This won't make me popular but

[Kris Vasquez]

This is tooo good. Dressing, of course. I am having a hard time not feeling guilty. Is it just me or does anyone else find this selfish?

[Karren H]

Used to feel guilty... and ashame.... but once I figure out that what I loved wasn't wrong and it was part of me and wasn't going away... everything changed and crossdressing became FUN!!! What it should be!!! :)

[Ashlyee Paige]

No reason to feel guilty, unless you are stealing clothes that you wear, then that is a reason, but if you have your own no reason to feel guilty, you are not doing anything wrong. Its not a crime and does not harm anyone.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Ashamed or Guilty? NEVER!!!!

Its too much fun!!

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[Ronni Seymour]

Like Karen, I also struggled with guilt and shame, but I've worked through it and completely enjoy myself now. What are we doing wrong???

:hf:

[Mary Morgan]

How can you call this selfish when so many of us have denied ourselves for the sake of family and friends? Selfish is putting yourself first in everything you do. I'm not that way, and from all I have read here, neither are my sisters.

[jina]

How can you call this selfish when so many of us have denied ourselves for the sake of family and friends? Selfish is putting yourself first in everything you do. I'm not that way, and from all I have read here, neither are my sisters.

What an outstanding point ! Thanks :)

[Maria2222]

This is tooo good. Dressing, of course. I am having a hard time not feeling guilty. Is it just me or does anyone else find this selfish?

Why should enjoying something that is a naturally born part of you make you guilty? Enjoy being yourself.

[Nicole Erin]

Hey Chrisim, a couple points -
I don't know if it is "selfish". The only time it could maybe be considered such is if you have kids in school and would risk their rep for the sake of dressing and going out carelessly. Anyone who is NOT your under-18 kid has their OWN life. So no it aint selfish.

But the guilt thing - It comes and goes. Sometimes I get that way thinking "My gyod, is this really what I have become?"

Last - don't advertise your guilt or feeling of selfish too much cause inevidably, some non-CD will come along and want to give you crap or tell you how to live. THEN a few select people on here, who know who they are, will post "I agree 100%" like they do EVERY time a CD gets their butt chewed. You know like who's side are they on?

[Kris Vasquez]

Thank you all for expressing your feelings.

[Christina Horton]

This is tooo good. Dressing, of course. I am having a hard time not feeling guilty. Is it just me or does anyone else find this selfish?

What the HELL "guilt, Selfish" NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO did I say NO well NO. I never did feel this way, I can see why some people might. You have no right to feel that way. You have the right to feel good about yourself you have right to be happy. If you can not aford to be happy WE will help you to be happy, With our support. If you need us pm us or me. I drive truck so If I don't get back to you soon don't be down HUGGS :hugs::canada:

[CD Susan]

There is no reason to feel guilty or ashamed about crossdressing. Of course you have to take into consideration the feelings of your loved ones and how it affects them. Crossdressing is a harmless pastime if done properly. I sure don't feel guilty about doing something that is a part of who I am.

[haapykat]

my hubby is the CDer and he feels guilty (so he says) Do not feel guilty this is for you that is true but when has taking care of yourself been selfish? You deserve to be who you are with no guilt whatsoever

[Mollyanne]

Personally I think WE all felt guilty at one time or another like when we started but the only guilt one feels is the guilt we imagine!!!! Yes I felt guilty also but now the only guilt I feel is when I see a pair of heels that don't come in my size!!!!

:love: Mollyanne

[Jonianne]

As children, many of us were programed to believe that we do not deserve to feel good about ourselves, thereby causing a feeling of guilt when we do. When I finally came to full self-acceptance and OK'ness with myself, the guilt and shame left and never returned. I was the one that was making me feel bad about myself, no one else was. As long as we fulfill our other responsibilities, taking care of ourselves is not being selfish.

[deja true]

Guilty pleasures, hun?

