Do you actually want to go out?

[Deborah Jane]

Hi girls
There seem to have been quite a few threads recently about going out and how great it is.

The question is though....Do you actually want to go out?
Or are you quite happy staying in the closet?

Personally with me, sometimes theres nothing i,d like more, having experianced it a few times late at night, but most of the time i,m more than happy to stay in the closet

[LACD]

I would love to go out but I think I have plenty of work to do before that happens. I have a couple of outfits that I think would work, as Dear Wife gave her approval of them. Maybe one day. I'm happy in the closet but it's getting smaller every year.

[lynn2c]

YES, I want to go out and mingle with the world. I have a few times and really had fun. There are reasons that I really can't though, so I just stay in the house.

[Electra]

I would say, yes, I definitely want to go out. Have been out once or twice in the company of a GG and the experience was simply marvellous.

[Jonianne]

I always wanted to go out since I was a child, but I thought I would be satisfied if I only dressed in private. Once my wife took me out (she said Joni needs to feel the sun on her face) and I learned ,"Yes, even I can do this!", then I much prefer going out.

[Sarah...]

Yes. Too scared of the consequences to do so anywhere near here.

Sarah...

[Ruth]

Yes, I look forward to going out whenever I can (which is not often). It is such a much more intense experience than just dressing for yourself. And being seen by others is very much a part of the dressing experience, for GGs just as much as CDers.

[JC]

i will sahre with just my wife .... and i have a wonderful life

jc

[TommiTN]

:yt: What Ruth said...

[DeborahAnne]

I have been lucky enough to been out on several occasions whilst on holiday at arranged events. I did go once on my own at night but it was not a pleasant experience so would not do it again and definately not in my own locality. I do feel a lot happier if in company of others

[BuffyCD]

Going out would be fun, but I enjoy the many male aspects of myself such as....HAIR, and I don't feel the NEED to go out! Also the line of work im in makes it difficult seeing as I perform on a regular basis as a musician in MALE Form....that's all im sayin! haha!

[Jennifer Cox]

I'd love to go out, but wouldn't pass, so if I did it'd have to be at about 3am! LOL! :sad:

Whilst it'd be nice to shop dressed, I'm not really interested in being seen by others, although I guess it'd be nice to be taken for a GG.

My main motive for going out would be that it gets boring being stuck indoors for any length of time. Even in drab, I often need to get out of the house, even if just for a walk around the neighbourhood.

[mykhelee]

Yes I DO !!!!

Just not alone.

[Ballerina]

I think it'd be fun. Not a neccessity for me, but fun.

[Deborah Jane]

Yes I DO !!!!

Just not alone.

Thats how i often feel.
I,d like to go out, but not on my own.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I dress everyday/everynight, but I do sometimes get a bit agitated, or should I say reclusive. I'm content doing it at home, its just that theres another side saying "I want to go out", and in my opinion, I cant feel like a complete woman until i go out fully dressed with make up on.
I'm going to a picnic in january outdoors, which will be my first step outside dressed, and I'm thinking of going to a gay nightclub on sunday nights nearby where cd's go too. I'm confident in doing it, and I feel I'm ready.
Why stay home, if theres a oppurtunity to go out?

[Marissa Mae]

Oh yes, the urge to go out is ever persistent! I have gone out on a Friday or Saturday night a couple of times now, but that was to a bar (a fantastic one at that!!), but I really want to go out whenever and wherever I' want, be it day time, night time, cold or hot out! When you go out and are treated like a normal person, it's such a wonderful feeling :daydreaming:

[sometimes_miss]

Deborah, there's nothing any of us wants more than to be accepted and even loved for everything we are. Knowing, as we do, how little chance there is for crossdressing to be on that list, the very idea of walking out of the house and meeting other people that smile and tell us how wonderful we look, are nice to us and give us that little appreciative smile that people do when they really like us, if all this happens while we are dressed up, and even to have women (or men, if that's what you want) approach us and let us know that they are attracted to us as the woman we feel ourselves to be, well, that would be one of the high points in my life, and probably everyone else here's as well. We want it so bad we can taste it; every time we're out, and see people looking at a beautiful woman, we think, please, please, god, why can't people look at me that way. Even though we know the chances of it actually happening are so remote, it's like winning the lottery. We want it so much, we're willing to risk it all just for the chance. I know what I look like; a linebacker in a short skirt. I know that 99.9% of the world will think it absurd that I would want to wear it. But I live in eternal, but slim, hope of finding that .1% of women who might love me this way. Problem is, it's beginning to seem like they'll find the fountain of youth before I find a girlfriend.

[Sam-antha]

Is going out a need for me ? Yes !
That is what my wardrobe is for, going out in.
(Pictures,..... me on the street, walking along in my wardrobe).

~Samm

[deja true]

Many seem to want to go out but fear the outside world or not passing or need to be with someone else...

This is exactly what the many conferences and "weekends en femme" are for. Of the many many girls at BeAll (450) or SCC(over 900!), very few would pass in public. But in the warm embrace of scores and hundreds of like minded folks, there is acceptance and sympathy and fun and so much to learn, that we forget about our "failings" and get to concentrate on our successes.

I would urge all who feel even slightly 'trapped' or feel that their 'closets are getting smaller by the day', to consider going to an event near you. There is camaraderie there, and friendship, and the liberating feeling of being out in the open with sisters and brohers in a safe and welcoming atmosphere.

Fully 10% or more of the attendees at the conferences I mentioned were first-timers, (including myself after decades of being alone)and for all of us, the nerves of doing that for the first time disappeared in the first 10 minutes of stepping into that marvelous crowd. Everybody...and I mean everybody...is on your side and willing to help and prtoect you.

The friends I made there, including more than a dozen girls from here that all met face to face for the first time, will become long time friends and confidants. (At one lunch table that 10 of us shared, 8 were newbies! And by day two we were out and about at restaurants and shopping malls like we'd been doing it for years.)

There's strength (and courage) in numbers, girls and boys!

Search for threads on BeAll and SCC from the past several months...you'll find lots of info there on what even scaredy cats like us can do.

By the way, the conferences are very open to couples, too. There were many husband and wife teams there, with even special events and gatherings for the wives and SOs.

I was a confirmed stay at home, too, for a long long time. Now I'm a firm believer in the value of gatherings like these. It's how we grow!

[debbeelee1]

I've been out about 8 times and mostly, they've been great experiences. I've only been out to GLBT bars though. I'm not passable and not ready for the mall on Saturday afternoon!

[Kate Simmons]

Well, yes and no Debs. I used to go the the club every Friday and Saturday night without fail and sometimes outings with my friends. I would also go to the local UU church occassionally on Sunday. Lately it's been like pulling teeth to get me to go anywhere though, not quite sure why. I seem more content to be an old coot with a mustache these days and advise other T-Gals. It's either Grandpa syndrome or I'm going to hell in a handbasket, hard to say really. Don't get me wrong, when I do manage to pull myself out there as Aria, I thoroughly enjoy myself as always.;):)

[MarinaTwelve200]

I do NOT have the urge to go out. I am perfectly happy inside.

No reflection on anyone else intended here, but in my personal opinion, and as far as I personally feel, I consider going out dressed as both dangerous and stupid.----and I think that alone sorta kills the urge in me.

I think there is a distinction between being a "private" CDer and a "closeted" CDer. A private CDer fells no urge or need to go out and a closeted CDer "wants" to go out, but fear keeps him/her inside. I consider myself a private CDer. The psychology of the thing may be different with different people.

[Kerrylee61]

I used to be able to go to a club where I live that was Gay/Lesbian/CD etc friendly. It was a hoot and my SO went at least twice a week. Unfortunatly, it closed about five years ago and since then I've hardly been fully dressed at all. Just not the same without the "outside the house" experience.

Just seems like such a waste to get all dolled up with no chance to be with others.

Hugs
Kerry Lee

[Billie_P]

Do you actually want to go out? Yes, I do.

I've been slowly working up to it.

I finally have a wig after trying on about a dozen of them or so on at the wig shop. So this weekend will probably have me going out fully dressed.

