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Chris88
11-22-2008, 05:28 PM
I'm a 37 year old crossdresser and have been since I was a kid. Besides crossdressing in private, I've never really taken it any further. I have been out in public as a girl once (which went well), but I've never been to any TV bars or clubs etc.

I'm single and although I'm straight and not attracted to guys, I get really excited by the idea of hanging out with a guy (non-TV) who will treat me like a real girl. I'm not interested in sex, just friendship. I've tried posting ads online a few times, and I always get plenty of replies, so I know I could find a guy interested.

Besides crossdressing, I also have some kinky fetishes. My main fantasy is about being tied up by a guy and tickled! This is also something I'd like to try for real.

The thing is I'm very nervous about meeting a guy because I don't know if meeting a guy for real would be something I'd enjoy, or whether I'd just feel really awkward and embarrassed.

Is there anyone else who used to feel this way and decided to meet up with a guy? How did it go, was it the right thing to do or was it a mistake?

Shelly Preston
11-22-2008, 05:57 PM
Hi Chris

This sounds like something you need to take in very slow steps

As of now you don't know how you would react to being approached by a man

You need to be aware of how dangerous it could be

Sometimes thoughts don't translate into actions no matter how appealing it might sound
You need to read the Sticky thread on meeting people before you decide to meet someone

Marjory
11-22-2008, 06:06 PM
I agree with Shelly, I would suggest going very slowly here or just leave it as a fantasy. I just don't trust straight guys.

yms
11-22-2008, 06:07 PM
Aside from the obvious safety issues, which are important, it is a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation. If you never do, you will always wonder.

If you can do it in a way that feels safe, go ahead. Find out. Then at least you will know. If it is awkward, have your one glass of wine or cup of coffee, make your exit, and you've got it out of your system.

Whether you enjoy it or not will depend in part on you and in part on him.

Yvonne

Sally24
11-22-2008, 06:10 PM
I'd leave the bondage play at home, you have to really trust someone to enter that kind of situation. That could easily go past just tickling and transition into sex, no matter what everyones intentions at the start.

Chris88
11-22-2008, 06:12 PM
Hi, thanks for the advice.

Yes, I know I'd have to be careful about the safety side - and I wouldn't let a guy tie me up until I'd really got to know him. I was asking more about whether meeting a guy would feel "comfortable" or just feel "wrong" It would be good to hear from someone who's met non-TV guys.

Tracii G
11-22-2008, 10:54 PM
I was dressed en femme at a party a few years back and met a very nice gay man.I was never into guys so to speak but we hit it off very well he knew I was a guy. He read me off.
Well we actually dated for a year but I was just to girly for him he wanted an all out gay man not a Bi man.
Do go slow and be very careful.

sterling12
11-23-2008, 01:16 AM
Chris is this a joke? You want to flirt with a guy in a bar, but just get treated like a woman and be friends. Then, you want to have him put you in bondage and tickle you....but nothing is going to happen? I paraphrased just a bit and regurgitated it back at you to perhaps make you think about how ludicrous and unlikely your fantasy really is.

If you go into known T-Gurl Bars and flirt with a guy, about nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine times out of one million encounters, your going to get a lot more than you bargained for. Just friends.....indeed! Your a guy, you know what they want!

If you decided to take him home and get put into bondage and tickled; it's all but certainty, you would be beat up and raped! You could easily end up dead. I personally know of at least three other cases where Gurl's did a lot less "teasing" than your little scenario and they died for it!

An awful lot of guys who hang out around the Gurl's have serious gender issues about their own ambiguous feelings. Inotherwords, "they ain't wrapped too tight." You want to "play games" with such people.....that's you being crazy too!

I think you better keep your fantasies right where they currently reside, inside your head. Otherwise, your going to reap nothing but trouble.

Peace and Love, Joanie

stellatoo
11-23-2008, 05:36 AM
Hi Chris,

Why not make friends with another CD and swap nights when you're the guy...then she is?

It'll probably be a lot less riskier than picking some random man.

Good luck.


Stella

Deborah Jane
11-23-2008, 05:53 AM
Hi Chris
I think you,re playing with fire on this one, if a guy agreed to what you wanted you can be pretty sure he,d have his own agenda once he,d got you tied up. Unless you get to know the guy really well and learn to trust him completely, i wouldn,t even risk it if i were you.
Sometimes fantasies are just best left as that....Fantasies!!

Jess_cd32
11-23-2008, 06:47 AM
Hi Chris
I think you,re playing with fire on this one, if a guy agreed to what you wanted you can be pretty sure he,d have his own agenda once he,d got you tied up. Unless you get to know the guy really well and learn to trust him completely, i wouldn,t even risk it if i were you.
Sometimes fantasies are just best left as that....Fantasies!!

I agree w/ Debs and the others 100%, think your kidding yourself as well it wouldn't go further. Getting tied up you better really know your partner or as said it could turn ugly really quick. Enjoy yourself but stay safe in the process.

