PDA

View Full Version : Time to retire I believe



Kate Simmons
11-17-2008, 04:49 PM
Yep, I think the time has come for me to hang up my wigs and put the clothes into mothballs. Incredible as it may seem I'm ready to retire from CDing, at least for awhile. Not sure how things will turn out yet but recent events have changed the focus of my life and it seems I'm needed by my family. I may be here off and on but not as much as before, it depends really on how things go.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a good CD "career" and have learned a lot in conjunction with my own feelings and relationships with others and have met a good deal of great friends from all pursuasions, especially on this site. I originally came out openly as my femme self in early 2001 and paid a hefty price family wise at that time. Since then, I've accepted myself, embraced my feelings and have made them my own. They have become very real to me by my demonstrating them in a very real and outward way. It wasn't always just about going out in a wig, dress and makeup though and I was learning while doing. I have learned for myself , it was mostly about the feelings and learning not to become afraid or ashamed of them and for most of my life I was not being the real me.

That being the case, I have integrated my feelings to the point of always being the same person regardless of outward appearance. I also learned fairly early on that it wasn't just a physical thing but spiritual issues were involved as well and balancing the masculine and feminine energies is very important to me. Always being true to myself is a big part of it anyway and in that way the feelings always flow naturally and somewhat sincerely.

These days, however, I'm really enjoying being myself and that "self" is not a man or a woman really, just a person who just wants to be a person and no one in particular. I can't complain as I've had a pretty active 8 years and have pretty much done it all and can be whoever I want to be with very little effort. That will never change and I reserve the right to be Arianna when and if I want to.

Now, however, the focus will be on the family and moving forward. I do believe we are in store for big changes and 2008 was just a sample of the things to come. The challenge as I see it in the coming years is the ability to still be true to self and not compromise that no matter what comes along. In any case, life is an adventure and those who are successful live it as it comes and make the most of it in a positive way.:)

renee k
11-17-2008, 05:04 PM
Arianna, I will certainly miss your contributions to this board. I've enjoyed reading your posts and love your outlook on life. Please take care and come back and see us.

Huggs, Renee

Sheila
11-17-2008, 05:06 PM
glad to hear u are not going to be a total stranger hun. Good luck for your future :hugs:

trisha59
11-17-2008, 05:07 PM
Arianna,
May the wind be at your back. Until we meet again:wave:

DeSkirt
11-17-2008, 05:07 PM
Good luck to you Arianna.
I was really impressed with what you wrote. It sounds like you have experienced and learned alot and have come to terms with who you are. I am still trying to understand myself and how Cross Dressing fits in my life. I hope I can have the same sense of clarity and satisfaction that I read from your comments as I try to process my thoughts about what I am going through. It sounds like you are making a decision to discontinuing your dressing to be with your family from a place of acceptance and duty and not deciding to stop against your will, and for that I admire you.
You always know where we are, just a click away.

Sarah...
11-17-2008, 05:17 PM
Good! Decisive. I like that. Especially borne out of extended research and subsequent introspection. So now you understand yoursef and have the confidence to take that understanding forward and do the best you can with it.

Bon chance!

Sarah...

Bev06 GG
11-17-2008, 05:22 PM
Wow Arrianna
What an amazing attitude you have to everything. You are so right, so cool and so together. I hope you do visit from time to time because like the others I will miss your contributions to this board and of course your friendship. All the best my friend
take care
Bev

avril findlay
11-17-2008, 05:23 PM
I don't think you can really ever hang up your skirt, but I wish you good luck and a big kiss x

Julogden
11-17-2008, 05:36 PM
Hi Arianna,

I wish you the best, you've been one of the people whose words I've always enjoyed reading here.

Back when I was actively dressing, I made an attempt to integrate my two sides more, and I think that may be a large part of why I rarely feel the need to dress completely and go out like I did back in the "good" old days. Maybe that's what you're now experiencing.

Whatever the reason, I hope you'll be very happy.

Carol

SherriePall
11-17-2008, 06:10 PM
Arianna -- Best of everything to you, hun. Take care and it was nice visiting with you on this forum.

harmony
11-17-2008, 06:59 PM
once we give room to who we realy are as compared to what we percieve intellectually the compulsive behaviour seems to leave the scene and we can take it or leave it at will.good luck from a kindred spirit.
making her come out still produces a very nice glow and is worth the effort every now and then!

curse within
11-17-2008, 07:09 PM
Good luck Arianna, your imput in this place will be missed. Good luck on the mission life is calling you for and knowing when to hang up the wig . I respect you for that.

