Please buy your own clothing.

[KandisTX]

Sorry sisters, but I feel I have to post this, I am seeing too many posts from new or relatively new members who are supposed to be adults and they are still STEALING clothing from their mothers or sisters or neighbors, or even their significant others.

This is one of the key reasons that many GG's get upset when we finally come out to them and they find out that we have been wearing their clothing. That is truly the worst invasion of their privacy we could possibly commit. That coupled with the fact that we are keeping a secret from them that is so paramount to who we are as a person just adds fuel to the proverbial fire against them supporting us.

Yes, many of us, if not all, started out borrowing (stealing), clothing from our sisters, or mother when we were young, but once we were able to do so, we purchased our own clothing. I personally have my wifes permission to wear anything of hers that I want as long as she does not plan on wearing it, and visa-versa. We communicate (That is KEY in having a good CD/GG relationship) with each other and know what's on the others mind.

So, Please my young sister CD's, buy your own clothing and make-up to wear. Leave their things alone.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[DeborahAnne]

Not married so never had to I have always had to buy my own clothes. It is so much easier these days to with EBay and all the catalogues on line When I started dressing I had to go to local stores plus of course it does feel so much more personal and I definately wouldn't like to think someone else was wearing my clothes especially underwear

[Sandra Dunn]

I agree Sis. Get your own clothes, although we do share a lot of tops. Besides, it's fun to go shopping. Ah the shoes, more to get.
HUGS Sandra

[Deborah Jane]

I agree Kandis, also by buying your own clothes you can select the styles you like and prefer to wear :)
Also shopping is much more fun when you,re buying fem things for yourself.

[Karren H]

Ya know monday I would have said.. Yeah!! But today with the new regime coming to power I'm rethinking everything.. Clothes borrowing may make perfect sence from a couple angles.. Let me elaborate. :D

1.. If you just lost your savings in the market you can't afford to buy your own clothes.. So Clothes borrowing make perfect economic sence in tough times.. Right?

2. Its environmentally friendly.. follow me here.. Buy not buying those pretty synthetic clothes you reduce the amount of oil needed and the amount of electricity too.. Reducing the amount of greenhouse gases emmited into the atmosphere!! Yeah!! Crossdressing is now Green!!

3) Less oil consumed drives down the prices per barrel.. (Hopefully Obamanomics still recognizes supply and demand).. Hence gasoline prices will drop further!!

I think I almost convinced myself to purge and go back to borrowing my wifes things!! Hahahahaha

[DAWNB]

I believe that you will run into a wall real hard wearing clothes that belong to family or SO's. I wore an outfit that belonged to wife and though she didn't get real upset I was told not to touch her things. So I have several different skirts, tops, etc. that I have bought myself. I look for deals at various stores and have done real well. So go to Target, Wal Mart, etc. and live it up.

[Janet Bern]

Most people feel violated when you wear their clothes and even if they dont say anything they know they have been worn buy another person. You will feel better if you buy your own things and stop using other peoples clothes.
Janet

[luvSophia]

We have the opposite problem at my house. The wife likes to wear my guy clothes. She's not trying to crossdress the other way, she just doesn't have typical female hips and finds that guys jeans fit her better. And she likes wearing my dress shirts as a blouse.

[pamela_a]

I agree with not borrowing others clothes unless you have their permission to do so. I know on a number of occasions my wife has worn some of my things but I always know about it ahead of time. I do the same thing, if she has something I'd like to wear I ask first. A little courtesy goes a long way.

-Paula-

[Alice Torn]

Sofia, Wow! Thats something I've never heard, before!

[Deanna2]

I wear only my own clothes which is why I often reject the notion of I crossdress. On the other hand, when my wife is short of something to wear she'll be in my part of the wardrobe quick as a flash.

[suzypier]

At the beginning I was wearing my GF clothes and many members in here suggested to me to buy my own and they were right, it’s much more fun to buy and have your own clothes.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

Most Cd's who first got dressed did not run off to wal mart to buy a whole new wardrobe, we got the start from wearing clothes from some woman who we live with in the house....I did.... we did not want any one to know what we were doing behind close door and we just had a curiosity.