Jess_cd32
11-23-2008, 06:57 AM
...................Of course you're not going to go to a stranger's home or invite one to your home on a first date. We all know that, we've all read the articles in Cosmopolitan... haven't we?

Of course you're not going to say to a perfect stranger, after ten minutes' acquaintance: "Hey, tell you what, you tie me up and tickle me!".......

Well I did meet a pretty GG once and after a few hours we we're at my place and she was asking if I had any rope:heehee:, so on rare occations I guess it could happen:D The next day she helped me paint my house, cool girl and I liked her alot:thumbsup:

Shelly Preston
11-23-2008, 08:21 AM
Omigod, what a lot of scaredycats there are on the site this weekend!

We are just careful not scared


it will be a pretty-well sure-fire way of not getting read, because people don't stare at other men's dates.

Good luck.

I would not bet on that happening for a moment

Its amazing how may will stare if your with a pretty girl

Angie G
11-23-2008, 09:09 AM
As far as feeling Comfortable or wrong is in how you see it not others. What wrong for me may be right for you. What ever you do be careful.:hugs:
Angie

LaurenInDC
11-23-2008, 10:09 AM
As far as feeling Comfortable or wrong is in how you see it not others. What wrong for me may be right for you. What ever you do be careful.:hugs:
Angie

Agreed. Just be safe, above all else. No fantasy is worth your safety.

Lauren

Janie Gunn
11-23-2008, 10:43 AM
I've been thinking lately of how I may sometime try tranny dating just for the fun of it, meeting up with another tranny in that way. Dating a straight guy for the purpose of being treated romantically like a lady, isnt something that I personally care to do, but if it feels like something that you need to try to satisfy your curiosity, then just be careful how you go about it. Youre the only one who really knows if its right for you.

Janie

annekathleen
11-23-2008, 10:48 AM
If a "straight" guy was interested in a cross dresser,
......is he really "straight"?

If a "straight" crossdresser is interested in another guy,
.....is the crossdresser really "straight"?

Nicki B
11-23-2008, 11:20 AM
I'd leave the bondage play at home, you have to really trust someone to enter that kind of situation. That could easily go past just tickling and transition into sex, no matter what everyones intentions at the start.

Or, as Joanie says, a lot, lot worse, once you lose any control?

If you're serious about wanting to do this, look for a local BDSM group, where fantasies can be indulged safely, with others around and controls in place?


If a "straight" guy was interested in a cross dresser,
......is he really "straight"?

If a "straight" crossdresser is interested in another guy,
.....is the crossdresser really "straight"?

What does 'straight' mean, once you start talking about acting as the opposite sex? Surely it becomes meaningless..

JenniferR771
11-23-2008, 11:36 AM
I have similar fantasies. And I think Stelato is right. Find a CD friend and take turns taking each other out as man and woman. I went out to dinner with a cd in drab mode, who could not dress for some reason at the cd get together. Go slow--it will take time to find the right person and get to know him well. Imagine a handsome man taking you to the symphony (and you are dressed super special), and then out for drinks and dinner later. Oh LA La!

DemonicDaughter
11-23-2008, 12:01 PM
And it will be a pretty-well sure-fire way of not getting read, because people don't stare at other men's dates.

Good luck.

Oh yes they do! LOL! No one adverts their eyes from a woman just because there's a man at her table. Hell, some guys just wait for the man to go to the bathroom before walking over to the woman and flirting with her. Hell some don't even wait for that!



If you're serious about wanting to do this, look for a local BDSM group, where fantasies can be indulged safely, with others around and controls in place?

My thoughts exactly.

MsJanessa
11-23-2008, 12:15 PM
Darling, if you let a guy tie you up, and youre all dressed and made up, he will have sex with you whether you want to or not----advice---don't go there unless you do want sex with the guy because that is what will happen

deja true
11-23-2008, 12:43 PM
... And it will be a pretty-well sure-fire way of not getting read, because people don't stare at other men's dates.

Good luck.

You're kidding, right?

Most guys would date a great looking woman specifically because other guys will check her out!

It's called scoring points with the homeboys...

Doesn't make any diff whether they actually score or not. 'Cos as a recent survey of dating singles found out, men usualy lie about their number of conquests in order to look like studs, while women usually downplay the number of relationships they've had in order not to look like skanks.

:D

windycissy
11-23-2008, 12:53 PM
Been there, done that, loved it! Not sure about the tie-me-down-and-tickle-me fetish, but then who are we to talk about fetishes?

As for how to meet guys, tried Craigslist and there are a lot of losers, you might try OKCupid...just be real clear about what you are and what you're looking for, and if you do decide to hook up with someone, make sure it's at a safe place!

raleighbelle
11-23-2008, 01:23 PM
I agree with what most everyone has said, but no one has really answered your central quiestion. As I understand it, you are mostly asking if your fantasy could possibly play out as you imagine it, or if when you actually go for it, you will feel awkward and not want to go through with it. At least that is how I understand your question.

Unfortunately, as I have never done any of that, I cannot really give an accurate answer.

