I can't explain to people WHY I love to Crossdress and be treated like a woman?

[Christina Horton]

I have told My whole fam, And friends. I only well 2 people who have a problem with is my mom, she realy HATES it , and my dad , Whom does not like it BUT he is trying to change the way he thinks about it. When people ask me why do you do it , the only thing I can realy say about it is that, I just love to so much. So can you girl give me some ways to explain it to them when they ask . Thanks Ladys. HUGGS. :hugs::canada:

[Nicole Erin]

This is a tough one.
I guess basically tell them you are a real strong feminine side.
Or that you like pretty things.

I mean come on, none of us really know why we enjoy it.
Just another preference I suppose...

Think of this - can you explain why you enjoy anything that not everyone does? Like types of music or foods or television shows?

Right before we got off our chat I was saying I am a bit of a language nerd. I often get asked why I chose to study French and yet I have no idea...

hobbies and preferences cannot be easily explained...

Anyways yeah for lack of better response just tell them about the femme side3...

[joann426]

that is a good question but just tell them why do they like vanilla and you like cholate and every one like different things others also tv some like hunting and we justlike fem clothes and whao!!!!! and enjoy it while we can:hugs:

[Karren H]

Beats me.... I'm driven to crossdress.... and I can't explain it either...

[MJ]

why don't you post that in a form of a question like .. why do you cross dress or why do you like to cross dress ? that might help

[StaceyJane]

I wish I could explain it to myself.

Stacey :)

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve no idea why i crossdress, but i do know i enjoy it :)

[Jonianne]

I would say, "Even though I am male, I also very much identify with females in so many aspects of my life and enjoy wearing their cloths and presenting as female sometimes."

[Angie G]

I don't know myself but I truly do love it.:hugs:
Angie

[SusanMarie]

Can't explain it well enough for most people to understand. Sometimes, when someone will listen, I ask this question of the other person...

Are you left handed or right handed?

They answer.

Then I ask...Why?

They don't know why, they just know they are.

Usually the discussion ends there.

:D

[DeniseNJ]

I thinkwe have female brains and think like a girl... I truely believe that

[sterling12]

Surprise! You don't have to have a reason, not even for Mom and Dad. When it's Family asking that question, it's often because they are trying to assure themselves that they are not responsible. I know that sounds selfish, but imagine the shoe on the other foot.

I would answer that question with a question, "For what reason do you sleep eight hours a day?" Or, "Why do you breath and eat food?" Chock it up to life's many mysteries. You are just the way you are. Maybe there's a better question to ask them: "If I can accept myself as I am, without figuring out the reasons, can't you do the same?"

Peace and Love, Joanie

[avril findlay]

I've thought about this for years and my only conclusion is there is no answer as to why I (or you) crossdress you just do!
It's perfectly natural for some males to like dressing as females, it exists everywhere. If there are people on other planets then there's a little green man somewhere sitting wearing a dress and carefully applying his makeup! Just accept what you are and enjoy it.

[docrobbysherry]

How can anyone explain what they don't understand? I certainly don't understand, and have difficulty explaining CDing, too!:eek:

[sissystephanie]

One reason might be that we are males, and males like bright plumage!! Look at peacocks, for example!

On a more serious note, I dress because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothes far better then I do male clothing. I have no real desire to be a woman, although I don't mind being treated as one at times. But under my feminine finery I am still a man, and that is the way I like it. I have been asked many times why I dress, and I always answer exactly as I did in the first sentance of this paragraph. Nobody has ever has had a problem understanding that answer.

Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

[trannie T]

There have been many threads with the same question and all have reached the same conclusion, nobody knows. If you have a need to explain why you dress give an honest answer, "I honestly do not know why, it is just the way I am wired."

[Daphne Renee]

I know what your saying I really cant explain it either.