As time pass we started to feel more comfortable about our dressing and start buying or own cloths and yes it is true that GG will get upset about us wearing some of there clothing, but I do not feel at any time that we were STEALING CLOTHING and now that I have my own clothing she dose wear some of my clothing.........and she dose not ask.. is she STEALING CLOTHING.


LA CINDY LOVE

[Violet]

Just make sure if you borrow your SO's bra that you have the same band size. Because my SO borrowed my bra, I am a 32 and he is... not. And it stretched. And I was annoyed, because it was my good bra.

We got him his own, though, and all is good.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Or... an alternative is to learn to make your own like I did ;) Yeah, not so easy when it comes to the underthings, but thats what Big Lots and places like that are for.

Zara

[PrettyFlowingGown]

Very good post. I agree totally. I must admit, I did it up till I was a teenager, 17/18, but after that it was go, go, go. ...And of late I'm going in leaps 'n' bounds. I've been buying my own clothes since 20, now I'm 36. I've never been so confident either.

[mykhelee]

As I am a bit burly, 45" chest with matching arms I have never had an SO who I could borrow from. My last one was 32D-24-33. If you can't get it over your thighs...:doh:

I have always been a thrift store and clearance rack buyer, except for the shoes. First I find shoes I have to have, then of course I have to get an outfit to go with the shoes.:o

[CD_DIANE]

Just one comment.....

Thrift stores !

They have an amazing array of clothes, and the prices are great.
I've picked up skirts for $ 1.50 - 2.00


Diane

[sometimes_miss]

Kandis, when a woman finds out her guy is wearing woman's clothing, there's a whole lot more going on beyond the fact that those clothes are hers. Most women are willing to share pretty much everything of theirs with their man, clothes notwithstanding. The very idea that borrowing her bra would make her feel 'violated', well, I think that's a load of crap. Women share their clothing with other women at the drop of a hat. Their dresses, their shoes, their bathing suits, even panties if for some reason a girlfriend's clothes get ruined and she has no alternative, a woman will gladly donate, even give her clothes away if she knows another really desparately needs them. Further, women have absolutely no qualms about borrowing our clothes without asking whenever they see fit. Men's shirts have always been fair game whenever women visit our apartments. They don't ask, they just take. I wear nice cotton long sleeve shirts, and have lost a few over the years that the girls have decided to 'appropriate' for themselves. I lost two XXL sized Knick's sweatshirts to women who also liked the team; did they ask, no; they just came back after a commercial wearing them, saying how nice and warm and comfy they were. And we all know how hard it is to turn down anything to a woman who we know is going to continue make us deliriously happy in the bedroom. I would occasionally find my jackets in the closet with the sleeves all rolled up, knowing that she had been using MY coat rather than get hers dirty when raking up the yard or doing something else that might soil 'her' clothes (and that's no excuse either, she had older stuff she used for other chores). I presented this argument to our therapist when she told me basically the same thing that you did, as to why my ex-wife was so upset. She couldn't argue with me, everything I said was true. It's not about the borrowing of her clothes (unless you are stretching them all out of shape, and it's something special of hers, like her wedding gown), because most of the stuff we'd 'borrow' isn't real expensive (bras and panties are staple items in most women's wardrobes, every girl I've ever known had at least a month's worth). It IS the fact that we're wearing 'girl clothes' that freaks them out; It is a shock; one that is so incomprehensible to her that she will immediately start coming up with all sorts of other reasons why she's angry (you took the pair she wanted to wear tomorrow, you stretched those .99 cent panties all out of shape and she can't replace them, what's hers is hers and what's yours is, oh, yeah, well, oh, that's right, what's yours is hers as well). The very idea that you aren't the man she thought you were leaves her feeling vulnerable like never before, and THAT'S WHAT SHE'S REALLY PISSED ABOUT. She's supposed to be the intuitive one. She's supposed to be the specialist in relationships. The concept that you aren't what she thought you to be is the real insult to her. Not that she'll ever admit it, though. So let's be honest here, and face it; they are upset about us wearing woman's clothing for the purpose of trying to be, or trying to look like women. And that's what it's really all about. We can borrow her brush, her toenail clippers, her hot iron and blow dryer, even her car (and if we get into an accident, yeah, she's upset, but no where near how upset she gets if she finds out we borrowed HER PANTIES...hmmm, a ten dollar item bothers her more than one worth $30,000; now, thats a little peculiar, isn't it). Lets face it, the 'nothing's more personal than my underwear and that's the only reason I'm upset' argument is a little bit of a stretch, no pun intended.

