive. I think part of the reason is due to the fact that while attracted to women, I mainly think about being them as opposed to being with them. I am also very passive sexually. Since I don't make many advances towards women they percieve that as not interested.

A line in a tv sitcom really hit home. 2 guys out at a bar. One is a player, the other never gets the girl. The player say to the other guy - you are like a 24hr convience store, when it come to getting women. You never close. Bad humor aside, I seem to fit the same description. I have no trouble meeting and talking to women. I never turn it into something more. I believe this has less to do with my ability to date women and perhaps more to do with limited sexual interest (in gerneral).

Gen

I am the same way Genifer. Never really had a strong sex drive. Have no problem with flirting and talking with the women but never able to close. Cannot say if it is from a low sex drive or not though.