[Ronni Seymour]

Hon, if you are comfortable with what you do and don't feel the need to go out, don't sweat it. Even though I love to go out, like you, I very much enjoy dressing up at home. It's good to be able to relax and not really worry about how I look, just enjoy the feeling of the clothes. I have some things that I really wouldn't want to go out in, don't look good on me, but never the less love to wear.:hugs:

[janet73]

For me, I have no interest in going out fully dressed. Since I really don't think of myself as passable, I am content to dress at home, and enjoy the feeling of wearing pretty clothes there.

Not to say that as time goes on I won't go out with elements of female attire on (such as panties or painted toenails), but I am perfectly happy to look at myself in the mirror while wearing a favorite skirt or something else that makes me feel good.

Janet

[suzypier]

Going out for me is a big challenge !

[TGMarla]

I have very little desire to go out, but it's not non-existent, either. I went out this past June to a local group meeting, and it was truly wonderful to have the total acceptance, even admiration, of the folks in attendance there. I was greeted warmly, told I was pretty, and I felt totally comfortable and at ease with them. Afterwards, we all went out to a restaurant and ate, where again, I felt completely at ease.

This is with a bunch of like-minded people, though. Were I to venture out on my own, I doubt I'd fool anyone for more than a few seconds. I like wearing skirts and dresses, pantyhose, and high heels, and this makes me stand out to begin with. So I'll turn heads, and it might not be long before they realized that they were not dealing with an actual woman. I did not have this problem with the transgender folks. And while at the restaurant, I was at least with a small crowd of others. There is safety in numbers.

I would like to go out again. I'm thinking of making my next outing fully dressed to a local wig shop where I purchased the one you always see me wearing several years back. They were really great to me, and they deserve my return business. But I'm not fully decided yet. Most times, I am perfectly content to stay home where I am in familiar surroundings and quite safe. I have the total acceptance of my dogs, and I really need little else that the outside world has to offer.

[Amy07]

Going out dressed femme seems to be THE common desire, but reality kicks in, and then, depending on where you live in this world, you might get to do it safely, and with friends. I like doing it here, with all you fine people, at home.

[Celeste]

Absolutely,and the longer I put it off the stronger the desire becomes.I took time to evaluate my reasons for wanting out and found it was more me wanting to satisfy my curiosity,meet others,meet the challenge and enjoy the thrill of it.It would be wonderful to slightly pass but even better to be accepted for just who I am.

I feel I need to look at it this way,my aim is not to satisfy anyone else but see it as a progressive step toward being a little more relaxed with me.My heart goes into thump mode when I visualize it.

[unclejoann]

I have gone out with another girl from here, and I was thrilled that people were friendly and chatty. There was no doubt they all knew I was CDing, it was that kind of place, but what a nice community. I felt pretty and alive.

[sometimes_miss]

Deja, I already know that there are a few million men out there just like myself who will accept me en femme. But that's not a surprise, really. I also know that there are a lot of men out there that are interested in having sex with us. No surprise there either. But none of that matters, it's all common knowledge to us. What a lot of us want is to know where to find WOMEN that are like that too. Now THAT will be a convention I will go to. I can see it now; WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS, THIS YEARS HOME TO THE 'WOMEN WHO LOVE GIRLY GUYS' CONVENTION. GUESS WHAT, EVERY NIGHT IS LADIES NIGHT'. Hey, I'll crawl the 2500 miles through barbed wire to get to that one.

[GabrielleS]

Definitely, go out -- been out a couple of times with other CD'ers but only to club type functions. Just the same, it was a lot of fun. :battingeyelashes: Now, need to take it to the next level.

Gaby

[Nicki B]

'Passing' surely isn't an essential part of going out - but being treated in a feminine way is maybe what most of us who do go out are looking for?

Safety, for most though is very important (there are a few who may be looking for a risk :heehee:), but finding safe places to start, is perfectly possible - as Deja said? :)

[avril findlay]

I love going out (I don't mean to CD friendly pubs or clubs) with my sister and her GGfriend, usually shopping and lunch. Three smartly dressed women enjoying a day out, heaven! I wish we could do it every weekend but unfortunately it's usually only once a month.

[docrobbysherry]

It makes us face our fears head on! Or me, at least!

I would equate going out dressed, as being the same as going to a nude beach! THAT, I know about! When we visited the famous French nude beach, St. Tropez, back in the day, I couldn't wait to see all the naked breasts! What I DIDN'T realize, was how uncomfortable I would feel there, wearing a bathing suit! Once we took ours off, I felt fine! The boobs were fine! But, after awhile, naked seemed normal!

THAT is probably how I would feel if I went out among the general public dressed! Very uncomfortable, or worse!:o

However, going to misc. gender friendly club(s), with other CDs, ( you're one I think would be good company, Debra Jane), seems like it would be a hoot! Or maybe a CD/TG convention. Deja and others make THAT sound like fun!:drink:

For the present, my closet is just fine!:D

[lari]

After the first time which about gave me a heart attack I found I truly love it. Now I can't stay in

[Christina Horton]

Yes. Too scared of the consequences to do so anywhere near here.

Sarah...
I go out In the day time and to the mall. Tell me girls Do you think I pass. The thing about me is I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK. well I do but not for if they think Hay there's a guy IN A DRESS.


I dress everyday/everynight, but I do sometimes get a bit agitated, or should I say reclusive. I'm content doing it at home, its just that theres another side saying "I want to go out", and in my opinion, I cant feel like a complete woman until i go out fully dressed with make up on.
I'm going to a picnic in january outdoors, which will be my first step outside dressed, and I'm thinking of going to a gay nightclub on sunday nights nearby where cd's go too. I'm confident in doing it, and I feel I'm ready.
Why stay home, if theres a oppurtunity to go out?

You go girl ..........Out there and have funn

I've been out about 8 times and mostly, they've been great experiences. I've only been out to GLBT bars though. I'm not passable and not ready for the mall on Saturday afternoon!

That the only place's I have been tha mall I mean , Going to the bar's scares me a little.




I do NOT have the urge to go out. I am perfectly happy inside.

No reflection on anyone else intended here, but in my personal opinion, and as far as I personally feel, I consider going out dressed as both dangerous and stupid.----and I think that alone sorta kills the urge in me.

I think there is a distinction between being a "private" CDer and a "closeted" CDer. A private CDer fells no urge or need to go out and a closeted CDer "wants" to go out, but fear keeps him/her inside. I consider myself a private CDer. The psychology of the thing may be different with different people.


Well good for you . you got more will power that I. If you read the other girls threads you will find that most of the girls have not had anything realy bad happen, For the most part it's safe. People treat you as you prseant your self. If you look like you don.t belong there then they will treat you like a MAN in a DRESS. If you walk the like halls like you own them they like wize will treat you like you belong. my :2c: worth



Do you actually want to go out? Yes, I do.

I've been slowly working up to it.

I finally have a wig after trying on about a dozen of them or so on at the wig shop. So this weekend will probably have me going out fully dressed.

Hint go to a place and get a makeup lesson for a pro. I did and I learend so much . M.A.C. does it but you find a place that has privet rooms to do it BRING her to the place get the makeup done the get dressed and go out you'll love it .


Absolutely,and the longer I put it off the stronger the desire becomes.I took time to evaluate my reasons for wanting out and found it was more me wanting to satisfy my curiosity,meet others,meet the challenge and enjoy the thrill of it.It would be wonderful to slightly pass but even better to be accepted for just who I am.

I feel I need to look at it this way,my aim is not to satisfy anyone else but see it as a progressive step toward being a little more relaxed with me.My heart goes into thump mode when I visualize it.

Your heart will go Bang Bang BANG BANG when you are out , oh man what fun. girls for the ones In the jail cell. oh sorry the "closet" I feel for you , but if your happey then stay there . I you go out you will be hooked . Lets all the other girls have the fun. I am just teasing you girls. If the home thing is your bag more power to you. And if I made you mad , ask your self WHY.:hugs::canada:

[Ashlyee Paige]

I HAVE to go out :> I hate spending 20-30 mins doing my make up and not having anywhere to go, alot of times i will just goto walmart or the gas station and get some items just to get out of the house. Unless I have money to go to a club but paydays are far apart :<

[BeckiB]

Since I really don't think of myself as passable, I am content to dress at home, and enjoy the feeling of wearing pretty clothes there.