[StaceyJane]

I've been trying. so far I've bought my own pantyhose and a skirt once. Often I go into a store but I lose my nerve and chicken out.
I've got a goal of buying something at Walmart. I hope soon I will do this.

Stacey :)

[Julogden]

I agree. Like many, I began by trying on my mother's clothes and even dressing up with girls in the neighborhood using their clothes a few times, but I never took any of their stuff.

I outgrew my mom's clothes early on, so my dressing became less and less frequent as I got older, and I began buying my own clothes as soon as I got my first real job when I was 18, couldn't wait.

Carol

[Rachel Welsley]

my house has an interesting situation. Trista & I wear close to the same size right now so like roomies, we borrow each others clothes. it's ok around here though, because as we shop, we hear the other often say, I'm so stealing that from you sometime. :D

[Violet]

Women share their clothing with other women at the drop of a hat. Their dresses, their shoes, their bathing suits, even panties if for some reason a girlfriend's clothes get ruined and she has no alternative, a woman will gladly donate, even give her clothes away if she knows another really desparately needs them.

Ew, gross. I have never, ever, in my whole life, borrowed another woman's panties. EVER. I go commando before that happens.

Also, I really was only upset because my SO stretched out my good bra; they are not cheap, darn it, and I don't have a lot of money to spend on good bras. I wasn't upset about the bra wearing itself, though, because he told me about his dressing before he took my stuff. That's the important distinction there.

If she's learning about your dressing at the same time she's learning you took her clothes, well, then, she's probably got more than clothes to be upset about.

[Tess]

A significant part of my crossdressing was done with no insight into what other crossdressers did or even into how many men crossdress. Those pre-internet days. Fortunately I was always close to the same size of first my mother and then my wife so my dressing was limited to what I "borrowed" from them. About twenty years ago I read an article in the local newspaper about crossdressers and suddenly a light went on! I could buy my own cloths (if I could find a place to hide them). Within a relatively short time I accumulated a basic set of cloths and makeup. I have to admit that I still occasionally borrow from my wife, but that's an exception to normal practice these days. BTW, when my daughters were growing up I had a tough time keeping them out of my closet...they were always borrowing my drab cloths and usually one of my favorite shirts!

[trannie T]

Would it be wrong to steal money to buy clothes?
Is it not just as wrong to steal clothes?

It is not easy to enter a store and buy that first item of femanine apparel, but if you work up your courage a little and actually do it you will be amazed at how easy it is.
If you are still afraid to buy things in person there are many catalogs available by mail or on the interweb.
If you are still too timid to buy things on the web or by mailorder you do not need to wear anything other than drab.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

My S/O took an afternoon not long ago to open up her side of the closet and point out the things that were "fair game" and some dresses etc that were not. Sounds like another example of GREAT communication without misunderstanding to get the job done. Love her for that.

Underwear and bras? Nah, I buy my own and can tell you the GGs are right... they ARE expensive!

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[Nicole Erin]

Everyone already knows this.
Ok so maybe a person or 2 will read it and think "Wow, I did not know it was wrong to steal someone else's clothes! I am glad I learned that!"

But while we are at it -
Everyone please buy your own office supplies! Quit stealing the ones from work!

[CD Susan]

Just one comment.....

Thrift stores !

