Nervous for No Reason

[gillian1968]

Hi Girls,

I had a great experience last week I just had to share - you hear this from time to time on the board here, but I just experienced it for the first time myself.

I've been looking for a pair of more practical shoes to wear with some clothes my wife got me for my birthday (yay!) - just some women's jeans and a few tops, but casual clothes we could wear out without standing out.

We went into a few shoe stores, but sizes were hard to gauge and we finally went into a Payless shoes (which is nicely organized by size so you can go to the right section and see all the shoes in one place that have any chance of fitting you). There was only one other customer in the store in another area, and two sales associates. I was presenting as a guy (still too chicken to go out as a girl yet).

I decided to start trying on shoes (first time ever in public!) and found a pair that I liked. The sales associate passed by a couple times to check to see if we needed help, it was so obvious we were buying for me, but not a word was said, she was just trying to be helpful.

I felt a little nervous though and ended up rushing a bit and didn't notice until I got home that when really walking around my heel popped out. So we had to go back.

The next night we headed back out, the store was still not busy but we had our new puppy so my wife stayed in the car with her and I went in on my own (!). The same girl was there and I mentioned that the shoes we bought yesterday didn't fit quite right, and she asked if I wanted to try another size on - I said yes (!) and tried on the 10W but they were too tight. I found a pair of heel grips and we chatted again at the counter, she mentioned they work well for her and I should try them.

The whole experience was just so amazingly cool. She didn't care, just wanted to help and make sure I made the right purchase. I realize that things may not work out so well for everyone, or for me every time, but I felt like such a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Like I can finally be a bit more me when out in public. And the only barrier I've found so far was my own imagination.

My wife and I talked a little more about going out in public, I can tell she's more nervous than I am about it now so we're going to take a few baby steps and see where it leads us.

[Janie Gunn]

Tasha, thats great that you had such a good shopping experience. Its quite encouraging when you find some really nice, helpful S.A.'s in the stores, isnt it.

In a particular shoe store that I now shop fairly regulary at, its like having a goup of admirers, they are all so nice to me (4 S.A.'s), especially one of them (who works part time at another store that I shop at), gets quite excited when she sees me walk in. She said today how she has told the other girls that I'm 'her special customer'. (I think I'll probably ask her out at some point)!

Janie

[Holly]

Tasha, the title of your thread tells it all. Most sales people want nothing more than to make the customer happy... period. And even out among the general population, most folks will not bother you if you don't bother them first. I hope your wife will accompany you when out as much as she is comfortable doing so as seeing with her own eyes that people aren't running off into the night screaming will help her comfort level as well. Best wishes.

[Sonia Greene]

Yes Holly, if you don't bother people, generally, they won't bother you either.......that's SO true.

[TGMarla]

Way cool. I wish you and your wife the best, and I hope your future endeavors with each other go well.

[CD Susan]

Hi Tasha, very nice story. Thanks for sharing it with us. I think that you will discover that this feeling of being nervous will eventually fade away. I have been buying womens clothes for many years and and enjoy doing it. I have never had a problem with a SA. Usually they are very helpful. After all thier job is to make the customer feel at ease and to assist in making a sale for the store. That is all they care about.

[Brandiwvr]

hi sisters, my take is go and doit, i am nown at all my local thrift stores and alot of regular stores. remember when we are late in life, we must say im glad i tryied that. not i shoulda. i have never been turned down at a cash register...

[Christina Horton]

I to was nervous when shopping in drab. But like you I found all the SA just wanted to just help. One place I would o to buy Eveing gowns I told them that my girl friend was the same size and wanted me to pick out the dress for her. They of course did not buy that , but I did not know that untlill I told them after I had bought me frist dress from them That I wad a cd. Your pic is great you look wonderfull very pretty. You look much better then me. I think the only thing you need to do would be to work on your voice and movement walk and be FEM. but your look is very pretty. I think you and your lovley WIFE will be just fine going out. Have fun HUGGS. and give a great big HUGG to that wonderfull Wife of yours . YOUR SO LUCKY.DUCKY. IN THE MUCKY. LOL. :hugs: :canada:

[Tracii G]

I find the SA's very helpful just tell them what you are looking for.Don't be scared be confident they don't bite.
Like Janie says once they get to know you they kind of consider you their "special" customer.Have fun with it.
I bought some knee length boots recently(approx4 in heels)The older lady asked are these for your wife I told here no for me I CD she said OH! what outfit are you going to wear?She didn't seem to have a problem with me at all.

[gillian1968]

Thanks for the encouragement girls, Christina W you hit the nail on the head for me - my voice and movement are so totally GUY! (yup, they just yell that right out!) I might do OK as a human statue, but I feel like a 3 year old girl in a 40 year old body - all awkward and tripping over everything.

One thing I can say for sure, the next few years for me are going to be "interesting" as I work all this out...