Have they figured me out at work? How do I find out?

[StephanieCD]

A while back I posted in horror when a bitchy coworker caught me with eyeliner gunk in the corner of my eye one morning...

She has since made several comments, oddly, about shoe sizes and me fitting into "her shoes". Now, it works into the situation - because my boss is grooming me to be able to do her job and she feels threatened. BUT some of the comments are... not hurtful in any way - more... um... a tip of the hat, if you will. ALMOST like she has figured it out and is ok with it. Then again - she's weird... she noticed that I noticed her SIZE TWO feet... so maybe she's figured it out? She has led a full and adventurous life - it's possible she knows a CD or something... maybe. We need a secret handshake! ;)

On the flip side of the coin... the other two girls that were there when the eyeliner was discovered (don't think they noticed though)... they have actively mocked crossdressing many times to me - one offered me her Avon catalog but then said "here's the guy section, I'm pretty sure you're not gonna buy yourself any lingerie or makeup" and then started making jokes about it. Another made a comment about how much I noticed about her wedding dress when she brought it in - and made a crack about guys in dresses. It comes up all the time. Today, they made a point of showing me their new nails (I comment when I notice they get them done - isn't it nice to do that?). One said the other didn't know anything about it and I started answering her questions until I realized they were looking at me like "how's he know" so I said "my ex got hers done a lot"... one of the girls said "I wonder what they'd say if you just went in and asked them to do your nails?

I said "my money's just as good as yours" ;)


Anyway... if you feel like there are growing numbers of comments about CDing around you - how do you find out if it's your imagination? Without giving yourself up? I imagine I'm being paranoid... but - if only there was a way to find out if they were all talking about the weird crossdresser guy when I leave the room, ya know? There are only like 7 of us that work there, too...

I'm so paranoid about it.

[CharleneCD]

Stephanie,
Im not the most experienced to be advising on this but.. Maybe they suspect maybe they dont. The only ways I can think of to be sure is outright tell them and then you know they know :D . Or more realisticly next time you think they are hinting at you go slightly indignant and say " You dont think Im a crossdresser do you?". See what kind of response you get. Just dont heavily deny it to them or you might fit the old shakespere line " she doth protest too much". I know not the greatest advice, maybe some one else has better.

[Ibuki_Warpetal]

Chicks know gunk when they see it, methinks.
Also, word spreads like wildfire.

Predict the worst hope for the best?

CDing never comes up around here...

[Donna Delite]

I remember when I went into work on a Monday and a women made the comment to me "great eyes", when I looked closer in a mirror I still had some mascara on.

[veronica]

A while back I posted in horror when a bitchy coworker caught me with eyeliner gunk in the corner of my eye one morning...

She has since made several comments, oddly, about shoe sizes and me fitting into "her shoes". Now, it works into the situation - because my boss is grooming me to be able to do her job and she feels threatened. BUT some of the comments are... not hurtful in any way - more... um... a tip of the hat, if you will. ALMOST like she has figured it out and is ok with it. Then again - she's weird... she noticed that I noticed her SIZE TWO feet... so maybe she's figured it out? She has led a full and adventurous life - it's possible she knows a CD or something... maybe. We need a secret handshake! ;)

On the flip side of the coin... the other two girls that were there when the eyeliner was discovered (don't think they noticed though)... they have actively mocked crossdressing many times to me - one offered me her Avon catalog but then said "here's the guy section, I'm pretty sure you're not gonna buy yourself any lingerie or makeup" and then started making jokes about it. Another made a comment about how much I noticed about her wedding dress when she brought it in - and made a crack about guys in dresses. It comes up all the time. Today, they made a point of showing me their new nails (I comment when I notice they get them done - isn't it nice to do that?). One said the other didn't know anything about it and I started answering her questions until I realized they were looking at me like "how's he know" so I said "my ex got hers done a lot"... one of the girls said "I wonder what they'd say if you just went in and asked them to do your nails?

I said "my money's just as good as yours" ;)


Anyway... if you feel like there are growing numbers of comments about CDing around you - how do you find out if it's your imagination? Without giving yourself up? I imagine I'm being paranoid... but - if only there was a way to find out if they were all talking about the weird crossdresser guy when I leave the room, ya know? There are only like 7 of us that work there, too...

I'm so paranoid about it.