They have an amazing array of clothes, and the prices are great.
I've picked up skirts for $ 1.50 - 2.00


Diane

I think that everyone can afford to buy thier own clothes at thrift store prices. Personally I started buying my own clothes around the age of 12. I was married for 23 years and never even once borrowed my wife's clothes. Wearing someone elses clothing without their permission is just wrong.

[Satrana]

I personally do not get this idea that our SOs should be pissed if we borrow their clothes assuming we don't damage them in the process. You are living together and sharing everything else, even sharing each other's bodies so this defensive attitude does not seem to make any sense to me in a loving relationship.

My wife and I share everything and she routinely raids both my male and female wardrobes. I have no problem with this at all, never crossed my mind that anyone else would have a problem with it. I agree with Sometimes Miss, this sounds like a proxy debate for non-accepting partners.

[Sheila]

when a woman finds out her guy is wearing woman's clothing, there's a whole lot more going on beyond the fact that those clothes are hers. Most women are willing to share pretty much everything of theirs with their man, clothes notwithstanding. The very idea that borrowing her bra would make her feel 'violated', well, I think that's a load of crap. Women share their clothing with other women at the drop of a hat. Their dresses, their shoes, their bathing suits, even panties
if for some reason a girlfriend's clothes get ruined and she has no alternative, a woman will gladly donate, even give her clothes away if she knows another really desparately needs them. .....
the will gladly donate bit means no borrowing without permission is taking place, they are being given, GOT THAT GIVEN, and need rather than want


I wear nice cotton long sleeve shirts, and have lost a few over the years that the girls have decided to 'appropriate' for themselves. I lost two XXL sized Knick's sweatshirts to women who also liked the team; did they ask, no; they just came back after a commercial wearing them, saying how nice and warm and comfy they were. And we all know how hard it is to turn down anything to a woman who we know is going to continue make us deliriously happy in the bedroom.
one would assume thwey were later taken off in the bedroom, and as they were being worn openly in front of you, you had the opportunity to say "please, I would rather you asked before borrowing my things", instead you chose to "allow" the borrowing in return for the chance of being made deleriously happy in the bedroom later .... you had a choice hun, many woman do not have that choice when it comes to their partners wearing their clothing as it is done secretly............... see the difference


It's not about the borrowing of her clothes
NO maybe it isn't, there again, maybe it is .... you know I get seriously pissed off if my daughter borrows things of mine without so much as a by your leave..... day to day things are usually (note the word usually) interchanagable between us, and requires no "permission" as such but touch either of our other stuff without asking and we are risking a seriously fed up mum/daughter


It IS the fact that we're wearing 'girl clothes' that freaks them out; It is a shock; one that is so incomprehensible to her that she will immediately start coming up with all sorts of other reasons why she's angry .

yup maybe she is angry, but if she is just discovering that you cd, maybe she is confused, bewildered and upset as to why you felt that you kept this a deep dark secret from her
I think you will find that if "She" is just discovering you CD, the lies & deceit are usually the main reason for the anger ........ but what would I know Iam just a GG:sad:


The very idea that you aren't the man she thought you were leaves her feeling vulnerable like never before, and THAT'S WHAT SHE'S REALLY PISSED ABOUT.

Sorry but it is way more than that .......... yes we look again at out partner, but we also look damn hard at ourselves, Why did we not notice?, what is wrong with us that you did not trust us enough to tell us? where did we fail? (not as women but as partners)


She's supposed to be the intuitive one. She's supposed to be the specialist in relationships.

??? That bit baffles me .......I thought that two peeps should be specalists in their relationship not just one


the concept that you aren't what she thought you to be is the real insult to her.Not that she'll ever admit it, though. So let's be honest here, (that would make a nice change :heehee::heehee: and face it; they are upset about us wearing woman's clothing (NO WE GET UPSET ABOUT BEING LIED TO, amongst other things)for the purpose of trying to be, or trying to look like women. And that's what it's really all about. .
That of course coming from a male point of view. and boy they shine through brightly here a lot of the time.:heehee:

PLEASE stop trying to tell us woman how we feel, we are perfectly capable of having our own feelings and they will not always agree with yours, but ramming your theories down our throats as truth, does not make them so ( and that bit is at nobody in particular, it is a generalisation)



Ew, gross. I have never, ever, in my whole life, borrowed another woman's panties. EVER. I go commando before that happens.