As long as we're not hurting anyone else, our pleasures are not anything to beat ourselves up about...

In fact, anything that makes you feel better about yourself and the world around you is a blessing, not a punishment! :)

Self love and self appreciation beats self hate every time!

[Kate Simmons]

Not sure about the being selfish aspect. I do know that the day I stopped taking myself so seriously is the day it started becoming fun.:)

[Slip Affinity]

I used to feel guilty about my dressing. Not anymore ... I love it and it feels quite natural now. However, I do confine it to the house or the occasional venture out on the back deck.

[WomanAtHeart4]

Chrisim,
Thanks for the post and your honesty.
I know the feelings of feeling guilty and being ashamed of stealing time, not sharing my cd emotions, hiding part of my life, keeping my desires from my loved ones. If cding were socially right - I would do it in full light of day, in the view of family, friends and co-workers. Why do I have to hide it?
Well... the problem with cding:
1) it is not socially acceptable in majority of circles.
2) Many loved ones, family members cannot understand, accept or tolerate cding.
3) I really believe cding is like a gene disorder at birth. I believe CDers received a extra female gene of the opposite sex. Though we are born male, we have this female gene that draws us to desire to be a woman.
4) Viewing cding from #3, I can now understand why I cannot quit cding. Its not as simple as washing it off or willing it off or that I am weak. I can and have purged too many times to count. I have tried religion, exercise, psycho analysis; but I cannot will this extra gene out of my body. I have found that from fighting and not accepting and feeling guilty, is like blaming myself for having blue eyes. No - I was born with blue eyes, just like cding. This cd gene thing might sound like a cop out of my own responsibilities on how I think and act, but my arguement is this cd thing is really deep inside me/us. Its not some fad I picked up from seeing a bra ad in my youth. So, the next and final step; accept cding in your own possible way within your own environmental confines. I have found how to accept and enjoy cding in my own possible way.
Hope this helps. Sorry for the length.
Only love,
Stephanie

[Sheila]

I see no need for you to feel guilty, unless of course you have reson to feel that way (not telling your parnter, borrowing clothes without permission etc)

But for Dressing nope no reason to feel guilty about that at all:hugs:

[battybattybats]

A really good way of measuring selfishness is as follows:

If it only serves you but harms no-one else and denies no-one else anything it's erfectly fine. Like baking yourself cookies of a type no-one else eats.

If it only serves the self and an opportunity to be generous with no expectation of return is missed then it's self-centered but still not bad. It's like baking yourself cookies and eating them yourself cause you made them for yourself when no-one is prevented from baking their own cookies.

Now for it to be selfish others must suffer unfairly for your own benefit. So someone else must bake the cookies, then you must steal some or demand more than half of them or take them out of the oven before they were done so they are ruined so you can heat up your lasagna as you didnt want to use the microwave.

Now some might say that any crossdressing is selfish. But thats like saying that someone who likes choc chip cookies but whose partner only likes almond cookies baking 5 choc-chip cookies and 10 almond cookies is selfish. It's plain nonsense. Asking someone to give up choc-chip cookies because they themselves dont like it would be the truly selfish act.

So you see it would be very difficult for crossdressing to be selfish, possible but difficult. Borrowing a partners clothes without asking and stretching them out of shape while objecting to the partners doing likewise would count for example.

But most crossdressing is not even self-centred! And any crossdresser should be able to crossdress without being selfish, even if their partner hates them crossdressing its not neccessarily being selfish to do so.

[TGMarla]

I used to feel guilty about it for some unknown reason, but I buried the guilt a long time ago. As for the selfish part, a lot of CDs pursue their pleasures at the expense of other things they need to pay attention to, like relationships, responsibilities, and family. But if one has a mind to prioritize correctly, it can be much less selfish, too.

So whereas I might have once felt this way, I really don't anymore. Not at all. If anything, society the way it is is selfish for not tolerating this much more than it does.