[Sally2005]

No insight here. The only idea I have is to ask the other person why 'they' think you do it? You probably won't get the correct answer, but maybe an opportunity to correct a misconception they might have about you.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Its what I have discovered about the whole package deal when it comes to ME. I like all the aspects of who I am, and make no bones with anyone close to me about how I feel. All we can do is put out the best positive image for others and make it count.

I do it for several reasons and for reasons I cannot truly put down on paper.

In a nutshell, I love being.

Zara

[Christina Horton]

Think of this - can you explain why you enjoy anything that not everyone does? Like types of music or foods or television shows?

...

That is easy to explain, I LIKE music cuz it makes me feel good and I love to sing along. The food tastes good. And the televison takes me into a world I could not go in my life. Good points I think I know what you mean.


Can't explain it well enough for most people to understand. Sometimes, when someone will listen, I ask this question of the other person...

Are you left handed or right handed?

They answer.

Then I ask...Why?

They don't know why, they just know they are.

Usually the discussion ends there.

:D

I like that one sound good and they can't tell you why, I will use that Thanks HUN


I thinkwe have female brains and think like a girl... I truely believe that

I am not sure I beleve that. Why, well I think we all male female of all types Have a female and male side in our brains and we CDers for years did not let our the FEM side out. We crushed it into a small ball in our heads. Lets say most men have 80% male ,20 % female. WE may have 60% male or In my case I may have 40% male 60 % female that Is now trying to get out. But that still does not really explain why we have the need to. Or why we get a rush when someone calls un she , her mam lady mis e.t.c. But thanks It very well could be true. I never have a closed mind about anything. I like the thought of a Fem brain. Neeto.



No insight here. The only idea I have is to ask the other person why 'they' think you do it? You probably won't get the correct answer, but maybe an opportunity to correct a misconception they might have about you.

Very good one I will have to try that.


Its what I have discovered about the whole package deal when it comes to ME. I like all the aspects of who I am, and make no bones with anyone close to me about how I feel. All we can do is put out the best positive image for others and make it count.

I do it for several reasons and for reasons I cannot truly put down on paper.

In a nutshell, I love being.

Zara

Yes that sumes it up and I think that way. I just wish I could give my mom the explaintion she need to be ok with it.


I would love it if she would come on the site meet you girls and then maybe she might gain some insight on the whole CDing thing we do. Thanks for all your insights keep them coming PLZ HUGGS to all :hugs::canada:

[Rachel_DBN]

I pretty much feel the same as sissystephanie does: I feel like a man, but love to dress as a woman. That brought up a lot of questions to myself, like: Does this mean I'm gay? No, I'm sure I'm not! To me the idea of having sex with another male is just inacceptable! On the other hand, I'm sometimes thinking of what it might be like with a *******... :o

Or: Would I like to continue living my life as a woman, meaning having breast implants and other surgeries? I'm honestly not sure, and I REALLY regret that there's absolutely NO WAY in JUST TRYIN' that part. :battingeyelashes: Anyway, what I'm saying is that even while we are CDs all-together, we're still different in our behaviours, longings, feelings, needs,...

So if you ever find an answer to that question, it'll definitely be YOUR answer. Elsewise (and that's more likely to happen) I found SusanMarie's answer quite good, and I also think that it's good to find out what the questioner is REALLY up to know, and then find the answer TO THAT.

Most of the times these questions really might just come out of some fears and concerns, but most definitely they come out of ignorance and insecurity. I'd suggest that you find YOUR way of explaining your feelings (NOT: answering the question "why?", since there's no answer to this question), hoping that your loved ones will be fine with it, and thus be fine with YOU in ANY aspect!

All the best,

W.

[Jess_cd32]

If I ever got asked its real simple for me, I was born this way.

[Lisa Golightly]

I used to just say 'It just is.'

[Jonianne]

When I am fully enfemme, I feel "at home".

[Alayna]

Lets say most men have 80% male ,20 % female. WE may have 60% male or In my case I may have 40% male 60 % female that Is now trying to get out. But that still does not really explain why we have the need to. Or why we get a rush when someone calls un she , her mam lady mis e.t.c. But thanks It very well could be true.