If she's learning about your dressing at the same time she's learning you took her clothes, well, then, she's probably got more than clothes to be upset about.

:iagree:


I personally do not get this idea that our SOs should be pissed if we borrow their clothes assuming we don't damage them in the process.

why does that not surprise me :doh:
AND GET THIS , it is often not the "borrowing" of our clothes that pisses us off, for some of us,it's about the length of time you have been doing it before we found out.

I personally had no prob withanything M wanted to wear of mine, no permission needed ..... after I found out

There were things of his I borrowed and wore all the time we were tog ....... BUT I DID IT OPENLY ... that gave him every chance to say to me "I would rather you didn't borrow that" and he did on the odd occasion (I have large bits on top :heehee:) ... so I never did again .......... BUT NOTE I WORE THESE OPENLY

You are living together and sharing everything else, even sharing each other's bodies so this defensive attitude does not seem to make any sense to me in a loving relationship.
I agree with Sometimes Miss, this sounds like a proxy debate for non-accepting partners.

In a loving relationship there should be no place for lies and deceit, and hey anytime we disageree on anything to do with CDING, suddenly we are "unaaccepting" wow WHAT A SURPRISE:Angry3::Angry3:

[Paige.]

AMEN!!
My first interest in CD's came with a b/f that tried on my clothes but he didn't sneak into my closet or drawers. It was a mutual experiment. We quickly got him his own starter kit from thrift shops.
You men can quickly stretch and ruin good clothes and shoes. Grow up and start selecting your own styles for your own tastes.

[kristinacd55]

Absolutely! Plus in most cases you're stretching out your SO's clothes too. It's just not fair, although in my case my wardrobe's getting out of control. :)

[LaurenRenee]

I agree. Once you get past the experimental stage and discover that you really enjoy dressing in women's clotehs, yo should go buy your own. First of al it's simply being polite. Then there's the innate thrill / enjoyment in going shopping. And finally it allows one to develop their own fashion personality.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I agree I do get the cast offs however there is something about having your own clothes that makes you feel better about yourself. I would also say have everything as your own from clothes, deodorants, perfumes and make up.

[Sammy777]

It seems a lot of people are interchanging the words stealing & borrowing as if they were the same thing, they are not.

Yes, I agree that stealing is wrong, Duh?
If you take something & either intentionally or unintentionally do not return it for what ever reason that is stealing.

If anyone "uses" a piece of clothing & returns it undamaged, that is not stealing. It does not matter if it was worn in public or in private.

I do have to agree that the line is drawn at underwear.

I also agree that even borrowing clothes has to stop at a certain point & you have to move on & buy your own.


Now yes ALL of us have certain clothes that mean more to us then others & tend to get more upset it they borrowed over anything else we own.
Yes, I have told family, friends, girlfriends - NO you can not wear that before during or after they tried to.
They pretty much all know there are things you can borrow & things you can borrow if you ask first.
And finally things you can borrow when hell freezes over or I'm dead, lol.
Does that always stop them, No. Is it wrong? Sorta. Is it stealing? No.

Again, this is still not stealing [if you return it]
But just because you wear in front of that person does not take away from the fact that you did borrow without asking.
Just because something is not said it does not mean that the person you borrowed it from is not upset about it.

Now, not to incur the wraith of the GG's here, [I come in peace, lol]
It has been my experience with my Sister, GG friends & Girlfriends that none of them ever really ask to borrow my clothes.
Like it is somehow implied that it's OK for women to borrow guys clothes.
Now I don't know if this is a gg thing or if it's because women can openly wear mens clothes or a combination of both.
It's also my experience that women more then guys tend to "Perma-Borrow" clothes.
You know its not yours, you know exactly when you borrowed it, why you borrowed it & who you borrowed it from.
You may have only worn it that one time or several times since borrowing it. But its been in your closet for 6 months now & yet you do not actively seek to return it.