Janet, truth is most of us are not truely passable. Confidence is the key. I know I cannot pass so I just try to be the prettiest crossdresser I can.


just remember...what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! ;)

[ElaineB]

Going out is not really a priority for me. At some point I would like to see if I can pass, but I see it as a challenge ... something to try when I think I am ready for it. I could easily see myself losing interest afterwards, if I did go out and pass once.

I have thought of going to a local CD meeting sometime, as a different kind of thing. Somehow though, the local group just does not appeal.

[TSchapes]

That's the thing that drives me! Do I always pass? No. Am I treated with respect, you bet!

Here's one other thing I think about: The world is a better place with Tracy in it! I know that for a fact, and I don't want to deprive the world of it! :D

Go out, be yourself and enjoy!

Love, Tracy

[Jilmac]

Deb, Since I emerged from the closet, I love going out. I have gone out numerous times with friends both in broad daylight and at night. I have also walked down to my mailbox en femme and have spent numerous days working in my garage en femme. Going out is the best part of dressing.:D

[Patricia Johnson]

For me going out is an important part of my persona. i think it also ties into the fact that at my core I am a very competitive guy and equate my ability to pass as the scale to measure my success by. I am driven to perfect the walk, talk and look and then go outside and enjoy the fruits of my labors.

[sterling12]

Do you mean that some of you actually want to stay in? OK, that's your choice, you can be like some exotic orchid and spend your life indoors inside that hothouse environment.

But trust me, it sucks! I'm sure I could find one or two Gurls who didn't like going out, for whatever reason, but for about 99.9&#37; of us being out doing things is like a drug that we would never want to give up. It feels so exhilarating that a lot of "newly-outs" want to share their experience and encourage everyone else. That's why you get a lot of those types of messages.

I'm seeing a common thread among those people who want to stay inside their home: "I'm not passable, I need a lot of work, maybe tomorrow, maybe sometime soon." I'll give you a quote from "The Music Man, our hero professor Harold Hill is trying to get Marion The Librarian to go out with him. She exclaims: "Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week!" He looks her in the eye and says, "Oh Madam Librarian, you keep on putting things off until tomorrow, you just end up with a whole lot of yesterday's."

It's not about passing, find some gurlfriends, find a group, AND GO OUT! Please send me a PM and tell me how right I was, it helps to hear that sometimes.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Sallee]

Yes I want to a and do go out. That seems to me to be a super thrill even if it is somewhere, and it usually is, very mundane, the mall the movies. I wish I understood it but I have stopped trying and just have a good time if I get read and I am sure I do I just kind of ignore it. Most folks don't notice or don't care A smile will usually disarm them :)

[CD Susan]

I started going out five months ago. Before this time I was too scared to do it but once I tried it I became hooked. I just love going out dressed now and do it quite often. I have found that having a high level of confidence is the key to passing and fitting in with everyone else. In two days I will be attending a cd support meeting and several of us will be going out after the meeting. I am looking forward to this very much.

[Vivian Chen]

I guess I was quite brave, or rather naive but I went to the Diva Las Vegas event the first years I started dressing up. I don't see a need for me to be in public so it's usually CD friendly events that I attend.

[Jess_cd32]

To go out and mingle with the general public no, but eventually I'd like to get out dressed to a cd friendly club or something like that and preferably go with a few others, have some drinks, laughs and just enjoy being out with other cd's. Like my SO to go along also when she finally knows, she's a blast.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

'Passing' surely isn't an essential part of going out - but being treated in a feminine way is maybe what most of us who do go out are looking for?

Safety, for most though is very important (there are a few who may be looking for a risk :heehee:), but finding safe places to start, is perfectly possible - as Deja said? :)
Nicki you do have a good point but passing is a essential point of going out to a lot, we have both read were a lot of Cd's do not go out because they feel that they do not pass.

We talk about this at the clubs all the time but we see Cd's who can not pass but they hit the clubs all the times........why is it that they can go out and not pass and those that feel that they can not pass do not go out?

LA CINDY LOVE

[LilSissyStevie]

No, I don't even like to go out in drab. If it was up to me I'd probably never leave the farm - ever. I can't even imagine what satisfaction I could derive from going out dressed???? I guess I'm not very social. My mother used to say I was "self contained" LOL. Actually, I don't usually dress alone either. It's something my wife and I do together.
:love:

[Janie Gunn]

After the marvelous time I had on Halloween, I have been getting the urge to go out, and I've been thinking about 'where'. There is a gay/lesbian/trangender festival on soon in the city I live in, and I'll probably go to a few events dressed en femme. I've got a meeting next week with a person from a local support group, so later on there'll be those events for me to go to. Going to shopping malls, or just being 'out' at night isnt of as much interest to me. Something I have a very strong urge to do is to put Janie on show, if I can get a tranny band together, and I wouldnt hesitate if any theatre or film opportunities came up. I've got a meeting with a casting company in a couple of weeks about extras work / acting in films/adverts etc, and when I fill out the paperwork I'll certainly be putting a tick next to 'dressing as a woman', and a few comments.
The only thought I've had re shopping en femme is to let some very nice S.A.s at a shoe store I bought from, see how I really look in the shoes (with the clothes) - they made me promise to at least show them a photo.

Janie

[Deidra Cowen]

To each there own! I personally enjoy going out...clubbing or shopping mainly. But sometimes even just driving around.

That being said I can have fun too when alone at home. Watch the tube, do a few chores and the big fun thing to do is to mess with my makeup and outfits for a few hours trying out new stuff and improving da look!!! :eek:

[carolinewalker_2000]

Just being able to be "Caroline" from time to time is the greatest reward; but yes, I would like to have the confidence to go out and mingle. I have been out dressed a few times and loved it - particularly meeting up with other CDers. However, there is lot of prejudice and it is a scary old world out there!

[Di]

I say just be yourself...it is not a race ....it is not about what other girls do ...it is about YOU:D Some have this desire to be out and around others and others are happy being home. No sense going out when all you are experiencing is terror..just because you think everyone else is out. So just be yourself...no worrys:hugs:

[victoriamwilliams1]

For me I love going out and interacting wit the public. This year I have had more interaction than any other year, I used to go out at night and since I began going out during the day I find people more accepting than even I thought.

[LaurenRenee]

Do I want to go out? OMG do I!

I'm tired of staying in the closet hiding who I am. But the major issue I have is finding the opportunity to get out. Being married and my wife not knowing about Lauren, it makes it so hard to get dressed much less get out. I seem to only be able to get out when she is away/out-of-town, which isn't often - sigh.

[TrekGirl1701]

Yes I do! Never thought I would say that, but yes I very much want to. I actually considered wearing a women's costume for my brother's Halloween party, but decided against it. I might do it next year, though.

Society needs to break through this gender barrier. If I want to go somewhere in a skirt I will!

[tamarav]

I do go out, dressed, everyday, I go to work and then buy groceries or whatever and home. Some nights I go dancing after work. It depends on how tired i am.

I used to want to go out more before I changed my lifestyle. I was looking for excuses to dress and get out, just to look good and to be verified in my eyes. As time went on and I went out more I realized that this was a natural part of being who I am and I worked toward designing my life to allow me to dress as I wished.

After retirement I went to beauty school and now work dressed daily as a hair stylist in a beauty salon and have my own transformation salon. (My salon is under reconstruction currently)

My point is, if you really want to go out, and what girl doesn't, then actively work toward that goal, not just wish around it.

Become active in a group and help their members with reaching their goals. Interacting with others is also a great way to pick up tips and find out how others are able to hide an identity from their loved ones. I learned so much from the girls at Rainbow Society in San Jose in CA years ago and ETVC in San Francisco when I lived there. It is really difficult to be objective when you are the only judge. Get out there and meet others and get their opinions. You will find that you are not alone in your desires.

Think about it, now I go to hair shows and beauty events totally dressed and have a valid excuse if people realize that I am a CD. I teach makeup for MAC and indoctrinate new makeup artists to dealing with men for female models. It is the best of both worlds.



