StephanieCD
06-05-2005, 04:14 PM
This weekend I gained some insight into what it must be like to be the SO, kid, or other family member of a CD who reveals themselves to you. Just a glimpse, but I thought I'd offer it in case it helps anyone.
If you don't know - I'm 28 and have been dressing since I was 5.
My father was sorting through some old pictures... he was gone, I was doing laundry. Decided to look at the old pictures - lots of me and family, I wasn't snooping. Came upon a few pictures of my Dad in a dress for Halloween one year when I was younger - I knew about it and remember being confused because I was already wondering about why I was the way I was (about 12 years old)... then, to see Dad like that - kind of odd, even for Halloween... I never knew there were pictures, either.
Anyway - when I saw that pictures, just for a second I wasn't a 28 year old CD desperately seeking acceptance... I was a kid, seeing his old man in a dress...
I was shocked, just for a second.
I was embarassed for him, just for a second.
I was confused, just for a second.
I felt bad for him, just for a second.
I tried to see if he looked happy.... happier.
Suddenly, I remembered that before Dad met mom he was openly bisexual... I wondered, looking at the picture, if this was "real".
Then, after those few seconds passed, I thought "that pattern is so ugly, Dad, and your boobs look droopy" ;)
I imagine most SOs might feel like I did "just for a second" - plus all the anger betrayal stuff... but "just for a second" I was shocked as all hell and I wondered, how many other pictures were in the box... I also put the picture away before my daughter saw me looking at it and wanted to see... I wanted to hide it from her, even though it's just a Halloween costume... And I'm a crossdresser - I imagine these feelings are more powerful for others?
If you don't know - I'm 28 and have been dressing since I was 5.
My father was sorting through some old pictures... he was gone, I was doing laundry. Decided to look at the old pictures - lots of me and family, I wasn't snooping. Came upon a few pictures of my Dad in a dress for Halloween one year when I was younger - I knew about it and remember being confused because I was already wondering about why I was the way I was (about 12 years old)... then, to see Dad like that - kind of odd, even for Halloween... I never knew there were pictures, either.
Anyway - when I saw that pictures, just for a second I wasn't a 28 year old CD desperately seeking acceptance... I was a kid, seeing his old man in a dress...
I was shocked, just for a second.
I was embarassed for him, just for a second.
I was confused, just for a second.
I felt bad for him, just for a second.
I tried to see if he looked happy.... happier.
Suddenly, I remembered that before Dad met mom he was openly bisexual... I wondered, looking at the picture, if this was "real".
Then, after those few seconds passed, I thought "that pattern is so ugly, Dad, and your boobs look droopy" ;)
I imagine most SOs might feel like I did "just for a second" - plus all the anger betrayal stuff... but "just for a second" I was shocked as all hell and I wondered, how many other pictures were in the box... I also put the picture away before my daughter saw me looking at it and wanted to see... I wanted to hide it from her, even though it's just a Halloween costume... And I'm a crossdresser - I imagine these feelings are more powerful for others?