Christina, I think you're on the right path :^5:

While I don't have the answers, I feel pretty confident in why I personally crossdress. Think of it like the political spectrum. We all lean left or right to some degree, with many historical crazies at the extremes. It's the same way with sexuality - everybody has homo and heterosexual tendencies, with a few homo and heterophobics sprinkled in. I feel as if we all have separate but coexisting spectrums of political, sexual, and gender-identity slants (among countless others) that make up each facet of our personality.

Another important factor is that I am the sum of my parts. One small piece of the larger whole of me that is a crossdresser - why it's more important to have femme fingernails than toenails - can be answered by taking the sum of smaller pieces of me. My fingernails are prettier, they're easier to work on, they're healthier, etc... Each one of these pieces can be broken down in yet further ways, such as why these things are important to me and how much weight in my personality does each carry? My personality can be broken down to so many levels that the "answers" to a single question quickly become exponential in number, rendering it meaningless to try and find one single, satisfying response that explains my behavior

I find it more useful and satisfying to see that I am the sum of my parts. Rather than trying to explain why I do one thing or another, I realize that we all have a unique experience in life and that all attempts to explain ourselves to others, regardless of topic, are at some level comparing apples to oranges. We crave experience, whether our own or in others' stories, which is the flavor of life. While we can sympathize and relate to each others' experiences and strive to understand them, we all have our own slants and imprint memories in our brains differently, and must realize that vicarious experience is only partially fulfilling compared to the real thing.

It may not be a satisfying answer to those who question you, but you don't crossdress for them. Sorry if that was overly-philosophical, but I'm going through such a phase in my life at the moment :D

[carolinewalker_2000]

I don't think any of us really know why we dress; that is one of the problems with coming out of the closet. How do you explain to people who are genuinely interested in knowing what it is that drives you?

[trisha59]

Not to state the obvious but I think that one reason we cannot come up a ready response to these questions is that we all do it for our own reasons. I haven't figured it out yet but for starters I really love women and everything about them, always have. So I think it's a way for me to feel closer to something I really love and perhaps being dressed I can begin to understand them more intimately

[suzypier]

I can't explain, I need more and more and I LOVE IT :)

[Ruth]

These threads come round a lot. We all hope there is a nice, neat, understandable answer that we can give to people in about 30 words, but nothing has come along yet.
I found out through therapy why I CD, it's quite a long and involved explanation, and it only definitely applies to me so I won't bore you. But I am afraid it's like that: CDing is just plain difficult.

[charlie]

Ah, the big question! Why do we go through all of this. I cross dress because I feel that when I dress the other part of me is there in the mirror. I get to wear pretty things, cross my legs daintily, wear high heels and look and feel pretty. I pick my favorite outfits and try to look my best. I don't dress for sexual reasons (although I used to). Now I dress just for me. I get to be my feminine self for awhile. Dressed or not I'm not playing a part...both are still me. The feminine me that I love to go out as just is not as acceptable to the general society.

[sometimes_miss]

When the few people that know about me ask, my first question back to them is, do you really want to know? Because it's quite a complicated thing. The best short response I came up with, is this one. "I just feel normal in female attire. Think, if you will, of going to a formal function in a bathing suit; you would be in perfectly acceptable attire for your physical sex, but would feel uncomfortable never the less, because you feel like you should be wearing something different. That's the way I feel in men's clothing all the time; that I'm always in the wrong outfit. The feeling goes away when I dress as a female". If they press me for more, I give them the entire theory, which mostly on my post in the introductions section.

[Maria2222]

How can you explain something that's inborn in you? My favorite color is blue. There's no way to explain why it is, it just is. Being a CD is the same. It's just a part of me, just like it's a part of you. There is no explanation.

