Help with the second step

[xdress2lady]

Hi Ladies;

I am finally stepping out as Josie for the first time next week. I haven't been this excited and nervous since I was a teenager LOL! I am simply going for a drive in the car at night. Many of you did that as your first venture and it does seem the safest route till I'm ready to handle public appearances. But for some reason I feel I need a little more than just a drive on the highway. I see that as step one and since I have 5 days of freedom this week coming, I am thinking about a "step 2" as well.

A movie theater is out and may be too much for me especially since I am alone. Public highway rest-stops are closed for the winter season so I don't want a trespassing fine or something LOL. There is a "safe" bar in the area but I'm not going to that alone either and not this soon in my "career." So I guess I am a bit stumped. :daydreaming: Girls, I need to "play safe" but...but...I just want to hear my heels clicking somewhere else outside my house, feel wind in my hair (wig) for once, have my cute green purse dangling on my shoulder, and my hips swaying a little as I walk. :daydreaming: Is there another safe place you can think of for step 2? I live in a small city so I have to be low profile here.


thanks everyone



Josie

[Tracey Corset]

Hi Josie, difficult one that, for me i have a coastline about 35 miles away so i would have a walk there, if thats not an option for you can you drive out far enough to the countryside and maybe have a walk, you could dress as a female hiker pack a picnic and go for it, i often do
Tracey x

[deja true]

Hmmm! I don't think I'd be a fan of hiway rest stops at any time, day or nite, but especially at nite anyway.

If ya wanted to go out in the daytime, or least early evening...how about ...

pedestrian malls...
art museum or gallery...
arboretum or public garden...
college campus...
church...?

[Sally24]

A quick stop would be a convience store. They've seen it all.....especially at night. Stop and get a soda or a snack. It's well lit, public and safe. Of course you could gas up at the same time. I think everyone has a gassing up photo in their library.

I found restuarants to be good because if your height or movement give you away, you're sitting down most of the time. You do have to interact with the wait staff but they are normally very good with us.

I too like the museums. I've gone to several with my wife and it was lovely to just walk around looking at displays. You can stop occasionally and sit and people watch. Then get back up and slowly walk around. The key to moving is to slow things down and smooth things out. Try to flow from movement to movement.

Make sure that you don't go to deserted spots for privacy. There is much less safety in that kind of place and is not a good idea for early trips in your carreer.

Good luck and enjoy!

[Sarah Martin]

A walk in the country was my second step. Assuming you know the area well you will know somewhere quiet where you can be yourself. You also get a lot of warning of others (spot people in the distance, overheard conversation coming toward you, dogs barking etc) so you can step off the path if you don't want to encounter anyone.

The beach/coast is also good, if the local teenagers have not taken it over.

I'd be very wary of unlit/poorly lit areas urban areas at night. You might attract unwelcome attention - either 'outed' as a CD and abused or you might pass as a gg and attract unwelcome sexual attention.

The advice I'd give is to take someone with you, if it's possible, for your own piece of mind. Or a dog.

xxx
Sarah

[shannonsilk]

If there is one anywhere nearby, go to a meeting of a TG or CD group. Safe and supportive. Wandering around the parking lot of a shopping center where there is visibility but not too many people close by?!?!

[Karren H]

All my steps pretty much ran together..... After driving around a few times I think I hit the local mall... and then a casino!! They will take your money no matter how your dressed....

[Sandra Dunn]

It works best if you have a sister to go with you. Are there any near you? How far is the nearest big town?

For me the biggest thing I did localy was halloween, here. I went to DFW and met with a sister who went with me for my first big outing that wasn't halloween. I did that twice and now I'm the big sister helping sisters with their first outings.

It really helps if you have someone to go with you, they should be able to take you to places that are used to seeing us. Some of us really look out of place the first time or two we go out, it takes pratice, work and with time we can go out and people will wonder if we're a amn or a woman. Yes there are those who do extremily and there are no questions about them being a woman.

It's all in the attitude, HUGS Sandra

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Done it many times, people are so busy walking they don't have time to check you out. But one point walking in heels in the park may give you away, suggest walking shoes. :battingeyelashes:

[Jenna1561]

You've read many good suggestions. If you're ging for a drive, a stop at a gas station is a natural and Pay-at-the-Pump eliminates that dreaded first interaction. Another easy and short stop is at an ATM, even if you're only checking your balance; just be sure it's not too late, it's well lighted in the evening and there are nearby people. DO NOT go if it's dark and deserted.

I liked walks in park and on college campuses; outdoor then indoor malls. As Karren suggested casinos are also great places, if you have any nearby.


Jenna

[CD Susan]

One of the easiest places to go out dressed is the gas station like others have said. You can pay at the pump or pay inside like I like to do. Another easy place is Walmart! Go there late at night and it will be almost deserted. The only person you will have to interact with is the checkout person and that will not be a problem. If you are not comfortable with this you can use the self checkout lanes. The grocery store is another great place to go to especially late at night when there are fewer people around. It is true, no one will care about how you look and will not say anything about your appearance. The best place of all to go out is a cd/tg support group meeting. Everyone there will be dressed up just like you are and you will be totally accepted. I hope this helps, I remember when I was where you are now and realise how important words like these are. Good luck dear, you can do it.

[joann07]

All those suggestions are great advice most of which I've done.
I would also like to add going to the local postoffice, at night and in a safe neighborhood, to drop off a letter in the drop box or buy stamps using the vending machine.


Hugs!