Tami

[MJ]

This is exactly what the many conferences and "weekends en femme" are for. Of the many many girls at BeAll (450) or SCC(over 900!), very few would pass in public. But in the warm embrace of scores and hundreds of like minded folks, there is acceptance and sympathy and fun and so much to learn, that we forget about our "failings" and get to concentrate on our successes.


The friends I made there, including more than a dozen girls from here that all met face to face for the first time, will become long time friends and confidants. (At one lunch table that 10 of us shared, 8 were newbies! And by day two we were out and about at restaurants and shopping malls like we'd been doing it for years.)

Deja is right there is great value in meeting together everyone should try it at least once in there life.


What a lot of us want is to know where to find WOMEN that are like that too. Now THAT will be a convention I will go to. I can see it now; WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS, THIS YEARS HOME TO THE 'WOMEN WHO LOVE GIRLY GUYS' CONVENTION. GUESS WHAT, EVERY NIGHT IS LADIES NIGHT'. Hey, I'll crawl the 2500 miles through barbed wire to get to that one.

me too but you go first i don't want to break a nail


Janet, truth is most of us are not truely passable. Confidence is the key. I know I cannot pass so I just try to be the prettiest crossdresser I can. just remember...what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! ;)

it's not about the passing. good lord i would need to win the lottery to pass as a woman


That's the thing that drives me! Do I always pass? No. Am I treated with respect, you bet!
Here's one other thing I think about: The world is a better place with Tracy in it! I know that for a fact, and I don't want to deprive the world of it! :D

Go out, be yourself and enjoy!

Love, Tracy

And that my dear friends is the big reason you should get out how many times have we seen here at this forum alone " why don't people accept us " the simple answer is because they have not met you and therefore can't change there opinion on what they know and understand about trans people in general

[Christina2008]

I desperately want to go out.
Just working on the wardrobe at the moment.

[Daphne Renee]

I would love to go out but ... dont know that I really have the nerve to do it more than just on halloween.

[lauraabdl]

I have been out a few times, It was ever so much fun. I know I dont pass but the right places dont care and that is what it is all about, getting out and enjoying your girl side.
Laura

[Rita Knight]

Hi Everyone,
Rita first made her appearance in 1999. She has been going out since Halloween of that year.
Admitedly, I usually go to TG friendly clubs, events and organizations. I don't think I would be dressing if I did not have the social outlet from it.

Now For You Gurlz Considering Going Out For the First Time!

I realize more than a few of you are not near a support group like Tri-Ess or the Beaumont Society. It would be a great place to go out for the first time.
Here are some links.

In the USA, Tri-Ess http://www.tri-ess.org/

and Renaissance http://www.ren.org/rafil/gpc/gpc.html

And the United Kingdom, the Beaumont Society http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/

One last thing, don't worry about passing. Try to look as good as you can. I know I don't pass.

[Nicki B]

........why is it that they can go out and not pass and those that feel that they can not pass do not go out?

Looking at some of the replies here, I'd suggest fear and self-disgust are key reasons?

Yet of those of us who do, we keep saying - it's perfectly good enough to pass as yourself? :)

[Samantha43]

I guess I am different than most others here. I went out several times a few years ago to CD support club meetings then to night clubs afterward. For me, it was a let down. It wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be.

For now, I am happy to be in the closet. Crossdressing is something I do that is just for me. A way to relax and have a little fun.

[Roberta J]

Hi Samantha
I am Roberta J. Like you i have been a closet dresser for many years. I have a wardrobe of very nice dressers and tops. My wife is very supportive but will not let me go "out". At times when we go away in the car I leave in GM and change before we get there. It is defintly a great way to relax. If I lived closer to Brisbane I would join a group and go out
Love Roberta

[Maria2222]

The closet is perfectly fine for me. I love dressing up, taking some pictures, and then going back to being me. I don't need anything more.
Frankly, this is good, because my wife, who is wonderfully tolerating, would never accept my going out. There is no way that I want to jeopardize what I have there.

[lori m crawford]

for thos that dont you dont now what your missing i do but all they time an live in a small town but when i do i dont thank oney body knows me as me if you do it be a women not some thing to look at like a 17 yrs old be your age an no body will even look at you that what i do

[Molly Wells]

I have been out several times in the past. I lived in another city and would go to a glbt bar some to get out for a while. Usually other CD's there as well. We never interacted a lot but did talk a little. Most of them I saw there were much more the "drag queen" type and I, even in femme, am more conservative in my look and manner. (Not being negative, just an attempt to show differences.)
I have tried going out at other times, such as to the mall, and chickened out. One time I walked into a dept. store at the mall but didn't stay long. As I went back to my truck a man and his wife passed me in the parking lot. They stopped and waited until I got in my truck, then followed me around the parking lot, parked when I parked and were waiting for me to get out again. I finally just left, they followed me down the road for awhile before finally turning off. Really shook my confidence! After that I would only go out to a local strip mall and window shop in the areas with the fewest people.
I moved to another city over a year ago and have few opportunities to get out. It is a small town and I am well known. I work in the public eye and my being caught could be a career killer.
I only get to dress now at home, when alone for awhile and on the occasional road trip. Even to dress locally and go for a drive would be difficult because I work in the public eye and many people know my vehicle. Can't afford to take the chance.
However, I am always looking for the chance to be out and will do so again. I would really love to go shopping in femme and try on some clothes. I am about an hour from a large city and might get a chance to go one day.
All in time!

[2B Natasha]

I would love to go out. Being able to just go tot he store or a restaurant and not have a nervous breakdown at the thought. I think it would be easier to go out to a big event where there is a greater chance of no body caring. Where people are really wrapped up in the experience in hand. That would be a big confidence booster. I do have a fantasy. To go to the symphony in a long flowing gown with all the extra subtle glam. That would be heaven. This will become real one day. Until certain issues get sorted out in the drab world though, it will remain just a goal.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I'm happy in the closet. Anyway, I don't think I have the guts to go out in public.

[Jeannie]

Yes, Yes, Yes. I would love to go out just once, well maybe a lot. I put up a privacy fence in the back yard partially so that I could go outside and have been a couple of times. Then paranoia sets in and it's back in the house. I like some of the others here would find safety in numbers and would not go to town by my self. I am not a good fighter.

Jeannie

[sallyjones]

do i want to go out?YES YES YES! ithought about it for a really long time and when i finally got to go out it was awesome. i went to a straight bar first time out.

[Nadia-Maria]

Hi girls
The question is though....Do you actually want to go out?
Or are you quite happy staying in the closet?

Personally with me, sometimes theres nothing i,d like more, having experianced it a few times late at night, but most of the time i,m more than happy to stay in the closet

Hi Deborah,

You asked a very good question, that moreover sheds some light about the definition of "being in the closet".

In the current poll about "the closet", I noticed that the concept of "being in the closet" was somewhat fuzzy, and many people seem somewhat confused about what it means precisely.

Obviously I don't claim to be the one to know what it means exactly, since it's is mainmy a matter of appreciation, and inasmuch as I'm a no native english speaker, and would not even be able to give any accurate translation of this expression in french.

However it seems that being in the closet may be wrongly meant by quite a few CDers as the contrary of going out and about femme 24/24 7/7.

I don't think so. As for me, being in the closet means the necessity to keep secret all what you do femme and to hidden your femme stuff deeply in a secret place, even if your wife may know, or suspect or tolerate.

But I believe you can be OUT of the closet and FEEL NO NEED or HARDLY ANY NEED to go outside femme. You don't like that, that's all.

I mean : you are in the closet if you can almost never do openly what you would want to do. But if you do exactly what you want to do, with no strong limitations, the closet concept is no more for you.

[Carly D.]

I want to go out.. I want to go out, and that means go out everybody be damned I don't care.. but, I'm closeted.. and there is a feeling to me that I want this thing to remain a secret for me.. could be the excitement that it gives me knowing that I know something no one else knows.. a secret.. I know someone no one else in the family knows.. or do they know her?? am I out even though I'm not dressed?? hmmmm...

