im scared

[craig]

hi girls im in a right pickle .
i discovered that im a closet cd about 3 years ago but only in my wifes clothes mainly her shoes (god that feels good to say out loud) well last year i told her and she went mad and was not happy well i have hidden most of my feeling from her now but its eating me up in side i dont know what to do i want to tell har but i think im gonna lose her :sad:any ideas of how i could make things easyer ???? also this site is an insperation i love it !!!

[prene]

Good Luck.
You are not alone.
Things will always work out.
This is a great place for support.
God Luck. . . I know this is tough.

[avril findlay]

I think it''s a "We've got to have a talk" and you lay it right out
and see what happens!

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Talking it out is probably the best option you have.

Zara

[Rachel Welsley]

:iagree: and be sure to point out that you haven't changed, you're still the same person she fell in love with. This is simply another facet of you that for your personal well being needs to be expressed. this is not a disease, not a mental disorder or condition that can be "cured" you just happen to have a strong feminine side that needs to see daylight every now and then.

hope this helps & everything works out for the best :D

[craig]

wow u r all great but im not sure that the talk will work and if i do talk im gonna be single but reading different stories on this site its helping me see that if she cant be understanding then maybe theres som1 else out there waiting for me :) again it good to finaly have som1 to talk to about my true feelings thanks so much
XXxxXXxxXX

[sometimes_miss]

One thing my therapist suggested that I never got to try out, was to come up with something positive about this for her. If you've ever dreamed about wearing a pretty maid's outfit, you can offer to regularly do the domestic chores if she'll help you dress that way. I'm alone now, but my house used to be a mess. Now, once a week I become the maid, and my house is spotless. I actually enjoy doing all those little chores when I'm dressed the part, and can feel just a little bit like a girl when I'm doing it. And I'm a little happier because of it. If you haven't already, you can explore shopping for clothes and shoes with her (FOR HER, if she enjoys it. Don't make it so much about you. If she can see some advantages in you liking to dress up, she's more likely to tolerate it, and maybe even like it. Good luck.

[Sheila]

The loved ones section would is a good place to start looking for some answers hun

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=66

and this thread in there is good

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=90231

and a word of advice from a GG .... leave her things alone nothing good will come of it if she finds you have been using her stuff especially after her intial reaction

[Angie G]

Talk to her. By all means let her know you love her.See if you can get her to this forum so she can talk to other GG's and maybe understand your needs better hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Jonianne]

First as others have mentioned, you need to get your own cloths. Her cloths are off limits. Her boundry. Let her know that you are still the same person and that you love her. If you have read on this site for any length of time you know you are not alone and that there are many here who fully understand and care.

[Sonia Greene]

Explain to her that your relationship is not threatened. (Her biggest worry maybe...)
You love her, if you sincerely do. And you should show it-- by your life with her.

Then two situations potentially. She will put up with your dressing--as long as she never sees you dressed. Or she will want you to stop.
I think most--if not all dressers, do not believe it is possible to stop, once you start. Even if intermittently, you will probably continue.

I hope that's some use. Go carefully......
Sonia

[Vicky_Scot]

Good Luck.
You are not alone.
Things will always work out.
This is a great place for support.
God Luck. . . I know this is tough.


No offence but I think this is a rather sweeping statement and not really the case.

Xx Vicky xX

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Craig

You might like to read the link in my signature on telling your partner

It has a lot of good advice

[MJ]

the best you can do is tell her how you truly feel. if she loves you then she will find a way to make this work.

[Sandra]

You've been given some good advise, mostly a long the lines of talking to her. I would also let her know that she is not alone, that there is plenty of women in a happy relationship with a man that cds.

Show her this site and some of the response from the GGs here, Oh and one other thing do get your own clothes.

[Bridged]

Hi Craig,
I'd say, give her another chance before you start looking elsewhere! I freaked out when I first found out about my husband as well, but over time and with helpful information, I was able to become an accepting wife. Make sure you give her time and space, let her know about this site and other resources that she can read on her own time. She just may come around, but it's not going to happen if you keep it to yourself, and it's not going to help your marriage, carrying this around on you shoulders all the time. You may not even realize that the secret is affecting you, but no doubt, it is. Good luck

[Alison010274]

I agree Craig, It has to be a pretty big shocker for a wife to hear.
There are a million questions that imidiately come to mind and none can good.
I finally dropped the bomb on my wife about 7 yrs ago. At first she was completely removed, but after a lot of talking and providing her with research and a couple of books to read she began to understand. Today she is understanding supportive (and lets me borrow her cloths when ever I want!)