Carly D.
11-17-2008, 08:37 PM
You can try to throw it in.. I've tried so many times and have now decided to say screw it bury me in my hose...

docrobbysherry
11-17-2008, 10:14 PM
Not sure about us here, without your wise council!

Not goodbye, just, " See u later, friend"!:hugs:

Karren H
11-17-2008, 10:47 PM
I know that you have been having these family issues for a long time and I sincerely hope you find all the happiness you deserve, Rich!!! Thanks for being a good friend...... I don't venture out on Yahoo IM much anymore so drop me an email and let me know how your doing....

Karren

Holly
11-17-2008, 10:57 PM
I'm happy for you. Keep seeking, dear friend. Many of the things you've learned these last eight years should serve you well.

GG Pearls
11-17-2008, 11:00 PM
I am new to this site, and have enjoyed reading various posts by you. I was telling my SO (Jina) that I am glad you have over nine thousand past posts to read at my leisure!!! Best wishes for you and your family :0)

vikki2020
11-17-2008, 11:55 PM
Good luck to you. I do hope that you drop in every once in a while,just to stay in touch!

ReineD
11-18-2008, 12:58 AM
Arianna,
May the wind be at your back. Until we meet again:wave:

And may the sun shine warm upon your face. :hugs:

I appreciate your insight and I've enjoyed reading your posts tremendously! I'm glad you didn't decide to leave us entirely. I wish you all the best!
:love:

Bethany_Anne_Fae
11-18-2008, 01:22 AM
We will miss you and your vaults of wisdom :( But you have to go where the winds guide you. I hope you do come back to see us eveyr so often cause we'll miss you.

*hugs*

Zarabeth

Sallee
11-18-2008, 02:10 AM
I can understand where you are coming from. I hope it lasts for you. I do think your right in the fact that you are feeling comfortable in your skin at least that is how I interpreted it. I have felt the same way at times usually after an extended period maybe a week or so of being dressed 24/7 I realize it really is in being comfortable with who we are. Good luck

Tracii G
11-18-2008, 05:13 AM
Sad to see you go. I have learned a lot from you in your posts about how to present properly I thank you for that.:D

Paulacder
11-18-2008, 06:03 AM
Arianna: I can relate with your feelings. In the past I have decided several times that I would no longer dress. During these times I have completely purged. I then came to the realization that dressing is part of me, it is a part of my life, It's what I do and what I will always do. Some times I have thought how stupid dressing is, the risk that are involved, the sacrifices that I make. But the facts are I am stuck with it and will deal with it. Good luck to you, my thoughts and prayers are with you.....

Daintre
11-18-2008, 06:07 AM
Arianna, you have always been my favorite poster, your posts are always filled with items that I never thought about. I am assuming you will drop back from time to time to keep us in line, take care and Arianna, have a good life.

Jonianne
11-18-2008, 06:32 AM
Arianna, I do believe that people, if left alone, will gravitate to where they get their needs met.

It is good to see that you are free enough to not be locked into one particular orbit. As other heavenly bodies pass very close to ours, it very much changes and affects our orbit, sometimes to a major degree. You have certainly had a major one cross your path recently and you have had to reorient yourself in relation to your own moons and other planets in your life to find that balance you so earnestly seek.

Always remember no matter how far you get pulled in another direction you will always have the gentle tug of your family here who are willing to reach out to you whenever you need. May your orbit continue to cross ours often and the gravity of your wisdom tug on our hearts as you pass by.

Hugs,

Joni

Kate Simmons
11-18-2008, 06:37 AM
Thanks my friends, I appreciate all of the heartfelt expressions. This is not necessarily goodbye but I did want to let you all know what I was doing. I never forget my friends and am proud to call them such and regardless of what I decide to do that will never change. My new focus is merely an expansion on my overall outlook on things but it will be a new approach as my family has never really dealt with my amalgamated self and they will notice a change as I'm more outgoing and positive since integrating the feelings.

Crossdressing served as a vehicle to help me express those feelings which were always there but I had difficulty bringing them out. In many ways it may seem kind of mechanical, getting dressed, making ourselves look nice, etc. but it is really a type of feed back/feed forward process that puts us in touch with our being if we pay attention.Sometimes we have to just "allow" ourselves to be ourself to understand who we really are but we have to be honest. I consider myself fortunate in that respect as many folks never realize that and just continue to plod along. The real key is the feelings themselves. As part of society we tend to "assign" certain feelings to the genders but the feelings are really inherent in all of us if we wish to utilize them but most do not for whatever reason.

