How many of you lost your job b/c you were transitioning?

[tgirlinva]

Like many of you who have transitioned, I am sure that one of your utmost concerns was to lose your job. So I was wondering how many of you were laid off b/c you "came out". Or how many of you decide to maintain a low, somewhat masculine appearance at work, even though you have transitioned or started transitioning.

[Kimberley]

I guess I could fall into that in a backhanded sort of way. I ended up quitting (in a very ugly moment) I was in a nasty state of GD at the time so my thinking wasnt quite clear.

Still, I dont regret that move for a second despite all the hardships that followed. The joys that came after that have reaffirmed that it was the right decision for me.

:hugs:
Kimmie

[Jessicaparkson]

I haven't "come out" at work yet. I honestly don't know what will happen.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i had to leave my job....i really had the dysphoria part really really bad...but i held in long enough to at least make sure i got everything i deserved on the way out..there were many times i just wanted to quit and run away but i sucked it up...disclosed it to my boss with a transition plan (that i knew would never fly)...and waited for them to offer me a deal..which they did..

my particular case was that i had a long career at my company and i actually felt i couldnt do my job as ts...not because i would be a woman, but because i was not comfortable with being the woman who used to be a guy...yet...
i bring this up because one month later, i already feel much more comfortable and as the dysphoria has totally faded and ifeel like maybe i could've stayed...

so its kind of a chicken and egg situation because for many of us, we are in such a state of utter despair and neediness when we are making these HUGE decisions it's a risk that not many people talk about (that risk being screwing your chances at work)

my opinion is that if you are comfortable being "THE TRANSPERSON" at work, then you should just plan carefully and do your best to pick the right people to talk to at work as you disclose your situation, and as you slowly disclose to people it becomes a more manageable situation..

[GypsyKaren]

They put the squeeze on me shortly after I came out and I was forced to retire early. I went on sick leave and they cut off my benefits without any reason, then my union gave me up in a deal for other things, so they sat on their hands and did nothing. It was a big hurt financially, but it cleared the way for me to have my SRS, so they really did me a huge favor because I'm much happier now...my life is more important than their paychecks.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Scotty]

I stay WAY in the closet at work, uncle sam would not be happy.

[Suzy Harrison]

This kind of thread worries me as I can see just how our employment can balance on a knife edge.

I hope to go full time in 6 months and so far the number two person in the company knows all about me and is fully supportive ~ as well as three other people who I work closely with.

In the next week the number one guy will be told ..... and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If he's okay with it them I'm going to be alright - if he's not, then I'm sunk.

[Steph Butterfield]

I've never lost a job due to transitioning, its getting a job in the first place that is the difficult hurdle.

Stephanie

[Joy Carter]

If you want to count me as TS, that will never transition, then yes I lost my career. Long story but it became violent from one employee. I wish now I had stuffed him into a garbage can. But I'm bigger than that. But on the other hand, I would have had the satisfaction that I did. Even my supervisors were hostile. My only friend was a lesbian, I had known from day one. It came out OK. Retired on disability, but I'm still working. If things ever changed, and I hope it don't (marriage), I know I'm going to do the real life test. The one thing is that after loosing my career, there is nothing anyone can do to hurt me now. I loved what I did. I liked going to work, and I thought I had respect from my pears. But after they found out, I was nothing to them.

[MJ]

after i told my employer They put the squeeze on me shortly after I came out and due to all the bull crap I went on sick/stress leave and and was fired while i was off.. after almost 3 years service two as Paul and one as mj..

[Lisa Golightly]

I own the company so I think I'm safe...

[Sally24]

I own the company so I think I'm safe...
Yeah, but you work for a #@*! slave driver! :heehee:

[snyderarts]

Where i work, i dont work for the company i work for a temp service. it sucks i know but it pays for now. I came out about 2 or 3 months ago to both the temp service and the bosses at my assignment. Its been great. I some to work dressed im women clothing a lot. Not all the time but a lot. Everyone is cool with it. there have been a lot of question from people, i've been more then happy to shine the light on some of those stereotypes. There have been a few issues thou. Bathrooms... i cant use the lady's room till it says (F) on my drivers license. but i'm cool with that. Some of the girls like to take me out and teach me stuff and shop. But the point i'm trying to make is MOVE TO MINNESOTA!... no what im really getting at is its not all lost, there are still good places that are accepting.

[Nicki B]

If you want to count me as TS, that will never transition, then yes I lost my career. Long story but it became violent from one employee. I wish now I had stuffed him into a garbage can.

Joy, if you had, you wouldn't be the person you are? :hugs:

[Joy Carter]

Joy, if you had, you wouldn't be the person you are? :hugs:
Thanks kiddo. You don't know how I do appreciate this comment from you. :hugs:

Being a male, who can handle himself has it's advantages. But on the other hand, trying to be a peaceable man has it's disadvantages.

[waspookie6]

Not sure about anywhere but the states but wouldn't the gender law protect you from being fired?

A friend who was transitioning (full SRS) worked at a large corporation where they couldn't fire him during his transition due to this law. They did move him to a private office at his request until she came back from medical leave after the major surgery (all others were taken on sick days so there was little down time) then she went back to work in an open office. The company was very diligent in making sure there was no firing due to the laws every state has.

Maybe it would be prudent to check the laws first - even if it is "at will" legally one can't be fired for transitioning alone.

[melimelo]

Not sure about anywhere but the states but wouldn't the gender law protect you from being fired?

A friend who was transitioning (full SRS) worked at a large corporation where they couldn't fire him during his transition due to this law. They did move him to a private office at his request until she came back from medical leave after the major surgery (all others were taken on sick days so there was little down time) then she went back to work in an open office. The company was very diligent in making sure there was no firing due to the laws every state has.

Maybe it would be prudent to check the laws first - even if it is "at will" legally one can't be fired for transitioning alone.

You are, in principle, right of course. However, these laws won't prevent an unscrupulous employer from finding a reason to fire a transitioned transperson. It's really unfair, but after you come out to your work place, you have to be flawless in the execution of your job. Trivial things might be written to your file, like missing half a day because the hormones are wreaking havoc on your mood, or because the electrolysis makes you look like you lost a box match the last evening :D Enough of these, and suddenly you might have HR on your back. I'm not speaking of personal experience yet, but it's a summary of testimonies I've read here and there.

Really, it's the same situation that anybody can face if they have a personality conflict with their boss. Although most companies won't allow firing a person for this kind of situation, it might be possible to gather enough "strikes" to retire any batter... :strugglin

[Mariah]

I had to quit my Pilot car job right before starting transitioning (racest sexest basterd owner and employes). tryed working at HnR block as myself and had to quit (to stress full), now working for the paper as male me *sigh*.


Mariah

[Melissa A.]

Unfortunately, melimelo is right. GENDA laws are nice in theory, and I support them, because they say I'm a valued citizen who counts. But they won't stop someone from getting you gone if they're determined to. Then there are your co-workers. If your employer backs you up, and enforces harrassment rules, they still can't force people to be nice to you, or make it easy to do your job. I work in the Freight Railroad industry, a very macho field. But the company already knows. I've told them, and they have assured me they will tolerate no harrassment or intimidation. But I have to work with these guys, many of whom are less than informed or sophisticated, in a sometimes dangerous job, with alot of rules. There will be ways, if some want to, to attempt to make me miserable. It's probably going to be the most challenging aspect of my transition, and require more strength and courage than I've ever shown, probably. But I am getting there. and as they say, things often don't end up as bad as your nightmares are. As far as employers are concerned, I have noticed that the bigger the company, the more sensitive and tolerant they are to stuff like this. They don't want to be seen as a heavy, or deal with possible litigation. And some companies really do champion workplace diversity. This is still a growing phenomenon, and one needs to be prepared, both financially and emotionally, for almost anything.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[StaceyJane]

Yesterday I was in full girl mode at home watching "The Dark Knight" (okay it was the 1968 Batman movie) when my boss called to ask a question. Thank God I don't have a vidieo phone!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

yep Melissa ...i think you pretty much nail it....as far as the "rules"...most of us would be accepted on our jobs...after that? god bless you...it will take enormous emotional strength and perhaps even "perfect" job performance to make it on your current job...

also, i have talked to some ts women who tell me that in the end, they are more judged on the "transition"...how will you look?? how will you talk? what will you wear? all these questions that are very difficult in a vacuum become even tougher when you walk in the door as your female self.

.this is totally unfair and quite silly because the reality is that for someone to have the will, courage and strength to do this should be a pretty good candidate for any job!!! oh well..

[Suzy Harrison]

Today the CEO was told about my condition by the HR Manager - no problems at all. I was told I have nothing to worry about. So at least there are some forward looking people in the world.

[mollytyler]

I guess it all comes down to the "environment" of your workplace. You can have all the laws on the books...but it still comes down to a culture in the workplace and how, not only a transition issue is handled, but how other issues dealing with the myriad of discrminiation are handled by your HR department. You cannot change peoples attitudes - but the company's persona can always be worked on to protect your interest. I happen to work with a VERY tolerant company that has accepted by transition issues since day one - from the early very androgynous years to full transition now. True i am in a very liberal work situation(media/entertainment) but I can say the people themselves have gone out of their way to support me----it did not take the LAW to make them- just the attitude. Regretfully, not all companies are this way and TGs still have to throw up the law in the face of ignorance. Good luck