CAN YOU ASK SOMEONE ? :confused:

[CharleneCD]

Thinking about it more and after showing Bunny your post we are thinking that they have guessed. I cant remember when anyone has talked about croosdressers in front of me and I work around a lot of women. Bunny says first the gunk, then the wedding dress, and finaly the nails conversation. I see her point. Until I started crossdressing i would never have paid attention to a womans eyebrows ( unless it was a botch job) but last night in a movie I could care less about a gals overall look just noticed the exact shape of her eyebrows. I want them :D . We think you have subtletly given yourself away. Maybe they are trying to get you to open up about it or just get confirmation of their suspitions. You just need to decide weather to keep quiet or open up to them.

[Clare]

Can you trust them to understand, or will they use the fact you are a crossdresser to use it against you?

Will enhance or adversly affect your enjoyment at work?

By all means, reveal yourself if you think it advantageous - Charlene and Bunny are right though - i think these people are basically asking for confirmation of their suspicions.

Good luck with whatever you decide - this is always a tense moment.

Christine.

[DonnaT]

First, I think you should give them a little education to stop or counter the jokes. I did this when a guy I work with started to joke about gays. I heven't heard him tell a gay joke since.

Second, if it comes up about your being a CD, then don't lie and appear to be ashamed of it. A little --maybe I am or maybe I'm not-- followed by a --there's nothing wrong with it-- type staement may be the way to answer them.

[stefanie]

I think they know. Given the efforts gg look at each other (makeup, clothing, shoes, polish,etc.), I believe they can pick up on these clues pretty quick. Are any of them trustworthy or all they very caddy?

[Kimberly]

Anyway... if you feel like there are growing numbers of comments about CDing around you - how do you find out if it's your imagination? Without giving yourself up? I imagine I'm being paranoid... but - if only there was a way to find out if they were all talking about the weird crossdresser guy when I leave the room, ya know? There are only like 7 of us that work there, too...
This same exact thing is happening to me at college. Comments about me! Weird, non?

My only advice to you would be to come clean to your boss and ask her to keep an eye out on any bitchy activity. From your post, it sounds like she knows and is probing the waters - waiting for you to tell her.

But give it some thought, and if you do decide to tell her, make sure you have plenty of time and no one else will bother you - and after she's made one of those comments that you think is about your CDing.

[sissynoel]

I think they have their suspicions like Stefanie and Charlene said. They may be trying to confirm what they think they think. I work with an office full of pretty woman, and I mean full of pretty woman. One of them used to be a cheerleader for sports team and the others could be. I am always saying something nice to some of them about the new haircut or perm, how much I like their new outfit or what have you. I would say that at work I'm the typical GM. They all know that I'm married with 4 kids so I can't imagine they think that I'm a closet cd'er,

So anyway there is this one woman, who is young and drop dead gorgeous, I would love to have her body and looks. It's definitely lust. I told her one day how much I liked her new blouse and then went on to elaborate how well it worked with her hair and eye color, I was probably a little too excited, I even mnetioned that her shoes and toenail polish were perfect accessories..(I love pretty feet)...she blushed up like crazy and wasn't quite sure what to say excpet thank you. She had thought about it for awhile and came back to my office with an inquisitive and smirky little smile and asked me why I knew so much about woman's fashion and stuff...feeling a little nervous and embarrassed that I might have let the cat out of the bag...I just looked her in the eyes and told her that I love everything little thing there is about woman, everything, the way the laugh, how sensitive and caring they are, they way they look, walk, their hair, and eyes, their body and fashion, every little detail right down to ther toes, (wink, wink) I babbled on for a few minutes trying to sell it the best I could..(it's actually true though)...at then end she told me that my wife was very lucky to have someone like me..so understanding and all...she still left with that sly smile though.

The big question is do you want them to know and what type of people are they like Stefanie said. If they're really caddy and gossipy your in for trouble. I think if I confided in this one woman she would keep it a secret..but that's a big risk for me and personnaly I'm happy being in the closet.

[jo_ann]

it's amazing how many ways you can get caught.. One time I belonged to this forum, and I wrote a review on a book related to that forum on amazon.com, but I also wrote a review on a crossdressing book, and someone found it.. I quickly deleted both reviews and just ignored the posting. nobody really said anything after that.

[Rachel_740]

Stephanie,

It sounds like they could know (or at least have a strong idea). I think I would play along with them and when they next have the Avon book ask to look at it and turn to the undies pages while they are looking, maybe asking if they think this or that would suit you. My feeling is that they would then either back off or let you know their suspicions about you, without you actually giving away if you do or you don't dress.

If you just come out and tell them, it could be that you freak them, or it could be that they are just trying to wind you up and haven't got any suspicions anyway.

Anne

[StephanieCD]

I think you're all mostly right - they must have at least made a joke or two about it... there are three women that work in close quarters... they must have noticed something.