Many times I have been handed my own t-shirts, socks, dress shirts, jeans, jackets, you name it back when I asked if they had something I could wear. None of which was asked to be borrowed from or left there by me.

[Christina Horton]

Sorry sisters, but I feel I have to post this, I am seeing too many posts from new or relatively new members who are supposed to be adults and they are still STEALING clothing from their mothers or sisters or neighbors, or even their significant others.

This is one of the key reasons that many GG's get upset when we finally come out to them and they find out that we have been wearing their clothing. That is truly the worst invasion of their privacy we could possibly commit. That coupled with the fact that we are keeping a secret from them that is so paramount to who we are as a person just adds fuel to the proverbial fire against them supporting us.

Yes, many of us, if not all, started out borrowing (stealing), clothing from our sisters, or mother when we were young, but once we were able to do so, we purchased our own clothing. I personally have my wifes permission to wear anything of hers that I want as long as she does not plan on wearing it, and visa-versa. We communicate (That is KEY in having a good CD/GG relationship) with each other and know what's on the others mind.

So, Please my young sister CD's, buy your own clothing and make-up to wear. Leave their things alone.

Kandis:love::rose2:

I never did any (borrowing (stealing) of my mom's or my sis stuff. I thought it was gross to do that. I would feel very weird to do that. Plus I have a more fancy taste then my famliy. The only dress I would wear was my Late aunt's dress untill I out grew it.:hugs::canada:

[missattitude]

even though I don't live at home now, I always stole my sister's clothes. Boy, did it piss them off. I would have to explain this to mom, which I never did. I always got a rush from stealing them, and getting away with them. But me, lol, I would not put them back, even after weeks. The one day they want to wear there stuff, its under my bed and they got to go ask their brother for their clothes back. It was embarrassing and I probably would do it agian because I was to bashful to go out and get my own. I was pain to grow up with, hehe.

[immike]

AMEN!!
My first interest in CD's came with a b/f that tried on my clothes but he didn't sneak into my closet or drawers. It was a mutual experiment. We quickly got him his own starter kit from thrift shops.
You men can quickly stretch and ruin good clothes and shoes. Grow up and start selecting your own styles for your own tastes.
Hey,Paige-
I'm the same size as mom,so her clothes fit me perfectly,she'll never know.I only use her
dresses,skirts,blouses,pantsuits&skirtsuits,heels,wig,make-up.I order frilly stuff&panty
hose,out of mothers womens catalogs,or online.And besides,her wardrobe is much more
expensive&feels silky soft against my skin,I love the feel.

[immike]

I agree. Once you get past the experimental stage and discover that you really enjoy dressing in women's clotehs, yo should go buy your own. First of al it's simply being polite. Then there's the innate thrill / enjoyment in going shopping. And finally it allows one to develop their own fashion personality.
I just like going into mothers closet&dressing in her clothes?

[KandisTX]

Hey,Paige-
I'm the same size as mom,so her clothes fit me perfectly,she'll never know.I only use her
dresses,skirts,blouses,pantsuits&skirtsuits,heels,wig,make-up.I order frilly stuff&panty
hose,out of mothers womens catalogs,or online.And besides,her wardrobe is much more
expensive&feels silky soft against my skin,I love the feel.


Trust me immike.. Mothers ALWAYS know. A Woman knows when her things have been messed with. While you may think you are putting one over on her and that "She will never know".. you are only fooling yourself. A woman will always know if someone has been in her things.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[StaceyJane]

Your right, My mother noticed that some of her bras had been hooked back together. Then there was the finger nail polish residue on the nails.
Now days I do the laundry and I put up my wifes clothes so she doesn't notice.

Stacey :)

[Nicole Erin]

I can't honestly say I have ever ripped off my wife's stuff. We share some things sure, things that fit. She borrows my stuff all the time.
So -
What about us CDs who have a wife who is always borrowing our stuff?
Don't we get any sympathy? :heehee: