need some sisterly advice

[Yvette_K]

Hi Ladies, I am 42 and have been dressing since I was very young. My dressing had been mostly off and on for all these years. Now I am free after a long marriage and have a lot more time to express myself. I have always loved the feeling I get when I am dressed and am ready to broaden my horizons. I have a few dresses, skirts, bras, panties etc. I have a couple of cheap wigs that I don't really like. I always dream of having a makeover and buying myself some nicer things and have been putting a little $ back for a shopping spree. It seems that whenever I go shopping I always become paranoid and never get all the things I need. I guess I am asking for advice on building a nice wardrobe and encouragement from those who have taken the plunge. How can I find the right wig that will look the best for me? I have come to terms that my dressing is okay because I know I am not hurting anyone so I just need that added push in the right direction to become the woman that I want to be(sometimes). I appreciate this site so much and want to thank everyone for keeping things positive here. I really want to be a part of it and to have a pic posted but I want my picture to look good and to fit the way I feel as a lady. So far I have'nt been able to find the look that is best for me. Thanks alot,
Love, Yvette

[Sigrid]

Yvette,

First I'd loose the cheap wigs and find a nice one that really suits your face. My first wig was a cheap costume wig which put me off of wigs altogether for several years. You can find good ones on line or go to a local wig salon and try on several. I recommend the latter. You'll pay more for it but you can be certain that the style and color will suit you... take note of other styles and colors that you like during the fitting, you can get these online latter.

I just learned a great lesson about clothes shopping just yesterday... I was walking by an upscale boutique near where I live and saw a skirt in the window - it was the exact same skirt I picked up at Ross two weeks ago for $15. I'm certain it would have been priced $50 or more in the boutiqe.

Have fun!

~Sigrid

[Ava Mouse]

Yvette,

First, relax, I've been where you are, so I know EXACTLY how you feel. And you're right, you're hurting no one, so dump that guilt and promise yourself to have some harmless fun.

Next, get up the courage and visit local wig shops in your area. I have one near work that sells wigs for about $45 each, good wigs, brand name wigs. Get up the courage to try them on at the shop and find the right look for you. The right wig will make more of a difference than the best makeup job. DO take the time to experiment with different looks, shapes, colors, lengths, etc. You'll be nervous as hell, but you won't end up buying a wig that looks bad. Consider it initiation! ;)

BANGS are the most important thing for us CD's. Bangs hide our cro-magnun eyebrows and foreheads, and make our noses and chins look smaller. The length of the curl is VERY important, as it must not accentuate our male features. The right curl will bring out feminine features.

Your best bet is to find another CD here, local to you. Most of us who are out, are more than happy to help new gals learn the little secrets women keep... Have them measure you and help you find things quicker in stores. If not, grab a catalog and measure yourself. It's always fun to have an excuse to dress up, right? :D

Believe me, having local crossdressing friends who know the ropes is a great way to grow in this socially unacceptable hobby. Have them go with you to get a wig and help you pick the right ones, too.

I've been shopping for at least 15 years. At first, I had a success rate of about 50% on sizes, but now I'm about 99%, despite what the tag says. The more you shop, the better you'll get, which helps in the cheaper consignment shops.

You're adventure is just starting, enjoy it! Fear not, it gets more fun!

[GypsyKaren]

Yes, the best thing you can do is to go to a wig shop and try on different styles and colors. I did that after buying my first wig on-line and it really helped quite a lot. I found the perfect one that way. And don't worry, the clerks could care less about why you're there.

[Kimberly]

Shopping is hard, and the comfort in shopping will only come with time. Like you, I just need to get in there and SHOP!

good luck, girl ;)

[Inredsatin]

Yvette,
Like others have said call a wig salon and see if they are CD friendly. I did and when I went there the owner took me to the back and we had a private fitting. I could see what i liked and what looked good on me. Granted I paid a little more for the wig I got but it was well worth the money I spent. One thing to remember is a cheap wig looks like a cheap wig.
As for clothes... I frequently go to our local thrift store and buy clothes.. I got a whole closet full of clothes and didnt spend but maybe $100 dollars. Most things were less than 5 dollars each. All you need to know is what size you wear as they dont have dressing rooms to try them on.
Hope this helps and good luck,
Brenda

[Amelie]

Hi Yvette

As for wigs, look for females that have similar facial features to you, and see what kind of hairstyles they have. If you see a GG with your features and she has a nice hair-style, then this style or something close to it might work for you.
I agree, that some higher priced wigs look better than cheaper ones. But in the begining, try some cheaper wigs just to see what style would look good on you, then buy better ones.

For me, I only buy cheap wigs, I find that some of them are quite good. once you get the hang of it, you will be able to tell if a wig is right for you, despite the price of the wig.

Clothes, just find what you like, you can't go wrong with your taste in clothes, you will be wearing them, so pick something you like.
Amelie

[Stlalice]

Yvette,

I would go with the advice that several of the others have given in this thread - call up local wig shops and ask if they are CD/TG/TS friendly - most are. Plan on buying a good quality wig that suits your facial features and on spending anywhere from $100 to 300. For your first time around go with synthetic hair - human hair wigs are VERY expensive and require styling skills that you will only learn with time. Lots of time. If you can stand to do so, go dressed and with your makeup done as well as you can. One of your existing wigs will do for the trip there. While you are there have the shop do any custom styling or trims on your purchase so that it looks right. Also make sure that you buy a good headform to store the wig on. Also get a supply of wig shampoo and conditioners - nothing is less appealing than a wig that smells of stale sweat and shows signs of makeup that has worked off your face. Also, a synthetic hair wig will when it drys return to its original style with a bit of brushing - the hair has a bit of "memory" to it. One other thing - if you wear the wig a lot it is worthwhile to have two of them - wear them in rotation and you can always have one clean and ready to go. Go for it girl and have fun!

[Yvette_K]

Thanks a lot girls for all the advice, I knew I could count on you. I am going to get out this weekend and see what all I can find. I won't be satisfied until I have reached that perfect look for me and I am going to go for it!!!!!
Yvette

[ronna]

If you can't grow your own hair long then a wig is the best bet.
But if you can, you can cut, color and style it any way you want, or tie it back or even tuck it up into your hat if you like.

This coming from me, who hasn't been able to grow hair since I was a teen!

[tekla west]

I love the second hand stores, which in SF are very good. Its a good way to try on lots of stuff. We all have things we would LOVE to wear, but perhaps they are not the best choice for our body, or color, or whatever.

love, tekla

[Sweet Susan]

Getting a good wig is such an important step, I cannot recommend it enough.

As for building your wardrobe, you might as well start out slowly. I recommend going to a Macy's or other mid-level department store. Go to their close out racks, and buy a couple of nice dresses, a skirt and blouse set.

I don't know where you live, but around my area we have several discount houses that are like warehouses where you can buy women's clothes rather cheap, shoes, etc. Virtually all of the clothes are not current styles, but who gives a rip about that.

If you buy moderately designed clothes they will be useable for years. If you want to be fashionable, you need to be a guy, cuz fashionable women's clothes can break the bank. Ask anybody who got a divorce over a credit card! Go to a Nordstrom Rack, if you have one, as you can get some great deals and nice clothes, shoes, etc.

[ronna]

Sweet Susan always has such good advice, you should listen to her, girls.
I got a wig but didn't think about styling it until I saw how unnatural it looked.
There's a good reason why girls spend so much time on their hair.
The clothes are just a part of it!