[Veronica27]

As all the responses to this thread show, there are a multitude of different answers to this question depending upon who is asked. Many simply like to say "I was born this way" or "It's just who I am" and so on. These replies are like a parent who says you cannot do something "because". They do not provide any real answer, but tell us that that person isn't overly concerned with the reason or has quit trying to find one, and just wants to get on with life and enjoy what they are doing. Others try to explain it by comparing it to other likes and dislikes such as food, music, sports etc. or to physical characteristics like eye colour or left or right handedness or they say "It just feels natural or right". These replies indicate that the exact reasons are unknown to that person, but that they have given some thought to them and have been unable to draw any other conclusions. They are often still searching for reasons, but have usually resigned themselves to never actually knowing.

Then there is the more scholarly scientific approach where the individual has done a great deal of reading on the subject, and has discovered such theories as pre-natal hormonal washes, or disruptions in the timing of hormonal releases during gestation that have led to the development of a more female type brain structure in an otherwise male child. These remain theories, however, and even if true sometimes, they do not necessarily explain all cases of crossdressing behaviour, and the differences in approach to it, extent of involvement in it and level of satisfaction derived from it.

Finally, there are those who have spent a great deal of time on introspection, and tried to formulate their own theories as to why they crossdress. They may never find one, and if they do, it will probably run counter to many of the other theories they read about. However, they continue their search for a number of reasons. They may be uncomfortable doing something that is considered taboo, and therefore need a reason to justify their compulsion. The fear of losing friends and loved ones necessitates having an explanation handy if found out.

I probably fall into this last category, as I cannot stop trying to understand and explore my reasons any more than I can stop having the desire to crossdress. My conclusions, so far, are that I find that crossdressing is very relaxing and comforting. Why this is so has been the big mystery given the fact that much of what I choose to wear is not physically comfortable and most women can hardly wait to get home and take such things off. I have always been a bit of a free spirit, am adventure loving and have also had a fairly artistic flair. My sense of curiosity is quite high, and I love to observe and explore the world around me. While I love being male and expressing my masculinity through many pursuits such as my hobbies and sports, I have always felt a degree of pressure to always conform to an image of manhood that is imposed upon us but does not always match our personality. Given this combinations of qualities, my growing admiration and appreciation of girls during adolescence, combined with my observations of the very different sort of world they live in with all of its eccentricities that are off limits to every male, my sense of curiosity led me to try to explore one or two of the more unique aspects of this "feminine world". One thing led to another, and soon I was fantasizing about crossdressing completely, not because of any desire to be female, but because it provided such a refreshing escape from the rigors of always being "male". It was an exciting adventure and there was always something new to think about and experience. However, it created a need in my mind to understand because my upbringing led me to believe I was "doing something I shouldn't".

Veronica

[Carly D.]

In general.. I can't explain it either.. everytime I think I could, it escapes me.. I generally hate to dress up, in my male dress up mode.. you know like for weddings and that lot... but for me, dressing in womens clothes isn't dressing up in the same way as for my male side, and yet there is more to it.. or less to it.. depending on your take.. I like to wear womens shoes almost everyday and pantyhose when I get the chance, weather under my pants or whatever.. it's a hassle.. a pure pain in the ass to primp and make myself look.... never mind..

[Hali]

If any one asks you why you crossdress just ask them why they dress the way they did at that moment, if they answer you then answer them with the same answer they've given you.

[Chrissy8888]

This is interesting as I sit here and ask myself “why do I dress”. I can tell you the same short answer is “it’s part of who I am”. Do I think I have a part female brain or I think like a female? Well maybe. I do have many lady friends and we do have many conversations that are much deeper than I have with my guy friends. Some of my lady friends tell me that I am such a good listener. One of them even stated (I wouldn’t say asked) you are a cross dresser. This without me ever giving any indication of such. Yes I was honest with her. I have never dressed around her and don’t know if I would. In simple terms I think my answer to this would have to be it’s rather complicated. I am not sure I could give the answer. I have just accepted it is part of who I am, part of the complete package. Well I ever know? Do I really want to know? Or is it just easier for me to embrace and accept? I think it’s just best left untouched so I don’t make life harder than it already is.