[Amy Hepker]

I have been 24/7 for almost 2 months now and I am still enjoying everyday being able to pick out my clothing for the day, getting up early to make sure my make up is perfect, I am having the time of my life being myself and not having to ly to myself or anyone else.

[Jenny Doolittle]

There is nothing better!! I was talked into tring on some things in a Dress Barn about 6 years ago by the salesgirl....I have never looked back. It was the most exilorating experiance of my Life!!

Sence then I have become very comfortable being Jenny,, even if I am 6 foot talll and have a deeper voice then most women. I still love the interaction of other women while out, and have made some wounderful friedns in differnt shops and botiques I frequeqent.

All I can say is, "Try it, U will love it!!!"

[Schatten Lupus]

I do want to go out. I just want to get a few more articles of clothing, and to work on my voice some more.

[Lois1234]

I wanted to go out, and not just to the back yard, for many years. About 1/2 year ago i just did it. Went to a mall on a weekday, figured that all the kids would be in school...well, the mall was packed but i went in anyways. It all worked out well, no snide remarks, no pointing and laughing. Most of it is all about attitude (i think Karen said that once) and your ability to just act and look like the rest of the ladies. I now go out fairly often, day or night, and life is great.

Lois

[curse within]

For a short time .....I thought I did ......Then came to my sences.. I am so happy I didn't it really wasn't the door I was ready to have opened.. To each their own I say...But becareful what you wish for because the lines in life live beside the the old fork in the road therory.. Take that wrong turn in life and make a decission based on it .. Is a life you will be branded to live here on out.. Ask yourself first are you ready for the world to know of you as a crossdresser? No matter the venture the risk is always there..

[Douglas27]

I think I would like to stay in the closet, but maybe some time later down the road I would like to try. I definanlty could never do it anywhere around here.

[sami1952]

I used to stay in the closet,but when i first met suzzie we made plans to go out with some other girls and let me tell that my first time out i felt like a big heavy weight had been taken of the chest.i was so excited and relief about my cding.i found ou that there are places where you can go and have a good time,just being yourself.I now know that i can go out and be myself as janie

[Vicki65]

No I dont.

Someone else said 'it could be dangerous and stupid' for her. I tend to agree. I have too much to lose, and very very little to gain - though I have briefly got out of the car while wearing boots / skirt when away from people, just to stretch my legs. And I have been outside briefly at night, but only on my own property and only for a few minutes.

Sitting watching TV or generally pottering about is enough for me TBH.

[Ashlee]

I'd love to be able to go out to clubs etc when they have t-friendly events. A few times a month would be fine with me to go out.

[Cathytg]

Yes, I do want to go out. It's a rush and a half for little while and then it calms down to simply feeling good. I don't want to fool anyone but I just want to be OK out there.

I ought to add that I go out quite rarely but, with my wonderful wife's help, I expect to be out there a bit more in the future.

[BonnieJG]

Yes I would love to go out for a walk, drive, park I don't think i would to to the mall or store, I would like just my time.
I have been around the house for 5yr and i think it's time maybe to go out :daydreaming:

[rickie121x]

For many years, Halloween was the only time I could go "out". Then came the BDSM clubs, and it was all right for me to go there - complete, well as far as I knew, acceptance. And since then, I go out occasionally, usually on my way to a BDSM club or party. It's a rush to go into a fast food or pizza place to pick up treats on my way to the party.

Sometimes after a party, a few of us will go out for a snack, everyone else ordinary and I am the only one dressed. All seems well on those occasions - I feel just fine with no concerns. Perhaps it is safety in numbers... even tho they are straight, I don't feel alone and vulnerable.

And occasionally I go out driving, and sometimes get out of the car to take a picture. But I have not gone shopping except twice when shopping for a hairpiece at wig stores. Then it seemed entirely appropriate - no hesitation or embarrassment at all.

My next "trip" will be to a beauty shop to get a trim for my long hair. I think I will probably wear heels, jeans and a vee neck sweater - very casual. Who notices a casually dressed woman anyway - unless she has great hair, is cute or lovely, or has a great body - none of which I align with! So I don't think I will worry.

Rickie: :heehee: :daydreaming:

[Amanda.D]

Debby,
YES I DO!!! I am slowly building the confidence and WILL go out
en-femme one day, soon.
Mandy

[Audra Sinclair]

The very first time I went out to a gay bar I walked up to the entrance at least 5 or 6 times and chickened out each time. Somewhere I found the courage and just did it. There was a girl inside the door checking ID and about had a cow. She looked at my ID, looked at me and said, nice top, and handed my ID back. I have never looked back from there.

I know I don't always pass but I don't care. It's all about attitude. Now I go to the mall shopping. Love VS. I have been out to several gay bars and friendly bars. I go out for dinnner. I have been to several regular bars with other people. Last week I was in a friendly bar and meet two GG's and their male friend. We spent the rest of the night bar hopping. I did not have a problem with anyone. In fact I was told by a GG she wised she had my figure.

Yes I am careful where I go and don't put myself in a situation I cannot handle. I cannot dress up and stay home. I need to be out and about and inact with other girls.

[Janet Bern]

Once you have gone out enfemme you will want to do it often. I have gone out about 5 times in the past year, shopping malls and lunch during the daytime. I feel that noone even looks at me twice and I am 6'3 but usually wear flats or 3/4 inch heels with pants. Most people are too busy to be distracted by you. I have looked but NEVER recognized a CD. So it must be easier than you think to pass. I go during the daytime and during the week when kids are in school and have had great experiences with SAs and waitresses when I have gone out. I usually dress in a long skirt or ladies pants and work on dresssing for about an hour before leaving the house.
Janet

[BeckyAnderson]

I absolutely want to get out as often as I can. It feels great to mix with the public and I often have an opportunity for conversation about crossdressing with people I've never met before. This is especially true for the club scene. I think each time I get into a conversation with someone that someone understands some or more about the crossdressing phenomenon than they new before.

[Edwina]

I have been out a few times to the supermarket but only after much gearing myself up to it. It was nerve racking but exhilarating at the same time. This all changed a couple of weeks ago when I was dressed at home and received a call to collect my amp which was in for repair. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to go as I was even though I was only known there in drab mode. I could not have dreamed of a better outcome and, although the lady receptionist "made" me she didn't recognise me until I presented the collection slip. She couldn't have been nicer and made my day. :)
:love:
Edwina

[Karren H]

Well just like i'm driven to crossdress.... I was also driven to go out.... first time when I was 16.... Not my fault and i have no control over it...

[Tracii G]

I'm with Karren on this one.
What drives me to dress drives me to go out simple as that.
I go to the grocery,book stores,dept stores and no one bats an eye.
I don't dress any different than any GG.Keep it modest and mainstream is my rule.
Attitude and female mannerisms are the key to passing IMO.
I'm going out tomorrow and shoot some outdoor pics just because I can.
You coming Karren?

[Karren H]

Be right over... if and only if my corset fits after eating all the turkey i plan tommorow!!! :)

[vivianann]

I go out enfemme everyday now, I love the freedom now to go out enfemme whenever I want to, I go out during the day now as Vivian, and alot of peaple treat me like Everything is normal, made alot of friends , it is really wonderful when a friend sees me in a store and says hi Vivian with a big hugs.
There is no way I am going back into the closet. there is nothing to fear, but fear itself. Get out of the closet and go out enfemme, I did.
Sometimes miss, I like the idea of a convention in Vegas where GG's go to find girly men, I would go there so fast that I would probably get pulled over for driving 120 mph to get there.

[Juanita O]

I would love to go out fully dressed but there is one problem, I would stick out like a sore thumb. I am 6'3" tall, I did go out dressed in vegas this summer ( pictures in my picture albums). I am also afraid being discovered, It should not make any difference because i am retired, but i need confidence in my self first.

[krissy]

i love your thinking you are so lucky to have such a wonderful wife i have been married for 26 years she cant stand me but we love each other i lkie the part of letting the sun hit her face

[Lisa Golightly]

I need to eat... :)

[Nicki B]

I would love to go out fully dressed but there is one problem, I would stick out like a sore thumb. I am 6'3" tall.