However, I have certainly had somewhat similar fantasies, and have really wondered the same questions. I suspect that in reality if I got together with a guy for a date (with me as a woman) that if he tried to kiss me and stuck his tongue in my mouth, I would be very turned off, and a whole lot worse if he actually wanted to have sex with me. And what's in it for him if he is only going to 'treat me as a lady'?

I think this will differ immensely from one person to another, so I certainly cannot speak for you. The only way you can really answer it is to try it out, which could be incredible, but could be very dangerous as well, so I agree with the others that it should be with someone you know and trust, or in some type of environmnet where there is an escape if you need it.

Sometimes fantasy and reality are two extremely different things. It is nice though that we can at least fantasize safely.

Good Luck!

valenstein
11-23-2008, 06:58 PM
What does 'straight' mean, once you start talking about acting as the opposite sex? Surely it becomes meaningless..

I second that. Too many gray areas. If you are both dressed up women and are both female in mind at the time, lesbian sex is still homosexual when applied. There are plenty of instances where straight/gay really have no meaning.

Beth-Lock
11-23-2008, 07:29 PM
As for being treated as a lady by a man, I think I will stick to having doors opened for me in a public place. Only thing, last time it happened, I did not understand it, and was a little surprised and taken aback. Next time I will be prepared. (And for those ladies who complain they don't ever get the doors opened for them, maybe dressing more like a real lady rather than the cleaning crew for the building, might help, or at least in one case I know, it might.)
On further thought, I wonder if there is a web site for those into tickelomania, (though that is not likely the real name for it). One would be more likely to find someone who would meet your expectations safely there.

JennyBaby
11-26-2008, 04:51 AM
I tried this one time. It DID NOT turn out well! :-(

DemonicDaughter
11-26-2008, 11:03 AM
As for being treated as a lady by a man, I think I will stick to having doors opened for me in a public place. Only thing, last time it happened, I did not understand it, and was a little surprised and taken aback. Next time I will be prepared. (And for those ladies who complain they don't ever get the doors opened for them, maybe dressing more like a real lady rather than the cleaning crew for the building, might help, or at least in one case I know, it might.)...

I don't think that someone treating another person with simple common courtesy should have ANYTHING to do with how they are dressed!

Beth-Lock
11-26-2008, 05:44 PM
I don't think that someone treating another person with simple common courtesy should have ANYTHING to do with how they are dressed!

As the former conman and author of the book, now a movie, 'Catch Me If You Can,' put it, everything goes more smoothly if you put on a bit of class with your appearance. Class also has a surprisingly close relation to traditional appearance. So, if one looks like a traditional woman and is well dressed in an at least somewhat classy way, you have the advantage of likely being treated better by strangers.
Well, another reason it does make a difference, is that men are often somewhat intimidated by rough or overly casual appearance, (in both men and women). So, if one does not look very much like a somewhat old-fashioned, traditional woman, men these days are afraid they might get a nasty reaction from a woman following the doctrinaire feminist line of women being perfectly capable of opening a door for themselves --- in short, telling them off. The nasty reactions so many men got, including yours truly in the days when feminism was called women's lib, has made directly, a lasting impression on some old enough to have gone through that.
In making my remark, I was indirectly referring to the sort of garb worn by a female relative right when she was telling me that men do not open the door for her.
How's that for social analysis following the feminist model?

DemonicDaughter
11-26-2008, 06:11 PM
As the former conman and author of the book, now a movie, 'Catch Me If You Can,' put it, everything goes more smoothly if you put on a bit of class with your appearance. Class also has a surprisingly close relation to traditional appearance. So, if one looks like a traditional woman and is well dressed in an at least somewhat classy way, you have the advantage of likely being treated better by strangers.
Well, another reason it does make a difference, is that men are often somewhat intimidated by rough or overly casual appearance, (in both men and women). So, if one does not look very much like a somewhat old-fashioned, traditional woman, men these days are afraid they might get a nasty reaction from a woman following the doctrinaire feminist line of women being perfectly capable of opening a door for themselves --- in short, telling them off. The nasty reactions so many men got, including yours truly in the days when feminism was called women's lib, has made directly, a lasting impression on some old enough to have gone through that.
In making my remark, I was indirectly referring to the sort of garb worn by a female relative right when she was telling me that men do not open the door for her.
How's that for social analysis following the feminist model?

I am definitely someone that doesn't look "traditional" by any means. LOL! And I know quite a few people who've stated they'd never want to meet me in a dark alley. But I have no issues with someone, male or female, holding open doors for me. I don't care what the person behind me looks like, I don't even look. I just hold the door for them.

But I suppose we still live in a world where you have those people who look like you just don't take them home to mama... but then again, I'm one of them. :)

Alice Torn
11-26-2008, 08:29 PM
Like you, whenball dolled up, I have fantasies of being danced with and caressed, felt all over by some guy. Many times, I tried alternative dating sites, Craigslist, and others. I came right up to the point of arranging to meet that night, but either found they were married, or wanted to have sex! So, still haven't met anyone. I wrote in my ad- no French kissing, no penetration sex. That limits what they can do, but,give human nature an inch, and it will take a mile, especially sex hungry males.