True freedom means being yourself regardless and a real person does not need any kind of "excuse" to act a certain way one way or the other. That goes a long way because if we are not confident in who we are and convinced of that, no one else will be either. The reality is that it matters very little what we look like on the outside as who we are on the inside will always tend to shine through.:)

deja true
11-18-2008, 06:47 AM
Arianna, my dear teacher....

I seem to remember actually almost crying a few months ago when you said you were gonna hang it up....but I'm not gonna get all misty again now!

Despite the silliness sometimes and the repetition sometimes, you'll still need this place a little. We both know there's not a lot of other options out there for intelligent talk about this consuming passion of ours.

And besides, not to guilt trip you or anything, but there is still the never ending stream of newly awakened members and lurkers that need to hear your rational and all inclusive human take on the many issues that come before us all the time.

You'll be back...we need you!

:)...:<3:...:)

DAVIDA
11-18-2008, 07:33 AM
Well, Arianna, here we are! I remember when I first found this site. I was so in the dark........and there was a little light in here that helped me see. That light was you! Other than Jean, you are most responsible for my "maturing" as a crossdresser. My gratefulness can not possibly be expressed in the manner that would be most correct. I am a better crossdresser because of you, and that makes me a better person as a whole.
But, I am not the only one that has grown. I have had the pleasure to be your friend, and I have seen you grow, too. I have watched you go through an evolution that myself and others can only wish for. You are a wise person. I am proud to be your friend. I will support you in whatever you decide because I know that you are right.
I look forward to hearing from you from time to time. If you ever need anything, just ask.
Love you lots,
Davida

erickka
11-18-2008, 07:38 AM
Best of luck to you, and may you find all the happiness and fulfillment of your needs and desires. Please don't be a total stranger! Hugs, Erickka.

Kate Simmons
11-18-2008, 07:57 AM
Ha ha, you know me too well Deja, what can I say? I usually speak up when human issues are involved, although sometimes I do like to have fun also. The main thing is to get folks to think and come to their own conclusions on things. Sometimes they are not as difficult as they seem when we consider the base motivations. It's so simple sometimes, it's difficult because we tend to build up a lot of "fluff" mostly of our own creation, because of conflicts, denial, etc. Geez, there I go again.

Crossdressing is not about crossdressing, it's about people, people who are striving to get in touch with themselves in some way. It's different for all of us really but the key to understanding is to pay attention. I do this because...it gives me a certain feeling..and what does that feeling do for me? The analysis is simple but total honesty is required to really learn. Sometimes we may not like what we learn and then it's our choice on whether to make adjustments or not.

Anyway, I have explained why I'm retiring to a few folks in a bit more detail. Suffice it to say, I'll still be around but will not be here as much due to other things going on with the house, family, etc.:)

Angie G
11-18-2008, 08:28 AM
Arianna I will miss you here hun please do visit often. I wish you all the best with you family. And if you don't return to us I wish you all the best thing in the world girlfriend and have a good life.:love::hugs:
Angie

Sarah_GG
11-18-2008, 09:41 AM
Adios Arianna. Reading your posts and the warmth they inspire in others has been lovely.

I wish you well in whatever the future holds for you.

Very best wishes

:love:

Margot
11-18-2008, 09:46 AM
Good luck Arianna. Family is so important in our lives.
:hugs:
Margot

Patty
11-18-2008, 09:50 AM
Arianna, I will certainly miss your contributions to this board. I've enjoyed reading your posts and love your outlook on life. Please take care and come back and see us.

Huggs, Renee

Could not say it better

Love,
Patty

Di
11-18-2008, 10:21 AM
I wish you the very best in whatever the future holds for you.
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::h ugs:
You are well loved and will be missed.

Violet
11-18-2008, 01:12 PM
Arianna, I wish you good luck in the future, and I will miss reading your posts. I'm glad to hear that you won't be leaving completely, and that you'll check in every now and again. I hope everything works out with your family, too.

Hugs!

jina
11-18-2008, 03:20 PM
Hi Arianna,... Count me as another that wishes you well, and at the same time am sorry to see you go. I am relatively new here and was just catching on to your warm and thoughtful posts. :)
When you mention "changes" in your original post, I wonder if you might mean a soon to be changing world and how that might affect the big picture and family etc. (?). If so, I can definitely see that too...

Anyway,... Be Well, jina

debbeelee1
11-18-2008, 04:24 PM
Please stop by for a visit! If you do come back, you'll be welcomed with open arms!