So'm I - and about 200lbs? Look in my album, there a few pics from Vegas in there, too? :)

[Kate Jennings]

There is most certainly a part of me that yearns to go out. "Out" has varying degrees of meaning however. I am content to take drives, hit ATM machines, talk the rare quick walk and sit out on the porch.

As for going to clubs, bars etc I have not done that, maybe one day but no burning desire. I have been to one "Femme Fever" discussion group at a private home here on Long Island that was fun as was the hour drive home. Halloween also provides the "cover" to go out and enjoy.

[marny]

me too hon!

[Helen Raines]

Becki; love your attitude and your pic!.I just hope to make them wonder..not know it's a man in a skirt.

[Sally2005]

Yes and it is part of the CD animal for me. Over the years, my desire has always been to go out, I was always thinking, could I do it? It took ages to find the nerve to actually do it. Halloween is a great first step and experience. You can go out and be out of the closet without being out...if you know what I mean. Going out in regular daylight at first is like a mind twister...you can't believe you have done it...you see everything the same eyes and after some time you almost forget you look different, but people see you differently. I'm not sure I'll want to go out forever, but I know I had to try it and it is definately a liberating experience.

[Teddie]

It's not so much "Do you actually want to go out?" But, that I'd love to be able to do the every day things as my girl self.

[gingerstevens]

i love to go out as "ginger". i am lucky as i am vertically challenged and stand only about 5'9" in heels. When i am in Denver, as i frequently am, i go out as ginger most evenings whether to grocery shop or to visit a club. i love being a woman!

[tanya1976]

Yeah definately, but only in the right circumstances i.e. crossdressing friendly bars etc. I am working up to this but I'm also slightly reticent as it will be taking crossdressing to another level for me. So far I've only managed a few drunken walks around the block :):o, which I really enjoyed so I guess I'll have to try it at least once, and sober! However I'm not really interested in trying to pass and venturing into day to day life dressed...

[Jess_cd32]

Eventualy I'd like to go out when I have everything down pat from the outfit to makeup. Kinda thinking would like to go out at night to a cd friendly club w/ a few other girls and just live it up and have a great time. Maybe in the future.

Not really into the idea of going out during the day to malls or anything like that though, might out of town but not locally.

[sfwarbonnet]

Yes, and I figure Las Vegas would be the ideal place to go out en femme for several days, as it’s distant enough that it is unlikely that I would be recognized and dining out with my wife as a woman would be a turn-on. Using a ladies restroom concerns me though.

[cindym5_04]

Do I want to go out?

Is someone asking me on a date here? LOL I don't think my wife would go for that, but thank you, I'm flattered. :-)

I've been out many-a-time as Cindy. There are times where I've enjoyed it and other times where I've felt like I've been pressured to dress and go out- it's those times that I lose a lot of desire to dress. I have a rebellious side to me and hate it when I'm told that I "have to" do things.

[Carole Cross]

I would like to go out, but I need to work on my makeup and buy a few more outfits first. I also need to get my back waxed as it is very hairy atm.
Hopefully next week I will go to a local transformation shop to get a proffesional makeover to see whether I could pass in public - it may give me the confidence to go out.

[pink femme]

I want to go out....I want the world to see a woman, not a 40 year sad schmuk who looks like a man in a dress :(

When I first went out at about 12, i was in my element, wonderful navy skirt, blouse and jacket. It was the most liberating experience of my life.

Closet is better than nothing but acceptance as a woman is everything :daydreaming:

[2b.Lauren]

I sure do. I have been thinking about and wanting to do this more and more each and everyday. I have a few things that I can wear. I have a pair of black slacks, and comfortable shoes. I also have a nice navy blue skirt. I am going to buy a new blouse today. What I am saying here is that I think this is my weekend to do it. I am going to visit my mother in Richmond Va where I grew up. I am staying at her house and she is not there because of being in a nursing home. I plan to go to a place that is TG, and Gay accepting and just hang out as Lauren. I do not have a wig so I will need to do a little extra work on hair. I am just planning on wearing light makeup and just really being me.

I guess what has sort of frightened me is that some of you ladies have reported problems as you have ventured out. I know that it can happen, and although I am not in any kind of denial of this I guess it just kind of hit me reading this thread that I need to be so careful, and gaurded. So I might now be a little more scared than I was earlier. I don't have anyone that can accompany right now. I have always wanted to do this. Everything in our life is a risk, and some as this one are maybe an unecessary risk, but life to me is short and I have got to live, to find myself expressing the real me more often. I don't know many people in Richmond anymore, so I would feel secure in not running into someone. I could not do it here because I am very known in my city and almost always run into someone I know when I am out and about at home. I guess my post has become TMI. I just felt the need to say I want to, and I think this might be my time!

So please wish me luck!
Lauren

[cindym5_04]

I sure do. I have been thinking about and wanting to do this more and more each and everyday. I have a few things that I can wear. I have a pair of black slacks, and comfortable shoes. I also have a nice navy blue skirt. I am going to buy a new blouse today. What I am saying here is that I think this is my weekend to do it. I am going to visit my mother in Richmond Va where I grew up. I am staying at her house and she is not there because of being in a nursing home. I plan to go to a place that is TG, and Gay accepting and just hang out as Lauren. I do not have a wig so I will need to do a little extra work on hair. I am just planning on wearing light makeup and just really being me.

I guess what has sort of frightened me is that some of you ladies have reported problems as you have ventured out. I know that it can happen, and although I am not in any kind of denial of this I guess it just kind of hit me reading this thread that I need to be so careful, and gaurded. So I might now be a little more scared than I was earlier. I don't have anyone that can accompany right now. I have always wanted to do this. Everything in our life is a risk, and some as this one are maybe an unecessary risk, but life to me is short and I have got to live, to find myself expressing the real me more often. I don't know many people in Richmond anymore, so I would feel secure in not running into someone. I could not do it here because I am very known in my city and almost always run into someone I know when I am out and about at home. I guess my post has become TMI. I just felt the need to say I want to, and I think this might be my time!

So please wish me luck!
Lauren


I wish my friend Tracy was still running around down in Richmond. She would've probably gone with you. That girl used to like to PARTY!

Good luck on your venture out this weekend. Take a cab to and from whatever bar you go to. That way you know while you're out, you'll have someone watching over you (the bouncers) as you're getting out of the cab and getting into it.

[Sam-antha]

Going out is a really simple thing to do. Get dressed, just like you do every time, make up somewhat, adjust the wig curl, get your shoes on and open the door and go.
There is no reason to "not have a place to go to" be it a club or shopping parade. People go out to see things, do things and whatever.
People "out there" do not have clothes just so, they are people going about their business and most of them are so well wrapped up in their lives to bother much about looking at you. If one of them does look at you it is only usually a glance in passing. Just like you do when you look at people in the street.
People do not notice you. I mean do you look at everyone in the street ?
~Samm
Ps, When you have opened that door and gone out through it, just keep going. The where does not matter. Just go and enjoy the freedom that you other self will have.
~S~
Pps, Give her a bit of outside freedom, it is tiring inside four walls.
~S
~S~

[charlie]

For awhile just dressing and looking in the mirror was enough. Then it seemed too much trouble to dress only to undress after finishing. So I started going out to clubs and minor shopping at night. Now, if I dress I'm going out, period. I've had great nights and bad nights when comments have hurt my feelings...yet if I dress I'm going out!

[sfwarbonnet]

Going out at a distant location seems ideal, especially if it offers the opportunity to fulfill your fantasies – like appearing en femme in public. Las Vegas seems appropriate, and I saw a program on the Travel channel about satisfying fantisies in sin city. It highlighted the thrill rides at the Stratosphere, the music studio at the Palms, the dolphin swim at the Mirage, the skydiving simulation, and the Zero-G and car racing experiences, but it didn’t mention a makeover boutique or going out en femme. Maybe that’s too routine, or not PC…

[Emma Chase]

I was sent an email from another local girl in my area to invite me to go out together dressed. I am not comfy yet in doing so as I have only dressed at home, I have been seen by about 5 people over the yesrs when dressed as Emma so its not like I have not been 'exposed' to other people so to speak but I feel I am not ready at this time to brave the big world's general public. When I am happy with makeup application and female mannorism's I might reconsider and step outside. Not sure I would say a word though! That would be one sure way of being read!

If I do it will partly be because of the 'girls' here who have posted their experiences for others like me to read and realise it can be fun :)

E

[cindym5_04]

I was sent an email from another local girl in my area to invite me to go out together dressed. I am not comfy yet in doing so as I have only dressed at home, I have been seen by about 5 people over the yesrs when dressed as Emma so its not like I have not been 'exposed' to other people so to speak but I feel I am not ready at this time to brave the big world's general public. When I am happy with makeup application and female mannorism's I might reconsider and step outside. Not sure I would say a word though! That would be one sure way of being read!

If I do it will partly be because of the 'girls' here who have posted their experiences for others like me to read and realise it can be fun :)

E

Well if that's really you in your avatar, you're completely gorgeous and have nothing to worry about. WOW!!

[Regina]

Yes i do!....went out last night,in the bitter cold for about three hours,which gave me a good excuse to by a winter coat. Since i am in the closet i have to make the most of my opportunities when i get them. From the very first time that i first fully dressed i have had the compulsion to go out, even if it is to walk around, can't explain why.



Regina

[2b.Lauren]

I mentioned that I had planned on going out as Lauren this Saturday, so I am going to post a thread in the out and about section. I must admit that I really did enjoy my night.

[Sarahwithanh11]

For a long time - years and years - I didn't want to go out. I was sure I wasn't passable, and was quite content to stay inside.

Then about a year ago I started wanting to go out. Not to a bar or club or anything, just outside and doing things like using the ATM, pumping gas, going to the mailbox.

But it's one of those things that once I started doing that, I wanted more. In the last few months I've started going places like Target and Wal-Mart. It sure makes boring shopping more fun!

And the strange thing is that once I got out I realized that I was fairly passable. Maybe not under close scrutiny, and my voice is not very good. But just being out there it's no problem, even though I'm 6-feet 215 and over 40. My approach is that I don't try to look gorgeous - just like a middle-aged lady. GGs don't put on their best to buy toilet paper at Wal-Mart and if they do they really stand out. I want to blend in.

Confidence, mannerisms, makeup and accessories all help. But once you start going out you'll look for more opportunities to do it again and again!

[happy2cd]

I could never pass, but love to take walks dressed. There is nothing like the feel of the wind blowing the clothes over your body, brushing a slip and skirt against your legs (even better with hose on), and having your blouse flutter around while you walk. Walking in the rain is good too...

At any rate, you can't experience those feelings in a closet, so I will undoubtedly continue looking for opportunities to step outside the house en femme.

The only person I would like to be with while dressed, is my wife, but as of yet she won't tolerate that. Because the only other feeling you can't get in a closet is the feeling of acceptance that a hug can bring.

That is my goal at this point.

To see if my wife will at least give me one hug while I am dressed.

We shall see...

Thanks for all the talking that takes place here. And thanks for letting me talk.

[SBryder]

I'm a bit torn on the whole going out thing... On one hand I'd love to become more comfortable going out. So far I've only gone out dressed to wal-mart, the atm, or to get gas... things that don't really require human interaction :(

On the other hand, what would I do...! I'm such a bore, I've never been clubbing or anything. I suppose I could go to movies or something, but I'd rather do something where I'm more in the open. I couldn't do any of that alone though cause I'm just too shy and have little confidence in my appearance. I'd need someone to come and support me to do anything like that :/

[Airazor]

I've only left the house once or twice, and it was in the middle of the night, and I didn't really go anywhere or do anything. I just drove around in my car for a while. It was kind of nice, but really rather unremarkable. Lately though I've been kind of wanting to go out and do something and interact with people. I know somewhere I could go, and even someone I might be able to go with, but it's on the back burner for now.

[stephaniesacd]

I'm still very new and have ALOT of work to do before I'm ready to go out. But ultimately I'd love to be able to go out and about as Stephanie.I'm quite comfortable in my little closet but find myself easing towards the door more and more every day.

[StephanieT]

Yes I do really want to go out. I have been challenging myself everytime I get a chance to get out. Today it was shopping, Going through the drive-up at McDonalds and finally going into the womens restroom at Kohls. Yesterday it was taking a chance at the liquor store. I always like to challenge myself by going 1 step beyond my confort zone. The thing I am discovering is if you blend in like a real GG and take the extra steps like painting your nails, having on jewelry and modest makeup, nobody even notices you even wearing heels. I am 6'4" in heels and still I don't get more looks than any other tall girl and yes there are more than you think. Lately I have noticed a lot of GG taller than I am in male mode. I may not be the cutest girl out there but I am figuring out how to blend in. The best part is it is fun.

[Billie Jean]

Yes but not passable with my beard but am willing to go out and let the world see my fashion sense. I look like an older bearded lady. I shaved for halloween a couple of years to go but my face was white and ruff. Billie Jean

[sfwarbonnet]

Dressing at home is OK. and it is a good way to get a wife used to seeing you as a woman. I now wear panties, pantyhose, a slip and a dress almost every evening, but I underdress when we go out now. I want to add a bra, but it needs to be a necessary evolution rather than only a desired step change.

The first time I went out en femme was in daylight on a business trip. I had gotten lingerie, pantyhose, shoes, earrings. and a sleeveless yellow dress locally. I had a transformation and changed to femme clothes at the salon. Afterward I walked on the main drag. I remember going shopping and to a theater there, and then driving back to the hotel. I was real nervous going out as a woman, but it was super and that experience made me want to go out en femme again.

Subsequently I have been en femme with my wife at Halloween several times, but once when I put her hand under my skirt on the way home and climbed into bed still wearing lingerie so she could get-in-my-panties, she asked me to remove the "girl things" before we had sex.

Until recently, she didn’t want to see me wearing femme clothes, so it was a significant step when she saw me wearing panties, a slip, thigh high nylons and a garter belt in our hotel room on a trip last year. I was “underdressing” when we were in public though. Wearing panties, pantyhose, and a sip at home in the evening is now becoming “natural”, but she still doesn’t want me to go out as a female and use a public ladies restroom. She would also balk if I suggested wearing a skirt, bra, wig, earrings, nail polish, and make-up. (I want to do that, and I’m pushing toward it!)

A necessary criterion seems to be that she is OK going out with you as a “girl”. I am focusing on our vacations to distant locations so I am not likely to be recognized. and going out en femme with her and dining while presenting as a female would be a big turn-on. However, my wife now wants me to be the "man" that she married, but her presentation is masculine – no make up, skirts, nylons. or sexy lingerie – it seems that she doesn’t want to dress like a woman but I do, so appearing with her as a woman is a challenge. I hope that I wear her down before I wear out!

[Jodi Lynn]

I have been out a few times to a local GLBT bar, and had a great time. It is very exciting to be out with other girls and having a good time. One time I even got up the nerve to go out in the day light, went to see the girl I got my wig from. But for the most part I am very much in the closet and dressing at home. My wife does know about Jodi, but she doesn't like it at all. So I guess I will be in the closet for someime to come.

[XdresserAshley]

I wish I could go out more but I don't have enough stuff to pull it off. I just met a girl online through craigslist who helped her exboyfriend crossdress and she just moved into the area for college. She is excited to talk to me online and give me tips and ideas! So maybe someday I'll be going out all the time.

:<3: Ashley :<3:

[Sarah Martin]

Love going out dressed when the occasion demands, but usually not bothered.

[sfwarbonnet]

Would like to go out enfemme. It would need to be at a distant location though, so it would be unlikely that I would be recognized. Las Vegas seems ideal, and I hear there is a transformation boutique within "scooter range" of the Strip. Would have to get my wife to “buy in” though, as she is now opposed to my impersonating a female in public and using a womens restroom. Perhaps a costume contest, like that at the Star Trek con would provide an “excuse”. I’ve heard there was a female impersonator in an episode; anyone know what series and episode?

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Do I actually want to go out ? YES, YES, YES !!!!

JoAnne Wheeler

[Sharon B.]