Good luck

Alison

[immike]

I agree Craig, It has to be a pretty big shocker for a wife to hear.
There are a million questions that imidiately come to mind and none can good.
I finally dropped the bomb on my wife about 7 yrs ago. At first she was completely removed, but after a lot of talking and providing her with research and a couple of books to read she began to understand. Today she is understanding supportive (and lets me borrow her cloths when ever I want!)

Good luck

Alison
So your wife now allows you to wear her clothes,after she read about CD's? Your
very lucky? I have to carefully raid mothers closet,just to wear her good mini skirts&
tops,heels.Sometimes I even dress in her good pantssuits and skirtsuits,as well,but I
order undies and pantyhose out of her womans catalogs

[Ruth]

Frankly, immike, your remark is not much help at this point. If craig wants an honest relationship with the wife that includes CDing, then borrowing her clothes in secret is out of the question.
craig, you should probably go slow with buying your stuff at present, but make it clear that it will be your own wardrobe in future. Who knows, she might enjoy buying things with you.

[kim85]

Just be honest with her answer any questions she may have and let her come to terms with it. Also showing her this site and that other GG's have been able to enjoy this side of their partner may help her.
:hugs:

[mainer]

At this point, I am brand new. I love my wife and love our relationship, would love to be able to be honest with her, but the thought of telling her terrifies me and, at least at this point, I don't believe our relationship would survive it.

[docrobbysherry]

Marriages always go through rough stretches, and easy times, too!

U must communicate how u feel to your SO's. Then, they'll understand, at least. Accepting is something else!

U must listen to them, too. Then, U will understand their worries and fears.

No one said marraige was easy!:doh:

[Sam-antha]

She knows that you have dressed, that is a fact that is unchangeable. Does she not suspect that you have not changed ? I imagine it is at theback of her mind, somewhere. Therefore I would say talk. First thing though make yourself very certain sure of your future intentions as regards dressing and consider also a compromise by both of yo, rather than just hiding.

[FlygrlChristy]

Craig,

You've gotten a lot of good advice from the girls on this forum, and this is one heck of a place for a lot of support, for both you and your wife. I'll just add my two cents, please talk to her, honestly, tears are good, but at the same time try not to overwhelm her with how you feel, this will take time for her to learn to accept that this is a part of you that has been hidden from her. That trust has been broken, and it will take some time to repair it, it can be done. Be gentle, and good luck, I've been there myself, so if you need to talk pm, me.:hugs:

Christy

[Raquel June]

well last year i told her and she went mad and was not happy

...

i dont know what to do i want to tell har but i think im gonna lose her

You already told her but now you're trying to decide if you should tell her? What are you trying to say?

[MJ]

You already told her but now you're trying to decide if you should tell her? What are you trying to say?

maybe Craig did not tell the whole truth.

[Raquel June]

maybe Craig did not tell the whole truth.

Well if that's the case, telling her his a horrible idea.

He already told her he likes to wear her shoes and she got really mad. Now he wants to tell her more? Obviously that'll make her even madder.

If you want to end the relationship, go ahead and tell her everything. If you want to maintain the relationship, either hide it or at least start off by discussing why she got mad the first time you brought it up.

[charlie]

Hello Craig!
One of the statistics on the chart shown in Kelly's post above was that 88% of the cd's get divorces when they tell their wife after being married. Jump in here GG's if I'm wrong, but wives want their he-man husbands to be the men in their lives when they marry them. Most wives aren't thinking they are getting a girlfriend as well! Using your wife's clothes really must stop. Go to the Goodwill, the Fashion Bug or the internet and get your own clothes and shoes. My wife is not supportive of my CDing nor does she want to hear or see it. So she doesn't. I mainly dress when on business trips each month. She knows, but does not know. You probably have to go that direction. If you don't leave town at all by yourself, then perhaps you can set aside nights when you can go out alone and have time to yourself with your wife's blessing. You at least need some sort of frame work where you can work your feminine self in that is acceptable to both of you.

[DonnaT]

hi girls im in a right pickle .
i discovered that im a closet cd about 3 years ago but only in my wifes clothes mainly her shoes (god that feels good to say out loud) well last year i told her and she went mad and was not happy well i have hidden most of my feeling from her now but its eating me up in side i dont know what to do i want to tell har but i think im gonna lose her :sad:any ideas of how i could make things easyer ???? also this site is an insperation i love it !!!

Since the time you told her and she got mad, has she mentioned it or brought it up again?

Was she mad because they were her clothes or was she mad because of your dressing?

Telling one's SO is a personal choice.

Sometimes it works out OK, other times it works out in separation.

Don't get so euphoric about this site that you make what could be the wrong decision.