Finally Found Myself

[TrekGirl1701]

This year has been a very important one for me. At the beginning of 2008 when I first joined this community I was lost. I was hoping that talking with others just like me would help me feel more comfortable with crossdressing. That didn't happen, though. I've only made fifty or so posts and they were sporadic. My comfort level was still low and I would flip flop between wanting to be a crossdresser and not wanting to be a crossdresser.

Well, I've finally discovered my true self. It's never been so clear to me. I've always been an introverted person. Shy, keeping to myself, secretive. And it was my secret of crossdressing that was causing that. I used to be so afraid of anybody knowing my secret, but now I know that it won't be the end of the world if it happens. Crossdressing will very much be a part of my future. I'm not coming out to anybody just yet. But I can clearly see myself growing my hair out and shaving my body hair and walking out in public wearing women's clothing. Right now I'm limited my dressing to around my apartment when I'm by myself and whenever I'm writing. I really feel that being happy will help me be more creative. And I'm just waiting for the right time to come out. But I'm not hiding my clothes anymore. I'll hang them up in my closet without worries.

To celebrate my self-discovery I went out and bought a whole outfit at Kohl's. And you know what? For the first time I didn't feel scared or anything. I walked right in, looked around for a while, brought my selections to the register and paid. It was easy as pie.

So now I'm looking forward to posting more on this board and just being happier in general. :)

[Tomara]

Congratulations on your new found freedom , I am sure you will find more joy in your life .
Tomara

[mykhelee]

One of the greatest feelings is finding the pefect outfit to go with a new pair of heels. :)
Wishing you all the best in your journey, I joined at about the same time and the help and support I have received here has been priceless.

[deja true]

Aw... Trekkie! That's great!

The realization that there's really nothing wrong with us at all is very liberating...and I'm glad you finally got there.

There's no rush to get out and about or start posting a dozen times a day. We all follow our own pace...it's just another type of growing up...!

And I think you'll fnd, too, that as you become more at ease with your secret self, your public self will benefit as well...

[TrekGirl1701]

Aw... Trekkie! That's great!

The realization that there's really nothing wrong with us at all is very liberating...and I'm glad you finally got there.

Me too! I can't believe how good I feel right now. I can't even think of what brought this on.


There's no rush to get out and about or start posting a dozen times a day. We all follow our own pace...it's just another type of growing up...!

Yeah, like I said I'm not coming out yet. I think when I'm in a more secure place regarding my finances and I start making a living writing I'll come out.


And I think you'll fnd, too, that as you become more at ease with your secret self, your public self will benefit as well...

That's been the problem as long as I can remember. I've never been too open with people because I feared that they might one day find out that I crossdress. But now I just don't care if anybody knows. But like I said there are other areas of my life that I want to sort out before I open that can of worms.

[Ruth]

Like so many things that trouble us, the answer is blindingly simple when we get it. I am very happy for you and I am sure this is the beginning of a fruitful progression for you.Don't rush it though, just let it happen.

[docrobbysherry]

For your encouraging post!

Every time someone, like u, posts that they r out of the closet, and accepting of their CDing, it helps the rest of us!
By "us", I mean the guilt ridden, in denial, cowardly closet CDs. ( I can say that, because I R ONE!):doh:

[CharleneT]

The first time is spooky but it gets easier. Especially with big boxes like Kohl's, they just want to make a sale.

[justmetoo]

Good for you! :D

[Brandy Monroe]

. I would flip flop between wanting to be a crossdresser and not wanting to be a crossdresser.

Well, I've finally discovered my true self. It's never been so clear to me. I've always been an introverted person. Shy, keeping to myself, secretive. And it was my secret of crossdressing that was causing that. I used to be so afraid of anybody knowing my secret, but now I know that it won't be the end of the world if it happens. Crossdressing will very much be a part of my future.
:)

WOW reading that just gave me chill's. I can relate 100% and am at a loss of words but not thoughts.

[Christina Horton]

For your encouraging post!

Every time someone, like u, posts that they r out of the closet, and accepting of their CDing, it helps the rest of us!
By "us", I mean the guilt ridden, in denial, cowardly closet CDs. ( I can say that, because I R ONE!):doh:

Hun I have a question for you , do you try to do your makeup to pass or for the shock value, I am sorry if I hurt your feeling . Your pics look like you want to go passed passing to wow A drag Queen. Plz tell me what it is hun thanks hun. :hugs::canada:

[CD Susan]

I am happy for you TrekGirl. I used to be the same way many years ago. When I learned to accept myself and stop denying who and what I was my life changed for the better. I hope your experience of discovery will be as positive as mine has been.

[Angie G]

Welcome to the wonderful world of SHOPPING hun and congrats on accepting yourself as a crossdresser you go girl.:hugs:
Angie

[carolinewalker_2000]

Congratulations; let's raise a glass and toast you and the future!

[TrekGirl1701]

Thanks for all of the responses everyone!

I've also found out what kind of crossdresser that I am. I'm a very casual one. I'm not going to go full-on and buy bras and breastforms. I also don't want to wear panties. I'm very comfortable in boxers so that won't change. I'll also only wear flats. Before I used to wear anything that a female would wear, but now I ask what's the point? I should wear what's comfortable to me.