For a long time I have wanted to go out and until recently the only time I have gone out is for a drive or to the post office after hours.
Yes it is secure to stay home and being in the closet but for all of the money I have spent on clothes, heels and makeup, I want to start going out.
Hopefully I will find the courage to leave here as a woman, go shopping as a woman and start to enjoy life as a woman I desire to be.

[Regina]

I've got to go out...I can't explain it, the second time I completely dressed I went out, I didn't go far I just wanted to out to see how i could walk and carry myself dressed, I ended up at an office park so I could look at my reflection in the glass (at night) As I became more confident at night I started going out during the day. Passed another milestone this weekend, I have found a very accepting small town in Ohio (Yellow Springs) I walked in the Post Office and mailed some letters and then got my nerve up and walked into the Library, found some books and magazines sat down in a chair and read for an hour or so. People walked by and paid me no attention, when I walked out I went out the main entrance one of the Librarians glanced at me in the hallway I looked at him and smiled.....and that was it!.....truly a great day. Thanks to the personal experiences that are on this forum it has motivated me to accomplish what I did this weekend. Now to walk down through the center of town.


Regina

[Deborah Jane]

On 18-1-2009 i had my first trip out in daylight to a garden centre.

I went out with Sheila [my fiancee], Sandra and Nigella and i thoroughly enjoyed myself :)

[tricia_uktv]

If you want fun you go out. And I want fun!

[Kelli Michelle]

OMG yes, I love going out. Not only does it give me time to work on my feminine skills, but it's real life answers that I get. If I ask someone how does this skirt look, or is my make-up ok, I get real answers---it's not just me trying to make a decision about myself.

I also have met some wonderful people, men and women, who only know me as Kelli, can only picture me that way, and are very,very accepting. For me, once I started going out dressed, there was no turning back. :thumbsup:

[JODINYCTV]

The incredible rush that accompanies going out as a gal cannot be equaled in any other sense. Putting ones femme side on display is at times sensual overload, albeit an overload I cannot get enough of.

As I was introduced to full out dressing by a GG who realized I needed to be a part time girl, my situation hardly mirrors that of most of the girls here, but it may prove instructive.

After she dolled me all up completely for the first time, smoothly shaven and dressed to perfection, it was to accompany her to a NYC transvestite bar (the term transgendered if it existed, was certainly not in common usage lo those many decades ago).

There I was, first time totally en femme and stepping out, but with a partner who was hardly a neophyte in the scene. Luckily I made a somewhat passable girl so I thought hey, if I pull this off, it could be fun. And it sure was.

Being accepted and treated as a lady, having GG’s, guys and gals like me fawning over me, complimenting me, having a guy buy me a drink, being the game instead of the hunter, was quite the rush. Such a rush that I wanted more, and all these years later, still do.

I realize many of you probably have no one to assist you in breaking out of the closet, have first time jitters, fear being ‘read’, may not be very passable or at all passable, and I do understand.

Now, as a 50 plus guy, I’ll hardly fool anyone on a bright sunny day, no less in a well lit room, yet I still put Jodi on display whenever I can.

Yes, I admit to needing to look sexy in public, I like the attention and the compliments that fortunately surpass the snickers and nasty comments one can also expect in public.

Bottom Line time gals: If you can do it, going out as your gal self is an experience every crossdresser MUST have a least once, if not regularly.

Let your gal self be as social as she can be. There are lots of great people, admirers and supporters, and perhaps lovers out there to meet, don’t deprive yourself of getting to meet them and making friends, perhaps some serious life long ones as I have been fortunate enough to do!




MY crappy page & pics: http://profiles.aim.com/JodiNYCTV

[Emily Anderson]

Well Deborah, there are times I have wanted to go out, especially when I was younger, but these days I'm quite happy to stay at home.

Having said that, given the choice to do it all over again, I would probably have gone out more in the days when I could have passed as sexy young vixen.

These days, I'm just an old tart. :)

[Nicki B]

Do I actually want to go out ? YES, YES, YES !!!!

JoAnne Wheeler

What do you need, so that you can?

[michellebesweet]

Don't go out because you see all the talk about it. It took me a while before I had enough confidence to go out in public. You must be prepared before you go out in public. You must be confident that you are ready. Do it for yourself, no one else. What I did also, is sat in a mall for a few hours one day and watched GG's walk by and took notice of style, walking, manner, gestures, shoes, makeup, and what ever I could to make sure I was going to be one of the girls, just like any other woman shopping in the mall. You really dont need to speak to anyone, and if you do, just talk very low and soft. I is a good feeling to be out in public, but you must do it for you.

[sfwarbonnet]

Don't go out because you see all the talk about it. It took me a while before I had enough confidence to go out in public. You must be prepared before you go out in public. You must be confident that you are ready. Do it for yourself, no one else. What I did also, is sat in a mall for a few hours one day and watched GG's walk by and took notice of style, walking, manner, gestures, shoes, makeup, and what ever I could to make sure I was going to be one of the girls, just like any other woman shopping in the mall. You really dont need to speak to anyone, and if you do, just talk very low and soft. I is a good feeling to be out in public, but you must do it for you.

Yes, do it for you but going out enfemme comfortably is often the goal (I know it is for me). However, dress to blend in; that is, dress for your age, body type, and emulate GGs in what they are wearing, their mannerisms, be prepared to use the ladies restroom, and PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. Dressing at home can either be for fantasy or practice. In the former mode, a CD can wear short skirts and sexy dresses that might not be suitable attire “out” to make wearing women’s clothes “natural”. However, if practicing to go “out” as a woman, avoid celebrity clothes and practice dressing and wearing makeup to blend in.

[kristinacd55]

I would love to......maybe someday!! :)

[Cathytg]

I love to go out although I rarely do it. It's a thrill and feels so - well - validating. There I am out there with other folks who seem as normal as rain in New England.

But, if it is about being just like anyone else, why am I so worried about being read? I shouldn't care. I just want to be left alone to be as normal seeming as I am in drab. In that respect, "passing"ought to be a desire but a requirement. But I find that I am clinging to my hope that I look like any other woman and that I am passing perfectly. I will never be able to do that. Therefore, I love to go out but I am stressed when I do. Makes very little sense to me.

Oh, me; wherefore art me?

[sfwarbonnet]

I would love to......maybe someday!! :)
I definitely want to go “out” with my wife as a woman, but now she is opposed to my impersonating a female. However, I am trying to “soften” her position. I often wear uncovered pantyhose and a slip at home in the evening. She seems to have gotten accustomed to that. Now, I have on a bra too. Soon I will wear it when she’s home. (I may have to get “caught” first.) Then light make-up, nail polish, breastforms, and a wig at home. Then “out” with her, probably away from our home town…

[Cheryl T]

I ALWAYS wanted to go out. Now that I do, I look forward to every opportunity to do so, especially since my spouse is so accepting and accompanies me everywhere.

As my signature says....
"Closets are for clothes"

[Helen 2]

Our 'dont ask, dont tell' arrangement (she has known about my dressing since before we married 30 years ago) allows me to dress and go out when she's not around.

Last outing en femme was
- Starbucks
- Nordstrom Rack
- Casino, where I sat at a table and played blackjack for 2 hours
- Shopping mall en route back from casino.

Have I been read? Surely. But, I dress well, conservatively, and have high confidence, so I'm good.

Shopping on the way back from the casino I bought a skirt and sweater set at a Macy's and the SA who attended me was wonderful....let me use the ladies dressing room, found me a skirt a size larger when the first one was too tight and not only complimented me on my choices and how I looked in them but on my -as she said- 'valor'. Made my day.....

[Honey]

My first meeting I went and got makeup professionally done, so I didn't want to try and get dressed after the makeup - the meeting was 2 hours after the makeup, so met up with another girl (as well as WHalo) and we went to dinner.

I was fearing meeting anyone - and as I parked the car these Asians came and asked if they had to pay to park here, well I thought I was going to die, but I handled it.

Went for tea, and then to the meeting, wasn't really worried what people thought after that.

Must admit though, it still scares me in a small way. Seeing Honey in the mirror though does raise my confidence. I think I will take more smaller steps before something like shopping as Honey, or going to a mall etc.