There's only one, really, that I'd care to let in on it - she's cool, open minded, and nice - another has made negative comments about that sort of thing... and the third (the one who noticed the gunk) just irritates the piss out of me.

It's an all for one, one for all package deal though. Silence will work for now ;)

I wouldn't care too much, except my boss, who works very closely with them all is very old-fashioned... VERY old fashioned. Know what I mean?

Oh well... maybe I'll do an experiment on them all LOL

[Deidra Cowen]

They strongly suspect you crossdress is my best guess but they have just a little doubt about it. I remember that post you made about your eyeliner still being noticable a while back. Every morning when I wake up I check my eyes closely! Part of that was from your thread/post.

If you need your job, I'd lay low. But thats just my un-informed opinion not really knowing what kind of enviroment you are working in.

[Natasha Anne]

If you're feeling confident enough, tell them. Since attending my work function in a dress I've made more female friends at work than ever. They all ask me what I think of their outfits, comment when I wear girls jeans, shoes etc.

They mostly really nice.

Who knows, the girls at your office might become your best friends.

I agree 100% with DonnaT, don't make excuses for why you are a CD, just be one and enjoy it. If someone asks why, just say you enjoy it and prefer the details, textures and colours of the clothing to the boring male stuff we're expected to wear.

Good luck

[Wenda]

The eyeliner post is relevant to me at the moment. I went into the office yesterday (Saturday), very casual. A bright young summer student was taking care of things. I thought she noticed my eyebrows. Forgot about it. Last night my GF asked if I had applied mascara to my brows. I had the evening before and forgot about it. Whatever!
It sounds as though your preferences may have been discussed at some length, and most or all of the ladies you work with have some opinions. Even if I knew them personally, I wouldn't give advice on what to do next. Generally, if you are honest, and they otherwise like and respect you, they will be cool with it and probably supportive. If one of them doesn't like you or is threatened by you, it could be very negative. In general, I have found being honest (without disclosing more than necessary) gains the most support, and is the easiest to sustain in the long run. It confirms their suspicions and develops a level of trust and respect for your integrity. Good luck. wenda.

[Stephenie]

I think that they might suspect since CDing does not come up as a conversation point here very often.

[Wendy me]

made a crack about guys in dresses. It comes up all the time. Today, they made a point of showing me their new nails (I comment when I notice they get them done - isn't it nice to do that?). One said the other didn't know anything about it and I started answering her questions until I realized they were looking at me like "how's he know" so I said "my ex got hers done a lot"... one of the girls said "I wonder what they'd say if you just went in and asked them to do your nails?

I said "my money's just as good as yours


sometimes if you draw enough attacion to your selfe you get people to think and maybe draw up in their minds ......could this guy be one of those cd's....given enough pieces most any one can put the puzzle together......lose lips.........

[Kimberly]

I wouldn't care too much, except my boss, who works very closely with them all is very old-fashioned... VERY old fashioned. Know what I mean?
Time to shock her... me thinks! :cool: ...without loosing your job, of course.

Only kidding. Do what you think is best, honey, and good luck xx

(PS: I WANT YOUR SKIRT/DRESS!!!! WOTEVA IT IS IN YOUR AVATAR, I WANT IT NOW!!! :mad: :cry: )

[StephanieCD]

It's a cute little nighty/chemise and it's MINE!!!!

[Serena]

In the olden days, when gays were treated horribly, they came up with something to know if someone else was gay. They would ask "Are you friends with Dorothy?", and if the person said yes, they were gay, but if they were straight, they'd say something like "Dorothy? From The Wizard Of Oz?"

Maybe CDs should do something like that. :D

[jjjjohanne]

If you just want an answer to your question and you don't want them to think you wear, say, "Why do you always make crossdressing comments to me?" Say it with an annoyed or insulted look on your face. They will either never bring it up to you again, or they may call your bluff. Think through a hundred different responses and maybe you will be 50% ready for what they say. :^) If they respond, you can say, "Well I don't appreciate it." and walk away. That might end the matter. But, that depends on what you want out of this.

Joe

[Elysia]

In a work situation I'd stay very cool. You don't have to tell them anything. They have no right to know. They do not have to like you or understand you as a person or approve of what you do in your personal life. You don't have to like them and worrying about if they like you is a liability to be avoided. If they do that’s fine and good but also irrelevant to the job. At work stay professional. Insist that they also stay professional. Unless of course, you don't care that much about the job and can easily find another one, then it might be an interesting experiment. That’s just my way of seeing things. Hope all goes well for you.